rawshark
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Post by rawshark on May 26, 2024 15:43:25 GMT
We’re having some issues with the 16 month olds sleeping too. No issues in getting him to bed or sleeping through the night. The problem for us is that he’s now regularly waking up at 4:30am and refusing to be settled back to sleep. He used to sleep in until 7am which was much more manageable. Those early starts make the day’s tough for all of us so not sure what the solution is.
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Post by Dougs on May 26, 2024 16:03:23 GMT
There isn't one. My eldest was the same. Ge eventually grew out of it. Once he started school.
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Post by Reviewer on May 26, 2024 16:06:59 GMT
The only real option is yourself going to bed earlier at night if you can, at least occasionally to catch up on some sleep. I assume it isn’t because their room is bright because of the sun.
Mine are a few years older but I can’t even remember what it was like having a lie in anymore.
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Post by Dougs on May 26, 2024 16:12:41 GMT
And even when they do lie in longer, your body clock is so utterly fucked, you are awake from 6am anyway.
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rawshark
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Post by rawshark on May 26, 2024 17:03:09 GMT
Yeah basically. We black out his room so I’m pretty sure it’s not the earlier sunrises.
He knows we know that he can’t sleep without his sheep blanket, and he knows that if he chucks it out of his crib we have to go in there to try give it back to him, and then once he’s seen us it’s all over - it’s party time. We’ve been comprehensively outsmarted by a 16 month old.
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Post by paulyboy81 on May 26, 2024 17:50:29 GMT
We instigated a back to bed routine pretty much straight away with ours, even as babies, if they woke up at 5am, we settled them back down until at least 7am. Carried on with that right through, it was a pretty harshly enforced rule on our part.
It never really bagged us more sleep to begin with mind you, because you're out of bed enforcing the routine half the time, but they sleep like teenagers now at least when most of the kids I know their age are still up at the crack of dawn.
Makes us sound like dickheads keeping them in bed I know, I also appreciate every kid is different and it's not necessarily possible in all circumstances.
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Post by technoish on May 26, 2024 19:17:53 GMT
We did sleep training with a professional when the first was a baby. It worked, but then didn't after the next developmental stage and after we moved continents. We never really recovered, and now we always just stay with the kids until they are asleep, after we have read a couple books. They are 6 and 5 and sleep next to each other on mattresses on the floor. And when they wake up in the night they both stealth into our bed; we usually don't notice until the morning. Tbh the together time at bed time is usually quite good quality time with reading, and often a bit of a review of the day / processing of events. Sometimes particularly the younger one takes ages to get to sleep, but it seems to be improving now, at age 4
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rawshark
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Post by rawshark on May 26, 2024 20:07:31 GMT
I try to keep them in bed until at least 6am. The missus sucks at doing it, gives up, gets him up and struggles through the rest of the day. I keep telling her if he’s napping at about 8am he never should have been taken out.
I think he’s about to take his first steps any day now so maybe he’s having a leap. Or maybe he’s just an utter utter bastard.
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drakesmoke
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We gotta talk about that ride kid. Next clue to the case!
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Post by drakesmoke on May 26, 2024 20:52:14 GMT
You’ll still potentially be having sleep arguments when they are 13. Ours had a couple of occasions of insomnia last year, has let it get into her head and basically now has a phobia of sleeping. Had to actually tell her off when she would come banging on the door at 2 am (believe me you shit yourself).
Won’t follow any advice - won’t open the window when it’s hot because of spiders which like any house we are full of anyway. One night she didn’t read as I suggested ‘because I might rip up the pages’. It’s all caused of course by basically the sleeping equivalent of salting your own earth, sneaking awake on devices as long as possible and basically trying to sleep in until lunch at weekend (we now get her up at ten).
Anyway the Mrs has allowed her to start taking the dog in. Already this has gone wrong a few times, when the dog decides it want to leave her room at 6 am on the one day we get a lie in, she’ll dump it outside and it’s scratching and whining at our door.
Then of course the dog is a bit long in the tooth and I’m straight up having a year of dogs when she passes. But by then kiddo will be psychologically dependent on having a dog to go to sleep. I’m also worrying about how she is going to cope when she stays out now.
It’s maddening and basically I’ve been overridden on it.
