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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 5, 2023 14:25:16 GMT
edit
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Sept 5, 2023 14:27:02 GMT
You were despairing about us being silly again weren’t you Freddie. Admit it.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 5, 2023 14:37:17 GMT
correct
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
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Post by Vortex on Sept 6, 2023 21:31:18 GMT
Some wee arsehole has come into our street and stoved in one panel of our vestibule window.
Cheers cunt.
Waiting on the bobbies, but nowt will happen. Generic ned wear of black puffer jacket & apparently seen pedalling off at full pelt.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Sept 6, 2023 22:00:14 GMT
That's truly shit, nevertheless a respectable random rant for a change.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Sept 6, 2023 22:15:25 GMT
That’s pish man. Little bastard.
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Post by Danno on Sept 6, 2023 22:32:07 GMT
Some wee arsehole has come into our street and stoved in one panel of our vestibule window. Cheers cunt. Waiting on the bobbies, but nowt will happen. Generic ned wear of black puffer jacket & apparently seen pedalling off at full pelt. Sorry dude, didn't realise it was your gaffe I just got told to "send a message to that wanker at number 23". Don't pick up the umm... "rock" |
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Post by Syrette on Sept 6, 2023 22:35:21 GMT
No doubt necked a bottle of Buckie when he got home, to cap off a terrific evening of stupidity.
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,419
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Post by Vortex on Sept 6, 2023 23:03:43 GMT
Unsurprisingly, the cops have just called to say they won't be round. Just swept up the worst to stop the cat standing on anything. It's been an odd evening!
Not sure if it's random, or someone who has beef with our lad, although he can't think of anything that would lead to that.
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Post by Danno on Sept 6, 2023 23:07:21 GMT
How old is your lad?
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
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Post by Vortex on Sept 7, 2023 6:52:05 GMT
16, so right in the age range for kids with beef being wankers.
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,419
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Post by Vortex on Sept 7, 2023 6:54:08 GMT
It stopped me playing Starfield so much too and I had been looking forward to that for weeks.
There's another rant.
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Post by dangerousdave on Sept 7, 2023 7:26:44 GMT
That is proper shit. When it’s your home, things like that affect you more. Even if it is just a completely random one off.
Edit - Just removed a shitty story that looked like it might be trying to ‘one up’ your own there. Not what I was trying to do.
Window smasher wankers, god damn them.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Sept 7, 2023 8:21:29 GMT
Jesus, I've never wanked so hard I've broken a window..
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,419
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Post by Vortex on Sept 7, 2023 8:25:36 GMT
That is proper shit. When it’s your home, things like that affect you more. Even if it is just a completely random one off. Edit - Just removed a shitty story that looked like it might be trying to ‘one up’ your own there. Not what I was trying to do. Window smasher wankers, god damn them. Vent away man, a bit of solidarity is always good! |
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,419
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Post by Vortex on Sept 7, 2023 8:26:33 GMT
Jesus, I've never wanked so hard I've broken a window.. You're just not trying hard enough LA! 🤣 |
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Post by LegendaryApe on Sept 7, 2023 8:37:18 GMT
Challenge accepted!
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Post by dfunked on Sept 7, 2023 8:41:02 GMT
Kegel exercises should help with your velocity.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Sept 7, 2023 8:42:27 GMT
Jesus, I've never wanked so hard I've broken a window.. Pfff, lightweight. |
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,419
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Post by Vortex on Sept 7, 2023 9:26:56 GMT
Jesus, I've never wanked so hard I've broken a window.. That's probably the sound when LA's jizz flows out weakly unlike those that can smash glass.  My apologies for lowering the tone of this erudite forum. |
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Post by Dougs on Sept 7, 2023 9:53:22 GMT
I have told this story before, but that's exactly what the barman at my local community centre told us happens to him, as he has prostate cancer. "Just like dust", he says.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Sept 7, 2023 12:32:37 GMT
Teenagers can struggle to express their emotions. This could be part of a mating ritual. Sounds like he may have an admirer
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
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Post by cubby on Sept 7, 2023 12:34:07 GMT
"He really does like me!"
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Post by Aunt Alison on Sept 7, 2023 12:41:58 GMT
Summer lovin' had me a blast
Threw a brick straight through the glass
I met a boy cute as could be
Now police are looking for me
Summer days driftin' away
Oh, oh, rode away on my bike
Uh well-a well-a well-a huh!
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on Sept 7, 2023 12:54:35 GMT
My wife just offered to trim my beard and then proceeded just just carve half of it away, leaving me no choice but to shave the rest.
I'm fucking livid.
Might look for a divorce lawyer and a locksmith.
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,764
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Post by mrpon on Sept 7, 2023 12:56:40 GMT
Put the trimmings in her shampoo.
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JonFE
Junior Member
Uncomfortably numb...
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Post by JonFE on Sept 7, 2023 13:03:51 GMT
My wife just offered to trim my beard and then proceeded just just carve half of it away, leaving me no choice but to shave the rest. I'm fucking livid. Might look for a divorce lawyer and a locksmith. I guess it's too late now, but you could have kept it half, apparently it's all the rage!
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Sept 7, 2023 13:30:03 GMT
My wife just offered to trim my beard and then proceeded just just carve half of it away, leaving me no choice but to shave the rest. I'm fucking livid. Might look for a divorce lawyer and a locksmith. Ha. Never let the wife do your hair. Any of it.
Mine gave my head a trim a few years back. It was all going okay(ish) until she went around to the neck. She went really quiet and then started going "hmm, just need to even that bit up now. Now that bit. Now that bit" as she went higher and higher up the neckline.
Basically I had to do a no.1 over the whole fucking lot.
That was the one and only time.
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Post by rhaegyr on Sept 7, 2023 13:33:24 GMT
Once asked my girlfriend to remove a hangnail of mine and she nearly flayed me alive. Never again.
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wunty
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Post by wunty on Sept 7, 2023 13:39:06 GMT
"It was love at first flaying"
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