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Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2024 14:36:22 GMT
Cheers guys.. think it's been mentioned before but therapy probably the next step. From above sounds like meds can be equally as problematic which is why they're maybe reluctant. I just want to calm down!which is why alcohol is an issue. Managed to significantly step that back aswell at same time as starting the gym. So body probably in shock. Just all so exhausting It’s my view from my own experience with these anxiety meds* and from seeing friends and relatives on the likes of sertraline, Prozac etc that drugs don’t cure a mental ailment in the way a painkiller will ‘cure’ pain. They put you on a more even emotional keel that enables you to use other tools that without them you may feel unable to. It’s not something I’d write off completely and it is something I’d discuss with a qualified person. *Beta blockers aren’t an anxiety medication, they are used in that way to slow down the circulatory/adrenaline production side of things is my understanding. |
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Post by 😎 on Feb 7, 2024 16:36:10 GMT
Standard disclaimer here of all medication questions should be thoroughly discussed with professionals and any info given on the forum should be taken as purely anecdotal and not medical advice.
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Post by drhcnip on Feb 7, 2024 18:29:50 GMT
Still going round and round in circles with my stress/anxiety depression. I had some massive on set headache in October which I had scans for etc and got the all clear. I now have permanent tinitus. Bounced around trying different meds but back on sertraline 200mg. Doc is very reluctant to give me any medication for stress. Doesn't think it will help long term. Just feel like I need something to help when it's at its worse. Which is now 2 to 3 times a week. I've got back in the gym which is helping and cut my alcohol and caffeine. Just wondering if anyone else got any specific meds for stress/anxiety in combo with a anti depressant. They wanted to sign me off work but I am very reluctant to do that. Especially as work is ok and a good distraction sometimes. They spin it as it being one less thing to focus on. I’m on a combination of escitalopram, lofepramine and aripiprazole for intractable severe depression with associated anxiety and psychosis seems a good combo for me but obv the aripiprazole is irrelevant as the antipsychotic sertraline was my go to for years until it stopped working, tried mirtazapine for a bit but settled on escitalopram which seems good…for now…😂 |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2024 12:11:03 GMT
Really fucking fed up at the minute.
Definitely depressed, but I don’t think I am yet ‘in depression’, but am worried if the weight of stuff doesn’t lift that I end up there.
Ever just get a succession of like two or three things that becomes five things where individually you’d be like, well this is shit but I can take this action, or wait until this date and just endure it, but together it’s just all too much? That’s where I am and am not seeing a clear way out.
So to list it all -
1. Lots of minor and some major repairs issue with landlord and now entering complaints process.
2. Band has basically split up but seeking replacement members. Can’t be arsed, but some lineup of this band has existed for 10 years and there is a sense of loss. Best friend of 25 years is band leader and way more emotionally invested. Pissed off because I’ve said I’ll stick around for the process for 6 months or so max but will be reviewing it after that. He’s not happy with me putting a deadline on. I think it’s a hobby not a cult or a sentence. I walked away from it unresolved and am now avoiding the issue.
3. A bit skint.
4. Daughter keeps on having anxiety stuff on Sunday nights. I’ve checked the bullying angle. Am happy it’s likely not that. I think her weekend habits are too destructive from a sleep health perspective and that the fear of it happening again before school is keeping her up. This will result in her knocking loudly on our bedroom door at 3.30 am and then keeping us awake until half five or something. Three weeks of disturbed sleep and I’m knackered. It doesnt help.
5. This is the biggie and I can’t even have the catharsis of explaining it properly because of safeguarding and GDPR stuff. But yeah we’ve been involved by a party in something who has bothered us a couple of times and there’s ongoing stuff including the police turning up. Properly anxious about having blinds open and knocks on the door and stuff. We’ve done the right thing to report the safety of a vulnerable party but then got zero protection, advice or support in return. Things have been done that would quite possibly lead the potentially dangerous party to believe we’ve ‘grassed’ (which we have).
Bleeeiurgghhh.
