Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 7:00:33 GMT
Tears this morning and doesn’t want to go to school 😐
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Sept 21, 2022 7:30:48 GMT
😢
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Sept 21, 2022 7:33:55 GMT
Sorry wunty- parenting is a tough gig.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 8:05:02 GMT
Yeah. Poor wee guy just has no self esteem just now.
"I can't do this" "I'm not a liked person" "I'm not strong enough for this"
He doesn't feel like he's got any real friends and he's really struggling to cope. That was the toughest morning yet I think. I walked with him a bit of the way but he wanted me to walk ahead a bit. He went in the end but fuck knows what today will bring.
What to do.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 21, 2022 8:23:21 GMT
It's so tough, as a parent of a kid who's probably missed about 40odd school days this year down to anxiety/low self esteem/bullying I feel your pain, hang in there, you got him in to school and that is something to give yourself a pat on the back for.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 21, 2022 8:47:25 GMT
Really hard. Does seem that 12-14 are probably the tough years with this sort of thing...and thinking back, it was probably the same for me. Definitely got easier as I got older, even if it was only occasional bullying for me.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 8:51:58 GMT
Yeah thanks guys. I did get him there I suppose but fuck me I felt like utter shit. He was fucking pleading with me not to go. I hope he has a better day but I know that he may well not. He was so happy when he started High School just a few weeks ago and already it's turned into this because of some little cunts. I did say to him it gets better. The first few years are shit and then the last few years are great, but when he's only just started, it can be impossible to see that. I get the boy at home full of good humour, quick witted, funny, bright, engaging and it kills me that he isn't confident enough at school to be his real self.
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Post by harrypalmer on Sept 21, 2022 8:54:05 GMT
God, your posts are making me sad, Wunty. It's so tough.
I have no idea what I'd do.
I know it's probably a bit cheesy but have you tried or considered martial arts to build his confidence?
I have a five-year-old and already I can see anxiety creeping in and I feel so sorry for the kid with all the growing up he has to do.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 21, 2022 8:56:54 GMT
Or perhaps something like drama? That's great for building confidence (albeit hard to start).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 9:08:36 GMT
Both good suggestions and funnily enough I did mention martial arts to him after yesterday. The trouble is, his self confidence is and has been so low that he has always struggled to get to classes. He's got his rowing which is going okay (and there are a good bunch of polite, considerate kids there) but I did think something else to boost his confidence is needed.
I know where he's coming from as he doesn't have any mates that are on his wavelength really. Over the years at primary school any that he got on with moved away over the years, which happens, and he's never really connected with anyone else.
We uhmmed and ahhed over this high school but he always really wanted to go. Moving schools will always be an option but even when he was having bad times at primary, he never wanted to move and got quite distressed when we broached the subject.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 21, 2022 9:21:34 GMT
All sounds very familiar. My eldest gets on with some in the year above, mostly about Warhammer, but the lynchpin of that group has just moved away so we'll see if that continues. He tried football, wasn't good enough and got grief. Now he's trying the school play, so we'll see how that goes.
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nexus6
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Post by nexus6 on Sept 21, 2022 9:47:51 GMT
Yeah. Poor wee guy just has no self esteem just now. "I can't do this" "I'm not a liked person" "I'm not strong enough for this" He went in the end. Its shit, but that's the important part imo. If you can get him to appreciate that he still went in even though he is suffering, that could be the basis for helping him realise that he is strong enough. OR that might be total bollocks from me as its so difficult. Hope he is ok today dude
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 10:00:03 GMT
Thanks man. I'm hoping it's the former. Guess I'll find out tonight.
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Sept 21, 2022 10:08:59 GMT
Hope he is okay tonight Wunty, it's hard feeling helpless as a parent though for sure.
On the martial arts front, I did Aikido as a kid and enjoyed it, but as someone who got into boxing in later life wish I had done that as a kid instead. Find a good club/coach and it'll be well handled so no fear of your kid being battered. I found boxing excellent for my mental wellness (there is something very cathartic about hitting bags and pads), it is exceptional for fitness and teaches a lot about control and power. After only a few months I felt much more confident, and also knew that of someone did try anything, that I'd be able to give a good account of myself if things went sour.
