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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 12:29:03 GMT
There's also the question about what the fuck the change would be. I don't know what I want to do. You had your pc building question. I don't even have that. I have literally nothing that I'd want to pursue as a job. I just picked something that's fairly mundane that I could do with low responsibility so I could switch off while doing it. Use that example if you want. Anything. The only thing stopping you doing anything at all is you, so you need to do something, *and it doesn't matter what it is* and it *doesn't matter if it fucks up*. The point is just to do something. |
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 12:31:08 GMT
I can't really disagree with any of that.
Unfortunately I'm also unlikely to act on any of it.
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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 12:32:09 GMT
Case in point. I have 2 sisters. One of them is very similar and will not do anything because of crippling anxiety amongst other, even worse things which I won't go into here.
The thought of her having to go to my family home and remove all of our parents belongings after they were dead filled her with absolutely terrifying dread.
Yet she still fucking did it.
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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 12:32:43 GMT
I can't really disagree with any of that. Unfortunately I'm also unlikely to act on any of it. And that, is the heart of the situation. But at least you now know what you need to do though. Start small. Start easy. Build it up. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2022 12:39:07 GMT
Hey I'd like a dog but given that I don't have a place of my own and need to go into the office at least twice a week means I'm in no position to look after it. Once again the rest of life gets in the way. I don't aspire to be famous or rich at all, so that's good at least. The dog thing was meant lightly. It was more a point on how something unexpected can suddenly change your outlook a little. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2022 12:50:14 GMT
But that's not even the main thing that's caused my shift, but that's the good thing that's happening. There's not good things happening and it really is a kind of "woah, hold on" kind of moment that we get that makes you reevaluate a little. What is has done is - at the moment - make me a little more content with the little things, as opposed to the big things.
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Sept 6, 2022 13:05:54 GMT
This conversation reminds me of that bit in Two Way Stretch where one asks the other if they think they will get away with it (robbery).
The reply of either way, we will be sorted for life, is brilliant.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 13:10:57 GMT
I do appreciate the comments but it really is fighting against decades of insecurity and anxiety.
I really don't disagree with the advice and platitudes shared but it's still hard to make even small steps when I don't know what the hell I want to do. "Anything/something" is just far too broad. I literally can't picture anything I'd want to do.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 6, 2022 13:12:12 GMT
Start with what you enjoy doing and go from there.
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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 13:16:47 GMT
Well, not doing anything isn't helping is it?
So you might as well do something - if we're being too vague, and you can't decide, then none of us get anywhere.
Go watch a film at the cinema
Go for a walk
Ring someone you haven't spoken to for a while
Interact with nature
Interact with an animal
Do a jigsaw
I'm not trying to sort your life out, I'm just trying to get you to shift your mindset ever-so-slightly, so that *you* will be able to see what it is you need to do. Because at the minute, you have brain fog with all the anxiety. Can't really focus on much in that state.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 13:18:09 GMT
I can do all that stuff, and do some of those frequently. Doesn't solve any of the actual questions and challenges I have.
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mrharvest
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Post by mrharvest on Sept 6, 2022 13:19:49 GMT
Case in point. The bridge near me has been closed THREE times in the past week because of jumpers. It's nuts. There's always the odd one every few months but never that many in quick succession. The struggle is real, and I think that everyone feels it, despite the picture that they may portray. Fucking 'ell. That's like Tokyo or South Korea levels. |
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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 13:20:09 GMT
Alright, write your questions and challenges down on some paper then. What does it look like written down?
And I mean physically write them down, not just go through them in your head. Look at them on some paper.
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Sept 6, 2022 13:21:13 GMT
(removed this as it didn't make sense with Quaddy getting in between)
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Sept 6, 2022 13:21:34 GMT
Case in point. The bridge near me has been closed THREE times in the past week because of jumpers. It's nuts. There's always the odd one every few months but never that many in quick succession. The struggle is real, and I think that everyone feels it, despite the picture that they may portray. Fucking 'ell. That's like Tokyo or South Korea levels. When at the other end of the bridge is Wunty dressed up as a load of sausages, you would jump as well. |
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 13:22:18 GMT
I can do all that stuff, and do some of those frequently. Doesn't solve any of the actual questions and challenges I have. My whiging today isn't something new and different. It's a long-standing pondering, and I've been for plenty of long walks and talked to people and such over that time, and it's no clearer now than it has been. The main thing I learned doing that stuff is that is rather be doing that stuff than working. That was meant to be an edit not a quote of myself. |
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Post by 😎 on Sept 6, 2022 13:23:34 GMT
I’m going to be 100% candid here. This thread is a great place for some emotional support and whatnot, but it can also be a negative feedback loop and sometimes have well intentioned, but bad, advice on medication and therapy techniques. None of us are trained professionals, and it seems like that’s really what you’re needing here. Speak to a doctor, find a professional therapist.
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mrharvest
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Post by mrharvest on Sept 6, 2022 13:24:48 GMT
I do appreciate the comments but it really is fighting against decades of insecurity and anxiety. I really don't disagree with the advice and platitudes shared but it's still hard to make even small steps when I don't know what the hell I want to do. "Anything/something" is just far too broad. I literally can't picture anything I'd want to do. I don't know if this will help you but there's this new organisation called 80,000 hours. They try to steer people towards careers in things that solve big problems in the world: 80000hours.org/Maybe you'd find something interesting there. |
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 14:04:24 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2022 14:10:05 GMT
See. That's what I'm saying. We're all fucked as a by-product of the society and hierarchy we have built for ourselves, as well as the exposure to every horrible thing that's happening in the world.
