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Post by spacein_vader on Nov 18, 2021 9:40:39 GMT
Today is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, I know that every day is cheese sarnie day or something similar but indulge me on this one. Before I got this bloody disease all I knew about it was that it had one of the poorest survivial rates. I didn't know that's because the symptoms can seem so mild or so trivial that it tends to be caught late. I didn't know what the symptoms were at all. Do you? Because it could be life or death. Pancreatic cancer UK have a symptoms quiz on their website at www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/can-you-spot-the-symptoms/ Doing it will take 2 minutes of your time but could save your life, or that of a friend or family member. I'd strongly recommend giving it a quick run through, and encouraging others around you to do the same. Last night my 9 year old daughter was crying into my arms about how unfair it is and can't understand how I went from healthy to "when I hug you I just feel bones" in a few months. It was one of the worst moments of my life, I don't want any of you to need to have a similar conversation.
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harrypalmer
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Post by harrypalmer on Nov 18, 2021 9:47:41 GMT
Thanks for sharing, I looked and didn't know the symptoms were so vague. Those are things we all have from time to time (except jaundice).
I cannot even begin to express how sorry I am for you, even though I obviously have no idea who you are! I'm sure you're tired of hearing shit like that, but it feels right to say it.
What were the symptoms that prompted you to seek help? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2021 9:55:55 GMT
Thanks Space. I didn't know the first things about the cancer signs and now do.
Sorry about what you're going through. I've had biopsies twice and a scan once and hearing the word cancer was enough to make me go cold. Being told benign had me in tears and the wait to find out was awful.
I cannot imagine what you're going through, nor your family, especially your kids. I went to a funeral of a mate who died of cancer aged 44. Can't say it was easy, but I have some great memories of the guy (and I'm running 1000 miles in his memory) and I'm glad I had the time with him, even though losing him has really hurt. I'm sure you will have touched others in the same way and I'm sure your family and friends will treasure the time they have with you.
Life isn't fair. My best mate through training (got me to go to pubs, nightclubs, a new wardrobe, first girlfriend) etc died just a year after we passed out together. Still miss the guy (Dave Purcell) and wonder what he could have done with his life, but a bit of him is still alive in my memories.
Again, glad you're still here mate. Keep yourself together and thanks for the link. Who knows, your actions today might save a life and what a difference that will make. Take care.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2021 11:28:52 GMT
spacein_vaderThank you for that link. Turns out I could guess the majority of them but it definitely is so difficult as most of these things you could probably have once in a while and not think anything of it, so it was very sobering to see that they were in fact symptoms. Pancreatic cancer was something that wasn't even on my radar tbh, so I certainly know more about it now than I did (which was nothing). I was more aware of prostate cancer and have actually had my blood done, my prostate checked etc all in the last year, but it's something that's never far from my mind, and I am trying to be more attuned to what my body may be trying to tell me. Your story never ceases to upset me and I will say once again that I cannot even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. As Harry says above, I'm sure you are sick of hearing these sentiments, especially from an internet stranger, but you're on this forum and that makes you less of a stranger than you might be. However, mark me down as one that now has an awareness where there wasn't one before, and I will certainly pass it on to others.
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Post by barchetta on Nov 18, 2021 12:56:57 GMT
Today is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, I know that every day is cheese sarnie day or something similar but indulge me on this one. Before I got this bloody disease all I knew about it was that it had one of the poorest survivial rates. I didn't know that's because the symptoms can seem so mild or so trivial that it tends to be caught late. I didn't know what the symptoms were at all. Do you? Because it could be life or death. Pancreatic cancer UK have a symptoms quiz on their website at www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/can-you-spot-the-symptoms/ Doing it will take 2 minutes of your time but could save your life, or that of a friend or family member. I'd strongly recommend giving it a quick run through, and encouraging others around you to do the same. Last night my 9 year old daughter was crying into my arms about how unfair it is and can't understand how I went from healthy to "when I hug you I just feel bones" in a few months. It was one of the worst moments of my life, I don't want any of you to need to have a similar conversation. Thanks for the links and you have my heartfelt sympathies.
I lost my mum to this disease back in the early 80s when I was just turned 12 - she was 40. I hope you can enjoy your time with your daughter to the best of your abilities. Back then much of this talk was taboo, and moreso in my family where there was an understandable, but ultimately misguided, attempt to protect both me and my younger sister from the worst news. When things finally resolved it came as quite a shock. I've got to say, the fact you are taking a stand and providing info and thoughts on this is really appreciated. Any mention of cancer still hits me and I know that if I'd had more involvement, and a more open discussion with family after Mum had passed, I would have had a much happier teens/twenties and been able to forge stronger relationships etc.
My sister then went through her own issues this year with an emrgency tonsillectomy and radio/chemo but thankfully seems to be in remission and on the mend.
