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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 11:30:53 GMT
I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask but its always been a supportive one. I mentioned the other day in the covid thread that my wife is on a bit of an anxiety spiral. Usually I can ride them out, support her and it passes fairly quickly. This time its a bit of a heavy one and its manifesting as health anxiety, specifically around the kid. Nursery had put in their daily update that he was a bit clingy today so she’s pulled him out for the next two. He seems fine but I feel like pushing back might make things worse for her. Anyone got experience of being the partner of someone with anxiety/depression or similar? my wife suffered with depression/anxiety and ocd, so i can understand how you feel - health anxiety about your kids is a terrible one, we had it with our daughter for a long time - kidney problems/constant utis as a little one then anxiety/depression/ideation as a teenager/young adult...can be so difficult to find a balance all you can be is supportive - i think you're right in that 'pushing back' can aggravate the situation, especially when it's so fresh and raw...perhaps something to discuss further down the line - is she aware of her anxieties and how they contribute? i think fox above has a point as well about the whole atmosphere surrounding covid has affected many people's health anxieties |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 11:31:41 GMT
which ones have you moved to, out of interest? if you don't mind me asking... I don’t mind at all. It’s Fluoxetine - I’m on a fairly low dosage to start with. So far so good. Sertraline gave me wicked insomnia amongst other side effects and while I’m waking up at odd hours I’m at least getting to sleep easy enough. thanks pal, think that's the only one i haven't tried yet, always interesting to hear others' experiences with the different meds |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 11:40:30 GMT
update of sorts - had the new assessment with the therapy team this morning...turns out i was discharged after the first assessment in september...not that anyone told me, i was told it would be left open until the mdt had met...no matter, at least things are moving now
the stepped approach seems to have changed somewhat - 1st step is now either zoom workshops, or online therapy through something called 'silvercloud', which gives ongoing online access to a therapist as well as weekly sessions...sounds not unlike what my daughter does privately through 'pridecounselling', which i think is an american-based system...only gives 6 sessions, which i know won't be enough, but then with the 2nd step being the more traditional 1:1 counselling/therapy before they break the big guns out...interestingly, what it means in practice is that the wait for the 1st step is only approx 2 weeks, rather than the old 6-12 months wait (i assume the wait for step 2 will be more like this - they've obviously brought this other step in as a 'stop-gap')
knowing myself and the situation i'm in, i'll be at least step 2, if not further, but it's something...an it's something fairly sharpish, which was my worry as i'm going nowhere but down atm...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2021 14:19:47 GMT
Hiya Dr.
You've been given the same as me. I've just logged onto Silvercloud this morning. I've also been told that at the end of 6 weeks they'll talk to me and give me the option of 1-1 with a counselor. I've been told there won't be a long wait and it should be almost straight away.
I've not finished the logging in yet (got caught up with work stuff) but I'll give it a go and see where it takes me. I was told that this option gave me more treatment options (they're are two treatment methods within the CBT package, whereas the one to one only has one).
Good luck with it.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 15:04:34 GMT
ah, that's handy to know, thanks pal - must be their new approach gives me someone to copy my homework from, then...  |
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2021 17:22:03 GMT
Been really bad the last few weeks. Hitting the beer hard, work gone insane, lonely and miserable. Just been having non stop panic attacks, last one in the pub which was really embarrassing. A week ago was supposed to fly to Thailand and just could not force myself onto the plane so lost £1000 of holiday...
Missed the last of the f1 due to having an attack, think that was the last straw. Booked emergency with doctor today. Am off the beer for 2 weeks, have diazapam, beta blockers, sleeping pills... really interested to see how the next few weeks go. Being off the beer and avoiding all Christmas parties etc seems counterproductive, but at some point I need to sort my shit out.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 17:47:12 GMT
ah, shit news - here for you if you need it, pal
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2021 18:07:35 GMT
Really sorry to hear that. Can you not claim back your holiday costs on your insurance? If they get funny, you can get a letter from your doctor confirming that you're now being treated for anxiety.
As for alcohol, it feels like it is helping, bit it's not. It's a depressant and not just when you're drinking it. It also becomes a crutch which you end up not being able to cope without (or at least that's how you feel). Hopefully your doctor covered this, bit if you're a heavy drinker and weren't honest with them, then be careful coming off the stuff as it can shock your body if you're dependant on it.
