Binky
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Post by Binky on Apr 28, 2022 12:28:43 GMT
Parents' Evening tonight.
Anyone else dread these? Not because they're expecting bad news, but because they are almost always a waste of, and never on, time.
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Post by Honk If You're Horny? on Apr 28, 2022 15:01:17 GMT
Had this rather passive aggressive message delivered to me yesterday by my 8 year old lad after some silly nonsense, on the plus side he should be getting his Pen Licence this week.
At least it's not scrawled in blood.
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Post by Dougs on Apr 28, 2022 15:03:14 GMT
Parents' Evening tonight. Anyone else dread these? Not because they're expecting bad news, but because they are almost always a waste of, and never on, time. Video calls have been a blessing imo. Easy as for the youngest. The eldest's at secondary school last year was 5 mins with his tutor and that was it. There's another one in June, dunno if it's going to be the same or not. Trawling round each teacher for 5 mins is my idea of fresh hell.
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Post by lutzie on Apr 28, 2022 16:39:21 GMT
Eldest 2 kids have just made themselves bacon butties.
Neither is having red or brown sauce.
I've failed both as a parent, and as a northerner.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Apr 28, 2022 18:18:18 GMT
Oh dear.
First thing our lad does with a bacon buttie is to fire on the ketchup.
I've tried to introduce him to brown sauce on a sausage buttie, but he's not having any of it yet.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Apr 28, 2022 18:19:48 GMT
In fact, he recently announced that as part of morning break at school, he goes to a shop for a bacon & black pudding roll.
Tastes change as they get older, so you can live in hope a while yet!
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Apr 28, 2022 18:41:32 GMT
My boy likes a bacon butty but only with ketchup, I can only hope one day he will even try the delight that is HP or black pudding, that said, where does your boy go to school, the 1970's? 😃
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Apr 28, 2022 19:16:34 GMT
Apparently, morning break is either: a) standard bacon buttie, b) bacon & black pudding buttie or c) a yum-yum or some pancakes from the baker. Healthy eating all the way for hungry teenagers.
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Post by Dougs on Apr 28, 2022 19:33:04 GMT
Yeah, my eldest has a bacon sarnie at break time if he doesn't have a packed lunch. And even then he'll eat both sometimes. He'll either be the size of a house soon or his metabolism will sort it!
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EMarkM
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Post by EMarkM on Apr 28, 2022 20:03:13 GMT
My boy likes a bacon butty but only with ketchup, I can only hope one day he will even try the delight that is HP or black pudding, that said, where does your boy go to school, the 1970's? 😃 Daddies brown sauce is better than HP by a gajillion miles. Weirdly, they’re now owned by HP
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Apr 28, 2022 20:12:54 GMT
I may have to try daddies sauce, that doesn't sound right.
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Buu
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Post by Buu on May 5, 2022 20:20:11 GMT
From the more... seasoned parents a question..
I sound like a prick for typing this out but it's better to appear like a prick online than to people who know me in person! Our first born is a month old tomorrow. I don't know if I was expecting some magical switch to go off in my brain but I find I'm really struggling.
I never wanted kids but alas, here we are. But now she is here I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure she has a better life than me. Now she is here I also wouldn't change my situation and already can't imagine life without her being in it.
I say all that to say - when does that click in the brain happen? I feel like I'm a crappy human being because something just isn't clicking for me. When she cries I feel my patience is wafer thin but my partner goes charging towards her. I've never liked newborn babies and the only reason I think she is sound is cause she is mine but for the most part - I still don't like newborns. I'm hoping that once she gets to 3 months and doing 'stuff' I may start to enjoy this more but right now I'm just exhausted and feeling basically useless.
just my incoherent ramblings that i felt like i needed to type out and put out of my head and into the world
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Post by Dougs on May 5, 2022 20:25:56 GMT
The new born phase is hard. It's a massive upheaval and change to your life. It's not uncommon to find that difficult. Add in lack of sleep, no time to do anything etc and it's no wonder we all struggle. My eldest is 12 and I still struggle at times. Don't be hard on yourself - it'll come.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on May 5, 2022 20:26:16 GMT
The first few months are a tough grind. I don't miss them.
