Random Rants (for Rob the Robber but I have beef anyway)

I've been playing Snooker Stars on my phone which has some of the most infuriating match making algorithms I've encountered. I'm hovering around the 50/30% ranking mark but I'm almost always matching up against top 10/5% players, and it's just matched me against a 1% player. I have no chance against these guys!

Oi, old people in the pool - there's a fucking etiquette when it comes to lane swimming, don't just plonk yourself in the middle of the entire pool whilst people are swimming and go 2mph.

Every fucking week.

I've been to that pool.

Where is this pool?

I’ve DM’d you.

Tried 5 different supermarkets over the last few days, one big four locals, and nowhere stocks lime cordial anymore.

Thanks Starmer.

My low-effort drink is ice, lime cordial, water, vodka. Made one just now to have while my hair dries.

Regards lime cordial, are you looking at the alcohol and mixer section too? It might be there. A Booze Busters or similar offie might have it too.

I do love the old Roses like. Legend has it that it’s the first cordial and was made as a concentrate to carry on ships to combat scurvy.

Isn't that a Martini? Man I'd love to start the day with a Martini... and a cigarette. 

And his hair is wet too... No hosepipe ban in Lizard's house!

Cobra on DVD

Red Dead Revolver?

Very close!

Drop Dead Fred?