Bongo Heracles
Junior Member
Technically illegal to ride on public land
Posts: 4,625
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Jan 4, 2022 18:33:06 GMT
Is it lip service to get married or are you actually going balls deep into it and have some sort of belief?
Don’t answer that if you don’t want, I just can’t quite get my head around why anyone would be arsed to do something like this.
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cubby
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doesn't get subtext
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Post by cubby on Jan 4, 2022 18:54:42 GMT
Charlotte converted to Judaism for Harry in SATC
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2022 18:54:43 GMT
Happy to answer it. It's basically lip service but I love that she's a person of faith who's extremely curious about the world; while you might not believe me, she's not dogmatic. Basically she's into four of the five pillars of Islam - faith, prayer, charity and fasting (she doesn't do pilgrimage), beyond that she's very chilled. But because I love her and that, I want to be able to help her in any way I can - so for example there's a more liberal Muslim community in Cambridge that I've said we'll go to (the Muslim community in Birmingham is, in her words, "full of sexist morons.")
I used to be a Christopher Hutchins worshipping atheist dudebro but I really can't be bothered these days and actually I'd love to learn more about it and the culture so I can be a good partner to her. Who knows, maybe it will give me a different perspective on things.
So, lip service with good intentions and an open mind, I'd say.
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Post by Danno on Jan 4, 2022 19:05:58 GMT
Charlotte converted to Judaism for Harry in SATC Didn't Charlotte marry William? And Harry married that lady that the tabloids are all racist about? I'm confused |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2022 19:24:06 GMT
I don't watch Sex and the City so I got a bit confused there when I saw William, Harry and Judaism in the same sentence.
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cubby
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doesn't get subtext
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Post by cubby on Jan 4, 2022 19:32:21 GMT
No Charlotte first married Trey but they were incompatible and divorced soon after. Then she married Harry.
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Post by Nemesis on Jan 4, 2022 20:23:56 GMT
Well, last night wasn’t quite so bad without the cup of tea in hand so onto day 2. Using 6pm as a good cut-off point let’s see if I can get to 3am without having to get up for the loo!
/officially old/
Also started the day with a mindfulness session and that really helped me with the work day. I didn’t feel the need to snap at people, which is very unusual for me.
/really officially old/
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2022 21:51:46 GMT
Well done Nemesis 🙂
I meant to meditate first thing, but never got around to it. I'm going to do it now...
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Post by Nemesis on Jan 4, 2022 22:32:41 GMT
Don’t you be falling asleep !
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Post by Bill in the rain on Jan 4, 2022 23:23:06 GMT
Falling asleep just means you've mastered it. And Harry married that lady that the tabloids are all racist about? This is waay OT, but this was such a massive own goal internationally. 100% of non-brits I've talked to were impressed by Harry marrying someone like Megan, and deeply unimpressed by the way she was subsequently treated. |
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Post by jetsetchilli on Jan 7, 2022 1:07:51 GMT
In my quest to shift some belly fat I have completed 4hrs 20 min of cycling over 5 indoor rides since Sunday. Totaling around 60 miles. I have another 3hrs 20 scheduled over the next 3 days before a rest day on Monday. This sufferfest (Systm app) training plan is pretty brutal, but no pain no gain!.. I have failed massively with the going to bed early resolution though.  |
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Post by Danno on Jan 7, 2022 1:17:19 GMT
In my quest to shift some belly fat I have completed 4hrs 20 min of cycling over 5 indoor rides since Sunday. Totaling around 60 miles. I have another 3hrs 20 scheduled over the next 3 days before a rest day on Monday. This sufferfest (Systm app) training plan is pretty brutal, but no pain no gain!.. I have failed massively with the going to bed early resolution though. You're smashing it with the riding one though |
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Post by Wizzard_Ook on Jan 7, 2022 8:30:09 GMT
Didn’t really have it planned but I just picked up a nanowrimo book I started a couple of years back that I put aside. I just can’t seem to forget about it and it’s always nagging me to actually continue with it and eventually finish. Tried to put some work into it over those two years but nothing really worked out. Saw something on Twitter about writing just 250 words a day (which will get you 91,000 by years end) and it’s seemed to have kickstarted me into writing again. Which is great. Don’t know if it will last but it would be good to give it a go this year. Weirdly my urge to write comes when I’m utterly miserable so perhaps I will make that my years goal. Two birds with one stone.
250 a day is a nice amount. Can easily go over it but you don’t feel to sheepish if you just manage to write one sentence. A 1000 a day over a course or a month is quite daunting and stressful. This is more my own pace.
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Post by Danno on Jan 9, 2022 4:59:37 GMT
I fucked it and got shitfaced. Ms Danno is not happy, to put it mildly.
On the tiniest of positives on the positive side, such as it is, I'm awake and fully aware of how awful I am, and I'm determined to have another reset to go again.
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Post by Dougs on Jan 9, 2022 7:11:59 GMT
Take each day as it comes, all you can do. I very nearly wavered yesterday - my son was just vile all day and had us both stressed as fuck.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2022 8:58:23 GMT
I don't know how many "Day 1"s I had before it stuck, but it was a lot. Each time I failed, I restarted (eventually at times) and I got there in the end. It's not easy. There's a physical and a mental addiction that both want you to restart. The mental addiction takes a long time to get the better of and the physical really kicks in after 4 days. I used to describe it as feeling like my throat was cut as I was craving that much.
As Doug's says, the key is to think "I had one slip in X days" and not that "fuck it, I've failed, I'm going to get and stay shitfaced. I can't do this." Keep trying and bit by bit it slowly gets easier and the time between fuck ups gets less... Usually. You can go through spells you go through multiple day 1s (as that little defeatist voice of addiction is strong), but if you keep trying you will get there
You certainly won't if you don't.
