Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,373
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Post by Blue_Mike on Apr 29, 2022 0:36:36 GMT
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Post by Danno on May 30, 2022 19:39:58 GMT
I've been at the pva glue in my sleep again it seems.
I spent the whole day needing to take smoke breaks every hour to let out gigantic farts (the office is too quiet to risk it), with the threat/promise of a very satisfying time once I could ascend to my own throne, but it was one of those.
I hate it.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,373
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jun 9, 2022 21:23:31 GMT
Well that was like pushing out a Stickle Brick.
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Post by dfunked on Jun 30, 2022 13:45:44 GMT
Constipation for the past few days and eased out a couple of smaller ones this morning (with a bit of a struggle)
My breakfast clearly didn't agree with me because the rest of it all came out a couple of hours later like a shotgun blast... Which coincided nicely with the water for the whole street going off before the next round. Next door neighbours came around to check if I knew anything and visibly wrinkled their noses at the rancid smell that wafted out of the door when it opened.
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,484
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Post by Lizard on Jul 7, 2022 5:04:41 GMT
After three days of loose spraying I have spent today producing huge logs.
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,395
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Post by Vortex on Jul 7, 2022 6:47:14 GMT
Congratulations!
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scanline
New Member
Building a better whirlpool
Posts: 445
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Post by scanline on Jul 7, 2022 6:48:39 GMT
Good time to bury er...huge logs.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,373
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jul 25, 2022 10:56:56 GMT
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
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Post by dfunked on Jul 25, 2022 21:53:30 GMT
Just had the mythical wipe that came up clean, followed by a clean double check.
Honestly thought it was going to be a warzone down there...
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
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Post by cubby on Jul 27, 2022 20:09:40 GMT
I swear mine just came out like a long tube and went up over the bend.
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Post by Danno on Jul 27, 2022 20:45:36 GMT
The famous ghost poo?
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
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Post by cubby on Jul 27, 2022 20:55:09 GMT
More like a sneaky eel, poking it's head out from under the bend. Half of it had made its way over but had got stuck.  Like this. |
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Post by Danno on Jul 27, 2022 20:58:12 GMT
Genuine 'what the fuck' lol
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patrick
New Member
Ugly bag of mostly water
Posts: 757 
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Post by patrick on Aug 22, 2022 6:02:57 GMT
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Post by Sarfrin on Aug 24, 2022 21:35:51 GMT
Christ my arse has not been playing fair today. Two glue poos and now I just thought I'd shat myself. Turned out to be a minor wet fart thank god. I'm scared to go to sleep.
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Post by Danno on Aug 24, 2022 22:18:20 GMT
Try a spoonful of pva glue.
As a enema.
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Post by Sarfrin on Aug 25, 2022 0:01:54 GMT
Try a spoonful of pva glue. As a enema. Thanks doc. PM me your address and I'll send you the results. |
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,484
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Post by Lizard on Sept 18, 2022 1:03:44 GMT
Loud, explosive.
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Post by art_of_pingu on Sept 18, 2022 6:51:44 GMT
The best thread on the web has been bumped
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,484
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Post by Lizard on Sept 18, 2022 7:06:35 GMT
My anus is enraged.
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Garfy
New Member
Posts: 385
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Post by Garfy on Sept 19, 2022 10:06:10 GMT
Given the queen a 21 bum salute!
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
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Post by cubby on Sept 19, 2022 16:49:50 GMT
Was this at the pleasuredrome?
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,373
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Post by Blue_Mike on Sept 23, 2022 21:37:39 GMT
The only way I can attempt to articulate the sheer size of the shit I just had would be to tell you to imagine yourself at a tube station in London, watching the train emerge from the tunnel.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 23, 2022 22:41:12 GMT
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Post by Zuluhero on Sept 26, 2022 11:21:29 GMT
So currently on day 4 of covid, and glued to the porcelain throne.
You hear alot about the symptoms you get but nobody seems to warn you of the liquid satan that pours from you. Pretty sure my sphincter has given up trying to pretend it's even trying to contain it.
This is my life now. Use this to document my decline into the unknown.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
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Post by cubby on Sept 26, 2022 11:24:44 GMT
It's when you start to see the internal organs slop out into the bowl that really gets worrying. But fortunately most people recover and their internal organs grow back to nearly precovid function.
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Post by Zuluhero on Sept 26, 2022 11:35:53 GMT
Well that's some consolation at least.
The worst part, apart from the weird noises coming from my gut, is the splash back. It goes everywhere. It's like a fire hose hitting the water. Wiping all the watery brown splash back from my balls and everywhere else before attempting the usual clean up is getting tiring, particularly as soon as Im just getting done, my gut starts gurgling again and it's onto the next round.
I just want it to end.
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Post by Zuluhero on Sept 26, 2022 17:10:01 GMT
I cracked and popped a few imodiums. The tap is now off.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
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Post by cubby on Oct 3, 2022 14:26:58 GMT
I never have to poo at work, but today I had some leftover sausage pasta for lunch and now I've had 2 thunder sessions.
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,395
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Post by Vortex on Oct 3, 2022 14:41:52 GMT
Excellent use of work time.
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