|
Post by drhcnip on Sept 20, 2021 14:01:45 GMT
fucking hell, mate - that's a shit ton at once...sorry to hear all that - look after yourself as well Thanks. I just rang my dad and found out his treatment has now been pushed back to October as my mum was rushed to hospital the day he was supposed to get his first lot. She's out now, but had a blood pressure reading of (I think she said) over 220, so was touch and go for a stroke. I'm just a bit numb with everything today. Quaddy I hope your sister's cancer has been caught early and they can treat it. gawd, this sounds so similar to some of my weeks in the past few years - one thing is possible to cope with, once it starts mounting up in different directions, it just knocks you for 6...i'm here via pm if you need a chat, pal
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Sept 20, 2021 14:03:09 GMT
Hey SpacVad I do wish you and your family a lot of strength for the next year. I genuinely hope that you are one of those people that miraculously recovers but still... The way you're handling this, at least, is exemplary. Lost a lot of my family members to cancer over the years. My uncle died two years ago and the family has never really gotten over it. We knew it was coming for years, there was some experimental treatment that caught on for a while, but then the cancer came back... And we knew he was suffering. It was during the incredibly dry summer a couple years ago, when Belgium was going through a 40 degrees celsius heat wave that he fainted and after that it suddenly went very quickly. So quickly that lots of my family didn't have the chance to say goodbye, which has caused some resentment. A lot of "you should've seen it sooner". A lot of "he should've been with us" even though all those decisions that were made around that time were the correct ones. My uncle was under the care of my aunt who was both the closest and had medical training, and everyone else was atleast two hours away (he died whilst the rest of the family was still on the way to him). At the funeral, which I don't really remember much of (I was sobbing a whole lot), we were rather surprised to see a large group of people who we had never seen before show up. Turns out it was everyone from the municipality of Mechelen who could get a day off. My uncle had worked for this municipality as the chief IT staffer for over a decade, and later we got a lot of in-memoriam articles from the city council of Mechelen about him. They praised his way of thinking and his mannerisms, as well as building a solid IT system from the ground up, and in typical flemish "Ludieke actie", they had commerated him by putting all their coffee cups on his desk: My uncle was really good at getting more coffee but very bad at bringing the coffee cups back, so having his desk stacked with coffee cups was like he was back there with them. There's also a lot of other stuff I never really realized: He had spent a lot of time during charity work in Azerbaijan and Liberia, and there was a lot of stuff that I remembered about him when going through his old stuff: An unique sense of humour amongst them. He was, in short, pretty cool, and a bit of an old-school 80s era nerd (somehow suspect he would've meshed well with a lot of people on here). The greatest tragedy of grief is remembering that you've once been happy, and this man made a lot of people happy. I grief that he is no longer with us, and I celebrate that he touched our lives in a positive way. A year ago I suddenly got overwhelmed with grief again, and I realized that was in part becuase my own depression was faded and the impact of death suddenly rushed back. After that I spend some more time trying to deal with it. A friend of mine reminded that griefing over a coming death (or your coming death) is in itself perfectly natural: Yes, it will come for all of us eventually, but it's totally okay to be sad that you're about to lose something that you enjoyed. Also quite interesting for me was the Radiolab podcast "The Queen of Dying": www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/queen-dyingand its companion piece: www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/episodes/rachael-cusick-grief-radiolab-death-sex-moneywhich dives into the history of where the five stages of grief come from, who coined the phrase and how she ultimately dealt with her own death. Might help with death anxiety, it did for me. that's a fantastic post in so many way - a lot of wisdom there, thanks pal
|
|
|
Post by convercide on Sept 28, 2021 22:59:37 GMT
I'll start by saying it's not cancer but I didn't know where else to put this. It's pretty safe to say that I'm losing my Mum tonight. She's suffered for years with osteoporosis, asthma and COPD. Sunday night she was faint and couldn't get up the stairs. Got her an ambulance and they gave her oxygen. They said her oxygen levels were low and needed to make sure she was OK so they took her to the hospital. Couldn't go with her as the Covid rules are still in place. Get the phone call today that she deteriorated really quickly and the next 24 hours are critical. Went with my sister to see her earlier today but we weren't allowed to stay long due to the rules in place. She didn't look good at all. She was so weak and I don't think she knew we were there. The doctor explicitly said that if she gets worse they will make sure she goes peacefully. If she does recover it'll be palliative care.
I've lived with her for the past 4 years as when my Dad passed he left her in a lot of debt (talking £40,000+) and she wouldn't have been able to survive on her PIP and pension. It worked out well as I was in a poor place mentally and have documented what happened in another thread. It's only literally this month we'd gotten on top of it all and she would have started seeing the better side of things.
