The Divorce Force

My brother had a classic when divorcing his ex-wife. The father-in-law had helped with the odd bit of DIY about the house in the past, extra pair of hands when fitting some kitchen units or laying some laminate down, stuff like that.

When the divorce kicked off a few years later, my brother got a letter from a solicitor firm on behalf of the father-in-law, itemising and attempting to charge for every bit of physical help he lent his hand to during the marriage. He was asking for thousands.

Amazed the solicitors entertained the idea quite frankly, but I think they're often only too happy to take the money for drafting up demands from absolute nutters, even though they know it has no chance of going anywhere.

They divorced eventually, but the ex-wife has since reneged on all agreed child custody arrangements, refusing to let my brother see his son properly for nearly a year now.

She's done this a few times, leaving my brother no choice each time but to go to court. He usually gets what he wants in fairness and normality resumes, but she eventually kicks off again, making absurd claims which of course the court feel they have to investigate, reducing my brother back down to either no contact at all or only through a contact centre for 1 hour every 2 weeks, something he has to pay a £50 fee for each time at the moment, just to really twist the knife.

The system is fucked basically. His ex-wife can basically kick off for any reason she dreams up at will and the whole thing resets again, with seemingly no legal comeback for the emotional or financial anguish she causes each time. Mental.

Jesus, that's fucking rough. Glad you've got your head sorted with it

Yeah that’s rough man it must have been awful, I remember bits of that from when you spoke about it on the eg forum. Like somebody else said though Most guys who have got divorced and gone through this sort of shite and come out the other side are thankful for not being with the woman and move on well. To a lesser extent Me Included...

I for one hope quaddy is getting some serious action.

Long time lurker, first time poster here. So be gentle (and go easy on my English!). Felt compelled to write something down. A lot of these posts are so very relatable (and consoling, in a way).

I'm in the middle of this shitstorm right now. Basically broke up two years ago with a demon girlfriend after some 15 years. She's lost the plot after having our second one. Both having months of sleepless nights pretty much laid bare all the shortcomings in our relationship. So we got to that point of no return.

Then covid came along and we got locked down. Had to stay for some 1,5 years under the same roof, while finding a steady job to finance a new place. All the while trying to 'grey rock' her and diffuse every situation because there were two little kids to be taken care of. Happy times.

I thought I was doing quite well, considering these circumstances, even aiming to have a healthy relationship as co-parents moving forward. Turned out, as soon as I got the keys the my rental appartment, she decided to claim ownership of our house, blow up our preliminary 50/50 financial agreements, ditch our mediator and, to top it off, fuck a stranger in our (former) bedroom, with all my stuff still laying around.

All this within one week. I hadn't even moved out properly yet.

And the thing that stings even more is that socially she's occupying the 'victim' role ever since. Blaming me for not cooperating. Can't do much about any of this, except lawyering up and fighting back. At least I formally have my equal share of time with the kids, which is the main thing.

Such a dark and shitty summer... It truly is about about keeping it together and slowly leveling up. (So guess I'll be visiting the "going bald yet?"-thread next. After that the "match.com"-thread.)

Can I suggest paying a visit to her garden and writing about the trip in The Poo Diaries first?

Ooh, he read post good.

What a crock. Sorry to hear about that. But at least you've recognised it all and know what to do going forward. It does get better. Just takes so fucking long.

Fucking relationships are a pain in the arse

Figuratively speaking, of course

I've got a friend who's about mid 50s now, went through the ordeal in his mid 30s. Always been into Taekwando, got incredible at it to the point he was training in Korea with the best in the world. Openly admits it wasn't the best thing to do as a newly wed to take your wife Iver there and train without her for 8 hours a day.

Anyway, he always had a reputation as a rough fucker and would fight anyone if they bought it to his door, or 'his' pub. Their relationship soured, he started getting into weightlifting (which is where I met him 10 years later), they struggled and couldn't have kids and soon enough she found another bloke. It got to the point where they were still living together but she'd try and get into his head, tell him really fucked up things, try and get a raise out of him and asked him to push her down the stairs. So she'd get the house...

She ended up moving out and he had a bit of a rough time due to getting made redundant, but started his old painting and decorating trade and got back into Taekwando, where he's become a decorated British champion and is sparing and reffing the best of the younger generations.

That's the closest I've witnessed how far a woman will go to get her way, fortunately they were never able to have kids.

/cool story bro.

Heh, my first thought, too. Wouldn’t be surprised, it’s a small world innit.