You've helped your body, mind, bank balance and relationship with the cutting back you did.
It took me about 4 years to quit. Those 4 years included 18 months sober and then 6 months back on it thinking I could now moderate (I couldn't but your brain tries very hard to go back to its addiction). I threw out all the alcohol I had in the house and stocked up with loads of AF and soft drinks. I locked stuff away and gave the key to my partner. I exercised. I did anything except pick up that bottle.
You did well wanting to stop Danno. That's the first step. You did well cutting back as long as you did (it's very hard when you need to cut back rather than stop). You've done well bouncing back and thinking you'll get back to it rather than the usual "fuck it". You're also lucky your partner is supporting you. Mine didn't and thought it was a fad. Turned out they were the fad.
Well done mate. Try to beat your record next time and maybe buy yourself a year with the money you saved with the last effort to remember why you're doing it and that there are benefits. I think I used to spend around £100 a week when drinking. No way I could afford that now... Not with my coke habit 🤣
Well done bouncing back.
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Post by Danno on Jan 9, 2022 9:26:18 GMT
I don't know how many "Day 1"s I had before it stuck, but it was a lot. Each time I failed, I restarted (eventually at times) and I got there in the end. It's not easy. There's a physical and a mental addiction that both want you to restart. The mental addiction takes a long time to get the better of and the physical really kicks in after 4 days. I used to describe it as feeling like my throat was cut as I was craving that much. As Doug's says, the key is to think "I had one slip in X days" and not that "fuck it, I've failed, I'm going to get and stay shitfaced. I can't do this." Keep trying and bit by bit it slowly gets easier and the time between fuck ups gets less... Usually. You can go through spells you go through multiple day 1s (as that little defeatist voice of addiction is strong), but if you keep trying you will get there You certainly won't if you don't. You've helped your body, mind, bank balance and relationship with the cutting back you did. It took me about 4 years to quit. Those 4 years included 18 months sober and then 6 months back on it thinking I could now moderate (I couldn't but your brain tries very hard to go back to its addiction). I threw out all the alcohol I had in the house and stocked up with loads of AF and soft drinks. I locked stuff away and gave the key to my partner. I exercised. I did anything except pick up that bottle. You did well wanting to stop Danno. That's the first step. You did well cutting back as long as you did (it's very hard when you need to cut back rather than stop). You've done well bouncing back and thinking you'll get back to it rather than the usual "fuck it". You're also lucky your partner is supporting you. Mine didn't and thought it was a fad. Turned out they were the fad. Well done mate. Try to beat your record next time and maybe buy yourself a year with the money you saved with the last effort to remember why you're doing it and that there are benefits. I think I used to spend around £100 a week when drinking. No way I could afford that now... Not with my coke habit 🤣 Well done bouncing back. Thanks man. Currently trying to make amends via my first ever attempt at American pancakes. And there's no maple syrup left so I have Lyles "maple flavoured" syrup. What could go wrong? |
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dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,516
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Post by dmukgr on Jan 9, 2022 9:37:45 GMT
Don't worry Danni, giving up the drink is easy - I've done it loads of times, including twice this week.
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Post by Danno on Jan 9, 2022 10:31:17 GMT
Don't worry Danni, giving up the drink is easy - I've done it loads of times, including twice this week. Avatar checks out |
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Post by Dougs on Jan 9, 2022 12:03:03 GMT
Don't worry Danni, giving up the drink is easy - I've done it loads of times, including twice this week. Sounds like a Sinatra (or similar) quote |
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Jan 9, 2022 12:42:02 GMT
Possibly, I'm sure there are loads of variations from lots of people.
I've always liked the story about Richard Prior up in court for cocaine possession and asked by the judge if he had anything to say. His reply was something along the lines of he wasn't an addict, he just loved the smell.
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Post by Danno on Jan 9, 2022 22:52:08 GMT
Ms Danno is moving out 'temporarily' at the end of the month. Fair do's, the last couple years have been a bit of a strain for a lotta reasons and my relapse last night was a breaking point.
I'm getting a drink.
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Post by retro74 on Jan 9, 2022 23:28:54 GMT
Danno sorry to hear that pal. How do you feel about it? Relief? Dread?
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Post by Danno on Jan 9, 2022 23:35:27 GMT
Both. Neither of us are particularly well adjusted or happy at the mo'
I'm not fishing, just needed to blurt it out somewhere and I can't summon my friends to the pub due to age, commitments, distances and covid.
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Post by retro74 on Jan 9, 2022 23:37:14 GMT
Yeah sometimes you’re just better apart for a bit. Relationship are hard, they shouldn’t be but they are
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Zomoniac
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Post by Zomoniac on Jan 9, 2022 23:37:43 GMT
Always welcome to blurt it out here. No judgement. Your progress seems promising so far though. You haven’t undone everything yet, nor will you.
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Post by Danno on Jan 10, 2022 0:44:10 GMT
Honestly, one dog and I'd be right as rain. Was up at 6am when I was looking after the neighbour's pooch and my heart broke when I had to leave Milly with the ex
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2022 8:00:17 GMT
Really sorry to hear that Danno. 🙁 It's understandable that you'll reach for a drink, but try and use this time for you and one of the best things you can do is try and get your self where you want to be. I hope things work out for you both mate and I hope she comes back with you both in better places.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Jan 10, 2022 8:38:20 GMT
Indeed, sorry to hear that Danno, but hope things work out for both of you. Wish I could offer more than that.
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Post by Dougs on Jan 10, 2022 8:39:25 GMT
+1
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