Basically my Dad was a bit of a shit and didn't treat her well. She's been through so much and it hurts to see her like this at the end. She deserved a much better life than she had.
|
|
|
Post by Psychotext on Sept 28, 2021 23:23:02 GMT
Sorry convercide, life can be properly unfair. I found out this week that another of our friends has got cancer. I don't know if it's more common in women, but it seems that it certainly is amongst the people we know (10 women who have either died from it, or are currently being treated for it). I think I only know one man that's got it, and he was extremely old. Fuck cancer, and all degenerative diseases for that matter.
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Sept 29, 2021 6:02:15 GMT
Sorry to hear that convercide. Getting old sucks - not quite in the same place but my mum is 83 and starting to become challenging to look after. Perhaps we need another parent support thread - or maybe just use the other one, as they do regress quite a bit so may as well be children!
|
|
|
Post by baihu1983 on Sept 30, 2021 9:36:54 GMT
|
|
スコットランド
Junior Member
Delicious gruel
Posts: 3,934
|
Post by スコットランド on Sept 30, 2021 11:05:33 GMT
convercide Really sorry to read about your mum, I understand what you're going through, the unfairness of life where good people suffer so much is hard to take. I hope everything goes as well as it possibly can.
|
|
|
Post by convercide on Sept 30, 2021 16:59:41 GMT
Thanks guys. She's shown a little improvement but is still on equipment to help her breathe. I might be just being pessimistic but I think it's just delaying the inevitable. My sister was able to facetime with her earlier and said she was very weak. She's a real fighter but has a lot of underlying health conditions. Let's just say the next couple of weeks will be very tough. She's been told it's pneumonia that's triggered her low oxygen.
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Sept 30, 2021 19:00:17 GMT
Thanks guys. She's shown a little improvement but is still on equipment to help her breathe. I might be just being pessimistic but I think it's just delaying the inevitable. My sister was able to facetime with her earlier and said she was very weak. She's a real fighter but has a lot of underlying health conditions. Let's just say the next couple of weeks will be very tough. She's been told it's pneumonia that's triggered her low oxygen. ah, fuck, shite news - big love to you all, fella
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Sept 30, 2021 19:01:14 GMT
that's when it's really fucking unfair and horrible - we lost a girl at school aged 10 to cancer then another one a few years later at 8...
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Sept 30, 2021 19:03:54 GMT
Sorry convercide, life can be properly unfair. I found out this week that another of our friends has got cancer. I don't know if it's more common in women, but it seems that it certainly is amongst the people we know (10 women who have either died from it, or are currently being treated for it). I think I only know one man that's got it, and he was extremely old. Fuck cancer, and all degenerative diseases for that matter. fucking hell - it does seem that once you know one person, more start following like dominoes - by the time my wife was diagnosed, the 6 houses including ours at the end of our cul de sac had been directly affected by different cancers - before that time i barely knew of anyone who had been affected and now more people i know seem to be affected...i suppose age has its part to play...
|
|
|
Post by grizzly on Sept 30, 2021 19:11:50 GMT
Fuck. I've seen way to many young deaths in my life but not that young
|
|
|
Post by baihu1983 on Sept 30, 2021 19:20:00 GMT
Yep. Was doing alright last month then relapsed and was suddenly gone
|
|
|
Post by quadfather on Oct 1, 2021 16:09:08 GMT
Well, this is also relevant to the thread because it is FUCKING GOOD NEWS.
Sister has this morning been given the all clear and doesn't need any therapy after the mastectomy. She has to take mild chemo tablets for the next 5-10 years and they'll regularly do check ups, but I'd just like to say,
FUCK YOU CANCER = 0, SISTER = 1.
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Oct 1, 2021 16:19:09 GMT
fuck, yeah! great news, quaddy!
|
|
JonFE
Junior Member
Uncomfortably numb...
Posts: 1,329
|
Post by JonFE on Oct 1, 2021 16:48:26 GMT
Lovely news about your sister quadfather , let's hope she gives C the arse-beating it so clearly deserves!!! As for convercide bad news, try to stay strong mate and baihu1983 , that's no age to go, cancer or not
|
|
|
Post by spacein_vader on Oct 1, 2021 18:46:42 GMT
Well so much for that. Every time I go for chemo there's a very thorough examination first. Now I know why. They found a 3cm ish cyst on my back, I'd known it was there as I get them occasionally so mentioned it in passing.
Straight away the nurse called the consultant down. Apparently I'm very lucky it hadn't become infected already, but if they'd given me chemo as planned the likelihood it would be was over 90%, which would mean days in hospital and in the worst case sepsis which can be deadly.
Instead they called my GP, told him in no uncertain terms he needs to examine me and proscribe the relevant antibiotics today and then gave me a course of self administered injections (eek) to boost my immune system. I'll then be reassessed next Tuesday and if the cyst has gone down enough have chemo next Wednesday.
While frustrating it's served as a timely reminder of how fragile my body is and how thorough, caring and supportive the chemotherapy team are.
