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Post by Dougs on Feb 19, 2024 20:09:51 GMT
Ah. That's tough knighty. It's an important part of growing up though, sadly.
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drakesmoke
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The simple things in life are all complicated
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Post by drakesmoke on Feb 19, 2024 20:18:26 GMT
I think if not the whole point of that type of pet, then, in a grim way, a useful side effect, is to provide kids with an education about life and death. Ours was called Mr Nibbles. He once half cannibalised a sibling alive. Bit of a horrible useless little thing that just hid in the straw until you were trying to get to sleep, and then he would rattle and clank with those massive hampster bollocks that they all have (the boy ones). When he died ours (child not hamster) was 9 I think (that would have been remarkable for a hamster). I remember it like yesterday, I picked her up and rocked her like a baby on my knee as she sobbed, and she really, really badly farted. Proper nose wrinkler. We didn’t know whether it was appropriate to but we did offer her to see him and say goodbye. I’m glad she said no, as in hindsight presenting her with a dwarf hamster carcass would have felt a bit off. So into the bin he f*cked. She was over it by bedtime, the little trooper, but be prepared to be asked for a replacement and not necessarily of an equivalent pet! Mr Nibbles does live on as my mum bought the three of us a felt covered polar bear each to hang under the tree at Xmas, and daughter’s is called ,well, you guessed it. Hope it goes/went well knighty. And never underestimate the cheer-up power of a McDonalds for kids. God, I’m a terrible parent.
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knighty
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Post by knighty on Feb 19, 2024 20:45:19 GMT
Actually, that helped!
He took it really well, I just tore off the plaster and told him as soon as I saw him. He was shocked, cried, and other than moments of sadness he’s been fine. I’m expecting the odd random bout of tears over the next week, and possibly having to visit a cemetery (he’s asked where the vets are burying him and wants to visit. I need to remove the box from the back of my car).
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Feb 19, 2024 21:10:09 GMT
Yea wait till they lose a grandparent or similar close one, then it really hits home (IME) how resilient kids really are compared to us Muppet adults. I remember taking our boys off to see my mum in hospital for the last time/goodbyes, they were really pretty relaxed about the whole affair, I think because they'd been so used to seeing Mrs Mercury in and out of hospital over the years, my brothers kids (who've (luckily) never so much as seen the inside of a hospital up until then) were absolutely freaked out by the whole affair and were in bits.
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Post by rawshark on Feb 20, 2024 11:31:08 GMT
Sorry to hear that. No easy way to have that conversation. Maybe it’s a good time to broach the concept of passing on and letting him know that it’s part of life and that it’s ok to be sad.
Edit: woops, too late. Sounds like it went alright though.
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dam
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Post by dam on Feb 20, 2024 13:42:48 GMT
I think kids know there grandparents are old and won't be around forever, and know it will happen one day. It's more shitty for us as they are our parents. We know it will happen too, but prefer not to think about it.
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Post by Dougs on Feb 20, 2024 14:56:25 GMT
Truth. I see reports of people dying in their 80s and go "ah, good innings that." And then remember that my mum was 84 and it still didn't feel like long enough, and my dad was 75, so definitely wasn't long enough!
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mikeck
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Post by mikeck on Feb 20, 2024 15:21:25 GMT
It's such a hard subject. My daughter lost her Nanny when she 3 (my wife's mum) and with my Dad's prognosis she's going to lose a other grandparent when she's about 8. Having the grandad is very ill conversation was very hard as she point blank asked if he was going to die. Hard for her, but also that's my dad...
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Post by rawshark on Feb 26, 2024 20:50:15 GMT
Teething.
I was looking at my son this morning, with the various liquids and substances of varying levels of viscosity pouring out of him, and thought to myself “he could be a physics engine tech demo.”
If Sony had used a one year old instead of a bathtub filled with rubber ducks, the PS3 would have had a much better launch.
