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Post by quadfather on Dec 20, 2021 20:01:25 GMT
Thanks guys, appreciated. Just going through the next practical steps. Not really upset (yet), just feel mainly bummed out by it all over the years really. Just getting on with it
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Post by crispyxuk on Dec 20, 2021 20:12:15 GMT
That’s all you can do mate, you’ve been through the hard bit already imo.
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Post by quadfather on Dec 20, 2021 20:19:35 GMT
Yeah I think so too. I've definitely already grieved some amount with mum already. I mean, she effectively died 5 years ago. But it's the official confirmation that kicks in you in the teeth. It's the remainder that I'm picking up now.
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Post by jablonski on Dec 21, 2021 9:04:18 GMT
Just wanted to put this down to see what people think.
I've suffered from clinical depression all my adult life (including teens).
I've tried therapists but I'm wary and don't tend to open up very well.
I've been on Citalopram for 10 years now.
5 years ago I got a good therapist through a local NHS programme, but unfortunately she quit after a bit and went private.
A year later I tracked her down and did 10 private sessions with her, but sadly she got MI and had to stop working (hope it wasn't me).
But one thing she said in the last session - she thinks I might not have depression, but rather BiPolar disorder.
Now this rings true with me, as I can still go out and socialise when I want - depression rarely stops me doing that anymore. And people think I'm a good party person to be out with.
And yes, alcohol is always there and I know it will transport me to a 'better' version of me.
BUT, in life - over the last 10 years, I've just stopped feeling joy in anything. I have no hobbies or interests anymore (apart from watching films, which is just another way of transporting me away from me).
I used to like cameras and lenses etc, but no I just think - 'whats the point'.
I don't bother doing art anymore, or galleries anymore. It all seems totally pointless.
Work I've started to totally resent. I've quit 3 jobs in two years, blaming the type of clients etc. But I'm starting to realise I'm just not invested anymore. I don't care about it at all.
Has anyone else got experience of Bi-Polar? Does any of this sound familiar?
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Post by 😎 on Dec 21, 2021 9:14:32 GMT
Best advice there would be to get a referral to a psychologist if you haven’t already. Broadly speaking, therapists don’t (and in some instances shouldn’t) diagnose. The reason that matters is bipolar can be extremely medication or psychotherapy treatment specific, and it’s worth seeking out the absolute best medical opinion of that. Conventional therapy may not have the tools, experience or prescribing abilities to help. My ex was bipolar, so I’ve got some personal experience there.
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Post by jablonski on Dec 21, 2021 12:34:39 GMT
Best advice there would be to get a referral to a psychologist if you haven’t already. Broadly speaking, therapists don’t (and in some instances shouldn’t) diagnose. The reason that matters is bipolar can be extremely medication or psychotherapy treatment specific, and it’s worth seeking out the absolute best medical opinion of that. Conventional therapy may not have the tools, experience or prescribing abilities to help. My ex was bipolar, so I’ve got some personal experience there. Thanks Gremmi. That's very helpful |
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Post by Jambowayoh on Dec 21, 2021 12:45:03 GMT
I hope you're all kind to yourself this Christmas, I know especially that this period of time can be the hardest for some. We're all here for support whenever you need.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2021 14:18:35 GMT
Best advice there would be to get a referral to a psychologist if you haven’t already. Broadly speaking, therapists don’t (and in some instances shouldn’t) diagnose. The reason that matters is bipolar can be extremely medication or psychotherapy treatment specific, and it’s worth seeking out the absolute best medical opinion of that. Conventional therapy may not have the tools, experience or prescribing abilities to help. My ex was bipolar, so I’ve got some personal experience there. Thanks Gremmi. That's very helpful What Gremmi said. I don't know the first thing about bipolar and even if I did, there's no way you can diagnose someone online from a couple of paragraphs. You need to speak at length to someone who knows what they're on about for that. |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 21, 2021 15:52:10 GMT
Thanks Gremmi. That's very helpful What Gremmi said. I don't know the first thing about bipolar and even if I did, there's no way you can diagnose someone online from a couple of paragraphs. You need to speak at length to someone who knows what they're on about for that. i'd agree, tbh |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 21, 2021 15:52:55 GMT
I hope you're all kind to yourself this Christmas, I know especially that this period of time can be the hardest for some. We're all here for support whenever you need. cheers, pal, i hope you & yours have a good one too |
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Post by Techno Hippy on Dec 21, 2021 16:04:48 GMT
If you've been o9n Citalopram for 10 years plus then you'll probably need to go onto different medication as the your body acclimatises to it. I had a similar issue last year.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2021 16:06:59 GMT
I hope you're all kind to yourself this Christmas, I know especially that this period of time can be the hardest for some. We're all here for support whenever you need. cheers, pal, i hope you & yours have a good one too I'm trying (my wife says I'm very trying). Full of cold (in bed with a dressing gown on) and trying to do Silver Cloud. I've found my anxiety is waning as I think my brain is getting used to the shock I got a couple of weeks ago. I'm also drinking lots of water and trying to get enough sleep. Would love to exercise, but can't at the moment. It's going to be an effort getting to the loo when this water kicks in. 🙂 Tomorrow I'm supposed to be popping round to my neighbor to set up his Stadia. He's just had his mum's funeral after years of looking after her like Quaddy. |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 21, 2021 17:00:16 GMT
If you've been o9n Citalopram for 10 years plus then you'll probably need to go onto different medication as the your body acclimatises to it. I had a similar issue last year. aye, this is a good point - i've had to review a few times, citalopram probably only sufficed for 5 years or so |
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Post by jablonski on Dec 22, 2021 10:11:18 GMT
If you've been o9n Citalopram for 10 years plus then you'll probably need to go onto different medication as the your body acclimatises to it. I had a similar issue last year. I'll look into that. Tried to make an appointment with the doctor to be greeted with a message saying "you can no longer book appointments until further notice". Ok then. I'll wait for Covid to blow over shall I |
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Post by Reviewer on Dec 22, 2021 12:17:31 GMT
Can you go through 111 to get an appointment?