Fuck cancer for making my body so fucking fragile.
|
|
|
Post by mothercruncher on Oct 1, 2021 18:56:52 GMT
Bloody hell, this page is a tough read, everything crossed for you convercide and spacein_vader.
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Oct 1, 2021 18:59:48 GMT
Christ spacein_vader. The way you're handling this is just remarkable. Good luck dude.
|
|
|
Post by spacein_vader on Oct 1, 2021 19:02:04 GMT
Christ spacein_vader. The way you're handling this is just remarkable. Good luck dude. You say that, but I haven't got out of bed today, feel like crap physically and emotionally and am sat here in tears. I'm very lucky my family are being amazing and getting me through.
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Oct 1, 2021 19:04:04 GMT
Don't be daft, if that's what you need, then that's what you should do. And your family know that and support that. Tomorrow is another day mate.
|
|
|
Post by Honk If You're Horny? on Oct 1, 2021 19:05:08 GMT
I can't imagine how tough it must be.
Wishing you the best mate.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2021 19:25:09 GMT
Sorry it's been such a shit day Space Invader, but I'm glad you're still here right now and I'm glad you've got this place to offload.
You take care and as for not getting out of bed and crying your eyes out, you do whatever you need to do and can do. Life has been very unfair to you, but you've made a difference and who knows where the ripples you've started will lead.
I'm sorry about the other people in this thread, but I'm glad your sister has the all clear Quaddy and I hope things go as well as they can for you Covercide.
|
|
Rodderz
New Member
Is all that we see or seem, But a dream within a dream?
Posts: 974
|
Post by Rodderz on Oct 1, 2021 19:48:12 GMT
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles space 😞. Here's wishing you & your family comfort during this ordeal.
All the best to convercide as well for your mum's health problems dude.
Quaddy, brilliant news man 💪, it's hopeful to read that cancer doesn't always win.
|
|
Vortex
Junior Member
Harvey Weinstein's Tattered Penis
is apparently a mangina.
Posts: 4,403
|
Post by Vortex on Oct 1, 2021 20:27:42 GMT
Shit, from the high of quaddy's news, to the next low for spacein_vader.
Sorry to hear about your current set back mr. vader.
|
|
|
Post by drhcnip on Oct 1, 2021 20:31:40 GMT
Well so much for that. Every time I go for chemo there's a very thorough examination first. Now I know why. They found a 3cm ish cyst on my back, I'd known it was there as I get them occasionally so mentioned it in passing. Straight away the nurse called the consultant down. Apparently I'm very lucky it hadn't become infected already, but if they'd given me chemo as planned the likelihood it would be was over 90%, which would mean days in hospital and in the worst case sepsis which can be deadly. Instead they called my GP, told him in no uncertain terms he needs to examine me and proscribe the relevant antibiotics today and then gave me a course of self administered injections (eek) to boost my immune system. I'll then be reassessed next Tuesday and if the cyst has gone down enough have chemo next Wednesday. While frustrating it's served as a timely reminder of how fragile my body is and how thorough, caring and supportive the chemotherapy team are. Fuck cancer for making my body so fucking fragile. shit, mate, that's a fucking arse - you're right, though, everything that can be bearable to someone can be a hell of a lot worse when you're going through treatment and they'll always treat infections before continuing treatment, it seems best of luck to you, pal, hope it settles down ok
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2021 21:34:42 GMT
spacein_vaderSounds like you've had a rough day on top of everything. Don't think I, an internet stranger, can offer much in the way of comfort except that I think you've got the support of all of us here in what must be exceptionally trying times.
|
|
|
Post by Sarfrin on Oct 1, 2021 23:23:11 GMT
Christ spacein_vader. The way you're handling this is just remarkable. Good luck dude. You say that, but I haven't got out of bed today, feel like crap physically and emotionally and am sat here in tears. I'm very lucky my family are being amazing and getting me through. Your family is amazing because you've built it together. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel but I'm pretty sure the support you're getting comes from the support you've given your family over the years.
|
|
|
Post by Honk If You're Horny? on Oct 3, 2021 22:27:33 GMT
My Mum remarried about 7-8 years ago to a really lovely guy. Unfortunately earlier this year he was diagnosed with liver cancer. He passed away today. It's obviously very sad but what makes it difficult is that my Mum in New Zealand and with the limited isolation places available I can't get back in to the country to help out.
My Mum was looking after him at home with support from nurses and specialists for the past few months which was very difficult. She had to do the same for my step father who died from skin cancer about 15 years back. That was devastating so to have to go through it all again... My Mums fairly stoic but hearing her cry on the phone is pretty heartbreaking.
Hopefully I can get back in the next few months and help out but what I regret is not telling Terry thank you for being so good to my Mum because he really looked after her.
So I guess as cliched as it sounds don't hesitate to tell people you love them or care about them or thank them while you can.
|
|
|
Post by Dougs on Oct 4, 2021 5:22:38 GMT
sorry to hear that Load. Must be very hard not being able to be there for your mum.
|
|