Once smiles (or is it wind?) start it gets a bit better. Then when the bright shiny eyed personality kicks in, it's even better.
Tl;dr- give it time
/has a teenager. 😒
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on May 5, 2022 20:26:47 GMT
Basically, wot dougs sez.
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Buu
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Post by Buu on May 5, 2022 20:47:18 GMT
Right now she is sleeping on me and she is brilliant. But boy when she kicks off she really kicks off
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Post by grey_matters on May 5, 2022 21:32:48 GMT
Right now she is sleeping on me and she is brilliant. But boy when she kicks off she really kicks off That sounds really nice, we struggled with our one getting enough sleep in the early months (and strangely enough, contact with anyone* ruined the chances of sleep mostly), and despite having more and different sleep issues later it all turned good. I'm going to mention something and it isn't a judgement. I actually think all new parents should get a few free** sessions of counselling a few weeks after the birth. There is a crazy amount of new things and thought processes happening in the first 6 months and it is good to hear that this is ok and that lots of other people go through this too (whatever it is, you can be guaranteed that someone has experienced it). If you can afford it, I reckon some early help of this sort would be a great crutch when things get tough for one or both of you. But good luck, in our experience (which was hard for a while) the good bits far far outweighed the bad bits but sometime needed time and external guidance. *well, me. Mum had a far higher success rate as you would expect **as in NHS in the UK, or whatever wherever
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dam
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Post by dam on May 5, 2022 21:41:27 GMT
Your brain wipes the sleepless months from memory, or you'd never have another! Don't worry, it's totally normal. Try and catch a nap when you can. New borns are full on for the first 6 months. No one is expecting you to do anything except to make sure they are fed and washed and kept amused. Try and get some sort of sleeping pattern. I've never had the mega-love thing, but I think that could be an autism thing. A puppy is much easier!
I remember wishing away each stage eg out of nappies, walking, going on my shoulders, but before you know it she'll be a young woman about to leave home, and you'll wonder where the time has gone.
edit - sleeping tip, watch for over-tiredness. Try and put her down before she is over-tired. Our first was terrible at sleeping. Second was perfect, eyes shut and snoring as soon as she was put down (sucking her thumb, but we managed to get her stop that before she was 12...). Thought we had cracked it, but the 3rd one was terrible. I remember I had to put him to bed, every night he wanted Green Eggs and Ham. Eventually he preferred the iPad reading it to him, I got 20 minutes nap on his floor.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on May 5, 2022 22:17:57 GMT
An ipad reading stories? Wish i'd known about that! nah, tbh the stories were fun to read. Still love dr seuss (from mine & the lad's readings).
We both fell asleep on the floor a good few times when young un required someone's presence to fall asleep. Usually after a long busy day, or when ill.
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Post by grey_matters on May 5, 2022 22:33:06 GMT
An ipad reading stories? Wish i'd known about that! nah, tbh the stories were fun to read. Still love dr seuss (from mine & the lad's readings). We both fell asleep on the floor a good few times when young un required someone's presence to fall asleep. Usually after a long busy day, or when ill. One of the best things about this thread (and the previous one on EG) is how there are so many different ways of doing things and nearly all of it works, but only some of it to some of the people. For example, whem I was small, apparently I was an early reader and loved reading everything, but never saw a Dr Seuss book until I was over 5. My cousin (who was born in the US) had all of the books so I read them whenever I visited. Couldn't take to them. Tried again later, but no. Just a few weeks ago, we were visiting one of the grandparents and they have a 20-books beginner box of Dr Seuss. I started reading a selection out loud on a sofa (there were multiple grandkids from various sources around) and my own one tuned out but nearly all the others stopped what they were doing to listen (our one was still interested in the other people liking the books, just didn't care for it much herself). She loves books more than any kid I've seen (admittedly I've a small sample set) but it just didn't suit her. Yet. Maybe later. That's the thing. Everything changes. The bad bits go away. But so do your favourite bits sometimes. It all adds up to good things, but knowing the above helps sometimes (or it did to me at least).
