Depression

Try on some of your new socks (and nothing else) and just chill out. You've earned it

Sorry things aren't going too well. I guess combating the mind altering chemicals your body is wrongly producing with other mind altering chemicals isn't ideal, but if it helps I'd do it.

A couple of whiskeys has always been mine as well. Not getting drunk, but something just about the ritual. Problem is I have been told very clearly diazapam, alcohol and sleep apnoea are a very bad combo. So not even a sip of a shandy for me.

Hi Ryan, as another anxious type, I can relate.

If you've stopped drinking, your brain will be trying hard to make adjustments to living without the poison which has been slowly reducing the seretonin receptors / sensitivity of the receptors over some time. It is common for you to go through all sorts of mental swings when you're quitting and your brain is trying to get backed to normal.

Aside from that, I don't like pills, bit if they work for you and they help, then use them. While using them though, look at how you're going to get back to "you".

Firstly as I say, your brain needs time (a lot of it) to get used to being without alcohol. Secondly, in the midst of quitting drinking, are you eating and drinking properly? I often found I forgot to drunk enough water and it took a long time to realise that dehydrated I am anxious. Also the alcoholic brain confuses thirst with "needing alcohol", so make sure you're drinking plenty. Make sure you're getting a varied diet and make sure you're sleeping and if possible exercising.

Then I'd say Suraj to your doctor or IAPT. The CBT course I'm on its not rocket science, but it's adjust made me notice that if I spot the early physical signs of anxiety (clenched jaw, crossed /bouncing leg etc) and I stop doing them, it breaks the cycle and the anxiety fades. There's links between emotions and thoughts and physical behaviours and if you break one, you stop the others. That's a bit simplistic but...

Anyway, look a taking the pill as a positive, as it's stopping drinking. It's making a conscious decision to make a change and to try and get better. You've realised that doing the same thing results in the same thing, so you need to try something else.

Remember this time of the year we tend to forget to look after ourselves (I've not slept enough, I've not exercised, I've not eaten properly, I've not drunk enough and I've been worrying about people being happy or am I doing the right thing or that Xmas will be over soon and I'll have to get back to work and face things again).

So, tldr, give yourself a break. Take what support you need. Get what help and advice you need. Look after yourself and take the advice the experts give you. You weren't always anxious and you will not always be. Nothing lasts forever and that applies to the shit stuff as well as the good.

Take care mate and I hope things work out for all of us in this thread.

People have setbacks, that doesn't mean you're back to square one. You've already got the tools you've developed to help you deal with your issues and it sounds like you know what you have to do. Definitely eat properly and drink enough water. Don't concern yourself so much with an idealised version of who you're suppose to be. Just do the best you can; everyone is a work in progress

Interesting. I’m on 100mg, and Sertraline makes me incredibly tired and lethargic all the time. I got put up to 200mg for a couple of months a few years ago and it basically stopped me getting up as my energy level dropped from its usual zero to whatever is a long way below that.

I’m actually planning on asking to be switched to a different med next month. It’s clearly doing nothing for my worsening anxiety, and just leaves me feeling shit about myself cos I never have the energy to do whatever I need to do.

I’m going to give a gigantic disclaimer here that any advice on medication should only be given from your healthcare provider.

Yeah, I'm sorry - I should have stated that I have felt a lot better about myself via this method - and it wasn't easy. I'm still scared.

Yeah definitely switch if you feel it's not working. I'm on 100mg of Sertraline and I feel ok. When I was originally put on AD it was Citalopram and that drove me further into the depths of despair and I had to have counselling after admitting I was thinking of ending it all.

Depression is a motherfucker though. I can't see myself ever getting off them, but I'm on a level I'm reasonably happy with for now. Just keep on 'truckin'

Ref sertraline, (which I've been on previously), I came across an interesting article that says that when given to primates who were not suffering depression, it altered their brain's structure. However, the article didn't link to the original study, and it's primates not humans, so it needs either the source data or correlation from another study. I found it interesting though, as I was given the stuff for anxiety rather than depression, so in "theory" could have had the same effect. I'm not that keen on bananas though, so should be okay.

med.unsw.edu.au/news-events/news/what-antidepressants-can-do-brain-not-depressed

First migraine for a couple of weeks and it was unpleasant. Last few hours I've been in bed wishing I was six feet under. It seems to have lifted his, but from 5pm to 1am I was not myself at all.

Think it has come because I started thinking about work (Tuesday) and ask the stuff I've been avoiding because I am on holiday.

Anyway, in it's gone now.

It's a bit vague I found. However, work your way through the core course material and it opens up with tools you can use each day.

It's not amazing, but there's been a few useful things it's told me and I've noticed a positive difference in myself. So actually, scratch that, it is amazing and after only three weeks I've seen a difference. I've still loads of the course to work through.

I'm aiming to do a unit or two a week and then log on daily to journal, mood monitor and check my activities.

Tldr, give it a go, you might be surprised. I was.

First feedback was by phone to see how I was getting on and ask if I had any questions. The guy unlocked a while bunch of other units on sleep, relaxation, stress etc during that meeting which are above and beyond what you get in the standard thing.

Next five weeks you get message feedback in the app from the same guy who reads what you've done and gives feedback. I'd forgotten this was the case, so wandered around on Thursday with my phone waiting for it to ring and eventually opened the app and saw the feedback. I've got a "how am
i feeling" questionnaire that needs doing within the week or they assume you're wanting to be discharged. I also forgot to message the guy with any questions I had for the feedback session as I'd forgotten it was textual... It's been a busy week and I'm a Muppet.

I'm not managing to do it every day, but almost every day. I didn't do it yesterday as I was shattered and had too much on. I need to ensure I do it daily though.

So 13 days without alcohol and still miserable as fuck.

Sleep is much much better. 2 hours less a night but much better. 1:30am to 8am turns out to be my natural rhythm. No longer waking up every hour or so which is pretty amazing for me.

Still got the anxiety, very low level but flares up for no reason at all. Yesterday suddenly had a whole day thinking I was dying. Diazapam didn't do much, but maybe got me through it. Just gutted I needed it, I was hoping after a week I would start improving, but no change really.

On the diazapam... 2mg tablets I have taken 7 over the 13 days. None for 5 days or so then yesterday needed 2 during the day. I really was hoping they would just be a alcohol withdrawal thing, but gutted I still need to carry. On the plus side the prescribe sleeping tablets and beta blockers I haven't touched.

Anyone else suffered a long time coming off of the beer? I just feel drained, foggy and lazy. Can't force myself to gym and the anxiety and panic attacks that I had while drinking haven't really abated much.

On the plus side, I have a fairly definite goal. 6kg and then will let myself have a beer again. And go back to my pre lockdown drinking which was acceptable. Just want to feel normal again sometime.