cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,417
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Post by cubby on Jun 9, 2024 22:23:59 GMT
It does make you think about all those unknowns that you'll never really know when you're just viewing a property. Does the toilet flush well, does it stain easily? Can you hear your neighbours fucking at 3am? How many ghosts are there?
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,433
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jun 9, 2024 22:27:06 GMT
I haven't gone 3 days without shitting since I refused to use the shared bathroom at highschool camp and that was pure hell. I'd want gas and air for the dilation alone. |
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JonFE
Junior Member
Uncomfortably numb...
Posts: 1,977
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Post by JonFE on Jun 9, 2024 22:30:51 GMT
It does make you think about all those unknowns that you'll never really know when you're just viewing a property. Does the toilet flush well, does it stain easily? Can you hear your neighbours fucking at 3am? How many ghosts are there? I'd consider the toilet stuff a turn-off, but the other two, I'm not so sure  |
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Post by Danno on Jun 9, 2024 23:14:52 GMT
It does make you think about all those unknowns that you'll never really know when you're just viewing a property. Does the toilet flush well, does it stain easily? Can you hear your neighbours fucking at 3am? How many ghosts are there? Will a screeching grub and its parents have breakfast on the balcony below at 8am on a fucking Sunday |
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Post by Danno on Jun 9, 2024 23:16:15 GMT
Jokes on them I'm taking all my shits at 7am Sunday directly off my balcony
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,784
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Post by mrpon on Jun 10, 2024 10:45:18 GMT
I haven't gone 3 days without shitting since I refused to use the shared bathroom at highschool camp and that was pure hell.  |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jun 10, 2024 11:05:43 GMT
It does make you think about all those unknowns that you'll never really know when you're just viewing a property. Does the toilet flush well, does it stain easily? Can you hear your neighbours fucking ghosts at 3am? How many ghosts are there? |
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Frog
Full Member
Posts: 7,314
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Post by Frog on Jun 10, 2024 11:28:12 GMT
Having lived in my house for quite a long time you get to hear neighbours fucking from time to time (terraced house). However there has been one set that moved in that have never even made a sound which either means they have no sex or bad sex. A few sets of neighbours back they never used to make any noise and then they split up. She had a 1 nighter and got absolutely railed by someone, I almost applauded after they finished as he clearly knew what he was doing.
Thus ends the tale of my neighbours sex lives.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,433
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jun 10, 2024 11:40:51 GMT
If you aren't tiling egg cartons over your bedroom walls as an ad hoc sound dampening device then what kind of neighbour are you
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,417
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Post by cubby on Jun 10, 2024 12:34:49 GMT
One that fuuuuuuucks, apparently.
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Post by dfunked on Jun 10, 2024 12:42:08 GMT
Just read an article about the need for type O blood donors after the recent cyberattack (twats!)
Which reminded me that I haven't donated blood since before I moved house, so went to check my details are up to date on blood.co.uk and the website is clearly getting hammered and put me in an 18 minute queue.
Faith in my fellow man has been slightly restored...
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Post by grey_matters on Jun 10, 2024 12:57:06 GMT
Unless it's another cyberattack...
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,696
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Post by minimatt on Jun 28, 2024 3:10:35 GMT
Eleven days ago a neighbour from a few doors down knocked the street as their cat was missing. By the description it was not one of the usual street suspects, indeed not one I think we'd ever seen.
Yesterday evening I catch glimpse, and a slightly blurry photo, of a cat matching the description in our back garden. Wander over to neighbour to ask if their cat is still missing, and if so is this it - yes, and yes. Neigbour comes over and we spend a few minutes yelling "Mittens" into shrubbery to no avail. We say we'll put some food out and kinda hope we'll figure something out if we see it again.
After neighbour left, myself & other half put some food out with a vague notion to put it in a cat carrier so that maybe it'll over time get accustomed to eating from the carrier and we can sneak up on it and trap it in the carrier while it's distracted by treats. Anyone who's ever tried to catch their cat on the morning of a routine vets appointment knows this basically never works with your own cat, let alone a stranger.
