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Post by blankoblank on Dec 2, 2023 12:53:36 GMT
The funeral was the saddest things I’ve ever seen. No matter how bad things are, whatever your failures are, real or perceived, your family and friends want you here and would do anything to have you back. My little brother took his own life 3 years ago. He was in his 20s. He was absolutely blind to the fact that he was honestly one of the funniest, most charismatic people I knew who was so loved and respected. He could never see it. He was convinced he had nothing to offer. It's so tragic. I wish I knew what to do to help people understand how valued they really are. |
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Post by quadfather on Dec 2, 2023 13:58:20 GMT
Society can be a complete cunt sometimes. It's all geared towards success and avoiding failure or you'll be ousted and classed as useless.
I fucking hate how wrong that is.
Youve *got* to get things wrong before you get them right. That's called learning but everyone is shit scared of making a mistake.
I was in a position with work that was quite effectively physically killing me. The doctor refused to let me go back to work.
I was pushed into a place I have never been in before - to walk away from my career and give it the finger on the way out.
I have no idea what I am going to do next, but I do feel like I am actually living properly again and getting healthier.
All because I am not working. The irony.
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Post by quadfather on Dec 2, 2023 14:04:22 GMT
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Post by Dougs on Dec 2, 2023 14:09:35 GMT
Likewise, that's awful. Hope you and the family are doing okay.
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Post by blankoblank on Dec 2, 2023 15:44:45 GMT
Thank you guys I appreciate it. His name was Darren. Honestly his dry ass humour would have gone down a storm here you'd have loved him.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Dec 2, 2023 15:47:15 GMT
Sorry for you loss man.
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ned
New Member
Posts: 501
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Post by ned on Dec 2, 2023 16:09:41 GMT
So sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some peace eventually, if that is ever possible
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Post by blankoblank on Dec 2, 2023 16:37:39 GMT
I appreciate it. Honestly I'm so glad to hear condolences as I was half expecting to hear people reply with similar stories- so glad that our situation may be a little rarer than I feared.
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Post by blankoblank on Dec 2, 2023 16:44:46 GMT
Society can be a complete cunt sometimes. It's all geared towards success and avoiding failure or you'll be ousted and classed as useless. I fucking hate how wrong that is. Youve *got* to get things wrong before you get them right. That's called learning but everyone is shit scared of making a mistake. I was in a position with work that was quite effectively physically killing me. The doctor refused to let me go back to work. I was pushed into a place I have never been in before - to walk away from my career and give it the finger on the way out. I have no idea what I am going to do next, but I do feel like I am actually living properly again and getting healthier. All because I am not working. The irony. I kind of feel like I've never really improved myself in a job I've only improved between jobs. You kind of convince yourself that you're that person when in fact, you were in a situation which has no bearing on you. And it helps with perspective. |
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Post by quadfather on Dec 2, 2023 16:59:23 GMT
Absolutely agree. I remember posting something a few weeks ago where I mentioned that I couldn't believe how false the whole thing is *until* I was freed from it.
While you're within it, you just can't get that perspective.
See also grief, anger and a host of other emotions I guess.
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Post by harrypalmer on Dec 2, 2023 18:16:22 GMT
rawshark don’t feel bad about shouting at a baby, sure it’s not a good look but I’m pretty sure all parents have done it at some point, I know I have and I regret it all the time. You’re a good person for realising it’s wrong, but you’re tired and stressed, it happens. I’m constantly battling with myself to remain calm with my kid, sometimes we just fail, if we didn’t have any stresses or worries parenting would be a lot easier.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Dec 2, 2023 18:19:29 GMT
So sorry for your loss.
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Post by blankoblank on Dec 2, 2023 20:18:44 GMT
I really appreciate that thank you so much mate. |
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Post by Syrette on Dec 11, 2023 21:40:59 GMT
I don't know if it's right to mention it in this thread as others have bigger issues than me, but I really need to er, work, on my workaholism.
I find it difficult to stop, through absolutely no fault of my employer.
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ekz
New Member
O_o
Posts: 697
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Post by ekz on Dec 16, 2023 7:03:46 GMT
What the fuck am I doing dude
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Post by LegendaryApe on Dec 16, 2023 7:09:02 GMT
You okay Ekz
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,381
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Post by Blue_Mike on Dec 23, 2023 2:40:17 GMT
There is not one aspect of my life right now that is not worse than it was this time last year.
Struggling to keep the mask of geniality up at work.
Just getting out of bed in the morning feels like it takes all the energy I have.
I've been far worse than this in the past, but the last few weeks, it just seems to be a few days on, a few days off and just that little bit worse every time.
