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Post by Danno on Oct 30, 2022 3:11:38 GMT
Come on raw, invite yourself you prick. Just snog the girls where the wife can't see eh?
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Post by GigaChad Sigma. on Oct 30, 2022 7:28:16 GMT
You could have wrapped yourself in bandages like a mummy to go unrecognised. Before revealing yourself.
Your face.
Not your junk.
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Post by rawshark on Oct 30, 2022 10:05:37 GMT
There would have been something to be said about rolling up in my Bojack Horseman cosplay from comic com ‘19
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Post by drhickman1983 on Oct 30, 2022 10:08:45 GMT
Say there's a danger that you'll get a bit stabby and the police will soon come. Then you get treated to a nice quiet cell.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Oct 30, 2022 10:11:48 GMT
Put on some overalls and a hockey mask and you can get away with a few slayings before people realise it's not a Halloween prank. Makes it so much easier than the rest of the year
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mrpon
Junior Member
Posts: 3,737
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Post by mrpon on Oct 30, 2022 10:21:45 GMT
Any mothers to piss on?
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EMarkM
Junior Member
Well, quite...
Posts: 2,150 
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Post by EMarkM on Oct 30, 2022 19:09:37 GMT
Just snog the girls where the wife can't see eh? Like, their bumholes, you mean? |
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Post by Danno on Oct 30, 2022 19:20:02 GMT
Just snog the girls where the wife can't see eh? Like, their bumholes, you mean? That's the spirit |
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Post by darkling on Dec 9, 2022 10:16:01 GMT
Since moving into my end terrace 2 and a half years ago, I've had to put up with the neighbour's son's FIFA-related shouting, squealing, and swearing through my wall on a daily basis for around 8 to 10 hours straight (no exaggeration) and I've had enough.
With his bedroom directly next to my home office, it's not only affecting my work, but also my mental health, as I've recently noticed how 'on edge' I feel all the time.
This isn't to mention his parents making no effort to keep their own voices down, as they shout to each other upstairs to downstairs at all hours, and the dad is partial to singing football songs at the top of his voice.
I've broached the subject of their son's noise with the mother, only for her to dismiss it as something beyond her control because he "plays with headphones on". I even suggesting his noise must be worse in their house, to which she agreed, but offered no further resolution. Since raising these complaints, they've fallen out with me, which I think says everything about their childish mindset as a family.
I think I'm going to have to build a case against them, so I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good microphone that's relatively inexpensive, so I can record this excessive noise coming through my wall as evidence.
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Bongo Heracles
Junior Member
Technically illegal to ride on public land
Posts: 4,633
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Dec 9, 2022 10:32:35 GMT
Get a wifi blocker and turn it on every time he raises his voice. Pavlovian conditioning will do the rest.
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Post by darkling on Dec 9, 2022 12:32:27 GMT
Ooh I like it! That'd really piss their son off, and it'd be impossible to prove.
I was also considering making a "best of" loop of their shouting, then playing it back to them through the wall, when I'm not in the house.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2022 12:40:39 GMT
You'll just get all the drilling when they install the cabling.
Music. To equal volume, whenever they make noise, and sometimes when they don't. The son won't care but the parents will. As an end terrace, no other neighbours to offend either. You'll be amazed how gradually quieter they get after a brief period where they keep going just to show 'doesn't bother me', then actually do stfu a bit. The Cramps would be a good starting point.
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Post by dfunked on Dec 9, 2022 12:53:13 GMT
Yeah, extremely loud music with speakers right next to the wall. If they say anything just shrug and say "I had headphones on"
Not that I'd want to risk pissing off neighbours mind you. Easy for me to say, but you've still got to live next to them...
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askew
Full Member
Posts: 6,804
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Post by askew on Dec 9, 2022 13:00:07 GMT
Get a wifi blocker and turn it on every time he raises his voice. Pavlovian conditioning will do the rest.
"MUM, DAD, THE INTERNET'S NOT FUCKING WORKING!"
"MUUUUUUUUUUUUM"
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,400
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Post by Vortex on Dec 9, 2022 13:09:38 GMT
 Heard that so many times. Only it's 'Daaaaaddd! the wifi's gone off!!!' |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2022 13:21:15 GMT
How many times have you told him about Dail up Internet days when he's complained about the WiFi?
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Post by JuniorFE on Dec 9, 2022 13:23:37 GMT
"Back in my day, you couldn't make a phone call and download a video at the same time!"
