Goban
New Member
Posts: 289
|
Post by Goban on Sept 19, 2021 3:04:12 GMT
Fuck! That puts my location moans into perspective. How did you end up there?
|
|
|
Post by dominalien on Sept 19, 2021 6:39:18 GMT
Oh, quaddy.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 19, 2021 11:18:10 GMT
It's just happened over the years. When I first met her, about 10 years or so ago I was with my wife at the time. You know what it's like, you meet someone and while you're happily doing your own thing, you know you could be with this new person as clear as day, but you just get on with your life. Turns out, she thought exactly the same about me. Both went about our business but over the years we've become good friends. And then one fateful evening we were chatting in the pub along with everyone else (this was about a year ago) and it just all came out on both sides when we were having a cigarette outside the pub on our own We were both pretty stunned tbh. It's just a shitty situation where you can't do anything. She says she'll give me a ring in 10-15 years when the kids have grown up Thanks fate, you wanker.
|
|
|
Post by LegendaryApe on Sept 19, 2021 11:44:17 GMT
I hope everything works out for you Quaddy.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 19, 2021 11:51:50 GMT
Nowt to work out!
She's only with the guy for the kids sanity. Not my place to comment really, but when they argue, it does the kids heads in, understandably. But there are pros and cons for both staying together and calling it quits. Neither of which is my business.
As usual, time will tell
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Sept 19, 2021 12:31:36 GMT
Have to say, staying together for the kids never quite struck me as the right approach. Probably doing more damage if the relationship is that bad/violent. But as you say, not your place to interfere.
|
|
Lukus
Junior Member
Posts: 2,390
|
Post by Lukus on Sept 19, 2021 12:56:43 GMT
Probably worth keeping in mind how easy it is to romanticise an imaginary scenario and to put someone on a pedestal when they're out of reach. Especially when you've not had the chance to find out how annoying they are in the reality of a relationship. It's as likely that you've dodged a bullet as it is you've missed The One.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 19, 2021 13:06:19 GMT
Yup, like I say, pros and cons to staying/leaving. Totally depends on the people, the situation and various other factors. And it's fuck all to do with me, it's their situation to sort.
Don't get me wrong, theres no way it'd work in this lifetime with the situation, plus the kids etc. It's a no go, and end of.
But over the last ten years we've got to know each other, I can say that we'd be good together but it's not to be unfortunately.
Just a shame really, noticing a potential.
|
|
mrharvest
New Member
Registered 18 years ago Posts 5,718
Posts: 373
|
Post by mrharvest on Sept 19, 2021 18:25:57 GMT
Personally I think if she's not happy in that relationship and they've tried to solve it then they probably should split up, kids or not. That should be entirely separate from does she want to get with you or someone else.
I think living in an unhappy relationship "for your kids" is one of the most tragic things you can do.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 20, 2021 12:06:10 GMT
Yup, and like I say, it's their decision. I'm not even going to bother posting what I think because it's just up to them. The whole thing has car crash written all over it tbh, regardless of me being around anyway. From my point of view, why the fuck would I want to pick up the pieces of a train wreck? If they do split up, then they're going need to spend time on themselves and the kids. I nearly didn't post all this because I knew it'd end up like this anyway In fact, forget it guys - I'll go to the pub later, get drunk and chat someone else up and see what happens
|
|
marcp
New Member
Posts: 276
|
Post by marcp on Sept 20, 2021 12:24:35 GMT
Yup, and like I say, it's their decision. I'm not even going to bother posting what I think because it's just up to them. The whole thing has car crash written all over it tbh, regardless of me being around anyway. From my point of view, why the fuck would I want to pick up the pieces of a train wreck? If they do split up, then they're going need to spend time on themselves and the kids. I nearly didn't post all this because I knew it'd end up like this anyway In fact, forget it guys - I'll go to the pub later, get drunk and chat someone else up and see what happens On the other hand, my soon-to-be wife was someone I dated for a little while as teens. Didn't see each other for almost 20 years, bumped back into each other at a gig while we were still with other people, and there was still something there. Kept in constant touch for 12 months until she announced sh'e'd had enough and had left her husband. Went out for a drink together and I did the same a week later (I must point out, that although that sounds dreadful, both were very poisonous relationships). It's been hard (5 kids between us!), but it's certainly the best thing that's ever happened to me. We were lucky in that she's got a very decent job so was able to walk away from the entire situation, I understand it's not that simple for some.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 20, 2021 13:00:05 GMT
Yes, sometimes it's not as simple as just breaking up because it's the right thing to do. A hell of a lot of people are together for their children, and once they move out and become independent, the couple then split up half the time. A lot of people make sacrifices.
Whether that's right, or wrong, or the kids become resilient if they do split up, or encounter mental issues themselves is all part of the same shitty bag.
|
|
|
Post by Jambowayoh on Sept 20, 2021 13:26:06 GMT
As a child of a separation my parents splitting up was the best thing because I'd always notice the atmosphere and the arguments were sometimes absolutely spiteful. Tis no way for a child to grow up frankly.
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Sept 20, 2021 13:49:06 GMT
That's how it is for the 2 kids I'm on about. When the dad is shouting, the youngest (who is a bit on the spectrum as well), gets very upset and runs to his mum after it's all over, and says he doesn't like it. He's 7 for fucks sake.
