Vortex
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Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,392
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Post by Vortex on May 21, 2022 12:49:48 GMT
I clonked myself on the shin with a kettlebell yesterday at the gym because I am an eejit.
It formed a nice bruised egg & everything. 😢
But i still went for a run today, because i am a brave little soldier.
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Post by khanivor on May 21, 2022 15:43:52 GMT
Fucked my knees up at a gig last night. Pogoing. At my age. Not wise.
Also almost knocked myself out on bifold closet doors when I got up in middle of night for a piss. Knees gave way and I pitched hard towards the ground, only stopping myself with my jaw ramming into the edge of the folded open door .
Cleaned my own clock
I’m not being brave. I’m hurting, ice pack on knees but I can feel it’s in the joints themselves. Legitimately worried I’ve done some serious damage, the kind a lie down ain’t gonna fix
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Post by khanivor on Jun 6, 2022 22:45:14 GMT
So folks whose house I’m staying at have house guests. With their two giant Weimerammer(sp). One is always barking like fuck.
Anyway, this afternoon in kitchen chatting. Get told that the barky dog has a last with a man abusing her. About two minutes later the dog strolls up to me and
BITES ME ON THE FUCKING BALLSACK
A good nip it was. Went off to have a quick check. Looked ok. Came back, laughed it off, went to work. Went for a crap and pulling up my britches noticed blood on my boxers. Had a look and yeah, blood on my nut. Three puncture marks and a bruise on inside of my thigh
Kept working. Then came for a beer, despite earlier pledging to not drink today. However
A DOG BIT MY FUCKING BALLSACK
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jun 6, 2022 23:52:41 GMT
That means you get a free bite on his
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Post by Danno on Jun 7, 2022 0:17:41 GMT
That means you get a free bite on his I'm not sure that's how this works Or, at the very least, not how Khanivor wants this to work. He did get a blowie from a Warhammer, give him some space. |
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jun 7, 2022 0:25:14 GMT
That means you get a free bite on his I'm not sure that's how this works Or, at the very least, not how Khanivor wants this to work. He did get a blowie from a Warhammer, give him some space. It's how we want it to work. |
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
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Post by Lizard on Jun 7, 2022 0:32:21 GMT
Is Khanivor actually Frank Spencer?
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Post by khanivor on Jun 7, 2022 0:46:56 GMT
That means you get a free bite on his I did note if was a female dog that did me wrong Should also note this is first time I can recall being bitten by a dog. |
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Post by Dougs on Jun 7, 2022 5:26:07 GMT
When was your last tetanus?
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nexus6
Junior Member
Posts: 2,526
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Post by nexus6 on Jun 7, 2022 7:18:55 GMT
What a bitch
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dogbot
Full Member
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Post by dogbot on Jun 7, 2022 8:14:44 GMT
You need an armed security Wiemeraner...
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Post by dfunked on Jun 7, 2022 22:12:41 GMT
Or some weiner armour...
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rawshark
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Post by rawshark on Jun 8, 2022 10:33:19 GMT
That's nothing. A family friend got the same from a German Shepherd and it didn't let go. Shook him around and went clean through the bag and some of the hosepipe. Best to just get a goldfish, really.
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Blue_Mike
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Meet Hanako At Embers
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jun 9, 2022 22:15:04 GMT
My left foot has four blisters on it. I feel like ringing Dignitas.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Jun 15, 2022 14:56:12 GMT
Went for a hike earlier, had a little early around an short easy trail first, like 30 minutes, suitable for wheelchairs. It went next to a river, and I jumped down onto a rock to get a picture.
I landed a bit awkwardly, thought but it didn't seem too bad so didn't really mention it.
Then we went for a 4.5 mile strenuous hike, couple of decent climbs and I've steep descent sections over loose rocks.
Didn't hurt too much whilst walking.
But now it's fucking agonising, think it's swelled slightly, practically had to hop from the car as I couldn't walk at all.
So in short, if your hurt yourself, don't be silent and try to plough through it.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Jun 24, 2022 7:54:35 GMT
Might have to go to the doctor about this foot, it's still hurting after a week.
The ankle pain has subsided but there's a lingering pain at the side of my foot, just at the edge of the instep arch. Feels like a tendon or something is swollen going down the edge of the foot too. Sometimes it's fine, other times its quite a sharp, lingering pain. Can also see and feel like a dent in my foot where the pain starts.
Eh I'll give it another week.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 24, 2022 8:05:46 GMT
Probably have strained something. Ankles are a pain, I roll mine all the time. Ice it regularly but keep it moving and see a doc for a physio referral if it doesn't improve.
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Post by dfunked on Jun 24, 2022 8:15:18 GMT
Ankles are an absolute bastard to heal. Hit mine quite badly and it was still a bit achey almost two years later. One of the rare things I actually went to a doctor about, only to be told there's nothing you can do except let it heal.
Might be different in your case, so possibly worth a visit (or at least get it booked in if wait times are anything like mine)
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Post by Dougs on Jun 24, 2022 8:35:53 GMT
I definitely regret not doing the physio I should have in my 20s. As wel as rolling them a lot, it's also screwed up my knee on one leg
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Post by drhickman1983 on Jun 24, 2022 8:36:50 GMT
Cheers folks.
It's not really the ankle so much now, though all things being connected I get the odd twinge. Mobility seems okay and I've been walking and cycling about okay, if a bit limpy at times.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 24, 2022 8:48:55 GMT
Some tendons run down the outside of the foot, so probably strained one of those.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2022 8:49:53 GMT
I'm drunk. It's almost 2AM. I will soldier on.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 24, 2022 8:51:12 GMT
Anyway, I appear to have thumb tendonitis. Or gamer's thumb. It bloody hurts and I have to use my phone with my index finger like my father in law.
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on Jun 24, 2022 9:04:09 GMT
You are all very brave. Especially spooky.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2022 9:06:12 GMT
Don't say that
I'm being a pussy
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on Jun 24, 2022 9:11:31 GMT
Ok. You're all being really brave. Except spooky.  |
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Post by Danno on Jun 24, 2022 10:21:14 GMT
I'm drunk. It's almost 2AM. I will soldier on. uhoh. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2022 18:38:08 GMT
I'm drunk. It's almost 2AM. I will soldier on. uhoh. Hungover but not hating myself, so that's a positive. I haven't not hated myself in a long while. |
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スコットランド
Junior Member
Delicious gruel
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Post by スコットランド on Jun 26, 2022 16:46:32 GMT
I discovered recently that eating razor clams in summer in Eastern France , some distance from the sea , is not. A good idea.
Horrendous food poisoning, whole night with the endless runs that are pure water. I’m not calling an ambulance though as I’m a brave little soldier..
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Ulythium
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Lily-livered
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Post by Ulythium on Jun 26, 2022 16:49:16 GMT
I discovered recently that eating razor clams in summer in Eastern France , some distance from the sea , is not. A good idea. Horrendous food poisoning, whole night with the endless runs that are pure water. I’m not calling an ambulance though as I’m a brave little soldier..
I don't want to add to your misery by poking fun, Ecosse old pal, but... was that really a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
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