"Okay grandpa, let's get you to bed"
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Vortex
Full Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 5,400
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Post by Vortex on Dec 9, 2022 13:31:38 GMT
How many times have you told him about Dail up Internet days when he's complained about the WiFi? My favourite one was driving home and I get a call from him (via hands-free bluetooth car stuff i might add, officer). He's girning about the mesh wifi cut off stopping him playing rainbow six siege and he wouldn't get his whatever the fuck they call xp on that battlepass for quitting, but if he can rejoin the match he'd get it. a) The mesh wifi cuts you off at certain times due to you not being able to leave it when you have to eat, which is why that is in place. b) you knew the time and roughly how long a game is before you started c) I'm in the car and not on the network so I can't do anything. Cue pleading for ages. 'I literally can't do anything until i am home and on the wifi network so stop whining'. /facepalm |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2022 17:09:31 GMT
"Back in my day, you couldn't make a phone call and download a video at the same time!" "Okay grandpa, let's get you to bed" Junior, we all know you’re too young for dial-up. |
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lew
New Member
Posts: 133
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Post by lew on Dec 13, 2022 9:49:19 GMT
Since moving into my end terrace 2 and a half years ago, I've had to put up with the neighbour's son's FIFA-related shouting, squealing, and swearing through my wall on a daily basis for around 8 to 10 hours straight (no exaggeration) and I've had enough. With his bedroom directly next to my home office, it's not only affecting my work, but also my mental health, as I've recently noticed how 'on edge' I feel all the time. This isn't to mention his parents making no effort to keep their own voices down, as they shout to each other upstairs to downstairs at all hours, and the dad is partial to singing football songs at the top of his voice. I've broached the subject of their son's noise with the mother, only for her to dismiss it as something beyond her control because he "plays with headphones on". I even suggesting his noise must be worse in their house, to which she agreed, but offered no further resolution. Since raising these complaints, they've fallen out with me, which I think says everything about their childish mindset as a family. I think I'm going to have to build a case against them, so I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good microphone that's relatively inexpensive, so I can record this excessive noise coming through my wall as evidence. Having made a noise complaint this year, you won't need audio / visual evidence, the council will ask you to document each time it occurs, the time frame, how it impacted upon you etc. I was at the end of my teather with a neighbours dog and the cunt of an owner so ended up filing a complaint, had about 3 months worth of evidence beforehand. Might have been a coincidence but I've barely heard the dog or the people from the house since. |
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X201
Full Member
Posts: 5,112
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Post by X201 on Dec 21, 2022 9:27:30 GMT
After all the parcels and deliveries I’ve received for neighbours, it’s Sod’s Law that the day that I need someone to take delivery of my parcel, there’s not a single bugger that will be in during the specific two hour window.
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mikeck
Junior Member
Posts: 1,930
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Post by mikeck on Dec 21, 2022 9:55:07 GMT
After all the parcels and deliveries I’ve received for neighbours, it’s Sod’s Law that the day that I need someone to take delivery of my parcel, there’s not a single bugger that will be in during the specific two hour window. This happens to me all the time too! To the point I keep threatening to stop taking their fucking deliveries (but never do, as I'm not that much of an arsehole). |
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robthehermit
Junior Member
Subjectively amusing
Posts: 2,462
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Post by robthehermit on Dec 21, 2022 11:37:00 GMT
My neighbour popped round to collect a parcel the other day. It was late, cold and I was in the middle of watching a film. So as I handed it over I jokingly said "You're a pain aren't you."
3 minutes later her husband is banging on my door effing and blinding about how rude I've been to them for the last few months and this is the final straw and if I talk to his wife like that again "things will happen". On the plus side he also informed me that no more parcels will be delivered to us if they're out, so I'm taking that as a win.
Not sure where he gets the idea that I've been rude to them for several months. I haven't seen or spoken to either of them for about a year, and I couldn't be bothered to argue the toss with him so I just said "Whatever" and shut the door in his face.
I wonder what "things" he has mind?
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dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,517
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Post by dmukgr on Dec 21, 2022 11:40:33 GMT
Keys in ash trays
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nexus6
Junior Member
Posts: 2,527
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Post by nexus6 on Dec 21, 2022 12:13:35 GMT
A small token gift acknowledging your kindness in taking in deliveries for them?
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dmukgr
Junior Member
Posts: 1,517
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Post by dmukgr on Dec 21, 2022 12:24:44 GMT
If anyone asks me if they can have something delivered to me whilst they are out I say sure and funnily enough I wouldn't mind if they could do the same for me sometime.
I then order a load of horse manure.
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Post by dfunked on Dec 21, 2022 12:42:50 GMT
Shutting the door in his face is the kind of move I'd do. I've somehow resisted doing it to our know-it-all neighbour for the past couple of years.
The fucker reminds me of the "Only me!" guy from Harry Enfield and chums.
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,376
Member is Online
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Post by Blue_Mike on May 13, 2023 8:57:18 GMT
The cunt next door but one is washing his car with the radio on the thing blasting Heart FM at about a thousand decibels, which has woken me up during my first lie in for ages.
I'm buying a carton of eggs later.
These things may not be a coincidence.
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Post by LegendaryApe on May 13, 2023 9:12:41 GMT
Since moving into my end terrace 2 and a half years ago, I've had to put up with the neighbour's son's FIFA-related shouting, squealing, and swearing through my wall on a daily basis for around 8 to 10 hours straight (no exaggeration) and I've had enough. With his bedroom directly next to my home office, it's not only affecting my work, but also my mental health, as I've recently noticed how 'on edge' I feel all the time. This isn't to mention his parents making no effort to keep their own voices down, as they shout to each other upstairs to downstairs at all hours, and the dad is partial to singing football songs at the top of his voice. I've broached the subject of their son's noise with the mother, only for her to dismiss it as something beyond her control because he "plays with headphones on". I even suggesting his noise must be worse in their house, to which she agreed, but offered no further resolution. Since raising these complaints, they've fallen out with me, which I think says everything about their childish mindset as a family. I think I'm going to have to build a case against them, so I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good microphone that's relatively inexpensive, so I can record this excessive noise coming through my wall as evidence. How did this work out. I need closure! |
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X201
Full Member
Posts: 5,112
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Post by X201 on May 22, 2023 21:58:08 GMT
What are the chances of a bass speaker exploding and maiming the owner with a cloud of shrapnel?
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