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Post by quadfather on Jun 27, 2023 12:10:00 GMT
Also, if anyone is going through grief related stuff, I've found 2 books that really helped. One is You are not alone, by Cariad Lloyd, and the other is Faith, Hope and carnage, which is a kind of very long conversation with nick cave and an interviewer.
Both have some things that really stand out and help you get some much need perspective
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Post by Dougs on Jun 27, 2023 12:13:59 GMT
Was aware of the Cariad Lloyd one. She does a podcast too I think? Will check it out, cheers.
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Post by quadfather on Jun 27, 2023 12:24:23 GMT
Yes the podcast is called griefcast. I don't do podcasts but heard its good
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Post by azurelas on Jul 19, 2023 9:48:13 GMT
Hi all.
I believe I posted in the OG thread years ago but haven't since.
Does it ever get better? I've been to psychiatric hospital, been on meds and gone to therapy but I'm just not happy/happier.
Long story short I've been depressed almost as long as I've been alive due to past trauma (intense bullying, seeing my mother get beat up by her partners, sexual abuse) and the fact my mother's ex murdered her because she was leaving him. I just can't seem to be happy or to find happiness in anything anymore and frankly it's draining.
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Post by rawshark on Jul 19, 2023 10:21:11 GMT
I don't think anyone has the answer to that question. But it sounds like you've received help but it might not be an ongoing thing? It sounds like you've been through a lot and it's not something that's going to go anywhere in a matter of weeks, months, or years.
I've been in regular therapy sessions since the start of the year for what I thought was PTSD, but since I've been there I've realised I've been sitting on a lot of stuff and have actually been depressed since about the age of 10. I've got a long way to go but at least I know what I need to unpick now.
The thing I realised is that while the NHS and a lot of workplaces offer temporary mental health services, (which I've been through several times and has only cemented my opinion that workplace mental health services are there for optics and mitigation only, so that if someone does something drastic out of stress they can say they've got these things available for staff and they did all they could...) the sad truth is that there's no replacing long term private therapy. And that does not come cheap. It's an absolute tragedy that it's a level of help that's only available to those who can afford it.
But obviously, I have no idea what your circumstances are - all I can say is that no one can go it alone. Invest in ongoing private therapy if you can and be prepared to work on it for the long term. There's no silver bullet but even if it's just clearing the fog and pointing you back on course once a week that's enough. Best of luck.
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Post by Dougs on Jul 19, 2023 10:34:43 GMT
I think that might be the best advice I've seen in this thread.
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Post by azurelas on Jul 19, 2023 11:19:30 GMT
I don't think anyone has the answer to that question. But it sounds like you've received help but it might not be an ongoing thing? It sounds like you've been through a lot and it's not something that's going to go anywhere in a matter of weeks, months, or years. I've been in regular therapy sessions since the start of the year for what I thought was PTSD, but since I've been there I've realised I've been sitting on a lot of stuff and have actually been depressed since about the age of 10. I've got a long way to go but at least I know what I need to unpick now. The thing I realised is that while the NHS and a lot of workplaces offer temporary mental health services, (which I've been through several times and has only cemented my opinion that workplace mental health services are there for optics and mitigation only, so that if someone does something drastic out of stress they can say they've got these things available for staff and they did all they could...) the sad truth is that there's no replacing long term private therapy. And that does not come cheap. It's an absolute tragedy that it's a level of help that's only available to those who can afford it. But obviously, I have no idea what your circumstances are - all I can say is that no one can go it alone. Invest in ongoing private therapy if you can and be prepared to work on it for the long term. There's no silver bullet but even if it's just clearing the fog and pointing you back on course once a week that's enough. Best of luck. Thanks for the advice but I don't live in the UK. I was weaned off antidepressants and for a good year I was actually better. But I feel I'm just falling back into a depression: I haven't cleaned up in months and have only just stopped drinking completely. It's like there's a void in my personality where a normal human being should be. |
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Post by rawshark on Jul 19, 2023 12:37:12 GMT
It's still in there. It might just be stuck under a lot of rubble.
Everyone is different, and the last thing you need is someone who isn't a doctor advising you on meds. I for one didn't get on with them, but I know people who have been helped a lot by them. But yeah, stopping drinking is probably a good thing as it's not a solution to anything. But do talk to someone. Whatever help is available where you are, talking to someone is the best place to start.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Jul 26, 2023 9:31:07 GMT
Fucking struggling today.
That's all. Had to write it somewhere. Still waiting on my call back from the docs. Don't know if I should chase it. Probably should.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 26, 2023 9:38:43 GMT
Do chase it Wunty. I hope you things improve for you.
I was looking for the thread to post something similar myself, but you've covered it.
I sincerely wish everyone here the best, it's an thing to go through
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Jul 26, 2023 10:13:17 GMT
Just find myself looking back (as in the past, not behind me) constantly. Regretting every fucking descision, fucking yearning to get another chance at the last 20 years. Wondering where it all fucking went. I'm fine one moment then a fucking mess the next. Every hour. Every fucking day. Worse today for some reason though. Brain is all over the goddamned place.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 26, 2023 12:11:55 GMT
So sorry to hear that Wunty. I wish I had some advice for you. My own issues, while still serious (at least to me) are all set in the present.