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Post by Dougs on May 7, 2022 6:23:16 GMT
My eldest is 12 on Tuesday, so me and a mate are taking him and 5 mates to ninja warrior in Southampton. It's kind of soft play for bigger kids, lots of climbing, hanging, grappling, jumping etc. He's been pinging off the walls for the last 2 days. KFC lunch after, back home for beers and a takeaway later. My wife and my mate's wife are going to IKEA. Need lots of luck all round!
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Post by Reviewer on May 7, 2022 7:44:47 GMT
The first 6 months are the only time I’d never want to do again due to lack of sleep and panic about them being ok, there’s a really nice period from about 1-4 where they’re just really cute and exploring.
When they go to school there’s still some of that but they learn a lot of bad habits from other children, some of who are little shits.
We’re unfortunate that we have no family of friends near so we never get a break except when they’re at school/nursery and we’re working then. That’s the only thing I’d want different so we could actually have some time away from them together occasionally. Even when the in laws visit they can’t do their bed or do the morning because they only visit about twice a year so the kids get confused/panic if we’re not there.
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Post by Reviewer on May 7, 2022 7:46:08 GMT
I also can’t stand soft play but that’s because of the large number of other kids that run around like headless chickens.
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Post by Sarfrin on May 7, 2022 14:30:16 GMT
From the more... seasoned parents a question.. I sound like a prick for typing this out but it's better to appear like a prick online than to people who know me in person! Our first born is a month old tomorrow. I don't know if I was expecting some magical switch to go off in my brain but I find I'm really struggling. I never wanted kids but alas, here we are. But now she is here I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure she has a better life than me. Now she is here I also wouldn't change my situation and already can't imagine life without her being in it. I say all that to say - when does that click in the brain happen? I feel like I'm a crappy human being because something just isn't clicking for me. When she cries I feel my patience is wafer thin but my partner goes charging towards her. I've never liked newborn babies and the only reason I think she is sound is cause she is mine but for the most part - I still don't like newborns. I'm hoping that once she gets to 3 months and doing 'stuff' I may start to enjoy this more but right now I'm just exhausted and feeling basically useless. just my incoherent ramblings that i felt like i needed to type out and put out of my head and into the world They get more interesting after the first 6 months.
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Post by Dougs on May 7, 2022 16:19:01 GMT
So....that was less than successful. The actual ninja warrior place is pretty sweet but according to the kids, the inflatable park was underinflated and some of the foam pits for landing were too deep and they struggled to get out a lot (almost dying, according to them). The staff were next to useless too. Looked cool though.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on May 7, 2022 16:29:35 GMT
Shame. That place sounded great!
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technoish
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Post by technoish on May 8, 2022 10:16:16 GMT
I have had a different experience, we never had very colicky babies. At the beginning all they do is basically sleep and feed (and in between do some pooping), so breastfeeding mothers are the ones that don't get any decent stretches of sleep. Even now, our youngest is almost two and the wife has to get up 45 minutes earlier to do a morning feed.
The mother's have massively heightened sensitivity in their amygdala after birth which is why they react quicker / more forcefully to baby noises/crying.
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technoish
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Post by technoish on May 8, 2022 10:17:32 GMT
(you also start to filter out baby crying fairly quickly! You can spot the parent on a flight with a crying baby by whether they are annoyed or not!!)
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Post by Dougs on May 8, 2022 13:01:25 GMT
Shame. That place sounded great! The actual Ninja Warrior stuff was really good, but a bit too tricky for a group of 12/13 year olds. The bouncy part dominates though and is properly massive.
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Post by Danno on May 9, 2022 23:18:07 GMT
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