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Post by Dougs on Oct 7, 2021 9:56:28 GMT
Yeah, that sounds very traumatic and worthy of a couple
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Post by quadfather on Oct 7, 2021 11:33:01 GMT
Christ, I need a drink after reading that!
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dmukgr
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Post by dmukgr on Oct 7, 2021 12:02:58 GMT
Yeah, although it is good that she won't be haunted by a death or life changing injury. As Doug says, allowances can be made for that in terms of having a drink. It's a one off after all.
Virtually every night now I am saying to myself, "Jimmy, you need to stop drinking so much".
Fortunately my name isn't Jimmy.
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Post by rawshark on Oct 7, 2021 20:36:05 GMT
Damn. I went into the back of someone in the right hand lane of a motorway a few years back (considering the thread - should mention I was absolutely stone cold sober). Knot in the traffic and I was going too fast - I should have known better. My car was fucked. But their car was somehow relatively unscathed. Other than the shock everyone was ok.
All I can think about is how lucky I was that no one got hurt. My ex-girlfriend was in the passenger seat and if it weren’t for her I might not have slammed on the brakes when I did. I would never have forgiven myself if she or the people in the other car (who were remarkably good sports about the whole thing) had been injured. I still beat myself up about it.
Forgive me if I hog the middle lane forevermore.
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Post by dfunked on Oct 7, 2021 20:45:05 GMT
We've been great at sticking to weekends only for the past month or so, but it was all too easy to say yes to a drink this evening, which is soon to turn into my third vodka + whatever random fruit juice we have in the fridge.
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Post by elstoof on Oct 7, 2021 20:53:30 GMT
Sipping an Erdinger Alkohol-Frei, Friday tomorrow
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2021 21:16:20 GMT
Been having whisky all week so took the night off.
Erm. Bought wine instead 😕
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Post by whatthefu on Oct 7, 2021 21:30:48 GMT
I've been drinking too much for about a year. Probably due to lockdowns, maybe something else I won't go into.
Sticking to beer has been a positive though, I used to drink spirits and forget going to bed or wake up and see that I had been sick the night before. I wish I didn't feel the need to drink, but life is hard.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2021 3:23:09 GMT
I've been drinking too much for about a year. Probably due to lockdowns, maybe something else I won't go into. Sticking to beer has been a positive though, I used to drink spirits and forget going to bed or wake up and see that I had been sick the night before. I wish I didn't feel the need to drink, but life is hard. There's no problem that drink can't make worse as they say. I'm glad you're off the spirits and that you've seen you're drinking too much. As someone who has been there and who has gone through some stuff and continues to do so, I don't think I'd still be alive if I still drunk. It was hard quitting (at times I felt like my throat was as dry as the Sahara and that it seemed alcohol was all around me tempting me) and it felt very raw and exposed not having the "safety blanket" to hide behind. However, if it helps anyone, 5 years later, I wish I'd quit years ago. I realise alcohol wasted a lot of my time, money and life. I made some stupid mistakes with alcohol and it affected my career and relationships when it got it's claws in me. I wasted so much time and money with it. Years and bloody years until finally I had one hangover too many. I tried cutting back, but that made the hangovers hurt more (when it was Friday so it was okay to have a few) and the temptation to binge was always there. I spent 30 years drinking above the government guidelines (but doesn't everyone as I told myself, turns out that no they don't). Thankfully I met someone who drank a healthy amount which put my drinking into perspective and I could no longer kid myself that I didn't have a problem. Trying to moderate (I can't, it creeps back up) and then trying to quit showed me that I really did. Life is not easy without alcohol, but I'm done hiding from it. I made the decision to never drink again so that I can make the most of what time I've got left and to see-finally-what life is like without the stuff. So far it's better. I have weekends, I have money, I can do well at work rather than function, I have to deal with things rather than avoiding them (that's not easy, but it's better for me), my health and appearance are better (and the latter I need all the help I can get these days). It's not all good though I'll be honest. I lost my friends through going sober (who wants to go to the pub with a guy who has an orange? I know I never did) and as I say, life can be a bit raw without the blanket to numb it. You do feel exposed at times. You also don't get the highs that alcohol gives (but you don't get the lows either). But that said, watching people on alcohol and listening to what they (and once I) find hysterical, I'm okay without that. It can be hard to socialise as alcohol seems so central in the UK, at least in the way of life I led. You don't walk into a coffee shop and start up a conversation with someone like you can in a pub. So it can be a bit lonely, especially at first. People can think you're a bit weird not drinking (just like I used to). Tldr I hope things get better for you. Quitting drinking was hard for me but I am really really glad I did it and have no regrets, even if it doesn't magically make life easy. |
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Post by Dougs on Oct 8, 2021 5:39:17 GMT
We've been round this buoy before at the other place. This country's relationship with booze is fucked. As you say, it makes it so much harder. A lot of my social life revolves around catching up with mates over a beer - whether that's at football, neighbours at the weekend or seeing old friends/work colleagues. Some of that isn't easy to replicate. It's definitely somewhere I want to get to, just not quite ready for that even more lonely existence yet though. If that sounds like an excuse, it's because it is really. Still, at least I recognise that!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2021 6:35:12 GMT
Oops. Apologies for the "4am in the middle of a migraine" post. I woke worrying about what I'd posted and I'm in no way at all wanting to denigrate or anything those who drink. I had (and still have) a problem for many years and I've done most of the things and more in this thread. I tried a number of times to quit and for me it was not easy as I've an addiction. Even as recently as last week my mum was saying I should have a few drinks again so I can get out and meet people. I had to remind her (and myself and that little voice inside) that for me at least there's no such thing as "a few drinks". I was going to delete my post, but it's had some likes so I won't. However, I agree Doug's, it's not flaming easy at all in this country. It's bloody tough.
