UK Politics Thread

I think even Elon has called him the worst person in the world. He's a noted wife beater and a sex case. Its like getting Jimmy Savile on to voice his opinions on child tax credits.

This country continues to be at the mercy of mercenary halfwits.

You'd think... that having a father like that might have taught him a thing or two...

But no. ODB was a better father to his kids.

I mean, this is a natural consequence of having basically no guardrails against a billionaire losing his mind/going mask off, I'm just surprised it took this long to happen. There was always this tacit understanding that we would overlook all the heinous shit they do as long as they larped as philanthropists in public but, same with every other 'norm' Trump and Johnson disregarded, it turns out there is basically nothing anyone can do if a billionaire turns evil.

He's bought the media, he's bought air time, he's bought politicians, he's bought social media and now he can say and do whatever the fuck he wants and what are you going to do about it?

ChatGPT is on that


Title: Future Imperfect (it originally suggested SkynetFall)

Scene: The Confrontation in the Orbital Lair


---

Setting:
A massive, state-of-the-art orbital space station hovers above Earth. Its sleek design reflects Elon Musk’s vision—shiny, angular, and intimidating. Inside, the control room is filled with holographic displays, AI drones, and sleek metallic surfaces. Earth looms large outside a massive window. Elon Musk, playing the villain Zion Helix, stands at the center of the room, calmly typing commands into an interactive hologram. His presence is magnetizing, yet cold. James Bond enters, suited and armed, but visibly wary of the environment.


---

Bond:
“You know, Mr. Helix, there’s a fine line between genius and madness. You’ve crossed it so many times, I’ve lost count.”

Zion Helix (Elon Musk):
(Without turning around) “Ah, 007. Punctual, as expected. Did you enjoy the private rocket ride? I made it carbon-neutral for you. I hope you’re impressed.”

Bond:
“Oh, I’m impressed. A private space station, an army of killer drones, and a plan to ‘upgrade’ humanity by turning us all into your obedient AIs? A classic megalomaniac move.”

Zion Helix:
(Smirking, turning to face Bond) “Megalomaniac? No, Mr. Bond. Visionary. Humanity is at a tipping point. Climate collapse, overpopulation, resource wars... The solution isn’t on Earth anymore. It’s here. In me.”

(Pauses, spreading arms to showcase the room)
“I’m offering immortality, perfection. A neural interface to eliminate crime, disease, and stupidity. But no one ever appreciates a savior until it’s too late.”

Bond:
(Stepping closer, gripping his Walther PPK) “And you’re the only one holding the key? Sounds less like salvation and more like tyranny. Your idea of progress is turning Earth into your sandbox.”

Zion Helix:
(Laughs softly) “And what’s your solution, Bond? Shoot me? Blow up my station? How… retro. You’re a relic, clinging to chaos and outdated ideologies. But I’ll humor you.”

(He gestures, and a pair of AI drones detach from the ceiling, weapons trained on Bond.)

"Let’s see if the world’s most celebrated secret agent can adapt. I’m curious—can humanity’s best truly outmatch the future?”

Bond:
(Calmly raises his hands, feigning surrender) “You know, Zion, I’ve always been impressed by men like you. Visionaries, inventors. But you all make one fatal mistake.”

Zion Helix:
(Smirking) “And what’s that, 007?”

Bond:
(Smirking back) “You assume your machines are smarter than me.”

(In one swift move, Bond activates a concealed EMP device disguised as his watch. The drones short-circuit and crash to the floor. Alarms blare as Zion’s holograms flicker and malfunction.)

Zion Helix:
(Angrily) “Impressive, Bond. But brute force is such a waste of potential.”

(He presses a button on his wrist, and a hidden panel in the floor opens, revealing a massive robot armed with cutting-edge weaponry. It towers over Bond, glowing with plasma energy.)

Zion Helix:
(Stepping back, arms crossed) “Let’s see you outsmart that.”

Bond:
(Calm under pressure, adjusting his cufflinks) “I’ve tangoed with sharks, leapt off planes, and wrestled Russians. A glorified toaster doesn’t scare me.”

(The robot charges, and Bond dodges with precision, firing strategically at weak points. Using his gadget-laden belt, he deploys a grappling hook to ensnare the robot’s legs, causing it to stumble. With a quick detonation of an explosive pen, the robot collapses in a fiery heap.)

Zion Helix:
(Gritting his teeth, retreating to a console) “You’re wasting time, Bond. Even if you stop me, the launch is already underway.”

(On the holographic display, countdown timers tick down. Rockets loaded with Zion’s neural control satellites are seconds away from deploying.)

Bond:
(Stalking toward Zion) “I never waste time.”

(He pulls a small, sleek dart gun from his pocket and fires. The dart hits Zion’s wrist, injecting a micro-pulse inhibitor that locks him out of his own systems.)

Zion Helix:
(Stumbling back, disoriented) “What… have you done?”

Bond:
(Smirking) “Let’s just say I’ve upgraded your software. The satellites won’t launch, and your AI toys are taking a nap.”

(Bond grabs Zion by the collar, pulling him close.)
“This is where you say something clever before I shut you down.”

Zion Helix:
(Chuckling weakly, defiant to the end) “You can stop me, Bond. But you can’t stop the future.”

Bond:
(Grins) “The future can wait.”

(With a swift punch, Bond knocks Zion out cold. The camera pans to Bond as he strides to an escape pod, the station erupting in explosions behind him.)


---

Closing Line:
As Bond watches the station disintegrate from the safety of Earth’s atmosphere, he sips a martini handed to him by Q in the recovery jet.

Bond:
“Shaken, not stirred. Unlike Mr. Helix’s ego.”

Cue theme music.

Hmmm. Needs more implied non consensual sex.

Isn’t that Tennant’s Cybermen? Not the drink, the actor.

Problem for the Guardian is that this sort of thing doesn’t really work as a gotcha moment because lots of people want the thing he’s been “caught” saying. Millions of them.

What a surprise that the anti-immigration fella has an Eastern European wife. Fancy.

So the takeaway message is he’s one of the good ones (Reform members) and she’s one of the good ones (foreigners) ?

That plus Reform is also here for British Asians and British black people!

Was listening to Starmers tour of quick local radio interviews. You'd think the country consisted entirely of millionaire farmers and desolate pensioners.

Clem, I feel that Reform has also appealed to racist Labour voters.

Although I'm sure there are some swings from Labour to Reform, I expect it is fairly low. There is a lot of talk of the fall of the red wall in 2019 (and it going back up this year), with the idea of the former Labour supporter who was socially conservative and loved Brexit. Really though, I suspect most of those voters were UKIP voters who voted Tory in 2019 when Farage stood lots of candidates down and now they are back to voting UKIP 2.0/BNP 3.0 with Reform.

It's very much a right-wing split.

I would say the biggest risk is losing young people to them, rather than current Labour voters.

I couldn't imagine a scenario where I hated Reform more, but if they start making me feel old too...