Duffman5
Junior Member
big cook, little cook welcome to our cafe
Posts: 1,332
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Post by Duffman5 on Dec 16, 2022 11:30:36 GMT
Morning Ratfans
...It was only a matter of time, what with all these plethora of "such and such" 2022. Obviously a MOD could and should shut this shite down.
Oh Yeah!
..anyway for those of you participating in onanism, STOP IT and do some press ups instead, that was I learned on my Andrew Tate thing that appeared on my YT page.
Beefcakeeeeeeeee
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,481
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Post by Lizard on Dec 16, 2022 11:39:37 GMT
Thread does not deliver. I want a review of your best hand-shandy of 2022, Duffman - poor form IMO.
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Duffman5
Junior Member
big cook, little cook welcome to our cafe
Posts: 1,332
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Post by Duffman5 on Dec 16, 2022 11:42:45 GMT
...at least your tag delivers  also the thread would have then been called MY ... |
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Post by Danno on Dec 16, 2022 11:52:11 GMT
I do pressups and get a jam shandy at the same time. Put a pot of jam beneath you for jollies.
GAINS.
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wunty
Full Member
Pastry Forward
Posts: 6,673
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Post by wunty on Dec 16, 2022 11:57:03 GMT
I don't drink
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Post by LegendaryApe on Dec 16, 2022 12:08:33 GMT
Press ups are great, everyone should do some everyday, if medically able.
Though I'd prefer a big sweaty wank
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addyb
New Member
Posts: 574
Member is Online
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Post by addyb on Dec 16, 2022 13:56:53 GMT
One handed press-ups whilst wanking makes your arms proper swole.
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Post by DJCopa on Dec 16, 2022 16:09:21 GMT
Topless, surely?
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 16, 2022 16:46:02 GMT
That's no arm
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Post by rawshark on Dec 16, 2022 23:27:46 GMT
The missus said she wanted a baby. So I left it in.
That was in May. Hole in one. Pregnant immediately. Haven’t had sex since then.
With this temperature, I might as well have joined The Black. Except even Samwell Tarly got some sex at The Wall. Oath be damned.
I miss handjobs. Even the dry ones. The hurty ones.
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wunty
Full Member
Pastry Forward
Posts: 6,673
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Post by wunty on Dec 17, 2022 0:16:21 GMT
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Duffman5
Junior Member
big cook, little cook welcome to our cafe
Posts: 1,332
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Post by Duffman5 on Dec 17, 2022 6:43:55 GMT
rawsharkCongratulations mate. Not sure if we still have our dad's thread?!
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Post by Zuluhero on Dec 17, 2022 10:50:31 GMT
If not, this thread should be repurposed.
We can all give each other a hand to get through all the trials and tribulations of fatherhood and just give us a general place to let off steam.
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Post by Zuluhero on Dec 17, 2022 10:52:05 GMT
Congrats on the sex though Rawshark.
Obligatory username checks out.
Maybe if you stuck with being CoveredShark, you'd have had more...
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wunty
Full Member
Pastry Forward
Posts: 6,673
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Post by wunty on Dec 17, 2022 11:03:36 GMT
If not, this thread should be repurposed. We can all give each other a hand… Sounds like the thread doesn’t need to be repurposed then. Alright. Who’s doing who first. |
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Post by Zuluhero on Dec 17, 2022 11:12:08 GMT
Lets stand in a line in order of Soulsborne favourites. The game with the fewest people goes first.
Seems like a fair way to draw the short straw on a gaming forum?
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deebs
New Member
So I was killing this pig with a hammer
Posts: 788
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Post by deebs on Dec 18, 2022 1:01:54 GMT
Re-re-purposing this thread back to where it should be.
Polished off a cracker a couple of weekends ago when the missus was off in church (I know, she's a septic tho, what can you do?).
Anyway, thought I was going to have a stroke of the brain variety, such was the voracity of the moneyshot. Put me straight back to sleep till midday. Perfect.
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Post by Saul1138 on Dec 18, 2022 2:50:38 GMT
Was it a thanksgiving hand job?
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addyb
New Member
Posts: 574
Member is Online
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Post by addyb on Dec 18, 2022 11:16:28 GMT
Handjobs are not the same since I lost my turtle neck in Feb. It's most upsetting.
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Post by rawshark on Dec 18, 2022 18:18:21 GMT
Handjobs are not the same since I lost my turtle neck in Feb. It's most upsetting. To put it in Bash Street Kids terms, you went from a Wilfred to a Plug? I imagine some kind of lube is absolutely mandatory… Roundheads require a bit more forward planning that Cavaliers. |
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addyb
New Member
Posts: 574
Member is Online
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Post by addyb on Dec 18, 2022 18:26:32 GMT
Handjobs are not the same since I lost my turtle neck in Feb. It's most upsetting. To put it in Bash Street Kids terms, you went from a Wilfred to a Plug? I imagine some kind of lube is absolutely mandatory… Roundheads require a bit more forward planning that Cavaliers. Aye there is that. Worst thing is the sensation isn't the same. It's far less sensitive now. Much disappoint. |
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Post by Danno on Dec 19, 2022 2:53:50 GMT
There are euphemisms here and I'm not sure how curious to be
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deebs
New Member
So I was killing this pig with a hammer
Posts: 788
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Post by deebs on Dec 19, 2022 4:20:43 GMT
It's all about having an eye jittering squirt that ultimately winds up in a Nike sock. You don't need Scooby and the gang to work it out.
Tho I would watch that episode.
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Post by Saul1138 on Dec 19, 2022 4:24:17 GMT
I use ankle socks. Otherwise, I make too much of a mess with a full length sock.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 19, 2022 9:59:13 GMT
Handjobs are not the same since I lost my turtle neck in Feb. It's most upsetting. Solidarity mate. I had mine lopped off when I was a kid so I've never known any different |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Dec 19, 2022 11:46:25 GMT
Thread mood's taking a turn, need more happy wanking stories
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Post by LegendaryApe on Dec 19, 2022 16:07:41 GMT
I am also devoid of dick tip. As the skin was too tight for the head.
My wife identifies as asexual, so I have lots of practice with Le old hand shandy.
The standing ones are dangerous, but make me feel alive.
I usually do it before bed, so get that nice relaxed feeling before heading off to the land of dreams.
There are many devices now to simulate different activities, though the effort of cleaning and maintenance put me off
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dogbot
Full Member
Posts: 8,738
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Post by dogbot on Dec 19, 2022 16:09:03 GMT
There are euphemisms here and I'm not sure how curious to be They're talking about wanking. HTH. |
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Duffman5
Junior Member
big cook, little cook welcome to our cafe
Posts: 1,332
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Post by Duffman5 on Dec 20, 2022 7:26:58 GMT
There are euphemisms here and I'm not sure how curious to be They're talking about wanking. HTH. It's all about Prostate health! |
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nexus6
Junior Member
Posts: 2,526
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Post by nexus6 on Dec 20, 2022 9:05:05 GMT
‘Font Geek? Oh yes dear, it’s just a place where guys can get together and talk about computer games and wanking. It’s lovely’
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