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Post by elstoof on Nov 6, 2021 18:42:09 GMT
Robocop was a robot cop. I’m talking about a robot son of god, a mechanical Jesus who can walk on water and turn water into wine
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Post by Jambowayoh on Nov 6, 2021 18:43:43 GMT
Wouldn't a robot Jesus turn water into nanomachines or at least Castrol?
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Post by elstoof on Nov 6, 2021 18:46:21 GMT
If doing that would repent for our original sin then sure, why not
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Post by ignatiusjreilly on Nov 6, 2021 18:53:38 GMT
Who likes jesus, no one, that's who. Sure you'll hit big with the bible belt box office, ala Gibbo but you aint winning any awards or critical recognition. I assume you are aiming for critical acclaim rather than box office with this idea.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2021 18:53:42 GMT
Pretty sure robot jesus would just rust after walking on water.
I do like the idea of a robosaviour though. Can he speak random jesus quotes?
"Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day."
As he's cutting sinners into red ribbons with a fucking minigun.
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Post by Danno on Nov 6, 2021 18:59:25 GMT
Pretty sure robot jesus would just rust after walking on water. I do like the idea of a robosaviour though. Can he speak random jesus quotes? "Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day." As he's cutting sinners into red ribbons with a fucking minigun. "Blessed are the meek" BBBBBRRŔRRRRRRŔRRRRRŔRRRRRRRRRRRRRRŔRRRKKKKKTTT
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Post by elstoof on Nov 6, 2021 19:06:11 GMT
He walks ON water not IN water. Do keep up. Anyway the fact he breaks down a lot and needs repairs is allegorical
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Post by 😎 on Nov 6, 2021 19:15:49 GMT
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with C̴i̸r̵c̸u̴i̵t̴s̴ ̸a̶n̷d̵ ̵d̵i̴o̸d̵e̴s̵ f̵̨̧̧̧̢̡̧̛̬͈̭̺̭͓͓̗̺͇̰͉̩̲͔͕̣̩͓̼͇̘̯̮̦̠͕̺̲͓̰̖̲̥͍̰̼͕͉̰̥̯̙͌̊̅̀͜͝͝e̴̛̛̗̘͈͉̠̳̯̬̍̀̋̑̈́͗͒͛͊̑͑͆̂̐͌̍̂͗͑͆́̈́͆͐̚̕̚͝ą̴̡̢̨̢̛̥̟̭̦̫͈̘̞͚̘̙͔͍̼̰͉̩͔̮̮͔͕̣̫̗͎̖̯̮͐̍̿͆̂̅̿́̽͊̅̋̅̍̔̆́̆̅͌͗͂͛̾̈́͌̀̓͊̔͒̆͊̌̂̑̽̾̒̄̀̅̋͛̅̚͘͝͠͝ͅş̶̧̱̟͕͎͇̮͍͉̻̙̰͚͈͔̝̬̩̫̦̯̤̺̠̳̝̜͕̗̜̻̼͍̫͚̠̙̊̆͌̌̋̽̐̿͘͜͠ͅͅt̴̡͎̟͓̠̬̲͕͔̺̫̱̼̖̭̮̬̠͙̥͉͙̗̘̮̘̩̬̗͓̹̝͖̦͔̙͉̦͈́̃͗̑̈́͗̈͐̔͑͒̂̇̿̊͑͒̎͜͝͝͠ ̷̨̨̰̥͎̬͇̗̞̻͈͚̭̮̟̆̍̈́́̊́̊̔̎̑̅̎̄͆͋̅́̈́͜ͅo̷̧̧̳̖̠̺͕̟̙̠̼̤̙͍̱͍̳͙̫̺͎̰̜̞͚̪̜̠͉͎̪̹̻͈̣̲̣̲͙̻̗͓͙͙̱͙̲̙̝̾̆͒̌͛̔͋͂̽̂́͐̕̚̚n̵̛͙̙̘̳̦̄̓̑̓̑̇̾͋̏̀͆̈́͂̑͌͆̒͛̌̀̉̆̐̔͋̌̈́͌́̾̄̋̋̽̈́̈́̓͘̕̚͘͠ ̵̛̦̰̮͙̲̝͙͚̩̈́̓͐̇̓̄̀̈́̏͗̏̽̆́̈́̾̀͒̀͒́̋̒́̎̂̃́̄̏̉̈̚̕̕͝͝t̵̹̲̦̩̗̰̬̱̜̋͗́h̷̨̨̡̛̛̩̤̰͈͓̩̺̙̻̗̭̗̮̫̗̼̺̥̘̝̘̳̺̬̥̠̻̪̣̱̯̠̙̬̫̳̟͓̪͈̙͔̞͈͛̄̓̎̎̓̀̀̉͗̽̏͆̋̍̈́̈́̑͊́̐̆̃́͛́́̈́̏̊͒̈́́́̀̀́̒́́̀͘̚̚͘͘͘͜͜͝͝͠͠͝͝ͅḛ̷̭̹̞̮̂̃̓̀̔̆́̆̊͘̕͝ ̶̡̢̛̛̛̛̯̙͖̼̱̜͖͉͓̦͉̠̠̪̠̝̳̭̗͖̠̫̼͔̙̤̞͈͕͙̊̿͐̃͂̔̌̿͑̐̏̇̐̾̌̇͑̇̽̑̔̍͆͘̕͝ͅm̶̢̧̢̛͕̘̖͍͉̣̬̼̞̠̳͂͆͒͌͌̀ȩ̷̡̨̧̡̡̢͉͍̮͓͖̞̟̳̤̫̰̱̜̤͕̠̫̤͚̮̭̳̃́̀́͆͒́͐̆̀͑̊͊͊́͊͑̑̐̋̑̏͊͐̍̍̀͘̚͘͠͝ắ̸̢̛̼͉͇̮̠͋̐͛̾̎̉̊͑͛͛͛̄̀̉̐̀̓́̈́͝͝͝͠͠t̴̡̢͚͕̯͍̥͙̤̩͇̺̱͉̻̆͋̀͆̒͂̅̔̓͑͆͊̑̐́̈́̀̄̀̎̊̂̈́̔̿͆̈́͛́̅̕͝͠͠ ̶̨̨̢̪̖̥̫̖̬͖͔̰̞̲͕̫͇̖͕̣̥̮̈͊̑͂̎͒̋̉̒̿̊̃͊̿͊̔̇̄̍̿̌̽͋͌̑̑̆̕͘͘͝ͅy̸̧̡̛͕̥̹̗͇̰͙͆̄͐͒̈́̈́̆̽͛̈́̉̔͐̄͑̔̂̓̅̓̈́̂̈́̉́̊̓̏̈́̚̚͝o̵̢̢͙̹̝͎͕̬̹̣̪̲̬͓͉̙̳͎̘͉̬̣̼̼̮̟͚̹̘̟̝̭̦̖͍͕͊̏͋͜͜͜u̴̡̨̫͖͕͉̞͚̬͇̼̗͍̫̜̥̘͙̬̭̦͉̟͌ͅ ̶̡̻͇̩̝̖̖̟͑͂̇̒̀̒̄͛̆̐͌̽͒͗͆̏́̃̐̈́͐̄̀̕̕͝͠ͅw̸̛̺͙͔͓̟͙̦̙͔͈͉̪̮̰͔̃̈́̅̾͊̓̇̎͊̋͌̓̿̇͌̿̍̿̄͊̍͌͘͜͠͝͠͝i̸̡̡̛͔̟̻̻͙͇̦̖̜̥̤̦͚̘̮̮̻̠͎̱̱̼̟͓̩̯̫͖̖̹̫̼̪̯̣̘͇͊̐̎̌̎̇̆̌̂́̉͒͜͜ͅļ̶̛̛̜̖̲̻̪̝̾̈́̈́̇̀́͌̅̈́̄̂̉̇̈́̉̔̂̋̏̾̆̿͐͒̐̽̊̾͒̀̀̒͗̿̒̀̈͐͌͐̾͑̚͜͝͠ļ̶̡̨̢̨̛̙̩͈̥̗̺̱̰̝̙̮̺͈̜̱̗͓͙̟̟̺̹͇̥͔͖̜̯̣̞͚̫̺͈̲͉̤̻̘̙̖̗̦̰͓͐̈́͗̌͗̎̽̄̾̈̂̒͒͒̏̌͛̎́̏̔̃̍̈̒̃͋̑̎̐̍̉͘͝͝͠ͅ ̴̧̧̧̡̰͚͖̰̤͎̹͎̳͔̦̘̘̻̹̥̤̯̩͎̞̬̜͖̋̊̊̂̍̋̔͗́̽̉̋͑̓͐̆̇̃́́̋͑̉̍̅̃́̏̓͂͒͘͘͝ͅs̸̛̛̥̳̹̦̬͙̟̩̈̎̽̎̄͗̐͐̅̆̏͛͂̌͌̈́͛̈́̈͌̓̀̌̌̒̐͋͋͌́̈́̉̾́̑̚̕͘̚͠͝͠ō̶̗͔͍͉̱͍̤͎͓̎͑͗̀͐͗́͒̈́̓͗̿̉̄̓̋̕̕ó̸̡̡͔̹͙̠̥̫̟͉̤̗̖̗͊̈́̑͋̒͘̚͝͠n̵̢̧̢̨̛̛͈̺̦̤͚̪͈̼͕̣̼̼͍̎͊̈́͗̔͂͋̂̃̈́̈́͂͂̽̋̈́̎̾̀͘̕͠ͅ ̴̨̧̡̛͇̙̳̬͖̯͉̥̘̳̎̋̇̇̋̂̔̀̾̓̌́̈̈́͆̈̔̈́̅̑͋̌̐̋͒̎̆̊́̔̕̕͝͝͝͠k̸̨̛͉̤̳͇̞̩̰̻̦̝̰͖̬̠̳̀͆̏̌͑͋̈́̈́͆̈́͌̍̐̇̆̇͛̂̑́͑̔̉̏̃͘n̶̛̟͈̦̰̱͎͋̑̃̌̎̈́́͒̎̽̇̊̇̓̊́͊͘͘ǭ̵̢͖͔͈͙̞̘̳̟̳̗̩͕̗̥̰̥̭̺͕̞̮̬̻̗̠̤̰̬͂̍͌͑͋̍̎̌̏̇̉̏̄̏̄̂̂̇̈̀͋̿̌̾̑̐̐̇̌̚͘̕̕̚͜͝͝ŵ̵̧̢̢̛͇̬̭͚͈̠̬̗̟͓͔̣̰͍̻̜̘̙͉͍̻͉̮͕̟̱̘͔̲̰͉̥̙̝̝̮̟̗̳͚̀̽͊͗͒̈́̿̄̅̎̇̔̚͜͠͠͠ ̵̢̧̨̧̧̧̨̡̛̭̼̪̬͓̯͎̲̙͇̞͍̲̥͇̳̜̝͉̭͚͉͕͔̰̪͙̞̜̟̠̭̰̺̻̲͇͖̦̦̘̻̋̌̏̑̏̈͂̀͗̈́̌̈́̑͆̈́̄̇͂̌̽͑́̎͌͂̐̈́́̒̓͒̂̋͌̄̓̒̏͘̕͘̕̚͘̕̕͜͜͝ͅn̸̡̢̛̩͕͎̩͚̪̗̲͔̣̮̼̻̼̻͖͖̙̙̤͐̂͒͂͐͋͗̂̂͑͋̃̊͑̀̆̎̈́́̽̆̓̂͛̽̏́̾͐̉̀͌͂̒̋̈̑̆̅͗̚̚̕͘͝͠͠͝͠͝͝ͅͅo̶̧̢̢̧̭̥̖̪̫̱̱̤̥̥̺̼̩̗̙̜͕͖͇̠̗̥̥̘̙͍͜͜͠ͅţ̶̛̰̫̣̝̳̰̩̍̄̈́̉͛̽̒̇̋̆̐̀́͆̐̾̉̔̔͌̽̿̐̈̔̀̉͂̾̎̅̎̂͑͊͒͊̃̿̉̉̑̎̚̚̕͘̕͜͠͠͝h̵̢̡͈̣̘͚̹̭̬̬̞̗̪͓͉͆̿͗͆̐͆̔̏́̈́̄̌̇̆́͛̑̔͋̉̀́͋͋̉̏̚͠͠ͅĩ̷̢̢̛̻̣̞̝̼͙̞̗͈̭͔̠͎̰͕͔̼͉͚̘̲͉͔̖̪͒̏̈̄̈́͒͗̈̾̆͛̓̓̅͐͐̊͒̇̒̑̀̾͛̈́̒̋̈́̄̃̀͌̽̋͂̀̌̚̚͝͝ͅǹ̶̢̧̛̙̺͍͕̺̜̗͍͍͖̰̹̭͇͔̤͚̭̞̟̠͔̞̲̥̭͙̩̑͆̈́͐̍̽̔̽͐̄̿́̐̓̅͆̃̌͑́