anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Oct 30, 2021 17:17:20 GMT
I have been having stomach ailments for quite some time now, and got fed up of having to investigate my arse thoroughly with endless wads of tp. So I have invested in some expensive pre- and pro-biotics.
Good golly, they've sorted me right out. You could use my turds as the foundation stones of a cathedral now. Flying buttresses and all.
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Post by Danno on Oct 30, 2021 18:52:21 GMT
That sounds super but I'm not sure I want a rectangular rectum
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Post by Sarfrin on Oct 30, 2021 23:50:02 GMT
It solves the age old problem of people trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
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Post by Danno on Oct 31, 2021 0:13:10 GMT
I'm mostly interested in them getting out of said hole. Easily. As easily as possible without being unable to hold those pegs in.
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Post by 😎 on Oct 31, 2021 0:18:49 GMT
Wombats do square poops, true story.
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Post by Danno on Oct 31, 2021 6:33:42 GMT
Wombats do square poops, true story. Ooooh, forbidden Oxo cubes. |
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,481
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Post by Lizard on Oct 31, 2021 6:42:30 GMT
Thai green curry last night, so felt the burn this morning.
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Post by Zuluhero on Oct 31, 2021 13:08:10 GMT
Does anyone else hate it when a poop hits the water and you get a cold drop of toilet water from the splash right in the anus?
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Post by Dougs on Oct 31, 2021 13:13:16 GMT
Neptune's Kiss? You are blessed!
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Post by Zuluhero on Oct 31, 2021 16:01:42 GMT
I'm blessed a little too often if I'm honest.
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marcp
New Member
Posts: 276
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Post by marcp on Nov 1, 2021 14:07:09 GMT
Hmmm. There was blood this morning, quite a bit, very dark, and running freely enough it was dripping onto the floor when I stood up. Should I be concerned?
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Post by LegendaryApe on Nov 1, 2021 14:09:29 GMT
Hmmm. There was blood this morning, quite a bit, very dark, and running freely enough it was dripping onto the floor when I stood up. Should I be concerned? Yes. Go to your doctor pal |
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Post by Danno on Nov 1, 2021 14:21:42 GMT
Hmmm. There was blood this morning, quite a bit, very dark, and running freely enough it was dripping onto the floor when I stood up. Should I be concerned? What LA said, and quickly. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2021 14:26:14 GMT
Christ yes. Go.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2021 14:36:04 GMT
How bad do things need to get before people take things seriously. Asking on a gaming forum if you need to go the Dr's because blood is leaking out of your arse?
Of course you need to go and see the Dr!
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marcp
New Member
Posts: 276
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Post by marcp on Nov 1, 2021 16:03:30 GMT
How bad do things need to get before people take things seriously. Asking on a gaming forum if you need to go the Dr's because blood is leaking out of your arse? Of course you need to go and see the Dr! I guess I'm a massive soft arse in that I've only ever needed a doctor or hospital twice or so in the last 25 years, and the last time made me realize I've actually got quite the phobia about it. |
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,729
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Post by mrpon on Nov 1, 2021 16:10:37 GMT
Bright red is normally fine, as in you've ripped your ass. Dark red is not good and yep needs a GP visit prontolike.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2021 16:25:18 GMT
I guess I'm a massive soft arse Heh, relevant! Get it checked out ASAP and I hope its nothing. |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Nov 1, 2021 20:46:20 GMT
How bad do things need to get before people take things seriously. Asking on a gaming forum if you need to go the Dr's because blood is leaking out of your arse? Of course you need to go and see the Dr! I guess I'm a massive soft arse in that I've only ever needed a doctor or hospital twice or so in the last 25 years, and the last time made me realize I've actually got quite the phobia about it. What did the doctor say? How's the hole |
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Post by Danno on Nov 1, 2021 20:51:01 GMT
I guess I'm a massive soft arse in that I've only ever needed a doctor or hospital twice or so in the last 25 years, and the last time made me realize I've actually got quite the phobia about it. What did the doctor say? How's the hole "Jesus Christ was Legendaryape in here recently?!" |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Nov 1, 2021 20:56:18 GMT
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Post by Zuluhero on Nov 1, 2021 21:32:38 GMT
So I had a bit of a stint of bloody poop, which was lots and quite dark. Ofc Google makes it seem like it's the worst case scenario.
Went to doctor, colonoscopy, everything perfectly fine. A bit of a dark patch halfway up (biopsy said fine) and loads of hemorrhoids. Basically they were popping whilst I was pooping. I couldn't believe how much blood though.
I did used to strain alot, and was constantly constipated. Got prescribed some movicol twice a day, and it all cleared up. And no more constipation. It rarely even touches the sides these days. Hemorrhoids have pretty much all gone too.
So morale is, go get checked, don't panic and hopefully it will turn out to be something easily remedied.
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Nov 1, 2021 21:36:43 GMT
My greatest achievement (poochievement? arsechievement?) is shitting during an online meeting. With just one other person, mind. The meeting went on and on and I was turtling. So I took the laptop, sat down on the porcelain throne, and constantly muted and unmuted the mic. "Uhuh" *mute* *poo-splash sounds* *unmute* "yeah sure" *mute* *next poo gets birthed* and so on.
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Post by Zuluhero on Nov 1, 2021 21:40:34 GMT
Brave. I have a shy bowel, couldn't ever go in a public toilet, and work was very hit-and-miss (mostly miss). Probably contributed to my irregular movements and constipation.
WFH has been a godsend for my toilet habits.
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Post by Danno on Nov 1, 2021 21:49:55 GMT
My greatest achievement (poochievement? arsechievement?) is shitting during an online meeting. With just one other person, mind. The meeting went on and on and I was turtling. So I took the laptop, sat down on the porcelain throne, and constantly muted and unmuted the mic. "Uhuh" *mute* *poo-splash sounds* *unmute* "yeah sure" *mute* *next poo gets birthed* and so on. How did you explain why your office wall was suddenly tiled while that vein on your forehead was playing up "Oz is... is that a cistern behind you?" "Nossir, new ergonomic .... unnfff ... chaaair ahhhh 'splooos*muted* |
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Nov 1, 2021 22:06:51 GMT
We were working on some spreadsheet, so we both had our webcams turned off.
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Nov 1, 2021 22:08:42 GMT
Also, my Mac turns into a blow-dryer and drains the battery like crazy with the webcam on.
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Post by Zuluhero on Nov 1, 2021 22:11:51 GMT
Hand dryer in a public toilet more like 😉
"what's that noise?"
"oh... It's just my... Laptop fan"
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Nov 1, 2021 22:20:54 GMT
How bad do things need to get before people take things seriously. Asking on a gaming forum if you need to go the Dr's because blood is leaking out of your arse? Of course you need to go and see the Dr! I guess I'm a massive soft arse in that I've only ever needed a doctor or hospital twice or so in the last 25 years, and the last time made me realize I've actually got quite the phobia about it. My mum had a phobia about going to the Doc's, as she finally admitted after about 15 years of me ribbing her about it, then one day despite about two years of probable symptoms she had no choice and died about 4 months later from liver cancer. True story. |
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ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
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Post by ozthegweat on Nov 1, 2021 22:29:11 GMT
I guess I'm a massive soft arse in that I've only ever needed a doctor or hospital twice or so in the last 25 years, and the last time made me realize I've actually got quite the phobia about it. My mum had a phobia about going to the Doc's, as she finally admitted after about 15 years of me ribbing her about it, then one day despite about two years of probable symptoms she had no choice and died about 4 months later from liver cancer. True story. Jesus. Sorry to hear that. |
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