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Post by drhcnip on May 22, 2022 6:38:36 GMT
I feel guilty about bumping this. 😞 My father in law has had a relapse and been taken into hospital this week. They discovered an internal haemorrhage and did an emergency operation to stop the bleeding and found a pair of huge, malignant tumours in his abdomen. He can't have any food or even liquid because it might cause something to rupture, so it sounds like he doesn't have very long left. The family have been told but he's sedated post-op and doesn't know. Mrs Dogbot lost her mum to Cancer when she was 18, now her dad. And she's torn between grief and having to decide whether she wants to try and rush out to Caribean now and maybe see him one last time or waiting for his funeral. Heartbreaking. Fuck cancer indeed. ah, crap, sorry to hear this, pal - love & hugs to you all and never feel guilty for bumping the thread - it's never pleasant, but it's what it/we are here for...gawd knows it's been a refuge for me enough times...
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on May 22, 2022 6:52:32 GMT
So sorry to read this. Having lost my dad recently, I can only also say that I’d most definitely get on a plane asap and risk missing the funeral. I got back 2 days before dad left us and will never forget his face when he said “I’m so glad you’re here, I thought you weren’t going to make it”. My brother in Oz was just too late but here for the funeral and it really broke his heart. I know he’d come earlier and miss the funeral if he had a time machine (and it was possible). Wishing you both all the best.
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on May 22, 2022 8:04:11 GMT
Thank you for the kind words and thoughts everyone, I appreciate it.
I'll support whatever decision Mrs d makes.
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Post by clemfandango on May 22, 2022 9:43:02 GMT
Awful news, sorry to hear this dogbot, wishing you and your wife all the best.
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on May 23, 2022 8:51:23 GMT
She's going to fly out with her brother. Her other two brothers will go after.
We're just sorting flights now. There are travel agents who specialise in this sort of thing (flights to the Caribbean) so hopefully they won't have a 27 hour stop in Miami.
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on May 23, 2022 9:13:48 GMT
She's going to fly out with her brother. Her other two brothers will go after. We're just sorting flights now. There are travel agents who specialise in this sort of thing (flights to the Caribbean) so hopefully they won't have a 27 hour stop in Miami. Wish her all the best, hopefully they get some memorable time together.
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Ulythium
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Post by Ulythium on May 23, 2022 9:20:26 GMT
What スコットランド said - hope it all works out as best it can, dogbot . Do keep us posted, as and when you can/feel like it.
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Post by rhaegyr on May 23, 2022 9:49:44 GMT
Sounds fucking awful for everyone involved.
Best of luck pal, hope you're all coping as well as can be.
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JonFE
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Post by JonFE on May 23, 2022 9:59:29 GMT
Sorry to read the news dogbot, wishing you and your family all the best. Good call for your wife to try and visit. My mum spent her last 40 days in ICU in a coma and, while we visited her daily, not my dad nor me and my sister had a chance to say goodbye.
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on May 23, 2022 10:38:09 GMT
I think it's the right choice and I also know that it's what he would want. It'll be hard, but ultimately I think it'll be worth it.
She went out several summers running whilst I was finishing up my 22 training the next generation of idiots, so she got to spend a good amount of grown up time with him and had all sorts of great memories (and photos) of them together. That's been a big help to her this weekend and hopefully she will be able to spend some more quality time this time.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2022 22:11:11 GMT
dogbotShite man missed this today. That's what happens when I actually decide to do some work at work and spend less time pissing about here. So sorry to read that. Glad your Mrs is able to go out and see him. My wife lost her second parent last year and she's still really struggling. Because of lockdown, she didn't feel as though she saw her mum enough, no matter what I say, and that kind of guilt takes a long time to go. There's always guilt with the ones that continue on, we can't help it. We do it to ourselves. Your wife at least will hopefully be able to take some comfort, no matter how small, knowing that she made it out there and she saw him. It might not be the best memory that she will have of him, but it will be one that she can take solace in. My thoughts with you all.
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Derblington
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Post by Derblington on Jun 10, 2022 14:51:11 GMT
I fucking hate this thread. I've always sort of kept up with it at a distance, reading the horrible stories and never knowing what to say, and now I get to contribute.
My mum was diagnosed on Monday. Got a call today saying that "it's everywhere", likely multiple tumors, potentially in her blood and inoperable at this stage. She needs to stop working, there will be chemo and then seeing if anything changes in 3 months time. Waiting on the results from the biopsy and call from the doctor next week to actually find out what it is and what the plan will be.
