JonFE
Junior Member
Uncomfortably numb...
Posts: 1,465
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Post by JonFE on Jan 7, 2024 22:10:21 GMT
Sincere condolences kal. I know it's just words from a stranger, but you are welcome to vent here anytime...
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mikeck
Junior Member
Posts: 1,670
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Post by mikeck on Jan 7, 2024 22:20:41 GMT
Sorry to hear this kal, FCUTA
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mrpon
Junior Member
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Member is Online
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Post by mrpon on Jan 7, 2024 22:32:52 GMT
So sorry kal, look after yourself.
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Post by FlexibleFeline on Jan 8, 2024 7:18:19 GMT
Really sorry to read the news kal . My father passed away last week, not from cancer but quite unexpectedly, so I can relate. Stay strong. Very sorry to hear this. My condolences.
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Post by FlexibleFeline on Jan 8, 2024 7:19:14 GMT
My dad passed today. I’ll spare you the cliches but they’re all true. Pretty much the last thing I said to him was that Arsenal lost which felt fitting. I'm very sorry for your loss kal.
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Post by FlexibleFeline on Jan 8, 2024 7:24:20 GMT
Sorry to hear about your father, kal. Hospices are wonderful places, imo. I realise this sounds strange, but I’ve never been anywhere else where everybody works with such a shared belief in what they’re doing, and be so focused on the wellbeing of their patients. There’s always all kinds of mixed emotions, like you say. But if there’s one thing I know, if he’s in a hospice, he’s getting the best care he can.
Felt the same when my mum was on an end of life ward. Never known such kindness, to mum and the rest of us. Truly humbling. Exactly the same here. My Mum was in East Cheshire Hospice in July for her final week. It's obviously contradictory but it was the most life-affirming place - that amongst such shittiness there was such goodness, kindness and care. Their professionalism was humbling. It genuinely makes me well up thinking about it.
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Post by motti82 on Jan 8, 2024 9:27:13 GMT
Sorry to hear about your father kal, make sure you take care of yourself and your loved ones.
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Post by Fake_Blood on Jan 8, 2024 9:46:24 GMT
Take care kal. I imagine it might be a hectic couple of days, I hope you can give it a place in time.
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drakesmoke
Junior Member
The simple things in life are all complicated
Posts: 1,726
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Post by drakesmoke on Jan 8, 2024 10:00:39 GMT
Sorry to Kal, Jon, Jr all the members recently affected by this and by loss. I lost my cousin at 42 (!) to this last year so it has been very difficult to even open this thread since.
I can’t imagine what you all must be going through with closer relatives.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
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Post by simple on Jan 8, 2024 10:02:08 GMT
So sorry for your loss Kal. Much love to you and your family.
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Post by rhaegyr on Jan 8, 2024 12:09:22 GMT
Really sorry to hear that kal, hope you and the family are coping okay. Same to you both JonFE and JuniorFE
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Post by tincanrocket on Jan 8, 2024 12:22:38 GMT
Sincere condolences, kal - so sorry to hear about your dad passing, and condolences also to Jon and Junior. How I hate seeing this thread bumped Thinking of you all and sending positive vibes
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Derblington
Junior Member
Did you know I have a girlfriend
Posts: 1,819
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Post by Derblington on Jan 8, 2024 12:25:30 GMT
I really hate this thread. So sorry for your loss, Kal.
A mate's wife lost her dad yesterday also. There's no good time for it, but it seems worse when it's around holidays/family time.
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Post by jeepers on Jan 8, 2024 12:41:12 GMT
I’m sorry to hear that Kal - all the best to you and family.
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Post by quadfather on Jan 8, 2024 14:12:16 GMT
So sorry Kal. I hope that you and your family can help and support each other. It really does help. Take good care.
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Post by barchetta on Jan 8, 2024 16:59:24 GMT
So sorry for your loss Kal. Revel in what you had and hope you and the family stay strong and support each other.
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kal
Full Member
Posts: 8,309
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Post by kal on Jan 8, 2024 17:10:04 GMT
Thanks everyone. It’s weird that a bunch of people I’ve never met and probably mostly been quite obnoxious to are a support network, but you are, and I appreciate the lot of you.