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Post by RumMonkey on Feb 26, 2024 21:17:53 GMT
Teething was horrendous for about a week and then my wife saw some hippy dippy crap about a magic bracelet that soothes the pain just from them wearing it. I was sceptical but fucking hell it seemed to actually work.
Whether she just had an easy go of it after the first week I don't know, but I'm now signed up to the amber bracelet cult.
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Post by simple on Feb 27, 2024 0:35:09 GMT
Our big teething relief hit was some kind of powder that you had to run around his gums like a cop testing coke in a movie
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Post by Dougs on Feb 27, 2024 6:17:42 GMT
Another awful day for the eldest yesterday. Some shitbags pinned him back in the changing rooms after PE and pelted his face with balls. Obviously we're going to speak to the school about it, but what it has done has flushed out how unhappy he is there. He's constantly the butt of the joke and says he doesn't have any friends. He's had run ins with people which we've addressed by moving classes etc, and we've tried to understand how else he's getting on. But this is the first time he's said he's unhappy and wants to leave the school. He usually brushes things off and says things are fine. He starts his GCSEs in September so we need to something soon.
The problem is that the other state schools are shite, so I'm not convinced that things will be any better elsewhere. I don't think we have a choice other than to try and get him in to a smaller private school, using inheritance that I am due (once we sell my mum's house...). Don't know how we can afford it until then at 4k a term though! Plus all the other bullshit!
It was absolutely heartbreaking to see him so unhappy and we both had a big cry together.
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nexus6
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Post by nexus6 on Feb 27, 2024 8:23:29 GMT
Another awful day for the eldest yesterday. Some shitbags pinned him back in the changing rooms after PE and pelted his face with balls. Obviously we're going to speak to the school about it, but what it has done has flushed out how unhappy he is there. He's constantly the butt of the joke and says he doesn't have any friends. He's had run ins with people which we've addressed by moving classes etc, and we've tried to understand how else he's getting on. But this is the first time he's said he's unhappy and wants to leave the school. He usually brushes things off and says things are fine. He starts his GCSEs in September so we need to something soon. The problem is that the other state schools are shite, so I'm not convinced that things will be any better elsewhere. I don't think we have a choice other than to try and get him in to a smaller private school, using inheritance that I am due (once we sell my mum's house...). Don't know how we can afford it until then at 4k a term though! Plus all the other bullshit! It was absolutely heartbreaking to see him so unhappy and we both had a big cry together. p That’s shite mate - for you and him. I know you’re doing it already but you should definitely get to the school asap and get them to action something on those that assaulted your boy. Threaten police action if needs be. Why should you move school just because they are dicks? Hope you can work something out
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Post by Dougs on Feb 27, 2024 8:36:40 GMT
Yeah, we've been in touch with the school about the incident and also highlighted how unhappy he is, asking for support to help him. The worst thing is that my wife works with kids who refuse to go to school for different reasons, so she now feels properly shit that she can't help her own son!
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Post by A46Matt on Feb 27, 2024 8:50:34 GMT
So our 5 week old does not like to sleep. She’ll get a total of a few hours through the day in very short bursts between cluster feeds and then maybe 5 hours through the night. But the night sleeping brings constant grunting. Nobody prepared us for the grunting!
She was sicking up a lot a couple of weeks ago so the docs got us to try infant gaviscon. We’re not sure if she’s suffering with reflux which is causing the grunting and lack of sleeping or what really. Arms and legs are on the go constantly too which can’t be helping. She’s gaining weight and growing quickly and is otherwise apparently healthy, very frustrating.
Being a new parent is fun!
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on Feb 27, 2024 9:14:44 GMT
How likely are the worst of the dicks to leave after their gcse's Dougs? Our lad's school life got better after the first set of exams and will likely improve even more after the first round of highers.
All the bams start leaving at 16-17, which makes it more enjoyable for them.
