askew
Full Member
Posts: 6,793
Member is Online
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Post by askew on Dec 26, 2021 21:49:57 GMT
It's just staying there after 2 flushes What do I do?! Time for your Poo Knife |
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Post by Danno on Dec 26, 2021 21:50:18 GMT
It's just staying there after 2 flushes What do I do?! Time for your Poo Knife oh no |
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Post by Zuluhero on Dec 26, 2021 21:50:32 GMT
It's just staying there after 2 flushes What do I do?!  |
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Post by Danno on Dec 26, 2021 21:52:18 GMT
Pretty sure my toilet thinks they're the victim of a hate crime
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Post by Danno on Dec 26, 2021 21:53:14 GMT
Feeling good, and lighter now though
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,354
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Post by cubby on Dec 26, 2021 21:53:47 GMT
Danno's toilet: "why are you suffocating me??"
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Post by Zuluhero on Dec 26, 2021 21:54:12 GMT
I always weigh myself after, it always makes me feel good 😊
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Post by Danno on Dec 26, 2021 21:57:49 GMT
Danno's toilet: "why are you suffocating me??" My toilet is a whingy shite anyway |
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Post by stacks on Dec 27, 2021 20:04:41 GMT
Well the 3 days back log had become the present log. It came over the water! Its happened at my Mother in Laws so I guess it will have been widely commented on.
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Post by Dougs on Dec 27, 2021 20:09:18 GMT
Pretty sure my toilet thinks they're the victim of a hate crime When I shared a bog with 6 blokes at uni, we decided that the toilet was punishment for a paedo. An Open mouthed paedo taking the punishment they deserve. |
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Post by Dougs on Dec 27, 2021 20:09:47 GMT
Well the 3 days back log had become the present log. It came over the water! Its happened at my Mother in Laws so I guess it will have been widely commented on. Good work. |
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Blue_Mike
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Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,360
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Post by Blue_Mike on Dec 27, 2021 22:17:25 GMT
I can absolutely understand how Elvis died on the toilet. I expended so much energy on my last movement I am certain a large portion of my life force left with it.
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Post by dfunked on Dec 27, 2021 23:05:42 GMT
My post-feast birthing ritual was surprisingly pleasant... Flushed in one go, didn't even leave a mark in the bowl (but I still scrubbed it in confusion) and only took two wipes.
Pretty much my dream poo on the best of days, never mind after all that food...
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Post by barchetta on Dec 28, 2021 1:17:03 GMT
Well, not often I have to do battle with a bathroom behemoth but Christmas is the time for giving.
I needed the open handed method, lashed some loo roll around the fingers and coaxed it down...
Having earlier enjoyed the Christmas Gone Fishing, I thought it rather appropriate to cry '... and away' as I gave it a final flush.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,354
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Post by cubby on Dec 28, 2021 18:59:33 GMT
All the food I've eaten the last few days seems to have decided to come out today, most notably the madras from last night. I've had 5 solid poo sessions today, all substantial, you know those ones where you can still feel the heat from them, blimey.
Kinda glad my missus hasn't had her sense of smell back yet
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Post by rawshark on Dec 29, 2021 1:56:26 GMT
The Christmas protein and wine feast has provided girthy black cables. Oh I wish it could be Christmas every day.
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askew
Full Member
Posts: 6,793
Member is Online
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Post by askew on Dec 29, 2021 11:14:28 GMT
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,360
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Post by Blue_Mike on Dec 30, 2021 0:43:07 GMT
And it burns, burns, burns... The ring of fire.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2021 9:23:39 GMT
Well, not often I have to do battle with a bathroom behemoth but Christmas is the time for giving. I needed the open handed method, lashed some loo roll around the fingers and coaxed it down... Having earlier enjoyed the Christmas Gone Fishing, I thought it rather appropriate to cry '... and away' as I gave it a final flush. I've now realised "coaxed it down" means down around the u-bend. Originally I thought you meant you were having to pull it down/out in the first place. Not sure which is worse, but thanks for the enduring mental images. |
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Post by dfunked on Dec 30, 2021 9:25:26 GMT
Not sure why, but my mind went there too... Either way pretty damn grim!
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,481
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Post by Lizard on Dec 30, 2021 22:39:19 GMT
Holy fuck.
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anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Dec 30, 2021 23:16:35 GMT
Years ago, I went out with a very fit lady who had a small rectocele, which basically meant her poo often got stuck coming out, like it had turned left instead of right and went down a cul de sac.
She just took it in her stride and after some initial misgivings, sometimes asked me to help her hook it out when she got tired of fishing around with a crooked finger.
Bobby Brown ain't got nothin' on me. I've seen it all, mate.
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Post by stacks on Dec 30, 2021 23:26:09 GMT
Holy fuck again
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Post by ignatiusjreilly on Dec 30, 2021 23:28:12 GMT
That can't be true, but I love it any way
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Dec 30, 2021 23:28:14 GMT
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,354
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Post by cubby on Dec 30, 2021 23:33:15 GMT
At work today I was presented with a whole toilet full of poo that one of my coworkers had clearly given up on trying to flush. It's my favourite loo so I took it upon myself to try myself to clear it. Turns out that the ballcock in the cistern was miscalibrated and so wasn't filling up enough, so I fixed that fucker and cleared it through, bosh! Poo time back on.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2021 23:38:39 GMT
Years ago, I went out with a very fit lady who had a small rectocele, which basically meant her poo often got stuck coming out, like it had turned left instead of right and went down a cul de sac. She just took it in her stride and after some initial misgivings, sometimes asked me to help her hook it out when she got tired of fishing around with a crooked finger. Bobby Brown ain't got nothin' on me. I've seen it all, mate. Aren't you powder balls guy too? Maybe that's the above and beyond that gets your balls powdered. |
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Post by Danno on Dec 30, 2021 23:39:47 GMT
What the fuck is a rectocele and why didn't you marry her, you sick fuck
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,481
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Post by Lizard on Dec 30, 2021 23:42:33 GMT
They say you can tell the quality of a woman's rectocele by how much pastry she eats.
Whatever it is mine is operating explosively at the moment.
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Post by Danno on Dec 30, 2021 23:45:26 GMT
They say you can tell the quality of a woman's rectocele by how much pastry she eats. Whatever it is mine is operating explosively at the moment. Aw jeez |
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