On the plus side, it's nearly the weekend and I've got you lot as virtual friends. My migraine can do one though. Now I've just got to manage to get out of bed without vomiting.
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marcp
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Post by marcp on Oct 8, 2021 14:47:51 GMT
Oops. Apologies for the "4am in the middle of a migraine" post. I woke worrying about what I'd posted and I'm in no way at all wanting to denigrate or anything those who drink. I had (and still have) a problem for many years and I've done most of the things and more in this thread. I tried a number of times to quit and for me it was not easy as I've an addiction. Even as recently as last week my mum was saying I should have a few drinks again so I can get out and meet people. I had to remind her (and myself and that little voice inside) that for me at least there's no such thing as "a few drinks". I was going to delete my post, but it's had some likes so I won't. However, I agree Doug's, it's not flaming easy at all in this country. It's bloody tough. On the plus side, it's nearly the weekend and I've got you lot as virtual friends. My migraine can do one though. Now I've just got to manage to get out of bed without vomiting. Nah, I'm glad you did. You've articulated a lot of things that have been swirling about my head for a while now. The plain truth is that I'd be absolutely terrified to try giving up completely, but moderating certainly isn't working anymore. If it ever did. |
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Post by drhickman1983 on Oct 8, 2021 15:21:15 GMT
For me, I can control my drinking more if I'm in company. Most of socialising tends to be at friends houses so I'll only have four beers or so.
My issue is the drinking at home, if I have a drink whilst online gaming I'll just keep continuing after the session has ended, watching banal and asinine YouTube clips. My intake isn't as great as some but it's frequently more than intended - I didn't intend to stay up until 2 last night drinking whisky but there we go. Felt like shit this morning too.
I'm terrible at moderating anything. If it's there I'm likely to consume it, whether that's biscuits or crisps or beer or whisky.
I've started to buy multi-packs of pop on the basis that sugar-free cola or lemonade is better than beer, and can end up drinking 5 or 6 cans in an evening. It's pretty much just compulsive at this point.
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Post by drhickman1983 on Oct 19, 2021 17:52:24 GMT
Infinite's IPA is actually a decent alcohol free (well, 0.5%) beer. It doesn't have the cloying aftertaste some AF beers have, nor does it taste over carbonated like some others.
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Post by clemfandango on Oct 19, 2021 18:04:11 GMT
I’m still on three days a week. But I can’t shake that mid week drink. I’m off to the United match tomorrow which is in hospitality so that will be a drinking and eating session...
I’m down to three bottles of wine and 6 large beers a week. Which is better than I was doing and easily manageable, but no where near my target. I’m just hoping I can gradually keep on reducing and hit one bottle of wine and 6 beers a week (two nights). I’d be happy with that.
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Post by elstoof on Oct 19, 2021 18:15:46 GMT
Guinness 0.0 is pretty good! Close to the real deal
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Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2021 19:24:48 GMT
I used to like Bavaria Holland and Erdinger AF. Sainsbury's sparkling white wine wasn't bad either. I never found a red that tasted any good though. What helped me in the end was going back to all my childhood favourite soft drinks that I used to love. I had stacks of them of all different types for a while. It was nice rediscovering them and discovering why years ago I first thought beer tasted horrible in comparison. I've still got a couple of fantas in the fridge at the moment  PS if you're wanting to cut down, then stay hydrated. Your body can confuse normal thirst for "wanting a beer". |
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Post by dfunked on Oct 19, 2021 20:25:08 GMT
I drink so much water during the day that I need something a little different in the evening. Doesn't have to be alcoholic, just anything other than another bloody pint of water! Ginger beer is probably my go to soft drink at the mo (plus it mixes nicely with rum or vodka!)
