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Post by MadCaddy on Nov 12, 2021 16:09:07 GMT
It’s actually almost 10 years ago today I had my series of panic attacks caused by anxiety and depression. I’ll never forget the date. It still affects me to this day but those first few years affected numerous occasions such as holidays and nights out etc. Every time I was feeling bad, I always had a word in my mind - ‘endure’. Just get through this day because the next might be better. And for me thankfully, they did get better
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Post by Danno on Dec 11, 2021 0:44:40 GMT
Bump. Just so it's available
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 12, 2021 14:56:58 GMT
rang through to the therapy team this week to see what the timescale is as i can access support through my wife's place of work if there's a delay....the therapy team hadn't had a referral for me from the mental hospital even though the MDT agreed the referral 3 weeks ago....! got to go trhough the whole assessment malarkey again, even though i've done it once...fucking hell....
luckily, i was able to do a self-referral when i rang them, but means i have to wait for the assessment etc all over again, when i thought i was a couple of months into the waiting list...no wonder mental health is such an issue in this country - if someone with a severe deperessive disorder, suicidal ideation etc can just be 'forgotten'...certainly not a good system when i've had to chase up absolutely everything related to it, once they assumed i wasn't going to kill myself there & then
right royally fucked off, and christmas can do one as well...
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 12, 2021 16:21:56 GMT
Sadly it varies a lot on where you are in the country. There's been so many funding cuts. The important thing is that you followed it up as this shows you want to work on your situation and are asserting yourself. Do try to enjoy Christmas in some way - at least do something you enjoy or find relaxing if you can. The help will come, eventually
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 12, 2021 16:33:41 GMT
aye, desperate, isn't it? it's not the souls on the ground i blame - i know from my wife's work as a counsellor how fucked the system is
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Post by Jambowayoh on Dec 12, 2021 16:39:19 GMT
I feel you on this one, when I was going through depression after cancer I did ask my care team for a referral to a counsellor. They did the referral and I heard nothing, got my own private counsellor but about 8 months after my asking care team I enquired about it and apparently I just got lost in the system and essentially forgotten about, and they referred me again and got a counsellor effectively 11 months after asking. I wonder how many people are getting lost. It's awful.
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Post by Techno Hippy on Dec 12, 2021 16:46:22 GMT
Similar timescales for me, fortunately I'd made some changes in my life and medication that had a decent impact by the time the CBT team got in touch with me.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 12, 2021 16:52:53 GMT
horrific
as i say, luckily i can access it via mrs hcnip's old workplace - i'll just go straight back in with the one i had for bereavement counselling...i just think of all the poor souls out there who don't have access to that sort of thing, or don't have the ability to chase things up...
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 12, 2021 17:50:52 GMT
I don't know what your situation is, but maybe you could find some way to support people in situations like that. It might give you something to focus on and feel good about
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 12, 2021 18:15:39 GMT
aye, had crossed my mind for the future...currently, i count myself lucky if i bother waking up in the morning...
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Post by rawshark on Dec 12, 2021 23:30:34 GMT
I’m trying out some new meds after bouncing hard off surtraline a year or so back. Got to wait a while to see the effects but so far the only difference I’m finding is I wake up at 4am without fail and have to potter about a bit before going back to bed.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 13, 2021 1:46:30 GMT
which ones have you moved to, out of interest? if you don't mind me asking...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 8:30:24 GMT
I might take my doctor up on the anti depressants he's got ready for me. I'm not really depressed, but my anxiety is through the roof and my desire to no longer be here is very strong too (but won't happen because of family).
I'm just not sure what I can do myself without pills as I've not faced something like this before. Meditation isn't doing it, or exercise. I'm just getting adrenaline going through me if I think about work or finances or my family or seemingly anything. If I try and relax, I think I should be working on finding another job or getting my skills up or trying to get better. I'm just a wreck.
At the moment, I think my plan is to finish the stress in the workplace course I'm doing. Then start the CBT for anxiety. Then see how they goes on to of exercising, being on leave and mindfulness. Just wish I didn't have collective consultations in the midst of the leave.