I know the dad too, and he's got depression, he's suicidal and controlling. It's a fucking nightmare.
Anyway, this is derailing from this thread. Let's move on.
|
|
Goban
New Member
Posts: 289
|
Post by Goban on Sept 20, 2021 13:52:52 GMT
An unfortunate and interesting melodrama, far more exciting than the series of dull messaging I'm going through.
|
|
Goban
New Member
Posts: 289
|
Post by Goban on Sept 22, 2021 20:25:43 GMT
Well after a week or so of swiping my limited pool I've decided to ditch the whole dating app thing. Think it's better if I focus on family, friends, work and my house for the time being and not get obsessed with fucking dating apps.
|
|
|
Post by 😎 on Sept 22, 2021 22:03:03 GMT
I misread that as you were going to give up the app and focus on dating your family.
ROLL TIDE
|
|
zagibu
Junior Member
Posts: 1,612
Member is Online
|
Post by zagibu on Sept 22, 2021 22:03:41 GMT
Staying together for the kids is never the right choice. People who do it usually become bitter and sometimes even love their children less, because they gave up so much for them, and they didn't even realize it.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2021 22:29:16 GMT
Well 4 dates and she says she just feels friend zone. Same as last 3 women I actually like. Internet dating seems 100% I like them and they are not keen, or they like me and I am not keen.
Think I am done.
|
|
|
Post by Jambowayoh on Sept 22, 2021 22:40:39 GMT
Well at least she was honest. I feel your annoyance though man, not at them but just the defeat you end up feeling at times. It's definitely difficult to keep positive and keep putting yourself out there to end up back where you started. For myself I've just focused on enjoying the positive parts of being single which there are, but yeah, sometimes it gets difficult to keep positive moreso as you get older.
|
|
zagibu
Junior Member
Posts: 1,612
Member is Online
|
Post by zagibu on Sept 22, 2021 23:27:24 GMT
Well 4 dates and she says she just feels friend zone. Same as last 3 women I actually like. Internet dating seems 100% I like them and they are not keen, or they like me and I am not keen. Think I am done. Doesn't seem to be much different than regular dating to me in this regard.
|
|
|
Post by LegendaryApe on Sept 23, 2021 5:51:28 GMT
Well 4 dates and she says she just feels friend zone. Same as last 3 women I actually like. Internet dating seems 100% I like them and they are not keen, or they like me and I am not keen. Think I am done. You're going to have to do something to make her think of you as a mate. Have you ever punched a heron?
|
|
Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 3,951
Member is Online
|
Post by Lizard on Sept 23, 2021 5:54:20 GMT
You need that RodimusPrime swagger.
|
|
|
Post by supersoupy on Sept 24, 2021 16:16:53 GMT
You folks ever break up with someone (no harsh intentions, just not feeling right in the relationship), then double-back the next day because you suddenly feel something if they go?
And you don't know whether it's because of a genuine love for them, or just the temporary attachment you get to avoid the pain of breaking up?
Yeah... happened to me the other day. And I honestly don't know which side the coin falls on feelings-wise. I guess time will tell. Ugh, fuck relationships are unnecessarily complicated.
|
|
|
Post by Rodimus-Prime on Sept 25, 2021 11:47:39 GMT
You need that RodimusPrime swagger. Yeah, i don't know. I think i was just fortunate with the time i signed up. I got a lot of interest very quickly, and a good percentage of those women were good conversationalists. That's the biggest stumbling block with online dating for me - a lot of women are really quite boring. What the apps should do, is make it so a person's photo is the background of the messaging page. If it's a good portrait, the new messages should show up around the chest area, which might make it better for some of the especially dull or vapid ones. I implemented a simple rule. If i message first, the woman has 5 messages to wow me. If she messages first, she has 3. Though in truth i stopped looking at the app because i've been getting on so well with the first woman i met from there. Three very good dates, and she just happens to tick some of physical trait boxes. Like, women of all sorts can be beautiful, but i find it especially hot when a woman has significantly darker eyebrows than hair, and she has a nose piercing too. So i lucked out. Unfortunately i find myself in the unfamiliar situation of fancying someone at work, who depending on the way the wind is blowing, i'm between 80% and 45% sure she doesn't feel the same way.
|
|
|
Post by trafford on Sept 25, 2021 22:08:59 GMT
I've got a nice date tomorrow. A woman I met earlier this year in a zoom meeting. Since the meetings have resumed last month in the physical sense we've really hit it off. We make each other laugh, easy flirting. I shall be going for my trusted, friend zone avoidance technique, and go straight for the metaphorical jugular. Wish me luck guys.
Just referring back to Sharz, online dating really is a bit shit. Expanding your social circles will always be the one.
|
|
cubby
Junior Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 4,666
Member is Online
|
Post by cubby on Sept 25, 2021 22:18:08 GMT
I shall be going for my trusted, friend zone avoidance technique, and go straight for the metaphorical jugular. Ah the Shocker!
|
|
|
Post by LegendaryApe on Sept 26, 2021 11:11:45 GMT
Keep us updated Trafford!
|
|
|
Post by trafford on Sept 26, 2021 15:38:05 GMT
All good, coffee and a walk went well. 2nd date pencilled in.
|
|
|
Post by Triarii on Sept 29, 2021 10:45:53 GMT
What are the chances it's just some dude trolling?
|
|