geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
Posts: 8,323
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Post by geefe on Oct 10, 2023 20:22:38 GMT
Tbf a man attempting to kidnap and kill a national celebrity is big news. It's also fucking awful as well.
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Post by Reviewer on Oct 10, 2023 20:38:18 GMT
That’s not the story though, that was a different one days ago. The story is a celebrity isn’t going to present a TV programme.
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geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
Posts: 8,323
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Post by geefe on Oct 10, 2023 20:46:50 GMT
I mean... I'd suspect the two are related.
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Bongo Heracles
Junior Member
Technically illegal to ride on public land
Posts: 4,657
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Oct 10, 2023 20:50:55 GMT
The tragi-comic thing about the kidnapping plot was that the guy they arrested is so fat, he’s pretty much a medical shut in. The mind boggles about what his plan was. Ask her nicely to get into his van?
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Post by Dougs on Oct 10, 2023 20:53:50 GMT
One might suggest he's not quite thinking straight and needs some help. Not that it's an excuse, of course.
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Post by elstoof on Oct 10, 2023 20:55:05 GMT
Wasn’t he arrested for arranging for someone else to do the deed?
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Post by Aunt Alison on Oct 10, 2023 20:55:14 GMT
Wasn't there another party involved that he planned it with?
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Post by Whizzo on Oct 10, 2023 21:01:35 GMT
The tragi-comic thing about the kidnapping plot was that the guy they arrested is so fat, he’s pretty much a medical shut in. The mind boggles about what his plan was. Ask her nicely to get into his van? Was she in disguise as a bounty hunter? It's happened before.
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Bongo Heracles
Junior Member
Technically illegal to ride on public land
Posts: 4,657
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Post by Bongo Heracles on Oct 10, 2023 21:08:38 GMT
Heh, he tried to hire a hitman. What a freak.
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 21:18:51 GMT
I have a story about contract killing for hire which involved my PC being seized by CID...
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Post by Dougs on Oct 10, 2023 21:23:37 GMT
Go on...
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 21:25:02 GMT
are you sure you wouldn't prefer I keep an aura of mystery?
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cubby
Full Member
doesn't get subtext
Posts: 6,397
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Post by cubby on Oct 10, 2023 21:25:04 GMT
Are the internet speeds OK in Wandsworth then?
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geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
Posts: 8,323
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Post by geefe on Oct 10, 2023 21:25:23 GMT
Ha. Fuck no.
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Post by Dougs on Oct 10, 2023 21:27:33 GMT
Are the internet speeds OK in Wandsworth then? Even the screws wouldn't think to look in this corner of the internet. |
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 21:30:29 GMT
ok.. it's not quite as exciting as i may have implied but in the olden days - I'm trying to remember when - somewhere between 1999 and 2002 - a friend of mine who was, and is, a great friend but a bit of a shitty husband was going through a very messy divorce. his ex, or soon to be ex, can't remember, talking to one of her friends in a pub said something to the effect of "I wish that fucker was dead" and it turns out it was the sort of pub where someone leant over and said something to the effect of "know someone who can sort that for you" and ex, rather than saying "ahh don't be daft, figure of speech innit", said "tell me more".
edit: part 2 after I feed the cat, who's telling me his need is more urgent
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 21:41:11 GMT
part deux
would be assassins, rather than killing my friend for the agreed price, called him and said "yer missus has offered us X to kill you, pay us Y and we'll call it off" - now I can't recall how much X and Y were but I do remember how shockingly low it was - pretty certain it was under £10k. price of a life not all that much. anyway, friend goes straight to the rozzers who arrange for a sting operation to catch the hitmen during a cash handover. for one afternoon every other beggar/passenger at leicester train station was an undercover policeman constable person.
they catch everyone and round up his missus later for good measure too.
and at this stage one of the would be killers came up with some sort of plea bargain story...
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 21:53:29 GMT
3 so killer for hire's get out of jail free card story was that he was actually a junior crim in my friend's (the victim) criminal enterprise that involved printing visa cards - yes, printing them out. like I say this was 2000ish - technical literacy was maybe a bit low.
my friend through all this was sleeping on my couch (course he was, good friend, bad husband) and the police were duty bound to investigate allegations of a ... visa card printing... criminal endeavor. So they turned up at my house. When I was out. And smashed the door in. And seized my computer and my dot matrix printer because sure that's what you print visa cards on.
Not sure how up to speed police computer forensics were at the turn of the millenium - and to be fair I was but a youngling and my computer forensics skills were also lacking - but when I eventually got the computer back I couldn't find any evidence they'd even accessed the file system and the case inside was still full of dust and untouched. Anyway obviously they dismissed any hint of my friend being a credit card fraudster and I got the PC back after.... want to say a couple of months? not overly long, long enough to be a bit of a pain in the arse. had to collect it from crewe for some reason.
the baddies got jail time but not as much as you'd think... can't remember exactly but was under five years. his missus got a suspended sentence, i think two years.
fin
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geefe
Full Member
Short for Zangief
Posts: 8,323
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Post by geefe on Oct 10, 2023 21:54:22 GMT
The addition of the mighty Leicester to this story instantly makes it the best
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Post by Reviewer on Oct 10, 2023 21:55:43 GMT
I mean... I'd suspect the two are related. Obviously but still, that part of all this was days ago. |
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Post by Whizzo on Oct 10, 2023 21:59:59 GMT
Shame it didn't involve a tall bald hitman with a barcode on the back of his head but it was quite the anecdote.
Now can you set me up with some dodgy Visa cards?
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Post by Danno on Oct 10, 2023 22:02:15 GMT
Your fuckin' cats, man Lost my shit a bit at the dot matrix printer  |
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Post by Whizzo on Oct 10, 2023 22:03:39 GMT
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minimatt
Junior Member
hyper mediocrity
Posts: 1,693
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Post by minimatt on Oct 10, 2023 22:04:40 GMT
The addition of the mighty Leicester to this story instantly makes it the best we were both doing IT for leicester city council at the time - as claims to fame go, that I installed keith vaz's mum's email system doesn't get me as many free drinks as you'd think |
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gray
New Member
Posts: 438
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Post by gray on Oct 10, 2023 22:57:41 GMT
Seems that due to a throwback to a paragraph in a document in the 80s, the government will no longer consider fractional shares as part of your tax free ISA allowance and will now be subject to capital gains.
This country is going backwards in real time. It’s almost impressive at this point.
Failed society.
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Post by simple on Oct 10, 2023 23:09:56 GMT
So was the scam to basically start a fictional bidding war between friend and “ex” to extort as much money as they could from him to spend on leather jackets and pink and black spandex ?
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Post by Bill in the rain on Oct 11, 2023 2:38:33 GMT
I like that we are splitting stories over multiple posts now. It makes the place feel more homely, like Twitter.
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Post by Dougs on Oct 11, 2023 5:36:18 GMT
I don't think this will land as well as they think. Esp given the expenses scandal.
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Post by Chopsen on Oct 11, 2023 5:52:46 GMT
"we need tax breaks for fee paying schools because state schools aren't good enough" is the most arsebackwards logic I've seen in a while.
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Post by elstoof on Oct 11, 2023 6:10:48 GMT
I installed keith vaz's mum's email system So you were printing the fake documents over at Keith Vaz’s place then |
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