I also need to ensure I'm drinking enough water, eating enough and getting the nutrients I need and the sleep I need. The last week I've not had enough of any of them, so that might be contributing to the anxiety. I need to get that under control so I can think straight. My concern about ADs is that so far they have never worked for me and the only impact I get is whatever the side effects are. I don't want to be going through those on top of everything else right now.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 8:35:20 GMT
I think, a couple of days of eating properly, being properly hydrated, doing all the other self care stuff and work on the courses and then re-evaluate. If I'm still a mess, then ring my doctor.
First I have to check if it's biological or not. I think.
It's not helped that we're paid a fortnight in advance and they've let slip that date will change in the new role. So I've got three months to save half my salary as you tend to get used to a certain pay day after several years. I don't have a lot of spare money each month, especially this time of year. Max I have is probably half of what I need to be able to save that much.
Anyway, writing this out has helped. I need to meditate, then eat and get some water. I've been eating only one meal a day for the last week.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 13, 2021 8:40:11 GMT
it's such a frigging melting pot of possibilities isn't it? and recognising some things aren't working for you can only muddle things further how long is the stress in the workplace course lasting for? i assume any cbt will be a long time coming - i found solace at one point in my first breakdown with this, which gives some structure/purpose if nothing else - www.amazon.co.uk/Little-CBT-Workbook-Michael-Sinclair/dp/185458670X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1AE3WJZFAZSR0&keywords=little+cbt+workbook&qid=1639384647&sprefix=littl+cbt+workbook%2Caps%2C188&sr=8-1you're right that all the lifestyle things are contributing factors, i know they are with me too but i lack the energy/impetus/finances/whatever to deal with them right now and i can empathise with you on the 'desire' thing as well - i've never struggled with ideation as much as i have in the last 6 months but my daughter keeps me here...big hugs, fella, i hope you find the path that works for you
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 8:57:01 GMT
Stress in the work place course I intend finishing today. I am tempted to bin it off as it's not essential, but I've nearly finished it and some of it is helpful.
The CBT course I've been sent (was sent over almost at the same time as my incorrect redundancy note. I've just not looked at it as I've been focused on the job issue and then taking apart a bit. I'm going to aim to look at that today. IAPT in my area at least were very quick after I self referred. I was even offered 1 to 1 counseling.
I've also got a book on the trans diagnostic course I did a couple of years ago. So I can do that too. I'll get there, as will you. I also need to check what I'm eating as it's been junk this last week and that will be screwing my mood up too.
I take our posts as positives. We're both able to start thinking what we need to do rather than reacting and curling up in a ball. That's a good thing. I'm going to take it steady so I don't overdo things and knock myself back. I also don't want to change too many things (pills for instance) before I confirm this isn't largely because my brain is starved of water / food / sleep / minerals / whatever.
Right. Meditate and then breakfast. I'll take a look at that book, but I broke at the moment, so it will have to wait, but thanks.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 9:03:11 GMT
Tldr try a self referral to your local IAPT. I heard back in two or three days and has a call and action plan within a week.
As for the desire stuff (which I'm averse to discussing here), I've been worse, so I know I can handle this. It makes no one's life better. Trust me on that and put it out your mind. Happy to be PM'd if you ever need.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 13, 2021 9:24:59 GMT
same to you, pal the iapt referral is what the mhat failed to do after the mdt, so i set up my own (again) as they'd closed the previous assessment - got that phone call tomorrow, as well as the next occ health call you're right, though, even posting here is positive my wife's main job in her place of work was as a counsellor within their suicide support programme so at least i know i'm in good hands with them in the meantime...
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 13, 2021 9:37:00 GMT
also, i bear in mind that my recognition that my suicidal ideation is on the increase is a sign of the new meds kicking in....can't do much about knocking them on the head just yet, but at least i can identify them and box them off, which is a step in the right direction
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 9:48:10 GMT
Good that you can recognise what you've got and what is contributing to issues. It's also good that you're able to do things to help yourself.
One of the main things I get from meditation is an increased awareness that "my" emotions and feelings aren't mine at all. They're just a combination of chemicals slushing about inside me and largely due to the crap I've been eating and the way I've been living.
It's not me that is scared right now. It's an over active amygdala aided and abetted by a gut that's messed up it's happy chemical supply because I've messed up feeding it properly. It's more complicated than that, but I've certainly not been helping things.
