Random Musings

I think (or hope) they're just winding me up but it's obviously working.

As long as I don't get my eyebrows and/or head shaved I can deal with what they throw at me. I think.

I went on a bunch in my thirties of varying severity. Specifically 2 in Hamburg, 2 in Amsterdam and 1 in Benidorm (I was best man for that).

Some kind of tutu or cheerleading outfit was de riguer at about half of them.

At one of the Amsterdam ones there was a stripper/lap dance arranged for the top floor of a steak house we ate at. This involved having trousers pulled down (not boxers) and everybody laughing at the poor c*nt’s wee boner. There was also a lady little person dressed a Smurf handcuffed to the stag on one, who ended up knocked out cold by a toilet door being flung open.

As a previous poster suggested, have a word in the shell of the best man maybe that you won’t be impressed by that kind of sh*te. I’d be furious now in my 40s at any of that and anything like eyebrows that is going to last past the ‘do’ is bang out of order.

If you’re the average age on this forum and are 40 plus it may not be a problem by default now., you hope people have grown out of it. In fact a few of the same crowd I spotted on a stag on Facey last week going axe throwing and for a mild bar crawl/meal in the city centre and that was it. I think once people get to the age they have more responsibilities (possibly including families) setting away to The Solana or a sex tourist destination is less normalised.*

Either way, it’s your best man’s job to keep you alive and safe so the BM should be/stay the soberest of you all ideally. I literally had to put my stag in the recovery position and sleep back to back with him to prevent him rolling over and potentially dying of vomit inhalation. That was *after* I took one for the team on one of the ‘death pints’ our dickhead crowd had plied him with, so Christ knows what they managed to slip past me.

*If you’re under about 35 you’re probably f*cked.

Edited for terrible initial writing

The Heinz weather sponsorship on itv gets on my tits. They keep showing fish fingers and beans. Where's the fucking chips you monsters?

Other half asked what I fancied for dinner this week and I suggested chicken burgers, which is a staple in the cubby household. She replied that we can't have that as it's Ultra Processed Food.

Me:

It's a common tactic employed by Reddit dickheads. Just ignore it and remember that a good percentage of the people on there don't ever leave their homes nor do they interact with people in real life in the outside world. This is the only level of power/control they'll ever have in their lives.

I guess something to do with a whip?

discombobulated, because I like that word.

It is probably devastated though.

It's also an awful american 80s band who I still blame for interstate '82. Possibly unfairly.

It's also used by a lot of pro Russia and pro Israel trolls at the moment.

I knew @drakesmoke was dodgy 

Curious. I just got a Reddit Cares notice. I haven't written in any political groups or anything. I guess it's just cunts being cunts. Good ol' Reddit.

To @drakesmoke just above, yeah. It's kind of a rite of passage at this point, if you've pissed off the kind of person that would send a troll RedditCare you're doing something right (can't remember if I've had one myself, but then again the communities I'm in typically don't suffer such fools gladly, so...)

The only reason reddit isn't the worst place on the internet is because of one Musk. E., and they probably view that role as active competition, so I wouldn't read too much into it.

You just gotta know where to be, except it's usually easier to do that on there than it is on Twitter