H-alphaFox
Junior Member
Buy Kramer Coin now!
Posts: 2,287
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Post by H-alphaFox on Nov 1, 2022 21:03:56 GMT
I'd like a nice bin personally. Don't even have one.
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Post by grey_matters on Dec 5, 2022 11:36:06 GMT
Normally I'd be praising the new generation coming up but on a train right now (a bunch of college girls at a guess, couldn't follow who said what except the one that was closest was always the same girl):
"'Float lIke a butterfly, sting like a bee', where does that come from?"
"Muhammad Ali"
"Is he dead?"
"Yeah, 2018 or something"
"Yeah, he was assassinated"
"What?! He died of natural causes!"
"What?! No?! No wait, I'm thinking of Martin Luther King"
"When did he die?"
"I dunno, 1963 or something"
"It says here '1546'"
"Oh yeah, there were two"
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Post by smoothpete on Mar 9, 2023 17:41:36 GMT
Man in my local corner shop buying a 9% polish lager, to the shopkeeper:
“I’ll have a strong one tonight boss. I’ve got to beat someone up”
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,432
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Post by Vortex on Mar 9, 2023 17:54:46 GMT
Never change Reading.
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Bongo Heracles
Junior Member
Technically illegal to ride on public land
Posts: 4,671
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Mar 9, 2023 17:58:47 GMT
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Post by smoothpete on Mar 9, 2023 18:00:15 GMT
No shit. I saw 2 separate drug deals happening on my way to the shop 👍
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jono62
Full Member
Posts: 5,299
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Post by jono62 on Mar 9, 2023 18:41:45 GMT
Is that because you're the dealer?
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dogbot
Full Member
Posts: 8,738
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Post by dogbot on Mar 9, 2023 18:55:33 GMT
You have to cope with being in Reading somehow.
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Post by smoothpete on Mar 9, 2023 20:13:26 GMT
Is that because you're the dealer? The customer of course |
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Post by smoothpete on Mar 30, 2023 6:20:42 GMT
Buying a bottle of water at the gym cafe:
“Any allergies?”
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,432
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Post by Vortex on Mar 30, 2023 8:27:55 GMT
Yes, just to H2O...
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sport✅
Junior Member
notice me senpai
I want to claim my tits
Posts: 2,332
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Post by sport✅ on Mar 30, 2023 8:34:55 GMT
Dihydrogen Monoxide is in everything these days and it's killing us.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,412
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Post by cubby on Mar 30, 2023 9:35:22 GMT
My nana drank that stuff every day and it gradually killed her over 82 years.
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Post by smoothpete on May 5, 2023 16:35:25 GMT
Think I might just start selling crack. The market for it round here is vibrant to say the least. Walking to the pub now, different direction to last time I posted about it, and again passed by 2 separate drug deals going down. The underpass just littered with dozens of little empty clingfilm wraps
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Post by smoothpete on May 10, 2023 1:06:35 GMT
“I am the angel of pain. I will kick you in your fucking teeth”
(Some business twat in a suit outside a restaurant in Denver. He does not appear to be the angel of pain)
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Post by elstoof on May 10, 2023 2:00:58 GMT
Pete always delivers the best snippets
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Post by elstoof on May 10, 2023 2:02:55 GMT
I once heard some tech bro twat in San Francisco drop “well newsflash dipshit!” Into the middle of a telephone rant
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Post by Dougs on May 10, 2023 5:24:51 GMT
Think I might just start selling crack. The market for it round here is vibrant to say the least. Walking to the pub now, different direction to last time I posted about it, and again passed by 2 separate drug deals going down. The underpass just littered with dozens of little empty clingfilm wraps Missed this. This is the first thing that came to mind. youtu.be/mDBq-OU1rHo |
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Post by smoothpete on May 19, 2023 18:08:08 GMT
Just walked past a dude sat on a wall in the town centre eating a handful of chicken nuggets. Not like, he had several boxed nuggets and was eating them. He had maybe 8 nuggets just loose in his bare hand and was slowly chowing down. I’m never really sure whether I love or hate this town
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Post by smoothpete on May 19, 2023 18:11:29 GMT
He looked happy about it though to be fair so maybe I’m the arsehole
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Rich
Junior Member
Posts: 1,994 
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Post by Rich on May 19, 2023 18:19:44 GMT
Pete's snippets of Reading are why I try and stay on this side of the river. We're just better people over here.
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Post by smoothpete on May 27, 2023 12:18:00 GMT
“I don’t really like getting spirits for ya but I’ll buy you vapes and beers”
(Homeless guy negotiating with a teenager who had asked him to buy stuff for him and his mates. Nice to see he has standards)
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Post by elstoof on May 27, 2023 14:11:29 GMT
Stood in the park with the other dads at kids football training, two ~13 year old girls in uniform walk past and one utters “the ginger lesbians are coming to get us” to the other
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Post by Nemesis on May 27, 2023 16:59:22 GMT
MARMALADE SANDWICH!
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dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,534
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Post by dmukgr on May 28, 2023 15:13:33 GMT
Outside a pub in London having a beer I hear a Chelsea fan hoping they get relegated next year so he can get a season ticket again as he’d love to do the lower leagues.
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EMarkM
Junior Member
Well, quite...
Posts: 2,150
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Post by EMarkM on Jun 24, 2023 13:28:03 GMT
In our High Street earlier today:
“Look, I used to work with Jo: I KNOW what her legs taste like!”
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Post by Nemesis on Aug 10, 2023 7:17:45 GMT
"It's like that film with 2 funerals and a wedding..."
'With the Four weddings and funeral?"
'Yes, what's the film?"
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Post by Dougs on Aug 10, 2023 10:49:52 GMT
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EMarkM
Junior Member
Well, quite...
Posts: 2,150
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Post by EMarkM on Aug 19, 2023 11:03:11 GMT
Two middle-aged, erm, “intellectuals”…walking through town. One to the other:
“Yeah, well whatever 99p is, that’s what I weigh.”
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Post by Zuluhero on Aug 19, 2023 11:10:39 GMT
Couple arguing, him to her; "you're everything that's wrong with existence you fucking bitch..."
Then he stormed off and she meekly followed him.
What a douche.
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