Random Musings

If you really want to be enthusiastic about vacuum performance, another pro tip is to not buy a Dyson.

What do you do when it's one of those Dyson sinks? Lick your hands?

Not sure which dyson hand dryer is worse, the one where you slot your hands in the narrow top opening and inevitably touch the filthy plastic sides, or the one with the single blade aimed directly at you legs and feet

I like how they have got into headphones and have used the same horrible 90s design language so everyone immediately hates them.

I was on my way home from the pub just now, and I had what I can honestly say was the most bizarre experience of my life.

Very slightly inebriated (thankyou, the Strongbow people), headphones in, right hand doing the drum beat of Incubus; "Under My Umbrella", when I feel someone tap me on the shoulder.

I turn round half expecting to be mugged. You know when someone has been on drugs for quite a while and they look like they could be any age between their mid 20s and early 40s? She was one of those.

Bordering on hysterical tone of voice, she says "Excuse me, sorry to bother you, can you help me find my meat?"

I think I must have misheard, even after asking for clarification more than once, and she leads me over to this parked car across the road and says "It's under there" and I'm convinced that she's said "Beat" and she's lost a headphone or something.

I get my torch up on my phone, start waving it under this car so she can look under it, she says "There, it's there!"... I look, and to my utter fucking bafflement, she really did mean "Meat" because under the car, there is a plastic wrapped wodge of gammon, looking fresh from the supermarket despite it being gone midnight.

She wants to hold my phone while I reach for it, I'm still suspicious that she's trying to rob me so I refuse to relinquish the phone, try to reach under the car for the thing, and my fingertips graze it just enough to knock it further out of reach. I say "Sorry love, you're going to need a long stick or something" and she then runs up to the front window of the house the car is parked outside, starts banging on it and shouting "Excuse me, I need help, can you move your car?"

At this point I am done with this, I say "Good luck with that love" and I walk very quickly away from the scene.

And now I'm home, and for one irrational nano-second, I wonder, horrified, if I'm going to end up on some sort of national register of people who refuse to retrieve meat from under cars.

I hate living in a small town

It's like a fairytale. Will the hero retrieve the strange item for the mysterious woman at midnight, or will he prove too faint of heart?

If you had retrieved it Mike, she would've turned into a princess and the meat was actually an everlasting tin of baked beans.

Quite a hammy situation for sure. Glad it didn’t get too Inside No 9!

You are a brave man even partially entertaining that woman.

I've been down quite the rabbit hole today. The Algorithm made me read about controversial Oscar speeches. Apparently Sacheen Littlefeather, the Native American activist who Marlon Brando sent to decline his Oscar in 1973, is actually not Native American at all.

Obviously, I end up on Wikipedia reading about racial misrepresentation. Remember Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP chapter leader, activist and academic who turned out to be white? She went on to be a teacher, until the bosses found her Only Fans: www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/14/rachel-dolezal-nkechi-diallo-onlyfans-arizona-school-fired

Meat cylinder

Aw Mike, that was great but you should have got her meat for her!

BIG crossover between The Wire and The Walking Dead. Some great casting there.

I'm puzzled