MolarAm🔵
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Post by MolarAm🔵 on Jan 26, 2022 11:18:34 GMT
BY POPULAR DEMAND (ok one guy), and inspired by the new alternative ending to Fight Club, helpfully highlighted by god emperor gremmi in the film thread... here is a fun thing for us to do So, what you do is take an ending from a filthy capitalist propaganda film like Fight Club, and change it into the ending of a wholesome, nationalistic communist propaganda film from the CCP. Here is an example that I prepared earlier "With the help of the Dean of Students, the disobedient delinquent Ferris is apprehended by the proper authorities for inappropriate sexual conduct, illegal public demonstrations, and not taking his education seriously. Cameron's father is angry about losing his car, but soon realises that it was symbolic of his capitalistic decadence. Nonetheless, as a father he must properly discipline his son, which Cameron gratefully receives."
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Post by MysteryLamb on Jan 26, 2022 11:21:55 GMT
Is there a Winnie the Pooh movie?
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Post by Danno on Jan 26, 2022 11:22:46 GMT
Good creative writing exercise idea.
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Post by Danno on Jan 26, 2022 11:24:02 GMT
Is there a Winnie the Pooh movie? There is, and it's trippy AF:
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Post by Nanocrystal on Jan 26, 2022 11:30:54 GMT
John McClane was subsequently arrested on 18 counts of destruction of corporate property. Hans Gruber survived his fall and was offered a lucrative role as Activision Blizzard's new CEO.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2022 11:34:17 GMT
Danno Best scene ever. I still sing that song to my son now. When I'm chasing him around the house.
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Post by Dougs on Jan 26, 2022 11:48:57 GMT
And Lo, the Rebellion was crushed. The upstart Skywalker was imprisoned for life and his sister sent to a reeducation facility in Xinjiang province. Darth Vader was promoted to Supreme Leader, further illustrating the need for strong and devoted leadership.
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Post by rawshark on Jan 26, 2022 12:08:32 GMT
And so Chinese Detective Jackie Chan single handedly chased the British out of China with help from only the strength of the Chinese flag. As a reward he enjoyed a well-earned holiday in beautiful Hong Kong, which is definitely part of China. The uptight man he sat next to on the plane was never seen again.
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Post by monkman5000 on Jan 26, 2022 12:12:16 GMT
Dorothy clicks her heels three times and makes it back to Kunming.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jan 26, 2022 12:16:54 GMT
Using our great facial recognition technology the police were able to identify the meddlesome and opportunistic agitator Batman as Bruce Wayne. The government swiftly took to action fearing for the safety of its citizens and froze his business pursuits as well as revealing he was working with foreign aggressors to disrupt the fruitful and loving relationship between the Party and the dutiful and courageous people of this great country. Now his threat to the security of this great nation has been quelled we can all rejoice.
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MolarAm🔵
Full Member
Bad at games
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Post by MolarAm🔵 on Jan 26, 2022 12:21:14 GMT
After much searching, Dr. Jones discovers the location of the Ark of the Covenant. "No time to lose!", he thinks to himself, as he selflessly performs his civic duty, immediately informing government authorities of his findings.
He is offered a high-level bureaucratic position for his efforts. But he declines, because the chance to serve the greater good is all the reward he needs.
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geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
Posts: 8,323
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Post by geefe on Jan 26, 2022 12:27:26 GMT
The mad scientist Doc Brown ultimately discovered that time travel is not actually possible but that did not matter, as everything is as it should be and there is no reason for anyone to wish to change any events that have ever happened.
Marty McFly was sanctioned for disobeying school and performing the aggressive ideology of Huey Lewis to his teachers.
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jono62
Junior Member
Posts: 4,963
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Post by jono62 on Jan 26, 2022 12:44:55 GMT
Jaws - There is no shark and everyone played on the beach happily and non cheesily.
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hedben
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Formerly: hedben2013
Posts: 1,985
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Post by hedben on Jan 26, 2022 13:23:44 GMT
Princess Jasmine realises that she should respect her father and the age-old traditions that accompany her role as the daughter of the head of state. She leaves the commoner Aladdin, finds a proper suitor from a powerful family, and their union ushers in a new era of peace and prosperity.
Following a brief existential crisis in which many alternate universes are destroyed due to his frivolity, Genie realises that there is comfort in servitude, and gets himself a new lamp.
Edit - now realising I may have misunderstood the brief, this is more of a straight downer ending than communism > capitalism
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Post by rawshark on Jan 26, 2022 13:32:32 GMT
Wimbledon
Absolutely nothing happens of note.
(Actually that's fairly accurate).
