Are you a GLADIATOOOOR?

Nah, the beam was legit. It may not seem it but coming off the zip line is quite disorienting. Matt had to jump off the beam because he put his hand down to steady himself.

At times I’ve wondered how rigged the games are though - I refuse to believe Viper is that useless at Duel, and I’m pretty sure Bronte was basically gifted points in the semi-final because Betti had pissed off some of the Gladiators.

#notmybetti

Absolute shenanigans on the gauntlet, how you can say Marie Louise was just as good as Bronte by giving them both 10 points is nonsense.

Starting with Gauntlet are we fucking joking

Athena drops the pretend bow every time she looses.

Slightly annoyed that Mary Louise won when Bronte has been way way better in almost all the events, but it was practically a neck and neck start so when it's an even eliminator if ML was faster then she should win it.

You could tell the male Gladiators were desperate to intervene in the bullshit that B&B were indulging in after Collision. And tbf they almost salvaged it into something watchable. They really really need to get some proper sports presenters for the next series and have just the gladiators provide the humour. It's great TV in spite of the Walshes, but it could be so much better with the right presenters to actually make it feel like a sport, get the hype going, they do none of that at the moment.

Bronte definitely looked like she struggled on both the ropes. On The Wall she thought about carrying on with Dynamite holding on, but Dynamite is fucking relentless. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the most effective female gladiator this series.

Great final, not without a few dodgy decisions. Brontë really bent the rules of always having g to be in motion in Collision, but it kept things competitive for the Eliminator so all good.

MVPs for me were Fury for the women, followed by Diamond, Sabre and Dynamite once she found her feet. For the men, Nitro is basically an unfair handicap on the wall and was good just about everywhere else. Bionic found his feet on Duel, and Legend was Legend.

Apollo is a charisma vacuum, Athena was pretty unimpressive, I’m not even sure I remember Electro in anything and Viper must be being useless on purpose as that’s the only explanation.

According to this reddit post Dynamite is far and away the overall best scoring gladiator, male or female.

And he even shows how it breaks down as a scoring average, where she remains second only to Bionic who rockets up to 1st with his 3 events averaging at 9 points per event to her 7 averaging 6.57

Post Gladiator conversation with the missus.

Me: If you were a gladiator what name would you choose?

Her: Urrr. Panther, probably.

Me: You suck. Mine would be Tampon.

Her: (heavy sigh) Why?

Me: Because I’d fight to the bloody end.

Her: *leaves room

Basically he won because he’s good at assault courses.

The Eliminator IS a gladiator, durrr

I have not really been considering it as actually competitive. Considering they have the heel characters thrown any game they're in or that week everyone fucked around not using pads in gauntlet.

Fury for me though. Might just be the ex rugby thing though.

The rules of Gauntlet make no sense. No holding? Erm, what?

Good fun that. Watched it quite a lot early on, then life got in the way. Whilst I don't massively suspect shenanigans with the games themselves, I do think the audition process is suspect. No way all the contenders are that good looking and personable in front of the camera.