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Post by Jambowayoh on Nov 3, 2021 15:10:46 GMT
Dude. Stop apologising and minimising your issues, there are no barometers for what constitutes as a life problem nor is there a threshold where you're allowed to ask for support. Everyone's struggles are real and valid and relevant only to you. Don't let yourself or anyone tell you otherwise.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 15:12:41 GMT
Yup. First step. Stop apologising. As soon as you do that you're in someway validating in your head the fact that you're a nuisance or you're in the wrong. That's not the case. At all. Glad the call to the Samaritans went well man and it sounds like you had a good talk with your other half. A few steps in a good direction. Great stuff.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 15:19:45 GMT
You know I nearly replied to you two with "Sorry" Anyway, thanks. Point noted.
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dfunked
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Post by dfunked on Nov 3, 2021 15:29:44 GMT
Delighted by that outcome, WK. I know all too well the feeling of being stuck in a job that I detest but finding it difficult to do anything to get out of it. It's a great feeling when you send your CV out and get bites right away. Reaffirms that you don't need to just put up with whatever shit you're going through with work.
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Post by Sarfrin on Nov 3, 2021 15:55:39 GMT
I really get the urge not to 'bother' other people with your problems and to think you should just man up, but it led me to bury my problems for far too long. I'm glad you found someone who listened and made a difference.
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Post by Jambowayoh on Nov 3, 2021 16:03:54 GMT
That phrase "man up" really is something that I try to avoid saying these days. That kind of thing has put unnecessary pressure and expectations on men for far too long.
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Post by Danno on Nov 3, 2021 20:15:17 GMT
The saying is a massive cliche already, but it's ok to not be ok.
I booked in with my therapist for next Weds and a few sessions after. Haven'tactually met him yet so that will be interesting. I was in bed until 1pm every day last week after having to lie to work about why I needed time off (they insist on a week's notice and I didn't want to go sick) and only got up to shit up this forum and swear at the Diablo servers, so seems like a smart move.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 20:27:22 GMT
Danno you bad just now chief? Is that why you had to have the time off? Work stresses, or something more?
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Post by Danno on Nov 3, 2021 20:43:03 GMT
Danno you bad just now chief? Is that why you had to have the time off? Work stresses, or something more? Work, relationship, being stuck at home too much, the goddamn parrot, it all crept up on me a little and I needed to get my brain to be BBC2 between 1am and 6am for a bit. I'm alright though, genuinely, and thank you for asking. Got full case reviews at 10 tomorrow so I may answer differently after those
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 20:46:52 GMT
That's good you've got your therapist booked in though man, hopefully helps. It does all creep up doesn't it. As you yourself have offered others in the past, don't be afraid to fire me a message if you ever need to.
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Post by Danno on Nov 3, 2021 20:50:47 GMT
That's good you've got your therapist booked in though man, hopefully helps. It does all creep up doesn't it. As you yourself have offered others in the past, don't be afraid to fire me a message if you ever need to. Will do dude, shouldn't come to that, you'll be relieved to hear 😀 And yeah, one little daily problem after another and it quickly switches around from a-ok, to the this is fine dog meme
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 21:14:23 GMT
That's alright I'm generally shite help anyway. I'm like one of those small books you get full of uplifting sayings you buy because it's next to the checkout and cheap, only to read it once on the toilet and then lob it in the bin.
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Post by Danno on Nov 3, 2021 21:21:08 GMT
That's alright I'm generally shite help anyway. I'm like one of those small books you get full of uplifting sayings you buy because it's next to the checkout and cheap, only to read it once on the toilet and then lob it in the bin. Lob the book in the toilet to create a different problem! Still good to hear that people are out there willing to listen, at certain times that means a LOT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 3, 2021 21:26:03 GMT
Hope you get on with your therapist next week Danno as that can make a huge difference. I know that Muppet I spoke to on Monday was...a Muppet.
I'm glad you're getting the help early and as has been said, if you need anything or someone to talk to them shout. I used to be a volunteer counselor years ago and did a months worth of residential training for it and some I might just about remember... Might. 😉
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Post by Danno on Nov 3, 2021 22:31:24 GMT
Hope you get on with your therapist next week Danno as that can make a huge difference. I know that Muppet I spoke to on Monday was...a Muppet. I'm glad you're getting the help early and as has been said, if you need anything or someone to talk to them shout. I used to be a volunteer counselor years ago and did a months worth of residential training for it and some I might just about remember... Might. 😉 Thank you Sir. And likewise, sometimes you just need someone to listen, and I can do that. That goes for all of you Fontgeekers
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Post by crispyxuk on Nov 3, 2021 23:14:29 GMT
Hope you get on with your therapist next week Danno as that can make a huge difference. I know that Muppet I spoke to on Monday was...a Muppet. I'm glad you're getting the help early and as has been said, if you need anything or someone to talk to them shout. I used to be a volunteer counselor years ago and did a months worth of residential training for it and some I might just about remember... Might. 😉 Thank you Sir. And likewise, sometimes you just need someone to listen, and I can do that. That goes for all of you Fontgeekers don’t worry if it doesn’t. Has a few sessions myself and found it all forced and fake. Me actually going to see someone was the bigger step as it’s acknowledgment
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Post by Danno on Nov 10, 2021 20:05:54 GMT
Back in therapy this afternoon. With the hour each way commute (which I am no longer used to) and the session itself I'm absolutely knackered. First time I've met the therapist in person too, so I was on guard a little AND the git was complimentary, which I get uncomfortable about.