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 22, 2021 12:24:56 GMT
111 were very good at referral when my sister had to get onto them for me - they can contact the necessary people
you should also be able to self-refer to your local mental health assessment team is another possibility - obv the docs is the other way, but getting a face to face is beyond possible these days, can't remember the last time i actually saw mine
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Post by Techno Hippy on Dec 22, 2021 13:39:41 GMT
If you've been o9n Citalopram for 10 years plus then you'll probably need to go onto different medication as the your body acclimatises to it. I had a similar issue last year. I'll look into that. Tried to make an appointment with the doctor to be greeted with a message saying "you can no longer book appointments until further notice". Ok then. I'll wait for Covid to blow over shall I If you feel like to might hurt yourself then go to a hospital immediately, they can help in the short term. Don't do what I did and just end up there anyway. |
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Post by Danno on Dec 24, 2021 19:28:59 GMT
Hey Kids. Feel free to PM me over Xmas. It's a time of year I personally struggle with for various reasons and I know I'm not alone in that. If you want a chat over messages here, or a little gaming sesh on PC/PS5 (with or without voice chat), or anything else I might be able to help with then just holler. From Friday it's just me and Ms Danno over the next couple of weeks so you won't be imposing on any commitments that I can't postpone. Reiterative bump. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2021 19:43:20 GMT
Hey Kids. Feel free to PM me over Xmas. It's a time of year I personally struggle with for various reasons and I know I'm not alone in that. If you want a chat over messages here, or a little gaming sesh on PC/PS5 (with or without voice chat), or anything else I might be able to help with then just holler. From Friday it's just me and Ms Danno over the next couple of weeks so you won't be imposing on any commitments that I can't postpone. Reiterative bump. You'd be more use than my dad was today. He dropped off cards for us and I got the "man up speech" from him, complete with being told it was my decision to be like I am, which was less than helpful. He also told me the online course I've started doing was pointless. Lucky my dad is such a leading light in the psychological world... Or at least is a large part of why I've got issues. |
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Post by Danno on Dec 24, 2021 19:57:52 GMT
You'd be more use than my dad was today. He dropped off cards for us and I got the "man up speech" from him, complete with being told it was my decision to be like I am, which was less than helpful. He also told me the online course I've started doing was pointless. Lucky my dad is such a leading light in the psychological world... Or at least is a large part of why I've got issues. Aye Daddy issues (specifically the lack of one) has been something my therapists have homed in on. I assume he won't listen to "it's 2021, we're allowed to let it out rather than beating our wives/sinking into alcoholism/working relentlessly/committing adultery/buying a convertible"? (Delete as applicable) |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2021 19:59:14 GMT
It's hit me particularly hard today, but I'm not a talk and share my feelings type, so I'm just gonna try to man up like Witchking Sr. suggested.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 24, 2021 20:00:57 GMT
You'd be more use than my dad was today. He dropped off cards for us and I got the "man up speech" from him, complete with being told it was my decision to be like I am, which was less than helpful. He also told me the online course I've started doing was pointless. Lucky my dad is such a leading light in the psychological world... Or at least is a large part of why I've got issues. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2021 20:08:23 GMT
It's hit me particularly hard today, but I'm not a talk and share my feelings type, so I'm just gonna try to man up like Witchking Sr. suggested. Witchking SR was a warrant officer in the army and then worked on the oil rigs. He drank a lot and wasn't and obviously still isn't the best dad ever. Worst thing has been recognising elements of him in myself. Oh and he did the adultery thing. While my mum was pregnant. Talking to him is pointless as I then get the "if you think you know better... I'm your father... I'm older than you... Etc etc. Anyway at my wife says, I'll just ignore him. |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 24, 2021 20:27:55 GMT
Hey Kids. Feel free to PM me over Xmas. It's a time of year I personally struggle with for various reasons and I know I'm not alone in that. If you want a chat over messages here, or a little gaming sesh on PC/PS5 (with or without voice chat), or anything else I might be able to help with then just holler. From Friday it's just me and Ms Danno over the next couple of weeks so you won't be imposing on any commitments that I can't postpone. Reiterative bump. cheers, pal - starting to get difficult this evening, good to know someone's there x have the best christmas you can, everyone x |
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Post by Sarfrin on Dec 24, 2021 20:54:34 GMT
It's hit me particularly hard today, but I'm not a talk and share my feelings type, so I'm just gonna try to man up like Witchking Sr. suggested. Witchking SR was a warrant officer in the army and then worked on the oil rigs. He drank a lot and wasn't and obviously still isn't the best dad ever. Worst thing has been recognising elements of him in myself. Oh and he did the adultery thing. While my mum was pregnant. Talking to him is pointless as I then get the "if you think you know better... I'm your father... I'm older than you... Etc etc. Anyway at my wife says, I'll just ignore him. I know he's your dad, but he sounds like a real prick. |
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Post by cubby on Dec 24, 2021 22:05:01 GMT
Yeah he just sounds like a burden on your life
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2021 23:36:46 GMT
Both right. I'm done with him. All he's ever done is knock me back, physically and mentally. Little wonder I have bugger all self confidence, despite all the things I've done.
