How do you tinkle?

Always sitting down, I can't stand urine-covered toilets.

So you sit in the piss instead?

Anyone using the boxer flap method probably ends up with the last few drops in their pants. I need balls in the breeze to guarantee a full evacuation.

Only piss like a girl in the middle of the night or am really, really drunk.

I'll have most from option one and a couple from option 5 please.

If at a urinal, I pinch the end of the foreskin to let the wee build up inside, inflating like a balloon. Eventually the pressure builds up enough that, when the valve is released accompanied by a gentle squeeze from the other end, a number one shotgun explodes like a wee-filled tube of toothpaste, in the best case scenario catching all corners of the urinal.

Ideally you should not attempt it without appropriate distance from other pissers, as the greatness of this maneuver is less appreciated from people who got wee splashed on them.

You could also do it sitting down, but it's significantly less impressive.

Sit down wee for a treat every now and then, option 1 majority of the time.

Anyone voting as a dirty trouser dropper should be named and shamed.

Think of the knowledge you amass, though. Stuff you'd never think of, on your computer, every day.

true, although I sometimes worry that, as the dementia takes hold, precisely which information will be stubbornly retained till the end

Lift the seat? It’s got a hinge.

Did we lose all (both?) the ladies in the transition?

Where's the option to sit inside hidden wall and and be pissed upon?

I pull the waist of my briefs down with the very tip of my thumb, walking the line between a successful piss or having the elastic flick my penis up mid stream is one of the only unknowns I have left in this life

I keep thinking the thread title is How Do You Tickle.

Very well, in case anyone is interested. I hire myself out for parties.