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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 24, 2023 21:41:33 GMT
Don't be silly
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 24, 2023 21:45:06 GMT
We're all wankers here
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wunty
Full Member
Pastry Forward
Posts: 6,673
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Post by wunty on Jul 24, 2023 21:49:51 GMT
Hmmmm being known as the forum wanker isn't a great look You’ve always been my wanker |
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,397
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Post by cubby on Jul 24, 2023 21:51:15 GMT
This place is so wholesome.
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Ulythium
Full Member
Lily-livered
Posts: 7,133
Member is Online
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Post by Ulythium on Jul 24, 2023 22:32:11 GMT
Hmmmm being known as the forum wanker isn't a great look
If it makes you feel any better, I think of you as the forum's Dirk Diggler.
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Lizard
Junior Member
I love ploughmans
Posts: 4,492
Member is Online
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Post by Lizard on Jul 24, 2023 23:34:36 GMT
Thanks for the advice. Had a chat, a long chat. We realised that even though we go out as a family a lot, we never go out as a couple anymore and it's not the same thing. So we've got a babysitter arranged for tomorrow night and going on a date. I'm genuinely nervous lol, it's been /that/ long. Well done, you took the sensible route (I half expected you to create an ai construct of her friend/sister and start probing her for info on a video call like a paranoid nutcase.) My advice about being rusty? Have a little me time beforehand (ie have a dirty great big wank). Also, have your phone on hand to give us live updates. For the sexing, not the wanking. Why wouldn't we want live updates on the wanking? I want them. |
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dogbot
Full Member
Posts: 8,738
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Post by dogbot on Jul 25, 2023 10:00:43 GMT
Apart from it putting most people off their stroke, I guess?
But then, he *is* Legendary!
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Blue_Mike
Full Member
Meet Hanako At Embers
Posts: 5,402
Member is Online
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Post by Blue_Mike on Jul 25, 2023 10:36:53 GMT
Something about "beats per minute"?
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 27, 2023 17:50:41 GMT
Thanks for the advice. Had a chat, a long chat. We realised that even though we go out as a family a lot, we never go out as a couple anymore and it's not the same thing. So we've got a babysitter arranged for tomorrow night and going on a date. I'm genuinely nervous lol, it's been /that/ long. How did this go user Razz? Did you give her the ol' Razzle dazzle? |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 18:11:20 GMT
Pineapple is a twisted fruit. It's delicious but destroys your mouth
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jul 30, 2023 18:32:50 GMT
Absolutely delicious when fresh and slightly cooled, good on a pizza sometimes, quite good in a curry depending on the curry, nice dried in a granola and if you stick the pineapple crown on your head you can do a dubious impression of Sideshow Bob. Does destroy your mouth though.
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sport✅
Junior Member
notice me senpai
I want to claim my tits
Posts: 2,322
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Post by sport✅ on Jul 30, 2023 19:00:32 GMT
And it makes semen taste great.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 19:24:51 GMT
Are you flirting with me, sport
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 30, 2023 19:26:27 GMT
Pineapple is a twisted fruit. It's delicious but destroys your mouth Wait, you know you're supposed to only eat the inside part right? You're not just biting into them like an apple? |
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,397
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Post by cubby on Jul 30, 2023 19:47:03 GMT
Don't be so facetious ape, he'll be eating tinned pineapple. Everyone knows those have sharp edges.
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KD
Junior Member
RIP EG
Posts: 1,333
Member is Online
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Post by KD on Jul 30, 2023 19:47:34 GMT
Pineapple tries to eat your mouth, an enzyme in it does anyway.
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 21:12:58 GMT
Pineapple is a twisted fruit. It's delicious but destroys your mouth Wait, you know you're supposed to only eat the inside part right? You're not just biting into them like an apple? Like an onion. Apples get all the credit for the "bite in and see what happens" approach and I have had enough. |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 21:40:41 GMT
Pineapple tries to eat your mouth, an enzyme in it does anyway. Literally this. It strips your mouth and then attacks it. Apparently soaking the pineapple in salt water first helps but, uhh, salty pineapple |
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razz
New Member
PSN Razztafarai
Posts: 864
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Post by razz on Jul 30, 2023 22:38:01 GMT
Thanks for the advice. Had a chat, a long chat. We realised that even though we go out as a family a lot, we never go out as a couple anymore and it's not the same thing. So we've got a babysitter arranged for tomorrow night and going on a date. I'm genuinely nervous lol, it's been /that/ long. How did this go user Razz? Did you give her the ol' Razzle dazzle? Nothing too exciting honestly, we had a good time reconnecting. Been a long while since I've seen my wife genuinely relax and have a good time. She said the same about me, so we will be doing it more often. Going to a day festival next, can't wait. No dazzle, baby was screaming when we got home so er... kind of ruined the mood 😅 |
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 22:39:34 GMT
Pineapple tries to eat your mouth, an enzyme in it does anyway. Literally this. It strips your mouth and then attacks it. Apparently soaking the pineapple in salt water first helps but, uhh, salty pineapple You say that but it's really tasty (don't soak it for long) |
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Post by rawshark on Jul 30, 2023 22:46:14 GMT
Where can ageing men go to be sad and alone now? Was in the pub and it felt like I’d gatecrashed a kid’s birthday party.
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 22:57:47 GMT
I'm worried I'll be sacked tomorrow for too much sick time
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 22:58:29 GMT
Where can ageing men go to be sad and alone now? Was in the pub and it felt like I’d gatecrashed a kid’s birthday party. Warhammer/Magic/DnD nights |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 22:59:12 GMT
Where can ageing men go to be sad and alone now? Was in the pub and it felt like I’d gatecrashed a kid’s birthday party. Wolverhampton |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 23:06:05 GMT
I'm worried I'll be sacked tomorrow for too much sick time Have you been sick? |
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 23:13:04 GMT
Yes.
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 23:15:39 GMT
Are you feeling better?
Coincidentally I'm presently on sick watch
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Post by Danno on Jul 30, 2023 23:29:03 GMT
Are you feeling better? Coincidentally I'm presently on sick watch No. But need to work. You ok? |
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Post by Aunt Alison on Jul 30, 2023 23:32:44 GMT
I don't think so. I can tell it's coming. I've got a receptacle
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Post by LegendaryApe on Jul 31, 2023 5:43:54 GMT
How did this go user Razz? Did you give her the ol' Razzle dazzle? Nothing too exciting honestly, we had a good time reconnecting. Been a long while since I've seen my wife genuinely relax and have a good time. She said the same about me, so we will be doing it more often. Going to a day festival next, can't wait. No dazzle, baby was screaming when we got home so er... kind of ruined the mood 😅 That's a pity. But at least you both had a good time. Don't delay in scheduling another date. The momentum can be quickly lost despite the best intentions |
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