anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Dec 30, 2021 23:58:17 GMT
That can't be true, but I love it any way Totes is. She had a passion for anal and had accommodated gentlemen of far greater chadness than myself, and I think it had ruined her a bit. That was my theory anyway. She used to shit the bed when she was wankered as well. |
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anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Dec 31, 2021 0:02:29 GMT
It wasn't like it was every day, I mean that would have been unreasonable: just every other month or so when she had a megapoo.
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anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Dec 31, 2021 0:03:10 GMT
Ah, sweet cherished memories. Something to tell the grandchildren.
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Post by dfunked on Dec 31, 2021 0:05:01 GMT
Well that's my covid booster fever dream for tonight sorted... Thanks!
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Post by MysteryLamb on Dec 31, 2021 0:40:58 GMT
A thread all about poo I've avoided until now. We all shit and all shits are unique so fair enough. Love a good shit, it's a rare and difficult to judge pleasure. However...
I once went on a work stag do (R* - never a name drop reference because it's the past, but a little insight.) It was probably 15-18 blokes. The evening seemed to revolve around the idea of doing a shit in whatever pub toilet we were in at the time and taking a photo of it. Then sitting in a beer garden while the boss or his hilariously vulgar cronies passed the phone around for us to all whoop and cheer at that green bit, the size, the texture, the description of its birth, the blood.
It was unpleasant but the looks from surrounding people were so embarrassing. It was the asst managers stag do so I (and a few others) were trapped. Boisterous bollocks.
We did manage to slope off though at about 12.30. had our own little singstar party with the the GFS and got wasted. Turned out well.
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Post by Sarfrin on Dec 31, 2021 0:56:14 GMT
As COVID has taught us very clearly, a significant proportion of adult humans are just ambulatory lunatics who are best avoided if at all possible.
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Post by Danno on Dec 31, 2021 1:32:39 GMT
I started my working life as an HGV mechanic and.... fucking hell what?? |
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anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Dec 31, 2021 2:13:45 GMT
When I was at uni, I had a mate that would take pictures of his best shits and show them to his missus. If she was in the house, he'd beckon her to the WC so she could take in the glory first hand.
I believe his piece de resistance was one that was standing up perpendicular to the water, like a feculent Burj Khalifa.
He was very proud of that one, he remarked on it often.
I went to public school, so there are rugby club shit anecdotes I could recount aplenty, but the most common one was never to leave your pint unattended, as when you came back you would probably encounter a shit-smeared glass - a margarita of unwiped-arse remnants.
This seems common to rugby clubs the world over, I think it's in the rugby league rulebook, or something.
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Dec 31, 2021 9:35:13 GMT
What the fuck is a rectocele and why didn't you marry her, you sick fuck Dictionary says: a protrusion or herniation of the rectum into the vagina. Although I haven't tried it, I wouldn't recommend to do an image search for that. Sounds to me like a fixable problem. Or you could push leftover shit towards the anus with one finger in the vagina while fishing it out of the rectum with another for the rest of your life. |
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Post by dfunked on Dec 31, 2021 9:50:33 GMT
I've just woken up... Was "rate my poo" an actual thing or was that just part of my especially fucking weird dream?...
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jan 1, 2022 10:36:21 GMT
Sincere apologies to any staff or customers who may have the displeasure of visiting the facilities at my local Sainsbury's this morning but really you should have a loo brush available. A rare and unavoidable public toilet occasion this morning.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jan 11, 2022 1:28:59 GMT
I haven't eaten anything out of the ordinary for a while now, and yet after tonight's toilet action, I have been left with an arsehole like a peeled orange.
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Post by rawshark on Jan 13, 2022 11:17:33 GMT
One side effect of Dry January is that my produce has been girthy as fuck. Probably haven't had a solid shit for eleven months so that's one way to ring in the new year.
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Post by rawshark on Jan 13, 2022 11:23:38 GMT
Sincere apologies to any staff or customers who may have the displeasure of visiting the facilities at my local Sainsbury's this morning but really you should have a loo brush available. A rare and unavoidable public toilet occasion this morning. It's a "help me to help you" situation. It grinds my gears at the office though when there is clearly a brush right there and someone who I must see every day leaves the bowl looking like something out of Splatterhouse. I usually end up cleaning it up myself as it's not something our poor cleaners should have to put up with. Personally, I don't think I've ever had a public toilet occasion that hasn't been interrupted two minutes in by someone knocking at the door. |
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,354
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Post by cubby on Jan 13, 2022 11:31:07 GMT
I had to clean a bit of poo off the side of the bowl that my other half left me this morning
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,729
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Post by mrpon on Jan 13, 2022 11:33:55 GMT
Their toothbrush usually works for the more stubborn ones.
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Post by dfunked on Jan 13, 2022 11:44:41 GMT
Obviously try to blast it off with piss first.
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,729
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Post by mrpon on Jan 13, 2022 12:19:45 GMT
Possibly the wrong time to be reading this thread whilst eating raisins.
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Post by barchetta on Jan 13, 2022 14:23:59 GMT
I was making the kids school sarnies last night and was met with a cry of revulsion.
Turned out they saw me using an old knife which child 1 had used MONTHS AGO to pick some wedged dog egg out of his trainers.
Said item of cutlery had been forensically cleaned and gone through god knows how many dishwasher cycles but still held an appealing sway over the kids, and will be forever now known as 'The Poo Knife'.
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Post by Danno on Jan 13, 2022 15:54:47 GMT
Could be a useful bargaining/disciplinary tool
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2022 16:03:24 GMT
"Behave or it's lunch made with the poo knife tomorrow"
Good idea. I don't have one myself but it's quite easy to make one isn't it.
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dmukgr
Junior Member
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Member is Online
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Post by dmukgr on Jan 13, 2022 16:09:06 GMT
Anephric's ex should be able to help you with that.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
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Post by cubby on Jan 13, 2022 16:12:55 GMT
There's always that funky looking knife in the cutlery drawer, the horrors they've seen.
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Post by Sarfrin on Jan 13, 2022 19:34:41 GMT
I was making the kids school sarnies last night and was met with a cry of revulsion. Turned out they saw me using an old knife which child 1 had used MONTHS AGO to pick some wedged dog egg out of his trainers. Said item of cutlery had been forensically cleaned and gone through god knows how many dishwasher cycles but still held an appealing sway over the kids, and will be forever now known as 'The Poo Knife'. I'm with them. Once you've used something to clean up dog shit it's not cutlery any more. |
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
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Post by ozthegweat on Jan 13, 2022 19:45:58 GMT
Female dog shit? Bitch poo-lease!
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Post by barchetta on Jan 13, 2022 19:59:24 GMT
Reckon I could get away with spreading peanut butter though.
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Post by Danno on Jan 13, 2022 19:59:36 GMT
I was making the kids school sarnies last night and was met with a cry of revulsion. Turned out they saw me using an old knife which child 1 had used MONTHS AGO to pick some wedged dog egg out of his trainers. Said item of cutlery had been forensically cleaned and gone through god knows how many dishwasher cycles but still held an appealing sway over the kids, and will be forever now known as 'The Poo Knife'. I'm with them. Once you've used something to clean up dog shit it's not cutlery any more. Buttlery? |
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Post by dfunked on Jan 13, 2022 20:18:11 GMT
I'll happily eat with the fork we use for cat food, but a shit knife?! Ewwww!
Team chuck it in the bin.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,360
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jan 13, 2022 21:11:52 GMT
What about a toe knife?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2022 16:45:53 GMT
"Buttlery" is an underrated gem.
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