́͂̍̍̆̔̄̓̌͛̈́̓͑͋̓͊̅̔̄̿̉͑̕͘͘͝͝͝ͅg̵̢̡̢̧͕̣̼̘̪̠̲̫͍̥̣̹͕̖̭͕͉̝̝̘̺͎̦̖̳̫̯͕̜͎̳͈͎͈̗̭̱͔͚̜̪̤̬̝͎̜̺͒̈͛͑͑̎̆̓̉̈́̔͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅ ̵̡̡̡̡̢͕̠̭̻̜̻̱̜̥̘̩̝̹̹̮̖͙̳̯̬̲͓̦̥̺̫͎̻̱̭͇̠̣̭̼̘͓͌̊̒͊͆̂̽̿̑͑̋̒͌͌̄͂̂̊͌́̈́̔͆̓̍̕͜͜͝͠b̴̢̡̡̨̛̩̞̭͙̟̲͙̦̪͓̩͍̱̩̮̺̩̹̺̘͓̥̦̘̻̔̾̍̑̉́̂̊̅͗̏͂̋̈́͂͗̅͋̓̎̒̚͜͝ͅͅư̷̧̢̢̡̜̲̰̣̤̗̟̖̻̤̟͍̱̞̩̩͍̳̟͖̙͕̼͙͕͉͕̰̺͌̒̎̔̄̏̿̃͑̏̍́͋̇͑̅͌̒͐̈̊͛̍̇̌̀̍̓͘̕͘̚̚͜͜͝͠͝͠t̸̨̢̛̗̬͚̭͉̥͓̲͖̤͎̮̝̹̼͚̝̱̥̣̘̮̤̝̩̤͆̌̍͂̀̌̈́̾͋͊̐͐̒̄̏̎̒́̓̑̓̈́͜͝͝ͅͅͅ ̴̛͖͖͊̈̔̎̋͑̂̇̑̀͋̇͑̒̃̓͛͂͌̈́̌̏̈́̏̽̉̾́̓̽̀͐͋̂͗̾̇̊̔͊̅͆́̃̀͘̚͘͝͠͠m̸̡̧̡̡̡̨̛̥̲͉͎̭͖̼̝͚̦͙͕̙̥͉̰̱̥̱̼̝̲͍̣̹̲̝̽͊̋͛̑̓̂̋̈́̄̌́̇̔͆̿͂̏̈́͘͜e̴̡̢̡̡̺̙̱͚̪͍̮̮̺̦̗̠͖̯̙͉̜̻͔̮̫̝̜̥̻̝̥̮̭̪̝͇͈͈̲̎̓̿̽̓̉t̴̢̡̧̧̧̛͔̲̫͕͓̻͙͓͓͖͕͖͈̗͓̦͉̙̟̺͉̙̻̖͚͉͇̦̠̝̫͈̘͈̜́͛͊̇͑̈́́̈́͛̇͑̔͌̂̑̾̚͘̚͜͜͠ͅä̷̧̳̻̰̹̭̞̣̞̜̙͖̱̠͕̟͉͚͎̝́̂̓͒̓̏̈̈́̉̽͆͆̇̀̓̐̽̌̔̉͒͗̈̋̇̍̄̓͐̀͌̅̂̈́̈́̔̒͆̑̓͂̂̽̈́͌̉͠͝͠l̸̛̛̤̳̠̩̳̗̝̦̺͓̭̮̪͕̩̈́̓͊̽̓͐͆̉́̈́͑̾͒̃̂̉̑̆̎͑͆̄̃̈̇̑̍̆̍̑̒̊̾̉̇̆̊̃́̒͘̕̕̕͜͠͝͝͝
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2021 19:17:41 GMT
He'll still get rusty feet. Unless he's wearing robo sandals. Is he wearing robo sandals?
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dogbot
Full Member
Posts: 8,738
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Post by dogbot on Nov 6, 2021 19:29:04 GMT
If he's Robot Jesus, I imagine he'd have wellies.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Nov 6, 2021 19:30:16 GMT
If his beard isn't made of prehensile mecha-tendrils what is even the fuckin point.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Nov 6, 2021 19:32:06 GMT
I hope RoboJesus is like Amazon Alexa.