Don't really know what to do with myself atm. Feel completely useless being a different country to her, not that there's anything I can do about it regardless.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Jun 10, 2022 14:53:31 GMT
So sorry to hear this Derbs, obviously we're all here if you just want to vent and nothing more. Fuck cancer as always.
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Ulythium
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Post by Ulythium on Jun 10, 2022 14:57:20 GMT
DerblingtonSo sorry to hear that. As Jambo said, we're all here if you feel inclined to talk/vent/whatever. All the best.
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on Jun 10, 2022 14:57:42 GMT
So sorry Derblington, it's fucking horrible. I can only hope you get better news after the initial diagnosis and a good reaction to chemo, wee miracles rarely occur but they do occur. Wishing you all the best. As someone who's been through similar, my advice would be, if possible to not delay going back to see her.
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Post by dfunked on Jun 10, 2022 14:59:19 GMT
I always start typing responses to this thread and delete them as it just seems impossible to find the words.
So sorry for you. I went through the same thing with my mum (different countries) so know that feeling all too well, and yeah it's fucking horrible.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2022 15:05:29 GMT
Derblington Fuck. Sending my thoughts man. To echo others, don't hesitate to go and see her. You'll feel useless, that's natural, but the time together will be what's important.
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Post by Sarfrin on Jun 10, 2022 15:38:11 GMT
Damn. Sorry to hear that. Stay in touch on the phone and give yourself time to process before you do anything else.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 10, 2022 15:41:45 GMT
Sorry to hear that Derbs.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jun 10, 2022 21:22:46 GMT
Absolutely shit, I've unfortunately also been here, someone mentioned going to visit asap, do this.
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JonFE
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Post by JonFE on Jun 10, 2022 22:38:10 GMT
Derbs, so sorry to read the news, hope for the best outcome...
FCUTA
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Post by Danno on Jun 10, 2022 23:45:58 GMT
Ahh fucking hell Derblington.
Fuck cancer, shout if there's owt you need.
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Post by JuniorFE on Jun 11, 2022 1:16:02 GMT
I echo those here saying to go see her if at all possible, it may not seem like much but even just being there helps a lot imo DerblingtonHoping for the best and stay strong...
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deebs
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Post by deebs on Jun 11, 2022 5:28:51 GMT
I fucking hate this thread. I remember posting in the EG one about my mum too. She didn't make it because she was insanely late about getting anything seen to, but Derbs, I hope your mum did and comes away with a story to tell. Best of luck to you and your family bro.
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Derblington
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Post by Derblington on Jun 11, 2022 12:28:55 GMT
Thanks everybody.
I’ve got some things that I need to sort out here before I can travel back but I will be heading back soon. She’s taking it all surprisingly well, all things considered. Obviously some tearful convos, and she’s telling my grandmother today, which will be awful.
Until we know exactly what type of cancer it/they are, and details around treatments, etc, I’m trying not to let it break me down too much. Just have to see what they say.
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Post by freddiemercurystwin on Jun 28, 2022 20:13:34 GMT
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boo
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Post by boo on Jun 30, 2022 12:12:35 GMT
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in the summer of 2017. Had surgery to remove the offending walnut-sized bastard in October 2017. Test detected it lurking around in my lymph nodes in summer 2020. Started two years of medication, and then in December, had seven weeks of radiotherapy.
Just got back from my latest Consultant's appointment.
I am officially cancer-free!
Thank you, NHS!
To anyone going through it, or who has family or friends going through it - never give up.
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スコットランド
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Post by スコットランド on Jun 30, 2022 12:13:13 GMT
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in the summer of 2017. Had surgery to remove the offending walnut-sized bastard in October 2017. Test detected it lurking around in my lymph nodes in summer 2020. Started two years of medication, and then in December, had seven weeks of radiotherapy. Just got back from my latest Consultant's appointment. I am officially cancer-free! Thank you, NHS! To anyone going through it, or who has family or friends going through it - never give up. That’s fucking awesome. Congratulations!
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Post by dfunked on Jun 30, 2022 12:15:52 GMT
Always hate seeing this thread bumped but that's an excellent one. Nice one, boo!
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dogbot
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Post by dogbot on Jun 30, 2022 12:16:49 GMT
That's fantastic news, really happy for you.
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