Anyway, I'm also more than happy to help if anyone needs an ear. Can't sort my own stuff out, but other people's is different and I got training as a counselor years ago... Though as it was years ago, there was nothing about "if you get a pm on a forum" 🙂
Happy Christmas everyone and thanks for helping me get this far in this decrepit excuse for a body.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 25, 2021 12:39:45 GMT
merry christmas to everyone in this thread - thanks for being there this year, this thread is definitely one of the places that keeps me going x
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Post by RadicalRex on Dec 25, 2021 14:11:07 GMT
Just wanted to put this down to see what people think. I've suffered from clinical depression all my adult life (including teens). I've tried therapists but I'm wary and don't tend to open up very well. I've been on Citalopram for 10 years now. 5 years ago I got a good therapist through a local NHS programme, but unfortunately she quit after a bit and went private. A year later I tracked her down and did 10 private sessions with her, but sadly she got MI and had to stop working (hope it wasn't me). But one thing she said in the last session - she thinks I might not have depression, but rather BiPolar disorder. Now this rings true with me, as I can still go out and socialise when I want - depression rarely stops me doing that anymore. And people think I'm a good party person to be out with. And yes, alcohol is always there and I know it will transport me to a 'better' version of me. BUT, in life - over the last 10 years, I've just stopped feeling joy in anything. I have no hobbies or interests anymore (apart from watching films, which is just another way of transporting me away from me). I used to like cameras and lenses etc, but no I just think - 'whats the point'. I don't bother doing art anymore, or galleries anymore. It all seems totally pointless. Work I've started to totally resent. I've quit 3 jobs in two years, blaming the type of clients etc. But I'm starting to realise I'm just not invested anymore. I don't care about it at all. Has anyone else got experience of Bi-Polar? Does any of this sound familiar? First of all, diagnoses of these things are difficult. I've been first diagnosed with unipolar depressive, then rediagnosed with bipolar 2, then rediagnosed again with emotionally unstable disorder, this is in question again now and currently I'm being tested for being on the autism spectrum. My psychiatrist is very careful with these categorisations, in many cases there are no clear-cut borders, and he says that generally one doesn't make a personal disorder diagnosis while you're suffering a depressive phase or are on meds. First of all, and I want to be very clear on this, I am absolutely not qualified to give you a diagnosis or even comment on one. The only thing I can say is that TO ME PERSONALLY what you describe doesn't sound bipolar. Bipolar means you should have cycles of depression and euphoria, but you say that over the last 10 years you stopped feeling joy in anything. Bipolar 1 means you'd have cycles of extreme euphoria, leading you to do foolish things like selling your house in order to go on a world tour, things like that. Bipolar 2 means that you're more heavily leaning on the depressive side but still have phases of "hypomanic" euphoria in which you are more energetic than a "normie". If you don't have hi-NRG phases and have been pretty constantly on the down side over the last 10 years, TO ME that doesn't sound bipolar. TO ME, what you tell sounds "just" depressive. But again, I'm just sharing thoughts here, based on my knowledge and based on just that one post you posted. I am in no way qualified to give or question a diagnosis. What I do want to say is (and I believe that's in line with what my psychiatrist would say) is that there may be no simple answer and maybe you can't be pigeonholed into a category like that. Everyone's an individual with their individual issues. The pigeonholes can help to direct treatment, but they're not the be all and end all that everyone can be clearly categorised in. |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2021 14:28:24 GMT
My anxiety tried very hard to take over during the cooking. I think my brain was saying "Christmas is over, now you've got to face the world" and thought the best way to do this was pump adrenaline through my body whenever anything remotely mentioned things going wrong or money or anything else my squirrel like brain wanted to fixate on and see as a possible threat.
I know I'm tired and I also know I'm still unwell and I know that these feelings aren't me and that they will pass. My wife was supportive and after a quick nap, I should be a lot better.
If you do have any wobbles, remember that this is a stressful time where we expect too much of ourselves. It's okay to say you're struggling a little bit it will pass and you'll be back to you afterwards. I need to take some "me" time as I've been focused on everyone else the last couple of days.
We're all still here though, so that's a positive. 🙂
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