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MolarAm🔵
Full Member
Bad at games
Posts: 6,855
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Post by MolarAm🔵 on Dec 23, 2023 13:09:02 GMT
Yeah you're not alone in that. I've been having prolonged "down" periods for the last few months at least, and Christmas is not making it better.
I'm trying the usual remedies (exercise, nature breaks, doing things I enjoy) and cutting back a lot on the drinking. But it's not really working at the moment, and I don't really know what else to do aside from therapy and/or medication.
Anyway, talking and being open with people probably helps. So I'll try to do more of that; hopefully it will be a good idea for you too.
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Post by quadfather on Dec 23, 2023 13:37:12 GMT
It really doesn't help at this time of year where there are a lot of people absolutely off their tits going on about Christmas etc. Hard time of year for a lot of people, myself included.
But, it is 1 day at the end of it all.
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MolarAm🔵
Full Member
Bad at games
Posts: 6,855
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Post by MolarAm🔵 on Dec 23, 2023 13:54:40 GMT
I don't actually mind Christmas Day itself. It's good to spend it with friends and family and such, I enjoy that. But the long build-up doesn't do much for my mood.
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Post by quadfather on Dec 23, 2023 13:58:34 GMT
I like it too. But it's bittersweet so I have to take the rough with the smooth. But I do like making new Christmases and new years now, as it helps me move forward with new memories.
Unfortunately, this year is going to be exceptionally quiet. Not meeting up with sisters till January, my mates in the village here are going away and the only pub here is closed on the day, so I will be coming up with various things to do. Still, never know, might really enjoy the solace. Fire, food, music and cosy etc.
But yes, the build up is frothing consumerism at its finest.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Dec 23, 2023 14:07:31 GMT
One of my most enjoyable Christmas was the one I spent alone but that's more because I'm quite introverted. It was nice to pace the day as I wanted and I did buy a couple of games to start up on the day.
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Post by quadfather on Dec 23, 2023 14:24:43 GMT
Yeah I have a few ideas of things to do and gaming could easily take the whole day out if necessary  I've never played ocarina of time for example and have got it now so I could start that. Or the other million games I keep telling myself I'm going to start! If I have a few beers and some smokes and turn the synths on, that will make 8 hours feel like 5 minutes too. Need to plan a walk in though to get outside too, but yeah, I'm enjoying the slower pace of things now anyway. |
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ned
New Member
Posts: 501
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Post by ned on Dec 23, 2023 14:32:16 GMT
I always feel flat around Xmas. It’s a time I used to really enjoy but had some really bad ones over the last few years and I associate it with negative life events now, and it makes me more conscious of a sense of lack. Every year I say hopefully the next one will be better, but I kind of dread it now.
I’m working 24/25/26 this year which may or may not help, but it does come and go very quickly.
All the best to anyone struggling, you aren’t alone.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Dec 23, 2023 17:47:32 GMT
I hope we all feel better. Soon as possible
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Post by Danno on Dec 23, 2023 21:22:20 GMT
It really doesn't help at this time of year where there are a lot of people absolutely off their tits going on about Christmas etc. Hard time of year for a lot of people, myself included. But, it is 1 day at the end of it all. Yeah Christmas is the absolute worst for me if I'm already a bit flat, let alone down. It's not just one day either, the build up, the day/three day bit and then the "almost time for work again woo" bit all adds up. Tag on the relentless adverts, Xmas songs in the shop when all you needed was a bag of cat litter, the politics of xmas cards. It fucking sucks some years. Mostly, for me, it's about the people that aren't here for it anymore. Anyway, ramble off. |
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geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
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Post by geefe on Dec 24, 2023 22:53:10 GMT
Big hugs for everyone. I have spent Christmas eve with a very drunk mum telling me she wishes she was dead and has nothing to live for, repeatedly telling me to fuck off and refusing to go to bed. She also said some pretty icky and inappropriate things that will not be shared. Oh and she smashed some stuff.
Thankfully she forgot and hasn't tried to harm herself this time. I'll call that a win.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Dec 24, 2023 22:57:01 GMT
You can only be there for her geefe as best you can. That is all.
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Post by damagedinc on Dec 24, 2023 23:07:07 GMT
Fuck last two months been tough. Holding on by a thread. I'm mentally exhausted.
Raising a whiskey to all those with personal battles
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Dec 25, 2023 1:18:40 GMT
Cheers damagedinc raising a glass to you too buddy, hang in there. |
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I've never played ocarina of time for example and have got it now so I could start that. Or the other million games I keep telling myself I'm going to start!