"Robot Jesus, order more lube."
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 6, 2021 19:47:10 GMT
I hope RoboJesus is like Amazon Alexa. "Robot Jesus, order more lube." "okay, here's Perfect by Ed Sheeran" Fuck you robot jesus!
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dogbot
Full Member
Posts: 8,738
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Post by dogbot on Nov 6, 2021 19:54:27 GMT
Wait.
People still use Alexa?
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Post by Sarfrin on Nov 6, 2021 21:29:05 GMT
Wait. Fuck. I've just realised "The Eternal Cylinder" might be a euphemism for penis.
ETA Look at the creatures. It's definitely a euphemism.
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Post by Danno on Nov 6, 2021 22:12:10 GMT
I hope RoboJesus is like Amazon Alexa. "Robot Jesus, order more lube." "okay, here's Perfect by Ed Sheeran" Fuck you robot jesus! "Oh it seems you enjoyed that fucking cross the first time"
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 6, 2021 23:11:47 GMT
I'm at some horrific family gathering. It's all here: awful boardgames, inane small talk, hyperactive, socially awkward home-schooled Christian nutters.
Help me Font Geek. Give me strength.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Nov 6, 2021 23:13:53 GMT
Introduce the idea of Robochrist
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Lizard
Junior Member
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Post by Lizard on Nov 6, 2021 23:21:56 GMT
I would quite happily enter a Cybermonastary and dedicate my life to Robochrist if he could get me out of this.
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Post by Sarfrin on Nov 6, 2021 23:31:02 GMT
I'm at some horrific family gathering. It's all here: awful boardgames, inane small talk, hyperactive, socially awkward home-schooled Christian nutters. Help me Font Geek. Give me strength. You really did save the best for last there. That kind of home schooling is definitely "I can't expose my child to reality in case they realise I'm full of shit" homeschooling.
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Post by Danno on Nov 6, 2021 23:33:41 GMT
No pets you can latch on to?
Doesn't sound like drinking is an option at all, let alone the old oblivion drinking angle
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Post by Danno on Nov 6, 2021 23:39:23 GMT
Lizard You're going to have to get your dick out. You're in Aus right? Launch the old chap outta the trousers with a massive spider on the tip, drop the mic and march into the taxi home like a boss
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Lizard
Junior Member
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Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 7, 2021 0:06:44 GMT
Cat (really cute tortoiseshell) is hiding in the garden. No booze whatsoever. Present-giving time now. Hopefully my present is a cyanide capsule.
There's a teenage girl here fully in the middle of her black eyeliner Avril Lavigne phase, sat looking mopey on her phone. I can relate to her more than anyone else here, which says a lot.
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Lizard
Junior Member
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Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 7, 2021 0:12:14 GMT
I'm at some horrific family gathering. It's all here: awful boardgames, inane small talk, hyperactive, socially awkward home-schooled Christian nutters. Help me Font Geek. Give me strength. You really did save the best for last there. That kind of home schooling is definitely "I can't expose my child to reality in case they realise I'm full of shit" homeschooling. It's maddening. They're all late teens/early twenties now, but they're hyperactive like kids and constantly talk at you. Except the really withdrawn one who's studying geology. I assume he loves finding rocks older than 4004 BC.
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 7, 2021 0:21:02 GMT
Lizard You're going to have to get your dick out. You're in Aus right? Launch the old chap outta the trousers with a massive spider on the tip, drop the mic and march into the taxi home like a boss In NZ sadly. Won't work quite the same with a weta or a kiwi.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Nov 7, 2021 0:35:50 GMT
Pray for Lizard.
Lizard, spike the punch.
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Goban
New Member
Posts: 310
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Post by Goban on Nov 7, 2021 1:13:12 GMT
/waits for new post in international nutter goes berserk thread.
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 7, 2021 2:24:39 GMT
Oh my fucking god. One of them has just subjected me to half an hour of YouTube videos of his brass band playing painful covers with commentary on the different types of trombone, tuba, cornet etc that feature. He plays a tuba but is switching to a baritone trombone.
I fucking hate brass bands.
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,355
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Post by Lizard on Nov 7, 2021 2:25:10 GMT
Pray for Lizard. Lizard, spike the punch. There isn't even punch to spike.
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Post by dominalien on Nov 7, 2021 5:57:33 GMT
What’s the occasion? Sounds like Christmas, can’t be it though?
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