I've to this day never had to use my fists outside of the ring (long may that continue) but the confidence I have in myself to be able to at least stand my ground and handle myself (within reason) is a great feeling. It's not for everyone, but it may be something your son would enjoy.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2022 17:19:18 GMT
Thanks man, that’s a good option to put to him as well, and thanks for relaying your experiences, may help.
He has had an okay day today he said. No comments. He’s in a much better place. I’m so glad he went to school.
This isn’t over by a long shot, but it’s good that he knows it won’t necessarily be as bad as he is dreading.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 22, 2022 8:25:11 GMT
Sorry for the yarn just rambling really, sometimes it helps to just let it out, we thought we'd turned a corner with our eldest this term, for context he missed weeks and weeks of school at the beginning of the year through anxiety/low self esteem/bullying etc and a whole host of authoritarian figures have been overseeing things ever since but things are a lot better now than in January. He started the new term fine then missed half a day at the beginning of last week, for the first time ever I somehow managed to get him in on the Monday afternoon session and for the rest of the week. He went out with a couple of mates on Sunday away from our local town and somehow things went wrong and he ended up in tears and I had to collect him early rather than him getting the train back with his mates, Monday I could tell he was getting anxious about returning to school on Tuesday and he did actually seem quite coldy by Monday night but of course anxiety manifests itself in weird ways including feeling ill/sick etc so quite hard to distinguish actually sickness or anxiety, anyway bit of a cold on Tuesday (and apparently Mrs Mercury said he was actually sick) so he stayed off, not much better yesterday so stayed off but today I really thought he'd be able to go in as yesterday afternoon he as out on his bike and (as our youngest is away at a residential with his school) we took him out to dinner as a treat as it's super rare we only have just one kid in the house. But I'm getting the old won't even engage in conversation with me which is like it was at the beginning of the year so really feeling like it's the anxiety playing up again. Sigh.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2022 8:45:19 GMT
Ah man, the cold/flu thing I totally identify with. It's plagued ours sinc ehe started getting anxious towards the end of P7 before the Summer. That's what he had Wednesday morning after being brilliant Tuesday night (and was fine again last night). You're definitely going through it worse than I am so far.
Is he getting grief from anyone specific?
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razz
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Post by razz on Sept 23, 2022 21:26:00 GMT
Wife has gone into hospital, going to be induced. I'm afraid. Aargh
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Bongo Heracles
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Sept 23, 2022 21:28:53 GMT
S/he picked a hell of a week to be born! Good luck!
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Post by Dougs on Sept 23, 2022 21:41:24 GMT
Good luck Razz!
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Sept 23, 2022 22:07:24 GMT
How exciting mate, the greatest vibes to you both 👍❤️
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2022 3:30:11 GMT
Good luck/congrats, Razz Sr!
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 24, 2022 7:41:45 GMT
Dragged the eldest off to the docs on Thursday afternoon, his 3rd day off school this week, I know there's nothing physically seriously wrong but going through the motions, also the school expects nothing less after the year we've had, the dopey doctor said quite matter of fact that he should stay off for the rest of the week, obviously that was red rag to a bull, thanks for that doc! That said to his credit on Friday morning he said he could do the afternoon session at school, much relief all round so at least the the week ended positively, even if it did cost me some poxy vbucks.
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RobEG
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Post by RobEG on Sept 26, 2022 9:46:19 GMT
The boy tested positive for covid this morning. Been a bit bunged over the weekend but was so tired this morning and wouldn’t get out of bed. Which is very unlike him.
He got it really mild back in feb so hopefully same again this time. No idea what the current variant is like though.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 26, 2022 9:54:19 GMT
Good luck!
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RobEG
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Post by RobEG on Sept 26, 2022 12:27:37 GMT
Thanks, he seems fine so far!
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razz
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Post by razz on Sept 26, 2022 14:43:54 GMT
My baby girl was born via ceaserean at 2am Sunday morning weighing 2.9kg / 6.3lbs. Mum is doing well, but has a long recovery ahead and is getting some sleep. Baby is currently fast sleep on my belly whilst I cry my eyes out. First skin to skin so I'm a bit emotional 😅
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H-alphaFox
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Post by H-alphaFox on Sept 26, 2022 14:46:41 GMT
Congrats razz, wishing the best for all of you!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2022 14:50:41 GMT
razz Big congrats man. Glad new baby and mum are doing well.
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Post by Dougs on Sept 26, 2022 15:35:26 GMT
Great news Razz!
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