This disease affects so many and any way to raise awareness and draw back the veil on the fear and misunderstanding has got to be a positive step.
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 18, 2021 14:48:16 GMT
Today is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, I know that every day is cheese sarnie day or something similar but indulge me on this one. Before I got this bloody disease all I knew about it was that it had one of the poorest survivial rates. I didn't know that's because the symptoms can seem so mild or so trivial that it tends to be caught late. I didn't know what the symptoms were at all. Do you? Because it could be life or death. Pancreatic cancer UK have a symptoms quiz on their website at www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/can-you-spot-the-symptoms/ Doing it will take 2 minutes of your time but could save your life, or that of a friend or family member. I'd strongly recommend giving it a quick run through, and encouraging others around you to do the same. Last night my 9 year old daughter was crying into my arms about how unfair it is and can't understand how I went from healthy to "when I hug you I just feel bones" in a few months. It was one of the worst moments of my life, I don't want any of you to need to have a similar conversation. big hugs to you, fella, you're absolutely right - these are conversations no-one should have to have with their kids, it's horrible....to have cancer is horrendous, there's no doubting that, but to live with, care for, and watch someone destroyed by cancer can be worse in a fair few ways neighbour over the road had a very similar cancer to my wife, died 12 mths earlier - when she did, her husband, an incredibly fit and active older chap, got himself checked over - pancreatic cancer...no symptoms at all but then my wife's kidney tumour was growing for near to 10 years with near to no symptoms at all...it's a nasty horrible little fecker, whatever guise it takes know your bodies & don't hang around at the slightest sign of something 'different' - a twinge, a pressure, an 'ooh, i'm getting older' feeling bless you & yours, mate, the honesty and openness of those living it helps those of us who aren't x
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Post by spacein_vader on Nov 18, 2021 15:13:19 GMT
Thanks all. Talking helps me process what's happening and I do appreciate everyone's sympathies. It really does help me and hopefully others on this thread who either are suffering or have suffered, directly or through loved ones. I just want to raise awareness, if one more person gets checked out because of me, even if it turns out they're fine I'll be happy. It's so easy to say "oh it's nothing." What were the symptoms that prompted you to seek help? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. It started with some back ache, then a few days later stomach troubles that didn't go away for a week. I got in touch with my GP then but what really made them sit up and take notice (they initially suspected I'd developed a food intolerance,) was that I lost a stone in weight over 4 weeks.
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 18, 2021 15:46:45 GMT
yup, don't get fobbed off if they think it's something else and you know it's possibly more serious
when my wife first went with twinging pains, they predicted gallstones and said it couldn't possibly be anything like cancer, she ended up in a&e a week later in agony and they found a tumour approx 14cm x 8xm
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Nov 19, 2021 10:35:54 GMT
Today is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, I know that every day is cheese sarnie day or something similar but indulge me on this one. Before I got this bloody disease all I knew about it was that it had one of the poorest survivial rates. I didn't know that's because the symptoms can seem so mild or so trivial that it tends to be caught late. I didn't know what the symptoms were at all. Do you? Because it could be life or death. Pancreatic cancer UK have a symptoms quiz on their website at www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/can-you-spot-the-symptoms/ Doing it will take 2 minutes of your time but could save your life, or that of a friend or family member. I'd strongly recommend giving it a quick run through, and encouraging others around you to do the same. Turns out I needed to watch that video as I only guessed a few of the symptoms, so thanks for sharing. Scary how vague they are, and that it can go undetected for a long time. Thanks for sharing space
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on Nov 19, 2021 10:44:11 GMT
Today is World Pancreatic Cancer Day, I know that every day is cheese sarnie day or something similar but indulge me on this one. Before I got this bloody disease all I knew about it was that it had one of the poorest survivial rates. I didn't know that's because the symptoms can seem so mild or so trivial that it tends to be caught late. I didn't know what the symptoms were at all. Do you? Because it could be life or death. Pancreatic cancer UK have a symptoms quiz on their website at www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/can-you-spot-the-symptoms/ Doing it will take 2 minutes of your time but could save your life, or that of a friend or family member. I'd strongly recommend giving it a quick run through, and encouraging others around you to do the same. Last night my 9 year old daughter was crying into my arms about how unfair it is and can't understand how I went from healthy to "when I hug you I just feel bones" in a few months. It was one of the worst moments of my life, I don't want any of you to need to have a similar conversation. Thanks a lot, I got 6 out of 7, good to watch the video, as you say, you never know who it can help. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and can only express my admiration at how amazingly you are dealing with it. Your kids have a great dad and I hope you get to make as many great memories as possible.
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Nov 24, 2021 18:17:01 GMT
My dad finally had his test this week, and we know for sure that it's now spread outside of the prostate. It's spread to his pelvis, bones and potentially lymph nodes, so he starts hormone therapy tomorrow to slow down the spread until he speaks with the doctor about treatment options.
