スコットランド
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Delicious gruel
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Post by スコットランド on Oct 16, 2021 17:55:00 GMT
I didn’t want to bump this thread but it’s bumped now so. My dad passed away earlier this week. The side effects from the chemo gave him an infection that turned into pneumonia that he was ultimately too weak to fight off. Thought we’d have more time with him and I’d get to see him in person one last time but it wasn’t to be. Condolences, Gremmi. Really, really sorry to hear that. What an utter bastard of a disease.
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Post by Sarfrin on Oct 16, 2021 18:36:36 GMT
I haven't been here long but I lost my dad without a chance to say goodbye (years ago) so I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 16, 2021 19:35:41 GMT
Sorry for your loss Gremmi. Take care mate.
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JonFE
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Post by JonFE on Oct 17, 2021 1:33:31 GMT
My condolences 😎, sorry for your loss. Chemo is such a bitch; it's utterly nuts that you need to poison yourself and destroy your immune system, just for the off-chance you destroy some cancerous cells along with the healthy ones
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Post by convercide on Oct 17, 2021 15:56:09 GMT
Really sorry to hear that gremmi. If you need to chat/vent whatever you can always PM me if needed. If you need any support with what to do next, I'll offer advice where I can If needed to.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 18, 2021 14:05:24 GMT
Guy in my team (of 6) has just died of cancer. August 20th he was in work but bemoaning his Covid jab that had left him a bit tired and breathless. Turned out it wasn't the jab but was a very large tumour and by the time the Dr's discovered it, it was too late. I can't quite believe he was looking forward to retirement in a couple of years and was moaning about work 8 weeks ago like the rest of us. This is on top of going to my mid 40's boss's funeral last week (also cancer).
As they say, fuck cancer.
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Post by drhcnip on Oct 21, 2021 21:54:42 GMT
more shite news on here, i see - sending loads of sympathetic manhugs down the interweb chute to everyone affected recently...
it's a beast of a fucking thing for creeping up on you like that, witch, by the time they found mrs hcnip's, it had been growing for 8-10 years and was close to 20cm long and 10cm wide and just sitting like a hungry little jabba on her kidney...they managed to whup that one out but it had already got into the lymphatic system...
nasty little fucker of a disease, it really is
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Post by Danno on Oct 21, 2021 21:59:23 GMT
I want to hug you all. I hate this thread
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Post by Fake_Blood on Oct 23, 2021 19:53:56 GMT
Kind of having a rough day, lost both my parents to this thing, most recently my dad in January of this year. Thing is, each and every time I dream about them, they are sick. I was wondering if this is a common thing or if my brain just likes torturing me. Maybe I only remember the bad dreams. Wishing everyone in this thread the very best, be it fighting yourself, supporting a loved one, or just trying to get through the next day.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2021 20:10:21 GMT
Kind of having a rough day, lost both my parents to this thing, most recently my dad in January of this year. Thing is, each and every time I dream about them, they are sick. I was wondering if this is a common thing or if my brain just likes torturing me. Maybe I only remember the bad dreams. Wishing everyone in this thread the very best, be it fighting yourself, supporting a loved one, or just trying to get through the next day. Hiya, that sounds awful and I'm sorry you're going through it. The brain does like picking at sores, especially ones that it knows you're not comfortable with, as it's wants to understand why you're not comfortable so it can try and avoid a similar situation. It's what the brain does to keep you alive. This desire to keep you alive is part of the reason the brain has a negativity bias, so it focuses on things that go wrong so it can try to learn as much as possible about this thing you don't like. Added to that, your memories of your loved ones while sick would have been surrounded by very strong emotions and that coupled with the fact that those are the most recent memories you have, they will tend to surface more. My experience of losing loved ones has been similar to yours with regard to the memories. Your memories do get less painful and it becomes easier to remember better times, but it takes time. Of you haven't already, I'd recommend buying a couple of books on grief (go into Smith's and see which ones click with you) and maybe speaking to someone like a grief counselor. I did both and found it very helpful, especially realising that "no shit Sherlock", I wasn't the first person to have gone through this and that people do get through it. It takes time, but it gets easier. It is not nice though while you're going through it. I wish it were and I wish I had a way of making it all okay, but I can't. Again sorry mate. Tldr: speak to someone who knows more about this subject than I do and also read about it, as I think it will help.
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Post by Fake_Blood on Oct 23, 2021 21:07:11 GMT
Kind of having a rough day, lost both my parents to this thing, most recently my dad in January of this year. Thing is, each and every time I dream about them, they are sick. I was wondering if this is a common thing or if my brain just likes torturing me. Maybe I only remember the bad dreams. Wishing everyone in this thread the very best, be it fighting yourself, supporting a loved one, or just trying to get through the next day. Hiya, that sounds awful and I'm sorry you're going through it. The brain does like picking at sores, especially ones that it knows you're not comfortable with, as it's wants to understand why you're not comfortable so it can try and avoid a similar situation. It's what the brain does to keep you alive. This desire to keep you alive is part of the reason the brain has a negativity bias, so it focuses on things that go wrong so it can try to learn as much as possible about this thing you don't like. Added to that, your memories of your loved ones while sick would have been surrounded by very strong emotions and that coupled with the fact that those are the most recent memories you have, they will tend to surface more. My experience of losing loved ones has been similar to yours with regard to the memories. Your memories do get less painful and it becomes easier to remember better times, but it takes time. Of you haven't already, I'd recommend buying a couple of books on grief (go into Smith's and see which ones click with you) and maybe speaking to someone like a grief counselor. I did both and found it very helpful, especially realising that "no shit Sherlock", I wasn't the first person to have gone through this and that people do get through it. It takes time, but it gets easier. It is not nice though while you're going through it. I wish it were and I wish I had a way of making it all okay, but I can't. Again sorry mate. Tldr: speak to someone who knows more about this subject than I do and also read about it, as I think it will help. Thanks for the kind words, I'd wish I could do something for everyone here too. If nothing else, this thread shows that no one here is alone in this. I get what you're saying about the brain trying to avoid future bad stuff by analysing painful memories, but it's frustrating, I've got all these great memories it could choose instead. Like my dad was genuinely a fun guy to be around, I've got 39 years of memories but it wants to focus on those last 2 years. I've never considered reading about grief. Most of the time I'm fine, but then I'll have a bad day or two. I should probably try and do some reading when I'm doing ok, but those are also the days I try not to think too much about it.