I’ll be trying to address 4 starting tomorrow by getting her up at a reasonable time. Other half is very permissive with stuff and I’m more old fashioned but it’s not right that someone that young wants to sleep until nearly noon every weekend.
Again I’m convinced it’s not bullying and am reliably told from peers with kids of the same age that they are all at it given the chance.
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skalpadda
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Post by skalpadda on Mar 1, 2024 15:17:06 GMT
This is mostly getting things off my chest and gathering thoughts a little. It will probably turn into a massive wall of text (edit: It sure did) - feel free to scroll past. Nothing acute. It's mostly for me.
I'm not doing too badly, but I've been feeling myself slowly slipping over the past six months or so. Getting less and less joy or meaning out of things I usually like. Constantly putting things off, both important and trivial. Spending most of my free time just distracting myself until I can go to bed. Avoiding people.
I know where it leads and it's been life-ruining before. I'm older now and feel less able to "afford" crashing and spending months or a year - or two, or three - crawling my way back up. And I've never suffered much from seasonal depression so I can be pretty sure it won't just go away when the sun returns.
So for a change I'm trying the novel idea of doing something before it all goes to hell. I know I won't be able to do all the "shoulds", but I can do what I can rather than nothing. Focus on practical things. Doable, concrete things.
1. I got in contact with a psychiatrist late last year. It's actually been surprisingly fast getting to see a specialist. I know from experience that SSRIs don't do a thing for me (except give me anorgasmia or kill my sex drive entirely - not helpful). SNRIs made me feel like complete shit, both physically and mentally. Those are the only long term therapeutic drugs I've been offered before.
But now we're trying a mood stabiliser. I was a little skeptical as it's mainly an epilepsy medication that's also given to people with bipolar disorder (I'm definitely not bipolar). But it actually seems to be helping. It's not a massive difference and I'm not much "happier" as a whole, but I've had shallower dips. Haven't noticed any negative side effects at all so far.
I've also been on a low dose of ADHD medication (Concerta) for a long time and I've lowered that slightly more as it makes me a little more prone to anxiousness. It also suppresses appetite a bit and combined with depressive behavious making me put things off I've eaten less and been losing some weight. Not at a worrying pace (2kg/month on average) but I wasn't overweight and in the long run it could become a problem. I'm one of the lucky ones: my diagnosis is mainly based on a very large gap between high cognitive function and lower than average executive function. Symptoms aren't that severe and I don't have the hypertension part, so it's less concerning at the moment.
2. Get out more, get at least a tiny bit of regular exercise. I used to be good at this. I walked at least an hour every day and went on longer hikes at least every other weekend. I was in decent shape, but I've lapsed completely and don't go out much apart from work or necessities.
I live in a big city but have the luxury of a nice big forested area right outside my door. Two large nature reserves, a massive park and one of Europe's largest botanical gardens within easily walkable distance. Two more nature reserves just a short bus ride away. There are two outdoor gyms nearby.
I find regular gyms a nightmare and have no interest in sports, but I love the nature here. The weather is miserable now but it's not like I don't have good clothes for it. Spring is almost here and it's about to get lovely. I know that even light aerobic exercise helps a lot if it's regular, and it's all completely free and convenient. Not setting goals for quantity (I'll feel shit when I fail), just get the fuck out the door. Walk a little, stop by the outdoor gym for a few minutes. Anything is better than nothing.
3. I deleted almost all bookmarks to social media and news yesterday. Should have done it sooner. I've caught myself stuck in a loop of cycling through the same 4-5 websites over and over, just to find anything to keep myself distracted. Reading and watching things that give me nothing or make me feel worse. Putting off going to bed until I'm so tired I just pass out, because lying awake with my own thoughts even for a short while is scary. It's also turning me a little misanthropic - a feeling I absolutely hate. I have to stop.
Even for wasting time there are better things. I like reading books and comics, there are movies I want to watch, I haven't played guitar for months, I have good games to play.
4. Take better care of how I look. I'm not vain but not feeling ugly sure helps. I didn't get my hair cut for 5 months and frequently didn't keep my beard trimmed. I saw a troll in the mirror. I looked older. Finally got a haircut last week, fixed my beard properly and have been making an effort to wear nicer clothes. It does make a difference.
