Fireworks

How can you not be entertained by colourful explosions

Big public displays run by professionals can be great. Selling boxes of explosives to every arsehole in Tesco's so they can let them off for days on end like they do round our way is fucking stupid

I can hear all the fireworks going off outside already. I imagine this is what it's like to live in America every day

There was a big display done about half a mile from my house so we just watched it from the comfort of outside our kitchen with a nice mug of hot chocolate. Ultimately it's just fireworks though isn't it. I don't honestly think I would give a fuck if I never saw another one again. The hot chocolate was lovely though.

Loads of wee shitey ones going off as well now. In the same vicinity. So there's a big display happening, and people still needed to get their own wee fucking shitey boxes and light them. What's the point you twats.

I just discovered silent fireworks are now available, could be a decent idea

I have a dog and fireworks make her bark and it annoys me. But big flashy lights in the sky are beautiful so that's a price I'm prepared to pay. That said, numbnuggets setting crappy little bangs off for the week before and after the actual date can die in a firework-induced fire.

Explosives should not be available to a general public guilty of Brexit, voting in the current government, exponential transmission of a lethal disease, and this

Same. It doesn't stop until January, some arsehole seems to find a leftover box to let off every other day until then

Surely if Barry's a bachelor he doesn't have a chap? Or, you know, if you realise a euphemism is racist maybe just say penis instead.

It's a little alarming how close that article is in tone and language to some of the classic posts.

Well, apart from the disclaimer at the end. Most users are a tad better than that.

Major isn't fussed. He's asleep on my feet. Boxers have no fear, by and large. The cats are not impressed, though. I've made them a little fort under the bed and they're safely tucked away.

I feel sorry for the animals that are scared witless by them. 1.

Mini eggs are quite large

Also why would you want your face on the front of a paper next to that?

Fuck fireworks, they're fucking shit. I can just about tolerate an organised, professional display but they should not be available to the general public.

Regardless of the harm they do to animals or the environment they're actually shit - surely only children and uncontacted Amazonian tribes would be impressed by them in this day and age. It's the 21st century, we should be using lasers or drones or some shit rather than this 'whizz-bang-oooh' bollocks.

I think a modern day attempt would be immortalised differently.

I can't recall the second bit:

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
Gunpower, treason and plot

What was the rest