askew
Full Member
Posts: 6,798
|
Post by askew on Mar 15, 2022 15:58:28 GMT
Damn Garfy. I'm glad you got the help you needed. First occurence?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2022 16:04:55 GMT
Hahaha, amazing.
I would have killed myself or moved countries of I was you. I certainly could never go back to work.
|
|
mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,737
|
Post by mrpon on Mar 15, 2022 16:07:00 GMT
Should've styled it out Garf!  |
|
Garfy
New Member
Posts: 385
Member is Online
|
Post by Garfy on Mar 15, 2022 16:09:37 GMT
Not my first bowel issue but certainly nothing on this scale. It was just a perfect (shit)storm of circumstances. Oh and 2 days earlier I accidentally left my work laptop on the bus. Boss was able to track it down but that was a squeaky bum time too. Not my best week  Edit: Oh and I was supposed to have a pay review that afternoon. Got the raise yesterday  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2022 16:12:04 GMT
Where do you work that you're colleagues are supportive and not calling you gargly or shitty nicks?
|
|
Garfy
New Member
Posts: 385
Member is Online
|
Post by Garfy on Mar 15, 2022 16:14:25 GMT
Where do you work that you're colleagues are supportive and not calling you gargly or shitty nicks? Well I can't speak for what they say when I'm not there. And I'm really glad I decided against having a rum at that meal, god knows what might have happened!! |
|
|
|
Post by freddiemercurystwin on Mar 15, 2022 16:14:56 GMT
Where do you work that you're colleagues are supportive and not calling you gargly or shitty nicks? They all say that behind his back, though not within range. |
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Mar 15, 2022 16:30:52 GMT
I couldn't have let on. I'd have just fucked off somewhere, found a public toilet and gone home. Brave man garfy, brave man
|
|
Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,375
Member is Online
|
Post by Blue_Mike on Mar 15, 2022 16:38:14 GMT
They were all nothing but supportive I wish my colleagues were as open minded as yours. When I went in this morning, I had to fill in an Absence Form. I got about four sentences into my tale of woe, before the team leader stopped me and said "Under 'Reason', I'm just going to write 'Generally Unwell' and leave it at that." |
|
|
|
Post by grey_matters on Mar 15, 2022 16:49:39 GMT
Where do you work that you're colleagues are supportive and not calling you gargly or shitty nicks? Well I can't speak for what they say when I'm not there. And I'm really glad I decided against having a rum at that meal, god knows what might have happened!! I know! All that shit caked in your arse crack, streaking down your leg, soaked into your socks and filling your shoes, all the shit puddles on the ground infront of your colleagues, all of that might have smelled slightly of rum. |
|
mcmonkeyplc
Junior Member
General Martok Qapla!
Posts: 3,081
|
Post by mcmonkeyplc on Mar 15, 2022 16:58:57 GMT
I think I've been traumatised by reading that Mr Garfy!
Glad your colleagues aren't careless fucks!
|
|
dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,517
|
Post by dmukgr on Mar 15, 2022 17:08:29 GMT
Poor Garfy, and yeah, it sounds like you have some great colleagues. Mike sounds dodgy though, he clearly is massively exaggerating a fart whilst feeling generally unwell  |
|
Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,375
Member is Online
|
Post by Blue_Mike on Mar 15, 2022 17:28:55 GMT
Next time I have a day like that, I'll box up some samples for you to go over like a CSI.
|
|
dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,517
|
Post by dmukgr on Mar 15, 2022 17:43:37 GMT
Don’t forget to attach some to your sick form too.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zuluhero on Mar 15, 2022 19:38:33 GMT
Never had an ibs episode like that. Or ever.
Had a few bouts of not knowing which end to catch, but never out and about.
Sounds grim.
|
|
|
|
Post by art_of_pingu on Mar 15, 2022 20:06:12 GMT
Poor pants. Did you chuck them away or frame them in the office to remind everyone?
|
|
|
|
Post by freddiemercurystwin on Mar 15, 2022 20:23:24 GMT
Nobody in his office or indeed his company will ever forget it.
|
|
ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
|
Post by ozthegweat on Mar 25, 2022 20:36:55 GMT
Had a very nice dinner just now. Ate way too much, and during dessert felt something... sinister.
Even though I told the missus dinner was on me I had to tell her to pay because I needed to visit the porcelain throne pronto. Pressed out some very firm sewer sausages while being plagued by cramps. Wiped, got out and told her we needed to go home ASAP.
After arriving home, everything was fine… for 20 minutes. But after another excellent excrement, the floodgates opened. Literally. The most watery shit in a long time. Polka dots bowl. Thank god for wet toilet paper. And for mobile devices. What did our forefathers do? Play Montezuma's solitaire?
|
|
cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
|
Post by cubby on Mar 25, 2022 20:46:07 GMT
Well that's a conflicting TripAdvisor review.
|
|
ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
|
Post by ozthegweat on Mar 25, 2022 21:37:11 GMT
Don't know if a bad dinner can cause issues this quickly... it was about 1.5h after we were served the appetiser.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sarfrin on Mar 25, 2022 21:47:33 GMT
That's knocked my 'I pooed at the wrong time of day and it was like clay' story into a cocked hat.
|
|
|
|
Post by Zuluhero on Mar 25, 2022 22:32:38 GMT
A doctor once told me that with food related stuff usually happens in about 1 hour and if you get past the 6 hour mark, then you're usually in the clear.
|
|
Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,375
Member is Online
|
Post by Blue_Mike on Mar 26, 2022 3:07:20 GMT
I've been pretty much fine since The Incident. The only consequence of it really was that all the Immodium I took that day caused my next drop to be the size and density of a fire extinguisher. Since then, I've been back to a pretty regular style of the opening of the upside-down brown umbrella.
|
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Mar 26, 2022 15:14:36 GMT
Yeah, definitely sounds like food poisoning there Oz. What was the starter?
|
|
ozthegweat
New Member
Releasing indirect freedom
Posts: 873
|
Post by ozthegweat on Mar 26, 2022 16:47:57 GMT
Smoked cisco fillet on a green salad, with a potato truffle soup. But the GF had a few spoons of the soup and a few bites of the fish, so I doubt it's from that.
|
|
Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,375
Member is Online
|
Post by Blue_Mike on Apr 7, 2022 23:01:28 GMT
Do they make the equivalent of Optrex for tired, irritated sphincters?
|
|
|
|
Post by Danno on Apr 7, 2022 23:11:20 GMT
Do they make the equivalent of Optrex for tired, irritated sphincters? Yeah but it's expensive and involves a trip to London. Possibly some indignities |
|
cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,362
|
Post by cubby on Apr 8, 2022 6:31:43 GMT
Anusol?
|
|
|
|
Post by smoothpete on Apr 25, 2022 5:59:05 GMT
I weighed myself before and after my morning dump today. A mighty 1.3kg difference! What a start to the week
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2022 6:47:12 GMT
Jesus you been eating plutonium?
|
|