5. Be better at keeping in touch and spending time with friends. Don't think that needs much elaboration.
It's a lot easier to think and say smart, obvious things than it is to do them of course. I also know there's a gap between changing behaviour and actually feeling better. But at least I've got started.
edit: So many typos.
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Post by Danno on Mar 1, 2024 15:59:28 GMT
Keep it up Skal, and post away if you want to, even if there's only good news  |
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Post by Dougs on Mar 1, 2024 16:04:04 GMT
Yeah, looks like some very sensible steps to me.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Mar 1, 2024 16:09:55 GMT
Keep it up man.
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Post by quadfather on Mar 1, 2024 16:39:57 GMT
Yeah, some positive stuff going on there. Keep at it!
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ned
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Post by ned on Mar 1, 2024 16:43:16 GMT
Thanks for posting Skal, inspiring read and I hope you continue to make progress.
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skalpadda
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Post by skalpadda on Mar 1, 2024 16:51:22 GMT
Yeah, looks like some very sensible steps to me. Mostly standard stuff for depression and I know it helps eventually, if I do it, which is sometimes another matter. I had some properly bad years in my 20s (like hospitalised bad) and it's still terrifying to feel even a little like that. But it's been a lot better for well over a decade and my life is much more stable. It's not bad overall, and I feel significantly more sure of myself and able to deal with things.
And thanks, everyone. |
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Garfy
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Post by Garfy on Mar 1, 2024 17:00:43 GMT
I definitely need the haircut, I'm in full depressive hobo lookin mode right now.
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Post by damagedinc on Mar 1, 2024 18:29:49 GMT
Even being able to get on with one of those things can massively help. So fuck yeah for doing all that! As above inspirational and thankyou for sharing. Defo helps me think what more I could be doing. Or even something I may not have thought of.
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skalpadda
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Post by skalpadda on Mar 1, 2024 22:56:54 GMT
Even being able to get on with one of those things can massively help. So fuck yeah for doing all that! As above inspirational and thankyou for sharing. Defo helps me think what more I could be doing. Or even something I may not have thought of. I'm definitely not doing it all perfectly, and some I've only just started to work on seriously.
And I wouldn't recommend someone with severe depression try everything I listed all at once. For someone really struggling it might be hard enough getting out of bed and taking a shower, or watering the houseplants. Or throwing out the houseplants because they all died (been there).
I went back a little in the thread and saw you had some concerns about therapy earlier. I don't know if this is a thing everywhere, but here it's possible to get sessions for free with psychology students doing their final year. No personal experience, but I have friends who were very positive about it. Might at least be worth looking into if the cost is a concern. |
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Post by drhcnip on Mar 19, 2024 1:23:42 GMT
hope people are doing ok. Another rough patch here at the moment, severe depression kicking back in and lots of passive ideation. Starting to think the combo of meds I’m on at the moment are beginning to fade out in usefulness which is a fucking shame as I thought they were working ok …got the psych in a few weeks so thinking that’s a timely appointment. First time I’ve had the crisis numbers to hand in nearly a year…ho hum…
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Post by reddevil93 on Mar 19, 2024 1:59:29 GMT
Hope the worst of it passes soon! Just remembering that all these feelings are temporary is important. And if it helps to vent in here, I know there are always people happy to support and give understanding advice.