Spent two hours putting LED strip lighting up for the daughter today and then got a load of ungratefulness back for it of course (tell me they grow out of this age) to get bite back on her being told they are not for use after bedtime - ‘well what’s the point of having them then?’ I’ll tell you what the point isn’t, little one, which is to disrupt your already fubar circadian rhythms.
Honestly I know she is bright from how she gets on at school but sometimes the sheer obsessive need to find increasingly bizarre non-justifications to challenge every quite reasonable boundary does quite often make me want to question her intelligence - but it’s just deliberately obtuse in the hope you’ll be hoodwinked.
Sorry for the rant.
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Post by Dougs on May 26, 2024 21:51:55 GMT
That sounds tough mate. Sounds like she's going through some, like they all do I guess at that age.
My 11 year old basically sleeps with the lights on - she had LED spots on a timer, 3 night lights and a gro clock. It's like broad daylight in there. Not exactly scared of the dark but finds it comforting and is like me and usually asleep in no time.
The 14 year old struggles more, takes longer to get to sleep but is usually pretty good, even when we let him watch telly. He is a nightmare away from home though if he's not with us - his anxieties mean he starts to overthink it, then starts to feel sick and before you know it, I'm driving out to a scout or cadet camp in the middle of the night to get him. Bless him. When in his own bed though, not much wakes him these days.
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Post by A46Matt on May 26, 2024 22:23:06 GMT
Yeah basically. We black out his room so I’m pretty sure it’s not the earlier sunrises. He knows we know that he can’t sleep without his sheep blanket, and he knows that if he chucks it out of his crib we have to go in there to try give it back to him, and then once he’s seen us it’s all over - it’s party time. We’ve been comprehensively outsmarted by a 16 month old. Can you try and tether it to his wrist or ankle like a mitten?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2024 22:32:48 GMT
Or the pain of taking it away until he gets used to not having it, then hopefully better nights in the future.
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drakesmoke
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We gotta talk about that ride kid. Next clue to the case!
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Post by drakesmoke on May 26, 2024 22:53:50 GMT
Dougs Thanks. Not as tough as the massive row me and the Mrs have had about it half an hour after that post though. Head feels like it’s in a f*cking vice. I think half of it is a wounded pride thing over the feeling of being overridden on decisions like this. The first major one was her having her mobile phone left in the room at bedtime a couple of years back, which I was dead set against, and which I think is the root of many of these sleep issues. Got overridden on that, then as a compromise it was made conditional on weeks of following a routine and expected behaviours - that finished as predicted the moment she got her way and got the phone. I’m not her biological father, as I have mentioned in the past, and I think ultimately it may be the natural order of things that mum gets her way. This pisses me off sometimes, as bio abandoned the pair of them at fetus stage never to be seen again, whereas I chose this and I call her my daughter not my step. In turn I’m in her phone as ‘Dad’ but am almost never called that verbally. Nevertheless, there is always that capitulation to mum’s wishes and always the seeking things from mum and not me. In part (and I’ve been told this) because I’m more likely to say no, but I think it’s partly the other thing. Sometimes I try to rail against it all but sometimes for everybody’s health i just accept my position, which is probably the natural order of things, and suck it up. And who am I to compete with that, having missed the first years. And thankfully for small mercies, I at least don’t have to compete against the bastard that abandoned them. TLDR, it’s hard when you don’t agree on parenting decisions and harder still when you feel your hand is weakened by no t having the right DNA.
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Post by Dougs on May 27, 2024 4:46:08 GMT
Ooof, yeah, can see how that might cause issues. I'm often told I am too hard on them and whilst most of the time, my wife will back me, there are times when she doesn't and the kids get their way. Usually on pretty insignificant stuff tbh like treats etc but they know she's a soft touch so they try to mum/dad us regularly.
No real advice as have no experience there. I imagine your wife just wants her to be happy and that leads to giving in, which is understandable. But equally you're either a partnership in this or not. Rough mate.
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drakesmoke
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We gotta talk about that ride kid. Next clue to the case!
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Post by drakesmoke on May 27, 2024 6:10:42 GMT
DougsCheers mate. Feel I’ve over shared there and now feel a bit of a twat tbh. Half tempted to delete the above as a result but I won’t. Going to do my best to put it behind me today and not spoil what’s left of the BH weekend. Maybe I need to self reflect and have a think about how much of this is my own silly ego or insecurity issues too if I’m being honest. I dunno. Onwards!