By the sounds of it though he'll never be all clear, because it has spread, so they'll likely be monitoring him on an ongoing basis and the hormone therapy will be an ever-present thing now. Will just have to see what he's told next week and take it from there.
It could have been worse (and of course could have been a lot better) but he knows now which takes a lot of the unknown off his mind, and we can do what we can to support him through it. Still fucking sucks though, and I'm fucking mad and sad and don't know where to vent. I made a stupid joke when he first went to the doctor about his prostate saying he'd do anything to be shot of us - seeing as we'd just relocated 200 miles and bought a new house to be near to the family - fucking hysterical in hindsight eh.
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on Nov 24, 2021 18:19:18 GMT
My dad finally had his test this week, and we know for sure that it's now spread outside of the prostate. It's spread to his pelvis, bones and potentially lymph nodes, so he starts hormone therapy tomorrow to slow down the spread until he speaks with the doctor about treatment options. By the sounds of it though he'll never be all clear, because it has spread, so they'll likely be monitoring him on an ongoing basis and the hormone therapy will be an ever-present thing now. Will just have to see what he's told next week and take it from there. It could have been worse (and of course could have been a lot better) but he knows now which takes a lot of the unknown off his mind, and we can do what we can to support him through it. Still fucking sucks though, and I'm fucking mad and sad and don't know where to vent. I made a stupid joke when he first went to the doctor about his prostate saying he'd do anything to be shot of us - seeing as we'd just relocated 200 miles and bought a new house to be near to the family - fucking hysterical in hindsight eh. A mate of mine's dad died of prostate cancer but he lasted for over 10 years with good quality of life, hopefully he'll be even luckier.
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Post by Dougs on Nov 24, 2021 18:28:27 GMT
Sorry to hear that. Life's fucking shit.
And re your move, you can now be there for him and other family. We did the same just after my dad was diagnosed with leukemia - I had 4 great years being near him, going out for a pint, taking my new born son over to see him etc. And then after, being around for my mum.
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Post by prawnking on Nov 28, 2021 20:35:42 GMT
So my dad had a routine blood test on Friday, is of the age and so on checking for cholesterol and so on.
He gets a phonecall 3:30am Saturday morning I'm guessing a new thing from the NHS, to say he had a high level of white blood cells, normally should be 10 per measure, his were 130, and he should go to the hospital as soon as possible, or at least after 8am..so he could have another test.
After many hours of waiting around in a&e be has been told he has leukemia, something his dad died from.
Tomorrow he has a CT scan and samples of bone marrow taken. Really hoping for good news, been caught early etc. Not really wanting to go through close loved one dying from cancer again.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2021 21:26:15 GMT
Fuck sake, that's awful prawn.I don't know what to say, but I hope the later tests give you some more positive news.
Don't forget, medicine has come on a hell of a long way since his dad was diagnosed, so the outcomes needn't be the same.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2021 22:01:42 GMT
Fingers crossed dude, my pa got leukemia, my grandmother died from it and he was fully terrified.
But he lived over ten years with it (and died with it, not of it). Had one round of chemotherapy within three months of diagnosis. And even that wasn't bad, I called him after his first treatment asking him how he felt and he said "I feel great!" - clearly hospital dialled it in great but we think he'd been slowly feeling bad and the chemo immediately started helping.
His worst experience in the whole thing - other than the emotions of diagnosis - was having the bone marrow test / biopsy. It isn't apparently "painful" as such but the feeling is so weird and unsettling.
Hope your old chap has a similar experience x
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Post by Danno on Nov 28, 2021 22:09:59 GMT
Hope it's better than you expect Prawn
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Post by prawnking on Nov 28, 2021 22:33:53 GMT
Thanks guys, I'm trying to be as positive as possible, the further tests could be really positive and so on.
After my partner 4 years ago not wanting it all relived
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2021 9:31:53 GMT
prawnking That's terrible. As others have said, hoping it's more positive than you fear.
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on Nov 29, 2021 9:40:47 GMT
Thanks guys, I'm trying to be as positive as possible, the further tests could be really positive and so on. After my partner 4 years ago not wanting it all relived I can only echo what others have already said, hope the results are better than feared. At this point, there are many opportunities for good news to come with results, treatment, effect of treatment etc.
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Nov 29, 2021 14:12:29 GMT
So my dad had a routine blood test on Friday, is of the age and so on checking for cholesterol and so on. He gets a phonecall 3:30am Saturday morning I'm guessing a new thing from the NHS, to say he had a high level of white blood cells, normally should be 10 per measure, his were 130, and he should go to the hospital as soon as possible, or at least after 8am..so he could have another test. After many hours of waiting around in a&e be has been told he has leukemia, something his dad died from. Tomorrow he has a CT scan and samples of bone marrow taken. Really hoping for good news, been caught early etc. Not really wanting to go through close loved one dying from cancer again. Sorry to hear this Prawn, shitty news. They're moving fast to get him tested which is good, as you say hopefully they've caught it early enough.