Today was brutal. Phoning his loved ones was a truly awful task. Each time you kind of vicariously relive your own loss through theirs. Awful. Telling my dad’s estranged older brother the news and having him pour out his regrets was not something I was ready for.
Gonna pour myself a stiff one now.
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Post by kingbambino on Jan 8, 2024 17:16:36 GMT
Really sorry to hear this Kal
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Post by Dougs on Jan 8, 2024 17:26:01 GMT
Hang on in there mate. It's trite but also true. Things do get easier, especially after the funeral. Make sure you look after yourself and your loved ones too. Easy to neglect yourself whilst being the strong one etc. Take the time you need to grieve and it goes without saying that you can vent here.
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Post by quadfather on Jan 8, 2024 17:27:57 GMT
Thanks everyone. It’s weird that a bunch of people I’ve never met and probably mostly been quite obnoxious to are a support network, but you are, and I appreciate the lot of you. Today was brutal. Phoning his loved ones was a truly awful task. Each time you kind of vicariously relive your own loss through theirs. Awful. Telling my dad’s estranged older brother the news and having him pour out his regrets was not something I was ready for. Gonna pour myself a stiff one now. Yes, it's fucking difficult. But you got through it. And that's that done now. Tomorrow will bring its own events. For now, maybe see if you can get some solace to balance things out for a bit.
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Post by quadfather on Jan 8, 2024 17:28:33 GMT
And what Dougs said
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mcmonkeyplc
Junior Member
General Martok Qapla!
Posts: 2,796
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Post by mcmonkeyplc on Jan 8, 2024 18:38:16 GMT
Sorry for you loss kal. ☹️
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Solid-SCB-
Full Member
Cyberpunk 2077 #1 Fan
Posts: 5,688
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Post by Solid-SCB- on Jan 8, 2024 19:15:14 GMT
Sorry for your loss, Kal.
Putting some of your feelings into words is a step that shouldn't be underestimated, even if they have been amongst a bunch of nerds and Arsenal fans, the posts in the last few pages will have taken a lot of strength. Can only wish you the best in this difficult time.
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Post by eleven63 on Jan 8, 2024 19:35:47 GMT
Sorry for your loss Kal.
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wunty
Full Member
Pastry Forward
Posts: 5,135
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Post by wunty on Jan 9, 2024 9:40:55 GMT
So sorry to read that kal, you have my most sincere condolences.
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Post by motti82 on Jan 9, 2024 18:09:02 GMT
Working in a Bereavements department, I hear a lot of phone calls where one or both parties on the ends of the phoneline break down and have a little cry and that's perfectly fine.
Grief can hit people differently. Some prefer to "get it all done quickly" so they can move on, and others need time to heal and completely understand and handle the situation.
Make sure you speak to your family and loved ones. Tell them what's on your mind, your feelings, your thought process. That can be at any time, not just once someone has passed away.
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kal
Full Member
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Post by kal on Jan 16, 2024 19:29:36 GMT
Funeral tomorrow. I’m really dreading it. Just about holding it together but I think it might get messy.
I’m also finding the constant phone calls from relatives very difficult. I’m sure they all mean well but it’s not a conversation I want to keep having. Messages of condolences are well received but honestly I find the calls intrusive and inconsiderate.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jan 16, 2024 19:56:58 GMT
Unfortunately it just comes with the territory, it sucks but it just is but you know that anyway. It's a cliche buy once the funeral is over it's a chance to start moving forward, I think you might surprise yourself, sure you might be in a bits or whatever but that's OK, how involved are you in the proceedings/order of the day, if you care to answer?
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Frog
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Post by Frog on Jan 16, 2024 20:04:33 GMT
You are very entitled to just not answer calls u til you feel in a place where you feel like it. You are allowed to have peace when you want it because everybody grieves I'm their own way. People will understand if you distance yourself for a bit, and if they don't that's on them. Never feel obliged to speak to others of you don't feel up to it.
Good luck with the funeral, it ruined me doing my mum's but that's fine and nobody has expectations of how you should react.
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kal
Full Member
Posts: 8,309
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Post by kal on Jan 16, 2024 20:10:40 GMT
I’m doing a eulogy with my brothers. There’s four of us so if anyone can’t do it there’s others to take over. Very grateful for siblings right now. Must be very tough to lose parents as an only child.
Yeah I’ve stopped answering my phone and then just text back after.
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