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Post by drhcnip on Mar 19, 2024 2:14:38 GMT
Oh aye, I just hoped, after three solid years of it, I was slightly on the up for once…never mind, I’m sure they’ll find some new cocktail for me…and don’t worry, I’ve got years of experience of venting in here and on eg…🤣
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Post by damagedinc on Mar 19, 2024 5:59:30 GMT
hope people are doing ok. Another rough patch here at the moment, severe depression kicking back in and lots of passive ideation. Starting to think the combo of meds I’m on at the moment are beginning to fade out in usefulness which is a fucking shame as I thought they were working ok …got the psych in a few weeks so thinking that’s a timely appointment. First time I’ve had the crisis numbers to hand in nearly a year…ho hum… "Relapses" are the worst, always fucking sneak up on you just as you think your getting somewhere. Good that you got an appointment coming up soon so gives you something to focus on. Anything in particular trigger it? (You obviously don't have to answer this) |
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Post by drhcnip on Mar 19, 2024 8:57:43 GMT
Nothing I can pinpoint in particular. Last year was full of ptsd and trauma triggers but that all seems to have settled since the trauma therapy, fingers crossed. That’s what makes me think it may be a meds issue. Definitely more fragile and reactive than I have been
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Post by damagedinc on Mar 19, 2024 9:02:09 GMT
Nothing I can pinpoint in particular. Last year was full of ptsd and trauma triggers but that all seems to have settled since the trauma therapy, fingers crossed. That’s what makes me think it may be a meds issue. Definitely more fragile and reactive than I have been I find meds frustrating because I am now in this loop of not knowing how much they're helping/not helping. In the defence of meds I tried to come off them recently as mentioned before and it did not go well. Serious suicidal tendency stuff. Thankfully that didn't last long and was a horrendous hole to be on. I've now accepted that it's never going to be something that will be fixed permanently. Something we will always have to keep pushing back on. You got anything you can do to try and see you through till your appointment? |
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Post by drhcnip on Mar 19, 2024 9:21:56 GMT
Aye, don’t want to slip back into the black hole of active ideation, not a pleasant place to be.
It’s hard to act on without knowing the triggers but I’ll manage to bumble on until the appt. As I say, I’ve got the crisis numbers etc if needed
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Mar 31, 2024 2:11:42 GMT
I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Not one thing.
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Post by damagedinc on Mar 31, 2024 8:11:17 GMT
I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Not one thing. You good? People here if you need to talk/vent etc you got someone you can talk to in person? |
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Apr 1, 2024 3:36:49 GMT
I have nothing to look forward to anymore. Not one thing. You good? People here if you need to talk/vent etc you got someone you can talk to in person? I had a bad night where the depression waves had been hitting me hard, and came to the belief that after seeing a gig I'd been looking forward to earlier in the week, that was the last thing I had arranged that was going to give me any enjoyment. I've got this week off work and I've suddenly realised there is nothing and no-one stopping me from doing whatever I want, so my mad 4am brain is considering just booking a cheap hotel in London for two nights and jumping on the cheapest National Express coach, have a wander round the Tate Modern, maybe see some bands playing in the Black Heart in Camden in the evenings. If I can push through the anxiety of travelling alone, then maybe putting some physical distance between me and the things bothering me at home will help me relax. |
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Post by Jambowayoh on Apr 1, 2024 10:16:51 GMT
I would do it. You'd be surprised how much you can get from just decompressing and removing yourself from a situation or a place for a few days. As you say there isn't anyone or anything stopping you.
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Garfy
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Post by Garfy on Apr 1, 2024 13:40:00 GMT
I feel travel is drawing me more and more.
Never did get to go to Japan for work
Maybe a bit beyond me tho as my greatest achievement lately is getting a haircut.
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Blue_Mike
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Post by Blue_Mike on Apr 1, 2024 14:36:03 GMT
Booked the hotel and the coach this morning. Feel a bit better just for having done it.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Apr 4, 2024 9:45:32 GMT
I wrote a big thing then deleted it. TL;DR it's all getting a bit fucking much. Feel like screaming. Distractions are only distractions. Can't distract myself for ever can I.
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Post by Danno on Apr 4, 2024 9:49:47 GMT
Stop deleting those posts wunty, it's going to come out one way or another. Might as well vent here a bit, could help stop it bubbling over un less healthy/helpful ways
You were going through a referral process if memory serves - maybe a year ago now. Was there much progress with that?
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Apr 4, 2024 11:01:32 GMT
I never went back. She was meant to schedule another appointment and I don't think she ever did. I didn't like her anyway. I was on top of things towards the end of last year and felt in control. Now it's all just a big shit sandwich with dead ends everywhere. Trying to stay focused but it's a struggle.
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