Depression

It’s world suicide prevention day. Phil Hay at the Athletic has done a deep dive on Andy’s Man Club and it’s well worth a read.

theathletic.com/3546003/2022/09/10/andys-man-club-monday-7pm/?source=user_shared_article

Didn't see the post, but I'm sure whatever you wrote was worth sharing.

Come on. Spill it. It's always better written down.

oh shark I'm sorry mate. is it worth you two getting out of the house for the weekend, unpacking can wait?

There’s definitely going to be a big cull of stuff. It’s just that it feels like my vote counts for nothing.

Today was miserable for the most part but we made progress in the kitchen at least, which made me feel a bit better. Found a good local chippy too which was just what I needed.

I’ve got another week off work to try make this place feel more like home. Still another week until the broadband gets switched on. That will help.

And jesus, shark.

I don't have any helpful advice, unfortunately, but I know I've had those "I could just jump off this ledge" thoughts before, and they're terrifying. Smart to remove chair height objects out of there. I hope you two find a compromise that works for you both.

Glad things are a little better, pal - we're always here. I'm always reading, even if I haven't posted recently. Not been up to it much...


Morning, all....XD

Main question - does anyone have any experience with IPT as a therapy approach? WIfe was person-centred with CBT and obviously most therapy I've ever had is CBT in nature

Come to the end of my current round of therapy, just got the relapse prevention to do next week. With still being very severe depressed (physcially and mentally debilitated and vulnerable, including ideation - I was composing a letter to my daughter in my head this week, and scores at 95/100%), I'll be back with them for further rounds.

Main issue at the end of this round is that I still have a huge barrier in my way in that I'm still waiting to hear about my ill-health retirement application so my future is incredibly uncertain which makes CBT fairly ineffective at present. It could be 'no', 'yes, but can do other work', or 'yes, incapabe of future work'. Doesn't help that I'm now on zero sick pay from work, so basic PIP and ESA only - gone from 2.5k to 0.5k a month. It's basically left me in an empty, hollow limbo - I feel more like MIss Havisham than ever...

So, from next week, I'll be solely on meds/gp/crisis team support until I know how my new life is going to shape up, to be able to give some sort of structure to therapy. This could be days, weeks, months etc. Need a medication review, so will be back onto GP for that.

Anyway, when I was discussing the way forward with my therapist, IPT came up as a possible way forward when I re-refer. Apparently used as a model for those experiencing huge, transformative life-shifts. It's not something I've come across before so obviously will do some reading but real-life experience is always useful in making an informed judgement so I can make the best decision in my next assessment.

Thanks for reading this far - big love to all x

cheers, mate, that's worth knowing& really useful -not sure i have many questions atm and certainly wouldn't want you to lay everything out

will probably pick your brains when it gets to that new assessment point - was just putting feelers out as it was a new one on me

tbh, from your description, especially the second paragraph, it sounds very appropriate

thanks x

Just striking me how few friends I actually have. I have maybe two good friends - and by good, I mean neither are local to me, there's one I see maybe 3 times in a year, and the other I see a bit more 5-6 times a year, when I visit the Midlands, but I do play online games with them most weekends.

Aside from that I see people regularly for boardgames, and I like them and get along with them, but take away the boardgames and I'm not sure we'd have much in common. Like take away the boardgames and I'd usually never just hang out with them.

Problem is I usually take a very transient approach to friendships. Like work colleagues or folks I used to know at uni, once I move on it's rare that I'll keep in touch, unless they instigate it. I literally don't have any friends from school. One of my friends I knew at college and the other I met at uni, but apart from them everyone just drifts apart.

I'm actually usually fine with that, I do like my own company most of the time and I'm not massively outgoing. But there are definite occasions where I'd like to do stuff, like go to gigs, or maybe there would be an exhibition or something, or just wanting to do something different. And sometimes I'll go by myself but other times having somebody to do stuff with would make things easier.

I could try to reconnect with folks but that just feels very awkward. So I dunno, I just feel oddly lonely at times, even though I'm okay *most* of the time.

People need different amounts of social interaction in their life. Sounds like you generally need less than most. But, at the same time it's good to keep in mind that friendship is a two way street: it has to work for both of you.

In a way it sounds like you are maybe changing a little. Maybe you needed less social interaction in the past but now, because of maybe circumstances or just getting older, you feel like you're starting to need it more. It's something worth keeping in mind and maybe you can try to work on building up some friendship(s) to accommodate for this.

I think I used to make friends really easily. Probably because I've been moving around so much I can just jump into a friendship and be really open from the get go. But like you, I don't much hold on to them. There's my old circle of friends in Finland. I see them maybe every year or two. But apart from them, realistically I'm not even seeing my Greek friends, definitely not my friends from Korea. Everyone is just too spread out. Globalisation sucks that way. I know I should make an effort to see my friends who are here in Belfast but really there's just one dude I hang out with once a week and that's it.

For me at least, it's that whilst I'm content most of the time there are things I would like to do that I don't really feel like are options now. I mean, I don't want to be going out every week or anything like that, but maybe I'd like to go to one of the tap rooms sometimes, or maybe go to the "secret" cocktail place once in a while, actually get dressed up for something now and then. Or go hiking.

Or maybe I'll want to try a new restaurant or sometimes see a band or something (the last one I can do by myself but it depends on the level of engagement I feel with the band). Or just, I dunno, do something different like axe throwing or some shit.

I'm not sure it's so much the social contact I want, but more just wanting to do something different, but my inherent insecurities make it very hard for me to go outside my comfort zone by myself.

It's also strange, but I feel more comfortable talking about loneliness and anxieties and depressive thoughts with internet folks here than I do the people I actually know.

Sounds like you want to date someone? I dig that. (:

This is where we'd need that Adult Friend Finder app that's not just for hooking up.

Reading my post back, I guess it does sound that way, ha. I'd be quite happy with a platonic life partner.

Not really bothered about a romantic/sexual partner. Wouldn't know what to do with one of those these days.

I remain sceptical.






That was in response to Jambo, but now that's it's appeared as the first post on a new page it just looks like my motto. Which tbf it could be.