The Reviews of Shit Fast Food Thread

The sausage looks good, chips look a bit anaemic.

The worst thing about chip shops now is they’ve taken the salt and brewed condiment away from you since covid, I’m very particular about my seasoning and they never put enough on for me despite asking for lots. I want to feel the vinegar bleeding through the paper to my hand

Should hope so for 3.70, that's nearly two bags of potatoes.

I enjoy curry sauce as a northerner, there’s all different varieties too - Chinese sauce looks like melted earwax and is spicy, English looks like the toxic sludge scene from Robocop with the unidentified lumps in and is quite sweet, and I once had one labelled Irish (think this was in Ramsbottom) that looks like something the dog fetched up and tasted a bit more organic. It’s all lovely though.

One on my bucket list is the apparent Edinburgh chippystaple salt ‘n’ sauce which is brown sauce of a particular brand (think it’s called Gold Star) heavily thinned with vinegar over salt. That sounds amazing.

And yep there’s plenty of crap chippies out there. I remember the best I’ve ever had was in Hebden Bridge, was sozzled though.

It doesn't look worth £6.20 if I'm honest. Never cared for a battered sausage (oooerrr) though so maybe I'm the wrong person to comment.

we had papa johns pizza last week. look let's not get into assigning blame. lessons were learnt, it's time to move on. Choices are more limited out in the sticks, and they surely can't still be terrible?

a week later, the taste of slightly rancid vegetable oil has largely dissipated, and I note papa johns are closing 10% of their UK stores. Beyond wishing affected employees a soft landing, I can't help but think this is for the best

Back in the day as a young un in the RAF there used to be a van come around after chucking out time that served crispy skinned saveloys and chips the saveloys were epic.

Nothing touched that since, my takeaway life never reached those heights again

Pizza Hut has to take that crown. It's like chewing on layers of wet cardboard.

Mmmmmm wet cardboard, dribbles

@drakesmoke Salt 'n' sauce N.B. not satin sauce as it sounds like it's pronounced    is pretty good. It works well & is definitely worth trying.


It's pretty much a mix of broon sass and vinegar, so a wee bit more watery than HP etc.

Pizza Hut round here is always burnt to a crisp, so we never order takeaway from there.

We use local pizza shops and avoid chains. People that own their own shop and run it like their life depends on are usually driven to be good or else they're out of business.

One of the Indian curry houses near us bought a pizza oven and they do some cracking spicy pizzas.

Papa Johns ‘padaddia’ is OK and if you can pick up one of the best £/weight of food deals at a chain takeaway. There’s a spicy Tuscan sausage one that is pretty good.

Had a basic meaty pizza from there a few weeks ago and it wasn’t very nice. The pepperoni was mostly burned around all the edges and there was a bad aftertaste from one of the ingredients.

Rudy’s is the best pizza I’ve had in the UK, IMO.

I think getting the right dilution of vinegar is probably critical. I haven't had any when down in embra for years, but it's always amazingly watery, so must be fairly dilute. If you just mixed vinegar with the sauce I imagine that'd be a bit overpowering.

Might even split the components in the sauce I guess? What happened with your experiment?