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Post by Danno on Oct 23, 2021 21:36:37 GMT
If you can afford it then therapy is really worth considering for helping to process this sort of thing. Even just 4 sessions over the phone/zoom.
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Post by puddleduck on Oct 23, 2021 23:22:07 GMT
Reading about grief is a good suggestion. To use a tenuous metaphor.
If you had no idea what fog was and it suddenly came in and surrounded you, it would be easy to feel like getting out might be impossible. Knowing what it is though means understanding that it might pass soon or that if you carry on your path carefully you'll eventually pass through it.
I wish every one of you going through such a tough time the best in getting through to the other side of the fog.
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Post by MysteryLamb on Oct 25, 2021 23:47:08 GMT
I've avoided this thread since EG days and into the present. Too sacred to read it really. Too close to home. Tears rollicking now. So much love and support I don't feel worthy to contribute to. I give so much love to those fighting, those have won, and those who have lost.
My mum had incurable skin cancer on her scalp. It was a 9 year journey of constant skin grafts, chemo, and eventually an experimental drug that made her bladder burst that killed her. By the end 55% of her head was covered. She was such a wonderful woman, really such a great mum. A single mum that brought 3kids up in the right way despite her timidity. Despite what my father did to her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2021 0:16:31 GMT
Hey MysteryLamb, there's no such thing as "worthy" in this thread, but if there were, you're more than in that category.
I am really sorry about the difficult life that your mum sounds like she went through, but I'm glad that she was able to raise you and your siblings. You're a gamer and you're on Font Geek, so you've got to be an okay guy.
Its okay to remember her and cry when you need to it will help. Remember the good times and remember that you cry because of how wonderful she was and you were really fortunate to experience that.
Take care.
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Post by spacein_vader on Oct 29, 2021 15:22:04 GMT
6 chemo treatments down, I had a CT scan yesterday and will get the results next Tuesday.
They'll compare it to the pretreatment scan I had in July to see what impact (if any,) the chemo has had on the cancer and more importantly, a more accurate idea of how long I've got left.
I really want 1 more Christmas with the family...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2021 15:35:25 GMT
All the very very best of luck for Christmas dude, which you so thoroughly deserve.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2021 16:21:14 GMT
I hope you get the Christmas gift you're hoping for mate. You've gone through enough for it.
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Post by Techno Hippy on Oct 29, 2021 16:31:45 GMT
I hope it all goes well.
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JonFE
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Uncomfortably numb...
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Post by JonFE on Oct 29, 2021 16:59:13 GMT
I really wish you see that Xmas spacein_vader and more if possible; you are such an amazing guy, playing these awful cards you were given with so much dignity and courage...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2021 17:38:54 GMT
I'll echo the comments above spacein_vader. Can't begin to imagine what you're going through and you have my sincerest wishes that the outcome is what you hope for and you get that time with your family.
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Post by Honk If You're Horny? on Oct 29, 2021 17:50:53 GMT
100% agree with the others! Hoping for the best.
Let us know if there's any games that take your fancy and we can do a quick whip around and get that over to you.
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Frog
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Post by Frog on Oct 29, 2021 19:25:45 GMT
Absolutely heartbreaking. This thread has always been painful but this is a new level entirely. Much love to you and the family
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Post by grizzly on Oct 29, 2021 19:26:58 GMT
Much love to you spacein_vader.
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Post by Danno on Oct 29, 2021 21:14:56 GMT
I hope you have way longer than one Xmas, I need to bombard you with shitposts for so much longer. X
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Post by Dougs on Oct 29, 2021 22:48:26 GMT
Absolutely heartbreaking. This thread has always been painful but this is a new level entirely. Much love to you and the family Absolutely this. All the very best.
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Post by Matt A on Oct 29, 2021 22:56:04 GMT
Fingers crossed. Good luck
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Post by spacein_vader on Nov 1, 2021 1:39:11 GMT
Sat in A&E majors with some IV antibiotics after my temp got up to 39.9 last night.
Probably just a minor infection but even those can be fatal on chemo. Luckily starting to feel better.
Fuck cancer, fuck chemo and fuck infections caused by cancer and chemo.
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minimatt
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Post by minimatt on Nov 1, 2021 4:11:05 GMT
Christ I'm sorry to hear that spacein_vader
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Frog
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Post by Frog on Nov 1, 2021 6:53:26 GMT
How are you feeling this morning mate?
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