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lexw
New Member
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Post by lexw on Jan 26, 2022 13:36:30 GMT
I feel like there's a bit of a difference between reversing the ending and changing it so the Chinese censors would like it which might be being lost a bit, but what do I know?
Btw "Pro-China Jaws" actually exists and is awful - The Meg.
Blade Runner - "Deckard and Rachael willingly went to the police, where Rachael was found to be a replicant and willingly submitted to deportation to the colonies for the greater good. Deckard, no longer concerned he might be a replicant, and realizing the origami unicorns merely represented Gaff's recognition of his profound patriotism*, continued on with his brave task of hunting down the inhuman enemies of the state."
The Usual Suspects - "Keyser Soze believed he had successfully deceived the police, but thanks to cooperation between different departments and authorities, he and Kobayashi were stopped less than two miles from the station and taken into custody. Both were sentenced to hard labour for life."
* = Alternate anti-Japanese take "realizing the origami unicorns were merely the decadent Gaff's attempts to distract and confuse him" but as Gaff is an authority figure we probably don't do that.
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hedben
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Formerly: hedben2013
Posts: 1,985
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Post by hedben on Jan 26, 2022 13:42:20 GMT
The Wolf Of Wall Street - no postscript required, just cut everything that happens after the Black Monday stockmarket crash, and pick up again when the FBI arrests the main character and makes him wear a wire to reduce his sentence.
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Post by Leolian'sBro on Jan 26, 2022 13:43:38 GMT
Pacific Rim: Crimson Typhoon rises from the sea, gives an inspiring speech about the wisdom of party officials and the stability of Evergrande, crushes all Kaiju, and then leads China through the rift to conquer the universe beyond.
Pacific Rim II: no changes required.
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jan 26, 2022 14:52:05 GMT
Transformers: instead of standing by and letting giant capitalist robots advertise poorly-made American goods, our beloved Mao-bot descends from the moon and destroys America with the awesome might of LOYALTY ROCKETS.
The Americans repent their ways and pledge loyalty to the everlasting glory of the Communist Party.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jan 26, 2022 15:00:31 GMT
The Manchurian Candidate:
There is no conspiracy, foreign meddlers would be wise not to spread malicious and scandalous lies lest they feel the consequences of their actions. This is merely sabre rattling of a defeated and pathetic country.
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Post by rawshark on Jan 26, 2022 17:01:35 GMT
...and on closer inspection, Mulan discovered she was a man after all.
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anephric
Junior Member
The first 6 I took out with a whirlwind kick
Posts: 1,511
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Post by anephric on Jan 26, 2022 22:26:17 GMT
Jaws - There is no shark and everyone played on the beach happily and non cheesily. Or if it's The Meg, a prehistoric megalodon shark swims up to a Chinese beach but isn't capable of actually hurting anybody, and just causes a bit of a fuss. Which is what actually happens. Edit: ahhh, beaten to it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2022 22:56:45 GMT
Philadelphia
Tom Hanks still dies of aids.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jan 26, 2022 23:00:16 GMT
THE ACTOR
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jono62
Junior Member
Posts: 4,963
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Post by jono62 on Jan 26, 2022 23:02:27 GMT
Brokeback Mountain - They are just friends, nothing more.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 26, 2022 23:03:20 GMT
Brokeback Mountain - They are just friends, nothing more. They are siblings. From Burnley.
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Post by RadicalRex on Jan 26, 2022 23:26:58 GMT
After the defeat of the terrorists, Earth was finally reunited with the Borg. The people of Earth celebrated the liberation from their oppression and a prosperous future awaited their children. Haunted by many dark years of separatist propaganda, the people of Earth begged for extensive education and repatriation programmes, which the Borg magnanimously provided.
The Borg continued their peaceful rise and despite idological differences, became known as a paragon of peace, development and cooperation among the powers of the galaxy.
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Post by khanivor on Jan 26, 2022 23:32:56 GMT
After the heroic death of Ripley, who gave her life defeating the sneaky, murderous prison reformist, Fiorina 161 was able to quickly restock itself full of individuals eager to be cleansed of their fantastic notions of the ‘god’ allah. They toiled once more in joy and comrardarie providing materials designed to weaken the capitalist planets by making them dependent on products that could only be manufactured efficiently on the people’s planet of Fury
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Post by rawshark on Jan 27, 2022 11:01:59 GMT
Having been shown the error of his ways and the self-destructive promises of capitalism, George Bailey was saved by the state and the collective support of his comrades. Looking to the skies, he said "Way to go Xi Jingpin!"
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Post by alcachofa on Jan 28, 2022 9:45:05 GMT
Philadelphia Tom Hanks still dies of aids. But then the whole city gets locked down until every citizen is tested.
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