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nexus6
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Post by nexus6 on Feb 27, 2024 9:53:09 GMT
So our 5 week old does not like to sleep. She’ll get a total of a few hours through the day in very short bursts between cluster feeds and then maybe 5 hours through the night. But the night sleeping brings constant grunting. Nobody prepared us for the grunting! She was sicking up a lot a couple of weeks ago so the docs got us to try infant gaviscon. We’re not sure if she’s suffering with reflux which is causing the grunting and lack of sleeping or what really. Arms and legs are on the go constantly too which can’t be helping. She’s gaining weight and growing quickly and is otherwise apparently healthy, very frustrating. Being a new parent is fun! Bummer. That sounds like our wee one when she was young. The thrashing around arms and legs thing. She was sick after literally every feed at the time. And she was tube fed for months as she hadn’t developed the ability to swallow or suck. It sounds like reflux to me from what you describe. Hers was partly due to low muscle tone - maybe yours is outgrowing her tummy muscles!
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Post by Dougs on Feb 27, 2024 9:55:19 GMT
Vortex Very likely. We've tried to say that to him - he's pretty much done 3/5 of his secondary school life. And I think there's a good chance that it'll be easier for him in GCSEs as they will be streamed/taking different subjects. Doesn't help the lunchtime stuff but he's a bit more chill about that today. I think on top of the dickheads, it all just felt a bit much yesterday. We've given him a day at home today.
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nexus6
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Post by nexus6 on Feb 27, 2024 9:58:34 GMT
Vortex Very likely. We've tried to say that to him - he's pretty much done 3/5 of his secondary school life. And I think there's a good chance that it'll be easier for him in GCSEs as they will be streamed/taking different subjects. Doesn't help the lunchtime stuff but he's a bit more chill about that today. I think on top of the dickheads, it all just felt a bit much yesterday. We've given him a day at home today. Maybe seeing his dad empathise and feel hurt in the same manner as him has shown he’s not in it alone. Played a blinder maybe!
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Post by grey_matters on Feb 27, 2024 10:15:41 GMT
Yeah, from afar it sounds like great fucking daddying in a really tough spot.
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Post by rawshark on Feb 27, 2024 10:37:33 GMT
I was going to say he might feel like he's got no friends, but he clearly does. You'll get through it together.
I know what it's like to have pinch points in school where you can't avoid the cunts that make you miserable. If PE is becoming one of those points and he's dreading the changing rooms, I'd probably just tell him to sack it off. If the school has a problem with it, tell them they're not doing enough to keep him out of harm.
It's crap being the one that is the butt of the jokes - and there is always one in every group. I just hope that actually behind the jokes the kids do see him as a friend and they're just getting carried away. (Basing this on personal experience - my gang would say that I'd wank in front of my dog on a daily basis. They were friends and I still know them to this day, but yeah it's not a memory I cherish one bit). It's hard not to rise up to it but that's the reaction they're all looking for.
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Post by A46Matt on Feb 27, 2024 10:43:17 GMT
So our 5 week old does not like to sleep. She’ll get a total of a few hours through the day in very short bursts between cluster feeds and then maybe 5 hours through the night. But the night sleeping brings constant grunting. Nobody prepared us for the grunting! She was sicking up a lot a couple of weeks ago so the docs got us to try infant gaviscon. We’re not sure if she’s suffering with reflux which is causing the grunting and lack of sleeping or what really. Arms and legs are on the go constantly too which can’t be helping. She’s gaining weight and growing quickly and is otherwise apparently healthy, very frustrating. Being a new parent is fun! Bummer. That sounds like our wee one when she was young. The thrashing around arms and legs thing. She was sick after literally every feed at the time. And she was tube fed for months as she hadn’t developed the ability to swallow or suck. It sounds like reflux to me from what you describe. Hers was partly due to low muscle tone - maybe yours is outgrowing her tummy muscles! She’s not being sick after every feed now if we can keep her still in the same position for 20-30 minutes once she’s finished. But if her legs get thrashing around afterwards then guaranteed to be sick. She also over feeds too as she is always ravenous and wants to guzzle so the Mrs is trying to pace feed but it’s difficult with breast feeding. Keep getting told that you can’t overfeed a breast fed baby but that doesn’t seem to be true here. Just getting told that whilst she’s growing (she’s over 11lbs and 60cm already) and not in visible distress then just gotta deal with it and hope she stops. Dr also suggested maybe a cows milk issue so the wife has stopped dairy in her diet but that hasn’t changed anything.