We've been pretty good with weeknight drinking for the past couple of months now. Had one "fuck it Thursday" a couple of weeks ago, but that's it.
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Post by Danno on Oct 19, 2021 20:41:47 GMT
I drink so much water during the day that I need something a little different in the evening. Doesn't have to be alcoholic, just anything other than another bloody pint of water! Ginger beer is probably my go to soft drink at the mo (plus it mixes nicely with rum or vodka!) We've been pretty good with weeknight drinking for the past couple of months now. Had one "fuck it Thursday" a couple of weeks ago, but that's it. Ginger beer is my go to when I'm trying to cut back. Pickled chillies help a lot as well, a nibble on a slice of jalopeno and it seems to keep my face distracted from wanting a beer for a while |
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Post by Dave_McCoy on Jan 3, 2022 15:51:56 GMT
I need to stop drinking so much. I honestly reckon it will kill me if I keep going so I'm going to try and seriously cut back. I'll start with drink free days as cold turkey won't work. I have downloaded an app to track my drinking hoping that will shame me in to drinking less
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Post by rawshark on Jan 7, 2022 0:02:44 GMT
My girlfriend moves in a couple of days ago. It turns out it’s much easier to not drink when I’m not left to my own devices. If it were just me on my own I’d probably have cracked by now but with her around to keep an eye on me it’s been a dry 2022 so far. Long may it reign.
I do miss my morning wanks though. Balls are getting pretty blue.
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Post by Lurker on Feb 8, 2022 9:28:50 GMT
Following on from the self-improvement thread I did 30 days of dry Jan and a comment there made me realise it was probably the longest I've been without a drink since my teens (I'm a couple of years off 50) which is bad.
I tried moderation this weekend but it was straight back to my old ways.
I've decided to have another break and do the rest of Feb, then aim for Easter if I can.
The worst bit for me is that once I stop drinking I don't sleep as my brain won't switch off (it's already 2 days without sleep again) but as my wife was saying to me if I don't do something I'll have worse problems to deal with.
I thought I'd resurrect this as there were a few good comments in the other thread and I wondered how others were getting on with cut backs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2022 11:33:08 GMT
Good luck Lurker. The forum I used to be when I was quitting and helping others no longer exists. I think it took me about 5 years before I was able to quit for good. I had a lot of "back to day 1's".
Bright Eyes forum was thought of as pretty good back in the day if you want some proper help. I'm not sure what it's like now though.
I was different to you, I thought "oh I managed 30 days, I don't have a problem" and went back to having a problem quite happily. It wook me a lot of years before I realised that everyone didn't drink as much as I did.
I've just done a course on sleep problems. Main points it said were:
1. Don't nap during the day
2. Have a good bedroom environment (right temp, comfy mattress, decent bedding, uncluttered)
3. Have a routine
4. Don't do anything in bed apart from sleep and sex.
5. If you can't sleep for more than 20 minutes then get up so you don't associate your bed with not sleeping
6. Avoid alcohol, caffeiene and drugs
7. Avoid worrying about sleeping (journel of you are worrying or try relaxation techniques - ignoring those worries makes them worse)
8. Figure out how much sleep you need (some people only need 4 hours)
As for drink, as I've said the benefits of quitting far outweigh the negatives. Benefits are:
1. Much more money
2. More time
3. No Hangovers (weekends got too precious to waste for me)
4. No alcohol related health risks (various cancers and liver damage)
5. Not going to lose my licence the morning after / I can always drive when I need to
6. Look better (eyes and skin are clearer)
7. Feel better (alcohol has a long term depressant effect - not just while its in you as I thought was the case)
8. You can start facing your issues / healing rather than hiding from them as I was doing with alcohol
9. Rediscover foods (alcohol numbs taste buds and makes you want sugar more)
10. Not having to buy a new chair because you font geek so good
There are loads of other benefits (alcohol weakens your immune system, damages the nervous system, causes permanent brain damage over time, leads to ulcers and acid reflux (I had the latter bad), can impact the heart etc etc) but the above is more than enough. Basically ethanol, the base of alcohol is a poison that damages every organ in your body (its a small molecule so it can get everywhere).