But we put some food out, and yell "Mittens" at bushes one more time and... get a meow back. Bit more coaxing, lot more meowing and Mittens is eventually, ravenously, devouring a bowl of food on the lawn. We debate methods of capture, knowing all are likely to end in failure - you've kinda got one shot to catch a cat before they realise your game and won't fall for your tricks again for six months. Settle on moving the bowl into crate while it's eating, and once it's front half is in, madly bundle the arse half into the crate and close the door before it realises what's up.
It works! Poor cat was so hungry it carried on eating as we were bundling it in, and indeed as we were carrying it over to neighbour.
I've had cats go missing, many of us have, and I debated posting this because I know Dougs' has been missing and I've kinda feared no-news is bad-news. Bad news is kinda the default outcome and it's just the worst feeling. But this one time everything went right: the cat was still around after eleven days, it responded to strangers' bribes, we succesfully caught it.
Neighbour was so happy I wasn't far off sobbing in the street. Posting this at 4am as our own cat has woken me up - cats remain dicks - this one time i'm not even mad, sure buddy, lets find you some pre-breakfast treats.
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Post by Danno on Jun 28, 2024 4:08:08 GMT
Mittens, you're a disgrace to the species.
(Glad you found the silly bugger, Matt)
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hicksy
Junior Member
I'm good for some but I'm not for everyone
Posts: 1,615
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Post by hicksy on Jun 28, 2024 5:15:08 GMT
Did you ask mittens why it had abandoned its own food slaves for acceptable shrubbery? Seems odd it was not meowtivated to return of its own accord for adoration?
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Post by Dougs on Jun 28, 2024 6:22:47 GMT
Well done matt, that is indeed a positive thing. Mine is still missing, we are leafleting this weekend. Still think he's with another household, it's too coincidental. I prefer that to the other...when my childhood cat went missing, I wasn't told until I was an adult that they'd found her in a neighbour's porch, missing a head. Bitten off by a fox, was the working theory.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,433
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jul 24, 2024 21:49:56 GMT
Bit of retail therapy today, which I quite sorely needed.
Cleared out half my wardrobe of stuff that I will never wear again into charity bags, ordered a few new pairs of jeans and things off Amazon as replacements, and while I was at it, decided to get a couple of things to save some space and spruce the place up, like an L-shaped bookcase that matches my TV unit to take advantage of a corner that doesn't get much use, an under desk drawer to clear some of the crap that always seems to accumulate on top of my desk.
And a teeny tiny little PC to use as a media centre to replace the aging little tower I rescued from a watery grave in the skip out the back of the Comet I worked in about 15 years ago, that sits on the floor generating excessive heat and which I constantly bang the hoover into. This thing is so little I could Command strip it to the underside of the desk. |
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Post by dfunked on Jul 25, 2024 10:18:09 GMT
Those N100 machines are bloody great little things. I've got two of them from AliExpress (HUKD addict), but need to source a decent UK power supply.
I'm thinking Batocera would work well on one of them.
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Post by Dougs on Jul 25, 2024 12:13:52 GMT
I was wondering how they stacked up. Might see what they can handle.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 25, 2024 20:35:20 GMT
Just finished a busy period at work, and most likely won't be busy again for a year or two.
Good ol' civil service.
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Post by Dougs on Jul 25, 2024 20:53:47 GMT
Speak for yourself! The pre-election period in the UK was moderately quiet but all guns blazing again now!
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 26, 2024 7:00:14 GMT
Speak for yourself! The pre-election period in the UK was moderately quiet but all guns blazing again now! Hopefully it'll ease down for you soon, fellow brother-in-arms. |
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Tomo
Junior Member
Posts: 3,556
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Post by Tomo on Jul 26, 2024 7:45:58 GMT
Fantastic work minimatt and good luck with your search Dougs.
I have had many, many cats over the years (at one point we had 12 in the house when I was a kid). We had one cat leave and return about 6 months later. Obviously walked back in like nothing had happened.