I'm glad you've seen someone and are getting help. The pills will help give you a break until you can get some coping mechanisms in place.
Take care and remember you've taken the first step to getting better.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2021 18:17:03 GMT
I've just done the Silvercloud intro. It's not perfect and I found myself wondering how this would help, but I'll do it every day and see what happens.
Seems you have to journal, note your mood, meditate and be aware of yourself in the moment and do a mood cycle each day. On top of that, there's learning of modules, with the first being depression. I think the help comes from doing the daily exercises from what I can see. People say it's more work than they expected. Bit daunting, but it's taken a long time for me to get this mentally fucked up, so it will take a while to get unfucked.
Been a tough day. I've been on leave, yet had to be working so I could pass on information regarding the consultations and answer and pass on questions. This afternoon I wrapped presents. I've not eaten enough, nor drunk enough and I don't feel like I've been on leave at all so far. I need to meditate and get a meal. Tomorrow is more present wrapping before the kids are back home for good.
Feel anxious almost all the time. Also feel very low and also guilty for being like this. I feel I should be doing more and should be looking for work, but I need to do this consultation stuff and other jobs (like parish council minutes which I need to write up tonight) and I'm not sleeping properly. I also need to exercise. Sadly my needs have been secondary to others so far.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 14, 2021 18:33:32 GMT
sounds much like i expected - at least it'll give me something to fill my days with but not massively different from a lot of the self-help stuff out there noting my daily mood cycle will be easy enough... be good to yourself, pal - you shouldn't feel guilty for being like this and, having ended up like this partly because of being in a carer role for so long, i think when time is spent putting yourself last and being 'secondary', only serves to magnify that guilt when you start putting yourself first - there are lots of little positives in there (and, yes, i know i should practise what i preach sometimes...) |
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Post by simple on Dec 14, 2021 20:30:42 GMT
I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask but its always been a supportive one. I mentioned the other day in the covid thread that my wife is on a bit of an anxiety spiral. Usually I can ride them out, support her and it passes fairly quickly. This time its a bit of a heavy one and its manifesting as health anxiety, specifically around the kid. Nursery had put in their daily update that he was a bit clingy today so she’s pulled him out for the next two. He seems fine but I feel like pushing back might make things worse for her. Anyone got experience of being the partner of someone with anxiety/depression or similar? my wife suffered with depression/anxiety and ocd, so i can understand how you feel - health anxiety about your kids is a terrible one, we had it with our daughter for a long time - kidney problems/constant utis as a little one then anxiety/depression/ideation as a teenager/young adult...can be so difficult to find a balance all you can be is supportive - i think you're right in that 'pushing back' can aggravate the situation, especially when it's so fresh and raw...perhaps something to discuss further down the line - is she aware of her anxieties and how they contribute? i think fox above has a point as well about the whole atmosphere surrounding covid has affected many people's health anxieties Sorry I was holding off replying until I had time to properly think. Thank you for this response. I think its tied into lack of sleep here. Suddenly every cough or imperfect day is meningitis or trip or fall a serious injury. This week I’ve just roped in all the grandparents because childcare is pretty draining right now. Plus I’ve already hit my work absence trigger for the academic year taking days off for this. She’s mostly fine but the dips are hard. |
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Post by crispyxuk on Dec 14, 2021 22:09:35 GMT
For me it’s always lake of sleep. Was a heavy drug user when dealing with my mum, on some sleeping pills and taken time out of work has done me wonders
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2021 20:53:17 GMT
Was hit by a migraine earlier today. In almost no time at all, I went from fine to angry to pits of depression where I stayed for a couple of hours. All because some sodding chemicals did or didn't go where they were / weren't supposed to because of whatever the migraine did. It's really hard work going through the things and trying to remember that it's not me and it'll pass.
I'm not sure what caused it. Maybe because I relaxed and watched some TV. Whatever it is, it can just pack it in, as I'm sick of it.
Anyway, I'm back to whatever normal is, so that's something.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2021 13:28:56 GMT
I've been doing the Silver Cloud program every day and I think its got potential. Its a little unclear in parts as to what I need to do, but I'm getting there.