Anyway, meditation done. Breakfast eaten. Water poured. Multivitamin and mineral taken.
We can do this. One step at a time.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 13, 2021 9:55:11 GMT
amen to that
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Post by rawshark on Dec 13, 2021 12:01:48 GMT
which ones have you moved to, out of interest? if you don't mind me asking... I don’t mind at all. It’s Fluoxetine - I’m on a fairly low dosage to start with. So far so good. Sertraline gave me wicked insomnia amongst other side effects and while I’m waking up at odd hours I’m at least getting to sleep easy enough.
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Post by Danno on Dec 13, 2021 13:01:37 GMT
which ones have you moved to, out of interest? if you don't mind me asking... I don’t mind at all. It’s Fluoxetine - I’m on a fairly low dosage to start with. So far so good. Sertraline gave me wicked insomnia amongst other side effects and while I’m waking up at odd hours I’m at least getting to sleep easy enough. Sertraline kicked the shit out of me. No sleep, my ding dong did a disappearing act, 2 weeks of nausea and it sent me even further into the pit. Not fun. It took a month to convince the Doc it wasn't agreeing with me
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Post by rawshark on Dec 13, 2021 17:47:28 GMT
I don’t mind at all. It’s Fluoxetine - I’m on a fairly low dosage to start with. So far so good. Sertraline gave me wicked insomnia amongst other side effects and while I’m waking up at odd hours I’m at least getting to sleep easy enough. Sertraline kicked the shit out of me. No sleep, my ding dong did a disappearing act, 2 weeks of nausea and it sent me even further into the pit. Not fun. It took a month to convince the Doc it wasn't agreeing with me I’m glad you mentioned the ding dong because it made it damn near impossible for me to um… finish.
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Post by damagedinc on Dec 13, 2021 17:50:19 GMT
Sertraline kicked the shit out of me. No sleep, my ding dong did a disappearing act, 2 weeks of nausea and it sent me even further into the pit. Not fun. It took a month to convince the Doc it wasn't agreeing with me I’m glad you mentioned the ding dong because it made it damn near impossible for me to um… finish. Yup me too. However I've been on it for a while now and seem to have over(ahem) come that. I wonder if sertraline is just not working for me now. On 150 a day and still feel crap more often than not. Had my first CBT session today and I'm not sure
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Post by simple on Dec 13, 2021 19:51:56 GMT
I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask but its always been a supportive one.
I mentioned the other day in the covid thread that my wife is on a bit of an anxiety spiral. Usually I can ride them out, support her and it passes fairly quickly. This time its a bit of a heavy one and its manifesting as health anxiety, specifically around the kid. Nursery had put in their daily update that he was a bit clingy today so she’s pulled him out for the next two. He seems fine but I feel like pushing back might make things worse for her.
Anyone got experience of being the partner of someone with anxiety/depression or similar?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2021 21:28:05 GMT
My wife's got plenty of experience sadly, but I haven't I'm afraid.
What exactly are you wanting advice on? If you should say 'you're worrying over nothing, he's fine, it's you. Put him back in" (but less direct)?
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H-alphaFox
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Post by H-alphaFox on Dec 13, 2021 22:45:50 GMT
Don't push back.
2 days with the kid is a mothers choice. Let her have it unless it means time off work sort of thing and even then I'd approach with extreme caution. Plus given the current state of the pandemic it will help reassure her which I'd bet is probably where a large part of that anxiety is coming from.
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Post by simple on Dec 13, 2021 23:44:12 GMT
Probably should’ve said, I’m the one who has to stay off work to watch the kid. Which is fine but its exhausting having it all channelled through him when she’s having a bad time. No blame or anything, just thinking aloud there’s gotta be something I can do better during the deep dives.
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Post by Dougs on Dec 14, 2021 7:06:58 GMT
My wife is similar with health anxiety, especially the kids. The other week, my son had a sore throat, no Biggie. A week later he was complaining it wasn't right, took a look and looked like oral thrush (which we had some cream for, job done). Next thing, she's convinced he's diabetic, because he's also being a bit challenging at the moment (I suspect undiagnosed ADHD is playing a role here). Generally I try to just be the voice of reason, not belittle or mock and bring things back to Occam's razor. Usually works but can be quite exhausting.
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