More recently, a couple of years ago, we adopted our friend's childhood cat in our London flat. All seemed to be going well, and then about two weeks after joining us she decided to leg it. My immediate thought was lost cause given we were in central London on an estate with roads nearby etc.
Anyway, my partner was distraught, and determined, so she put up various missing cat posters. Loads of them in fact. She would get school kids ringing her telling her they found the cat dead, laughing on the way home, etc. Worst, there was some cunt who would ring her up and ask where she lived and can he come over and see her. This guy would ring her semi-regularly. Given the locations of the posters, he must've lived no more than a few hundred metres away, but with so many blocks of flats, impossible to know where.
Anyway, after 2 weeks of this bullshit and nightly walks around grotty estates, she got a text saying they saw the cat very nearby our estate near some garages. So we head out to investigate and lo and behold the little fucker shoots out right past us as we were approaching. We couldn't believe it. We didn't see her again that evening because she was like an animal possessed. Full fight or flight mode out in the urban jungle.
Anyway, after a couple of evenings of a few more sightings, we located her to one particular garage she would retreat to. I ended up sitting outside it ALL night with the aim of speaking to the owners in the morning and fishing her out. Come the morning I ring the guy's intercom and it's this older guy who basically thinks I'm going to mug him I think. He refuses to help. Great. It also transpires the cat could escape through a small hole in the back of this brick garage so I was probably on sentry duty guarding air for most of the night.
Anyway, to the point of my tale, I ended up going to Cats Protection where you can borrow animal cages for a deposit. They have a little plate which triggers the door on one end to collapse and trap the animal.
So back out I go to the garages one night, we plant the cage with food. Dress it up with some discarded cardboard boxes and paint tins, etc. Make it legit.
Cat appears. Strolls in. I'm spying this from the comfort of our car this time. Just needed a newspaper to be fully incognito. She starts eating. Continues eating. Keeps eating. And then fucking walks out again! I was so upset. We collect the cage and basically the trapdoor had not triggered.
We go home and the next day I WD40 the mechanism and we head out again a few days later to set the trap again. I'm actually walking the estate this time and my partner spots her enter in the vicinity of the cage. I'm nearby but I don't want cat to see me so I hang back behind a corner. Texting my partner. Cat entering. Cat inside. Cat eating. WHACK.
I will never forgot the sound of that cage slamming shut. I hustle over to it and lift up the towel we draped over the cage and there she is. Fucking eyes wide livid. We took her back to our flat and she breathed in her food and then it was like she was instantly a domestic cat again rather than this feral lunatic we'd been chasing for 3 weeks.
The first time she went outside again was a heart in mouth moment, but when she came back a little later, I think we all realised none of us wanted a repeat saga.
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hicksy
Junior Member
I'm good for some but I'm not for everyone
Posts: 1,615
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Post by hicksy on Jul 26, 2024 9:01:35 GMT
Cats = loveable lunatics for sure
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Post by Dougs on Jul 26, 2024 13:37:13 GMT
Or, cats are dicks but don't care.
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,417
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Post by cubby on Jul 26, 2024 18:25:34 GMT
We walked the dogs over the bridge near us and the train approaching started tooting "No Limit" so we started doing rave hands back at him, which made him do it more. Fridays!
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jul 26, 2024 19:22:36 GMT
I have a whole week off work and Mrs Mercury and the feral beasts are off to a holiday park, so just me and the cat for a week, though I do have to finish off the IKEA shelves shenanigans.
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Post by Zuluhero on Jul 26, 2024 22:57:50 GMT
Tomo surprised you'd let her out again after all that! Proper made me laugh though, especially picturing you with a detective hat and trenchcoat, repleat with turned up coller, narrating the whole escapade with a detective noir voice over 😅 Glad it all turned out ok though!
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jul 27, 2024 14:35:13 GMT
Won a bunch private bids for some collectable comics and finally taking my collection a bit more seriously. Quite happy with my haul so far.
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,438
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Post by Vortex on Jul 27, 2024 14:37:38 GMT
Won a bunch private bids for some collectable comics and finally taking my collection a bit more seriously. Quite happy with my haul so far. Definitely getting dale-esque! 🤣 |
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