Each day I need to look at my moods, the causes of them and to journal' Alongside that I need to look at mindfulness and work through the course material.
I'm also looking at exercise / some sort of physical activity each day and drinking water and trying to eat properly. I think that is as important as anything and is something that I need to work on.
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Post by crispyxuk on Dec 18, 2021 1:11:06 GMT
Big step for me next week as I’ve asked my friend and his son if they would come to the cinema with me to watch spiderman.
I was never a fan of cinemas before my issues but since they started (first film was rogue one) I always had to watch near the exit. I’ve only seen the other Star Wars sequels since, by myself at times I know it won’t be crowded.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 18, 2021 13:07:15 GMT
I've been doing the Silver Cloud program every day and I think its got potential. Its a little unclear in parts as to what I need to do, but I'm getting there. Each day I need to look at my moods, the causes of them and to journal' Alongside that I need to look at mindfulness and work through the course material. I'm also looking at exercise / some sort of physical activity each day and drinking water and trying to eat properly. I think that is as important as anything and is something that I need to work on. interesting to hear your thoughts on it - will give me something to do anyway... |
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Post by quadfather on Dec 18, 2021 15:18:46 GMT
Didn't know where else to post this, but I need to write it down.
Mum has now passed after 6 long years of a non-cognitive severe alzheimers disease. At the impressive age of 92.
It's been so long coming and it's both upsetting and a relief. Though it's going to be a delayed hit for me, as I'm currently indifferent to it. I know that will change but am just going to go with whatever emotion crops up.
I'm now an orphan. I never thought I'd ever say that! How odd.
Anyway, rip mum. You were a blinder.
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Post by Blackmarsh63 on Dec 18, 2021 15:22:23 GMT
Sorry for your loss mate.  |
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 18, 2021 15:33:25 GMT
ah, pal, sorry for your loss - big hugs from here xxx
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2021 16:18:08 GMT
Sorry to hear that Quaddy.
Here if you need to let off steam or anything.
Take care of yourself and I hope she's in a better place.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2021 16:24:10 GMT
Sorry, quaddy. 😔
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2021 17:11:23 GMT
So sorry to read that man. Most sincere condolences to you and your sisters. Thinking of you chief.
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Post by Dougs on Dec 18, 2021 17:51:43 GMT
Sorry for your loss Quaddy.
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Post by Danno on Dec 18, 2021 22:07:15 GMT
Sorry Quaddy:(
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EMarkM
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Post by EMarkM on Dec 20, 2021 17:58:03 GMT
Sorry to hear this after all this time, Quaddy.
If you ever want to talk, feel free.
Look after yourself, old friend.
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Dec 20, 2021 18:47:21 GMT
That sucks, take care Quadster
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Post by Danno on Dec 20, 2021 19:40:14 GMT
Hey Kids.
Feel free to PM me over Xmas. It's a time of year I personally struggle with for various reasons and I know I'm not alone in that.
If you want a chat over messages here, or a little gaming sesh on PC/PS5 (with or without voice chat), or anything else I might be able to help with then just holler. From Friday it's just me and Ms Danno over the next couple of weeks so you won't be imposing on any commitments that I can't postpone.
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Post by crispyxuk on Dec 20, 2021 19:40:55 GMT
Didn't know where else to post this, but I need to write it down. Mum has now passed after 6 long years of a non-cognitive severe alzheimers disease. At the impressive age of 92. It's been so long coming and it's both upsetting and a relief. Though it's going to be a delayed hit for me, as I'm currently indifferent to it. I know that will change but am just going to go with whatever emotion crops up. I'm now an orphan. I never thought I'd ever say that! How odd. Anyway, rip mum. You were a blinder. sorry for your loss, my mum has had it for 10 years now and I’ve been indifferent to the idea of her not being around for half of that - don’t feel bad about it. |
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Post by jeepers on Dec 20, 2021 19:46:01 GMT
I’m sorry for your loss Quad. Take care.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2021 19:47:08 GMT
Thanks Danno and likewise.
Just me and the family for the next two weeks. I'm full of cold at the moment and not feeling the least bit festive.
Hope everyone in this thread does as well as the can over this period and they don't put any pressure on themselves.
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