TLDR: It will make you live longer and feel better if you quit. Its not easy though and if you have a real problem, then seek advice before quitting as it can kill you to quit.
Sorry for the long post, I spent a lot of years thinking I didn't have a problem as everyone I knew drunk heavily. I wasted so much time and money getting wasted and I screwed up so many things when I was drunk. I wish I'd never started drinking. At least my kids are seeing that their parents don't think its normal to drink. I also spent a lot of time laughing at the "boring bastards" who didn't drink and telling people "I'm going to die of something, so it might as well be something I enjoy" and thinking I was funny.
Quitting hasn't solved all my problems, but its got rid of a lot of them and its helped me be able to notice the other issues I've been hiding from and start to work on them.
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Post by Dougs on Feb 8, 2022 12:19:54 GMT
All excellent points, and as has been discussed in this thread more than once, something I identify with a lot.
I am still trying to moderate my consumption. I didn't manage a totally dry January but did only have a couple of drinks on 3 occasions. Since then I have managed not to drink midweek still. Was away last weekend so definitely overindulged. Will see how this weekend goes.
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Post by pierrepressure on Feb 8, 2022 12:35:42 GMT
I've pretty much stopped drinking now after the last time I posted when we were over at Eurogamer.
I still have the odd bottle of beer with a meal or glass of wine but can go weeks without touching the stuff or feeling the compulsion to drink.
Getting shitfaced is thankfully a thing of the past although it has made things quite difficult with friends who are not about to give up that kind of life. I've been left out of a few nights out but I really don't mind, I feel a bit of a buzz kill when I'm invited so probably best left out if they want to go for a piss up.
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Post by Dougs on Feb 8, 2022 12:42:45 GMT
That's one of the hardest things to let go of. A lot/all of my socialising revolves around booze. Whether just a catch up with neighbours or family, or a proper arranged session. Tbh, it's the home drinking I need a better handle on. It's just far too easy.
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Post by eleven63 on Feb 8, 2022 13:14:32 GMT
Since my high blood pressure scare, I'm only having a drink on Friday evenings, red wine or Guinness.
That will probably go out there window as the weather gets sunnier, the evenings longer, etc. But for now, I'm happy for the (forced) change. I've already lost weight!
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Post by unrealkilla on Feb 8, 2022 13:18:01 GMT
I've been sober since September last year after being a functioning alcoholic for 25 years. I still feel as though I'm slowly waking up from being asleep for 25 years. I was drinking a litre of vodka every day plus beers during lockdown.
A couple of years ago I had a change in financial circumstances which meant my income far exceeds the amount I need to live on, even comfortably. I was spending around £400 on alcohol per month, so adding that money saved as well I'm absolutely killing it.
Plus yeah, I look better, feel better, think better, better able to control my temper and emotions. I feel like the future is there for me to take. I still get fucking angry sometimes though.
I still go to pubs and parties, but I'm on ginger beer or last time I tried some 0% stuff for the first time, and the 0% pilsner wasn't too bad.
This all came about finally due to an alcohol related medical emergency I suffered last year and the doctor finally sitting me down and having "the talk."
But honestly I felt relieved because I always knew the day would come eventually. I'm just a bit regretful it took so long, what with all the money, life and time wasted.
Being teetotal 9.5/10 would recommend.
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Post by Danno on Feb 8, 2022 13:37:35 GMT
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Post by Lurker on Feb 8, 2022 13:53:30 GMT
No worries, I think it helps with re-enforcement and focus. Reading all the other posts is good too and very relatable, definitely a well done to you who have quit! For me, I think the 30 days I did was slightly de-motivating, if you go-to the gym for example you can plot your gains where-as this seems different. I will have to try and adjust my thinking for this. Similar to you Witchking my wife doesn't drink, which I think is a great advantage. I met her about 10 years ago and it helped me tone it down to begin with. I think lockdown has a lot to answer for as I slipped into daily drinking and got worse and worse. Lie most, I use alcohol when I'm stressed out and over the past 18 months I've lost family and friends, some to illness some to suicides and I've kind of been there to help them whilst juggling a job that generally means 10-12 hour days. Over Christmas my wife said she wanted to say something sooner but understood drinking was probably keeping me from going insane, but it had reached a point where my daily intake was worrying her so I did the 30 days. She doesn't mind me having a "little drink" but the weekend proved I'm not able to do that (yet? or ever? I'm not sure). I think like a few of you have said about losing friends I'm expecting something similar as my mates are absolute beasts, our nights out are serious piss ups and no way will they accept what I'm doing but health is more important. Thanks for that, interesting read, I hope you're ok man! |
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