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Post by Sarfrin on Nov 29, 2021 15:47:43 GMT
Fingers crossed for him.
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 29, 2021 20:15:37 GMT
Thanks guys, I'm trying to be as positive as possible, the further tests could be really positive and so on. After my partner 4 years ago not wanting it all relived fingers crossed, pal - i remember the awful shit you went through last time and hope things have been caught early enough on here all the best to all of you x
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Dec 1, 2021 14:11:56 GMT
My dad finally had his test this week, and we know for sure that it's now spread outside of the prostate. It's spread to his pelvis, bones and potentially lymph nodes, so he starts hormone therapy tomorrow to slow down the spread until he speaks with the doctor about treatment options. By the sounds of it though he'll never be all clear, because it has spread, so they'll likely be monitoring him on an ongoing basis and the hormone therapy will be an ever-present thing now. Will just have to see what he's told next week and take it from there. It could have been worse (and of course could have been a lot better) but he knows now which takes a lot of the unknown off his mind, and we can do what we can to support him through it. Still fucking sucks though, and I'm fucking mad and sad and don't know where to vent. I made a stupid joke when he first went to the doctor about his prostate saying he'd do anything to be shot of us - seeing as we'd just relocated 200 miles and bought a new house to be near to the family - fucking hysterical in hindsight eh. Sounds like my dad had a fairly positive consultation with the oncologist this week, hormone injection next week and then possible trial options for future treatment. They're talking about the long-term which is good, so it's a case of regular check-ins, tests and monitoring, and taking it as it comes. I'm a little less anxious about it, and it could be far, far worse, we've just got to see what happens as the months go by and see what other options there are.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 1, 2021 14:20:08 GMT
fingers crossed, pal - they're very good at the close monitoring programmes, though the anxiety that comes with it each time doesn't diminish
glad you're taking the reassurances from the 'long-term' and knowing the support & treatment they're giving him - i found that demystifying the processes helped a lot as i knew what to expect...cancer is fucking hard enough without playing the waiting game or being in the limbo of the unknown
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Post by spacein_vader on Dec 8, 2021 8:42:26 GMT
I've missed my last 2 chemo treatment dates as my blood results weren't strong enough, finally having it today.
I've decided what's really killing me isn't this cancer. It's the pain I see in my daughters eyes when I kiss them good night.
Nobody should lose a parent at their age, and they certainly shouldn't have to watch it happen in slow motion, knowing what's to come.
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Post by drhcnip on Dec 8, 2021 9:04:09 GMT
having been through the mill with it the last 5 years or so, i can feel your pain with that one, pal
it was the main thing that broke my wife's heart and the pain in your words strikes home deeply
all i can say is that my daughter's shown great resilience and strength in the face of it all and in the year since her mum's death, though i think she's older than yours - i'm sure your daughters will both do the same and go on and make you proud when the time (hopefully in a long time) comes...
if you ever need to bend an empathic ear, just wing me a pm - it's horrible the way cancer doesn't just affect the patient, it devours the whole family
i wish you the best for your treatment today, hope it goes well
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2021 9:32:31 GMT
spacein_vader I too wish you all the best for the treatment today, and I really feel for you and your family.
As an aside, it was because of your post on the 18th Nov that I made a new appointment with the doctor and had some blood tests done. They've found a couple of things so got me booked in for more and an ultrasound. I can only thank you for prompting me to take action.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2021 13:56:47 GMT
Hi Space, you are right. No one should lose a parent at their age and what you and they are going through is fucking horrible. Take note of Drhcinp, you kids will survive and you will always be a part of them and they will treasure the memories they have of you. You are doing everything you possibly can to be there for them as a father and cannot do any more. They know that they are loved and cared for and that's not something a lot of children can say. I know that you would wish that you could be all better and that you could be there for them protecting them and loving them and they will know that and appreciate it. You have no doubt given them a better start than a great many fathers. Their time with you is precious and not something they dread.
So, yes it really bloody sucks and its so unfair. But you are doing what you can and none of this is your fault. None at all. You didn't choose to have cancer and you didn't choose what that will lead to. You have chosen to fight it and be there as long as you can for them and you should be fucking proud of what you are enduring for them. No dad could do more and you've more guts and are a better dad than me.
Take care mate. I can't possibly imagine how you feel, but you are doing the best you can and should be proud as I am sure they will be.
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Post by Sarfrin on Dec 8, 2021 15:40:39 GMT
What your daughters will remember most about now is the huge strength of character you showed at the hardest time in your life. That will stay with them forever.
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