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Post by Dougs on Feb 27, 2024 10:49:26 GMT
rawshark I think that's it, and we've tried to say that if he did leave, they would miss him, as I agree it seems like they are friends. As you say, every group has one. I think half the problem is that they're all so immature still - at some point he'll be able to have a serious conversation with one or two without it leading to yet more piss taking. He said he'd rather put up with the piss taking than be alone. Just wish it was easier for him. It's always got its ups and downs for everyone but definitely harder for some. He knows we've got his back though and feels supported. Not much more we can do in the absence of a £30k windfall!
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Post by simple on Feb 27, 2024 11:26:32 GMT
Well after the wraparound provider for my son’s school went into liquidation the day before half-term a new one has been found. Initially we were told the kids would be taken offsite and looked after in the community centre until a more permanent deal could be struck. Found out during half-term that the new provider is now taking on the onsite wraparound building and hiring all the staff who worked there under the old watch.
No refunds and we have to pay the new guys so its cost us double but at least that’s one problem solved.
The new problem:
The schools in our area had a deal where the meals were contracted out to a much larger neighbouring local authority. From Easter that local authority is cutting its school meals provision due to budget constraints so my son’s school will no longer be providing hot food at lunchtime.
Instead we’ve been given a sandwich menu (cheese, chicken, ham, tuna) and asked to pick one. The child will then get that same sandwich *every day* until a new caterer is found. The school doesn’t have full kitchen facilities so it will need to be someone who can cook offsite and bring it in. The neighbouring local authority had had the nearest large enough school kitchens hence the previous arrangement.
The sandwich will come with crisps, biscuit and juicebox.
I guarantee my son will be coming home having only had juice and his biscuit most days.
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knighty
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Post by knighty on Feb 27, 2024 11:52:55 GMT
Can you not send him in with a lunchbox and chose what goes in?
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Post by technoish on Feb 27, 2024 12:10:05 GMT
Growing up abroad, school lunches just weren't a thing! Homemade sandwiches and stuff all the way through. In secondary school I got money to by a hot sandwich once a week
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Post by RumMonkey on Feb 27, 2024 12:20:13 GMT
When I lived in Holland it was a NATO school funded by the Americans. They had free access to Subway, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Mcdonalds etc while us Brit kids were going in with our crappy packed lunches. Obviously better for our health long term but you don't care about that as a kid watching everyone else eating pizza and burgers.
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Post by simple on Feb 27, 2024 12:40:30 GMT
They might change the policy in light of the lack of hot food but it had been that because reception, yr1 and yr2 get free school meals that only yr3 and 4 had the option of bringing in lunches.
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Post by technoish on Feb 27, 2024 12:58:21 GMT
Some kids at our school bring in pack lunches regardless of the free (well, funded) option for key stage 1.
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Post by pierrepressure on Feb 27, 2024 13:31:53 GMT
Just read recently that the government are looking to ban phones at school, something that I'm extremely happy with. It'll be too late for my eldest who is just about to take his gcses but for youngest who is 5, this will help as we want to delay giving him a mobile for as long as possible.
I know all kids are different and the phone does have its uses but the transformation we've seen in our eldest has been cataclysmic, he had a proper cry about having it taken off him due to misbehaviour the other day and this morning used absolutely awful language when arguing with his mother after he got the phone taken again. He then decided to try to take the mac and switch in retaliation which meant we had to resort to threaten to cancel his phone contract. Luckily he gave the stuff back, it's not like I can manhandle it off him.
Thank goodness for sertraline!
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