I would certainly be chasing up that call from your doctor's Wunty.
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Post by quadfather on Jul 26, 2023 12:25:18 GMT
Chase up the call man. Explain to them what you've just said here.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 26, 2023 12:39:00 GMT
Do chase it Wunty. I hope you things improve for you. I was looking for the thread to post something similar myself, but you've covered it. I sincerely wish everyone here the best, it's an thing to go through Might still help to say it in your own words. What's up, Ape? |
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jul 26, 2023 12:44:36 GMT
Chase up the call man. Explain to them what you've just said here. Definitely this, speaking from my own experience it's an arm of the health service where people can easily slip through the cracks and get lost if you don't keep on them. Best of luck Wunty, rooting for you pal. |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 26, 2023 13:15:56 GMT
Do chase it Wunty. I hope you things improve for you. I was looking for the thread to post something similar myself, but you've covered it. I sincerely wish everyone here the best, it's an thing to go through Might still help to say it in your own words. What's up, Ape? I don't know if I can, to be honest. Writing out the things going on would make them real, whereas at the moment most days I can brush them off. That doesn't make much sense. Most days I'm okay, basically but certain days I'm down in the pit |
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Jul 26, 2023 13:21:32 GMT
Its just a great big dollop of “all the good stuff has been and gone and been fucked up, I’m here now and there’s fuck all here and fuck all to look forward to as it’s all only going to get worse”.
Cheerful stuff eh. Like, even when I look at aspirational alternatives for every part of my life, it does nothing. I don’t even want it as that’s all so fleeting and fucking pointless as well.
Anyway. You’re right. I need to chase this up. This is doing me no good and no one needs this self pitying pish.
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Post by quadfather on Jul 26, 2023 13:25:55 GMT
Seems like you're yearning for something but can't see what it is and it's getting you down because you can't get anywhere or see how it could improve.
Ring em up.
Now!
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 31, 2023 17:55:55 GMT
Being hit hard today
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Post by quadfather on Jul 31, 2023 17:57:22 GMT
Sup?
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Post by Danno on Jul 31, 2023 22:37:42 GMT
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Aug 2, 2023 10:18:35 GMT
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Aug 2, 2023 10:20:24 GMT
Got my follow up appointment booked for the 6th September. They're calling it a guided self-help appointment. Starts with a call and then an in person one after that. Surgery had the wrong number for me (I've only been with them 15 years with the same number, not to mention I have been called in the past - fuck knows what they've done), but all sorted now.
Bit of a wait but that's fine. It's booked.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Aug 2, 2023 13:20:26 GMT
A bit better. I should be better at seeing the signs and turning the car around but couldn't. I had a bad migraine yesterday so it might have been some sort of precursor |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Aug 2, 2023 13:22:01 GMT
Got my follow up appointment booked for the 6th September. They're calling it a guided self-help appointment. Starts with a call and then an in person one after that. Surgery had the wrong number for me (I've only been with them 15 years with the same number, not to mention I have been called in the past - fuck knows what they've done), but all sorted now. Bit of a wait but that's fine. It's booked. That's great news Wunty (I originally shortened this to Wunty, but it sounded rude somehow). Let us know how it goes, and I'm sure that it'll help. |
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Aug 4, 2023 8:12:38 GMT
A bit better. I should be better at seeing the signs and turning the car around but couldn't. I had a bad migraine yesterday so it might have been some sort of precursor Migraines are a bitch. Funnily enough I had a fucking stonker of one last night that put me to bed early and I'm still feeling the effects of it this morning.
Hope you're alright today man.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Aug 4, 2023 8:48:17 GMT
A bit better. I should be better at seeing the signs and turning the car around but couldn't. I had a bad migraine yesterday so it might have been some sort of precursor Migraines are a bitch. Funnily enough I had a fucking stonker of one last night that put me to bed early and I'm still feeling the effects of it this morning.
Hope you're alright today man.
I'm good thanks. I think it was my own fault, really. I might have mentioned before, than soya is a trigger for me. My wife bought soon biscuits that I didn't check the contents of, also likewise with naan bread. I've cut it out of my diet as much as possible, and gone from having a headache most days to hardly any now. I get migraines naturally, but the allergy-triggered ones last much longer. Might be worth looking at |
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Aug 4, 2023 10:33:47 GMT
Yeah it’s trying to identify the cause isn’t it. Fucking annoying things.
I think mine is caffeine related but tbh, fuck cutting that out.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Aug 4, 2023 11:15:51 GMT
That would be very tough to give up. Do it slowly over time and you'll get it done.
You're Wunty. There's nothing you can't accomplish.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Aug 4, 2023 11:33:03 GMT
That would be very tough to give up. Do it slowly over time and you'll get it done. You're Wunty. You can accomplish nothing. |
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