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Binky
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Post by Binky on May 27, 2024 7:04:17 GMT
I think if there’s any thread that is open to over sharing this is the one. We’ve got each other’s back in here.
Sounds like a tough role you have there mate, and talking about it here is probably a very good thing indeed. Don’t bottle shit like that up. Men are allowed to have feelings too.
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Post by Zuluhero on May 27, 2024 7:08:41 GMT
Yeah, don't feel bad! If it's any consolation my partner and I have been at loggerheads for 16 years with ours and my DNA means diddly squat.
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rawshark
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Post by rawshark on May 27, 2024 7:33:23 GMT
Yeah basically. We black out his room so I’m pretty sure it’s not the earlier sunrises. He knows we know that he can’t sleep without his sheep blanket, and he knows that if he chucks it out of his crib we have to go in there to try give it back to him, and then once he’s seen us it’s all over - it’s party time. We’ve been comprehensively outsmarted by a 16 month old. Can you try and tether it to his wrist or ankle like a mitten? I did think about that. But I dad-worry about him managing to get it wrapped round his neck it something.
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Post by A46Matt on May 27, 2024 8:54:45 GMT
Yeah on second thoughts the cons outweigh the pros with that
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Post by pierrepressure on May 28, 2024 9:03:03 GMT
5 year old has had a quite nasty chesty cough for the past 5 days with a temperature but started feeling better then all of sudden started complaining of earache and screamed the house down from about 11pm onwards, luckily his mum is off this week with him and took the bullet so I managed to get a few hours kip. Still felt guilty though!
Just checked his ear and it's quite a sight, looks like it's been leaking god knows what in the night, likely an infection I presume.
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Post by A46Matt on Jun 2, 2024 20:20:19 GMT
Getting her to put herself to sleep has proven difficult with the constant desire to roll onto her front followed by the frustration of not being able to roll back yet.
Much like how nobody speaks of the grunting in the first few months, we were not warned about the rolling! Someone should really write a book on all this….
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jun 14, 2024 17:40:35 GMT
My 5 year old had his graduation ceremony from preschool today (he's staying on til 'big school' starts at the end of August.)
They had the robes, caps, the lot and got a little certificate. They gave a little journal with his art and photos of him through the last year. It was adorable, especially the messages from his teachers at the back of it.
In the class they had a photo display with each child holding a chalk board with what they want to be when they grow upon it (a black and white photo, that looked a little like mugshots).
There were a lot of teachers, some wanted to join the Guards, there were two rally drivers and even a wizard.
My little fella's said paleontologist. Was a very proud Daddy the whole day
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Post by Reviewer on Jun 14, 2024 18:02:53 GMT
Mine stood there and cried the whole time. She likes doing that.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jun 14, 2024 18:09:15 GMT
Mine stood there and cried the whole time. She likes doing that. That would be tough! The poor little thing (and you of course. There's been many an occasion when he's done the same, just thankfully not today).
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Post by Reviewer on Jun 14, 2024 19:26:56 GMT
She hates any sort of performing/public group things, whether it’s her taking part or watching. I’m hoping she’ll grit out of it but I think that’s some way off.
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Jun 14, 2024 19:43:15 GMT
When my daughter had her graduation from nursery into primary she chose Mermaid for what she wanted to be when she was older.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jun 14, 2024 19:48:07 GMT
I love it
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Post by simple on Jun 16, 2024 7:34:45 GMT
Happy Father’s Day lads
I got pounced upon at half 6 but have been allowed to sleep and watch Euros highlights in bed since then.
When my boy had his nursery leavers party last year the woman in charge asked who made everyone laugh and all the other children said him. That was very nice.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 16, 2024 8:10:53 GMT
Happy Father's Day chaps.
Had to make my own tea, and then had to ask for toast. Eldest still in bed. Youngest has been up for an hour and hasn't been in yet. Standard Sunday really!
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Post by jeepers on Jun 16, 2024 8:19:28 GMT
I was gifted three handmade medals, a bag of Skittles, a bottle of whisky and a lovely card from my kids. They’re awesome, even when driving me mad.
Tea is steak, which my kids love.
Happy Fathers’ Day folks.
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