Ignorance is bliss, they say, and they aren't fucking wrong.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2022 14:20:38 GMT
I’m going to be 100% candid here. This thread is a great place for some emotional support and whatnot, but it can also be a negative feedback loop and sometimes have well intentioned, but bad, advice on medication and therapy techniques. None of us are trained professionals, and it seems like that’s really what you’re needing here. Speak to a doctor, find a professional therapist. None of us are trained professionals, no. I agree with you and have myself - in the past - urged people to go seek professional help, as it has also been said towards me to do so. Negative feedback or not, sometimes a purge in here and reading through the inlfux of comments from different perspectives does help and I think (I hope) that no-one, be it drhickman, myself or mrharvest come in here and expect a solution, or a technique that is going to fix anything. Talking about our feelings, even online to strangers, can help immensely though, and I would be wary of dismissing replies and advice as dangerous lest it puts others off from replying at a time when sometimes you just need a response, knowing full well you aren't going to act on the advice given - no matter what it may be.
What I'm trying to say is, yes, always if it gets to that, seek professional help. Always. But let's not discourage any discourse in here, even if we do have to post a disclaimer every couple of pages.
The medication thing is always ill-advised though, but unless I've missed it, I don't at any point recently - since our last talk on how much a bad idea it is - recall any advice of that nature being given out.
That's my point of view of course, and I'm happy to be corrected / banned and punted into the sun.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Sept 6, 2022 14:34:24 GMT
I do want to send Wunty on that too, I wanted to vent and don't expect any actual answers but the act of venting itself does help.
Please don't punt Wunty into the sun. If nothing else I'm imaging that a flask of sausages burning up in the sun's Corona would make the whole solar system smell like rendered fat.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2022 14:35:23 GMT
These sausages have gone bad. It's the best thing to do.
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Post by quadfather on Sept 6, 2022 15:31:08 GMT
How deliciously bizarre - I have sausages for tea tonight.
Coincidence?
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mrharvest
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Post by mrharvest on Sept 6, 2022 16:53:12 GMT
None of us are trained professionals, no. I agree with you and have myself - in the past - urged people to go seek professional help, as it has also been said towards me to do so. Negative feedback or not, sometimes a purge in here and reading through the inlfux of comments from different perspectives does help and I think (I hope) that no-one, be it drhickman, myself or mrharvest come in here and expect a solution, or a technique that is going to fix anything. For sure. One sub-Reddit that I read and participate in is /r/stopdrinking. It's a peer support group of sorts - people come there when they're struggling and they come there to celebrate when they're doing well. When I post in this thread about my own circumstances it's to share my experiences - I'd even expect anyone to have a solution for me. Heck, I've been on medication for 6 years and seen plethora of therapists in that time, and none of them has been able to "fix" me, so I for sure wouldn't expect a forum thread to do that either. But at the same time sometimes it's good to talk to other people about the ups and the downs. That Guardian article is kind of getting at it, it's a tough world to live in. And biologically humans aren't evolved to live in tightly packed cities, working on intangible goals, separated from nature, or even to live much past 40. Of course we're struggling. So, then we need to do our best to figure out how to cope with this nonsense that gets thrown at us and that's what places like this thread I feel are most useful for: sometimes it's just a place to vent, sometimes it's a place for others to remind us that we need professional help. |
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Post by Sarfrin on Sept 6, 2022 18:01:45 GMT
Yeah, I agree with a lot of what that article says. If you have even a modicum of an idea where the world's headed why wouldn't you be unhappy? |
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cubby
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Post by cubby on Sept 6, 2022 19:09:42 GMT
Yeah, I agree with a lot of what that article says. If you have even a modicum of an idea where the world's headed why wouldn't you be unhappy? It's a vaguely interesting article in that it seeks to view the question of rising mental health issues in a different way, but I can't help feeling that it misses a fundamental development in the last 20 years that I think are two of the biggest reasons: 24 hour news and phones that give us access to everything all the time. We have no switch off at all, and anxiety is worrying about things in a way that disrupts your life. |
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Post by 😎 on Sept 6, 2022 19:12:23 GMT
It’s also ironic being an article on the Grauniad given they’re usually suspect no. 1 for “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE” news.
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mrharvest
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Post by mrharvest on Sept 6, 2022 19:50:07 GMT
I can't help feeling that it misses a fundamental development in the last 20 years that I think are two of the biggest reasons: 24 hour news and phones that give us access to everything all the time. We have no switch off at all, and anxiety is worrying about things in a way that disrupts your life. Oh, they have an article for that too: theguardian.com/on-my-terms/2022/sep/01/its-past-your-worry-time-four-ways-to-stop-overthinking-and-enjoy-yourselfActually no joke sponsored by a wine company, too. Google pushed this article my way presumably because I bought a McGuigan 0% wine for cooking. |
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mrharvest
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Post by mrharvest on Sept 10, 2022 10:28:43 GMT
I thoroughly hate being alive today. Everything feels unpleasant.
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