Helpful though.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2021 20:07:17 GMT
Have you got more booked or was it a one off? I'm chuffed for you that you found it helpful though chief.
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Post by Danno on Nov 10, 2021 20:11:04 GMT
Cheers dude. Doing 4 seshs initially, will see if I need any more after that. I need to think about why the original work helped, to give these a bit of a steer, but Im at a bit of a loss other than "it's really bloody helpful to vent for 50 mins without judgment or stupid questions once a week"
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2021 20:16:46 GMT
That's good news Danno and I hope it helps. I know what you mean about the commute. I had to go to a funeral a couple of weeks back and the drive exhausted me.
I'm supposed to self refer myself to IAPT to get therapy after I spoke to my doctor. He's also asked if I want to try venaflaxine (or however you spell it) as it's apparently the one AD I've not tried. The others I have tried made me worse, so I'm mulling it over.
One of my team (as was - we've had yet another reorg) went off sick with stress this week. He tried ringing our works counseling service and was told they'd ring him back three weeks ago.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2021 20:18:25 GMT
Cheers dude. Doing 4 seshs initially, will see if I need any more after that. I need to think about why the original work helped, to give these a bit of a steer, but Im at a bit of a loss other than "it's really bloody helpful to vent for 50 mins without judgment or stupid questions once a week" I found the 30 minutes I spoke to the Samaritans to be a huge benefit for that very reason. Just someone to listen and empathize.
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Post by Danno on Nov 10, 2021 21:30:56 GMT
That's good news Danno and I hope it helps. I know what you mean about the commute. I had to go to a funeral a couple of weeks back and the drive exhausted me. I'm supposed to self refer myself to IAPT to get therapy after I spoke to my doctor. He's also asked if I want to try venaflaxine (or however you spell it) as it's apparently the one AD I've not tried. The others I have tried made me worse, so I'm mulling it over. One of my team (as was - we've had yet another reorg) went off sick with stress this week. He tried ringing our works counseling service and was told they'd ring him back three weeks ago. Thanks man. On the medication front, it can take a while to find the right one, I ended up taking a knife to myself on sertraline, but citalopram was fine and continues to level me out enough on a day to day basis. Any bullshit and your GP will switch you right away, so don't be afraid of trying that last one out. It really is tiring getting around now. Keeping the attitude up for moving around London so that you don't just get shoved into the path of a bus for not taking up enough of the pavement is a full time job.
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 11, 2021 0:20:18 GMT
Apologies for the long whine, but I'm limited at this time of day as to where I can unload...It's a bizarre world, the world of medication...had the exact opposite experience, citalopram did bugger all for me, but sertraline was fine for years...now they've moved me to mirtazapine that seems to be doing absolutely fuck all The world's going to shit at the moment - my daughter's increasingly worried about my ability to cope (had a fire in the kitchen last friday, fuck knows how it started, but my response was dulled to say the least, then I ended up putting my hand in the pan of water eggs had been boiling in to get some water to stop some smouldering...😆 ) ...i was onto the crisis line that day and was waiting for yet another callback from the MH assessment team until monday... I'm not convinced the new meds are doing anything, which is something I brought up with the crisis team on friday - I didn't notice it as much, but meg said how I was shuffling about mumbling with little urgency as if I was drunk...I think she's more worried because her lifeplan includes getting the hell out of dodge in the next few years and then what might happen to me after she's gone....it's all to shit atm, i've got an HR meeting with school in a few weeks, and after the docs and an OH appt, i think i'm definitely looking at trying for early retirement through ill health, so that's a massive weight on me as well to get that sorted - then the ensuing financial difficulties from that until I can get my feet back on the ground, as it's a fucking struggle atm anyway....ho hum.... Finally managed to get an emergency review appointment with the psych on Saturday after a heck of a fight to get a callback on the Monday...that should then get my case before an MDT next week and hopefully get something moving....fucking hope so as i'm quickly falling apart at the moment, I can feel it...got to drag my sorry carcass through christmas somehow as well...😆 ...at least managed to give meg a half-decent 21st today, though Starting to wonder whether I need some time somewhere or greater support at home, but both those options bring their own worries... TLDR - yeah, I'm still a miserable cunt...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2021 10:14:23 GMT
Hiya Dr.
Had I written that, then people would be having a go at me about the "I'm still a miserable cunt", so consider yourself had a go at. You're not that, you're suffering from a chemical imbalance possibly brought about by life conditions and /or your genes or whatever. Point is your brain is not in a happy place.
Soooo... very long post follows. I hope it helps someone as this place helps me and did so when I was very low due to migraines last week.
Ref the meds, I've apparently tried almost all (or they've been tried on me is probably more accurate) withe the following results (as best I can remember, I'm a bit "fuzzy" when on meds).
1) Citalopram (my first): I was put on for a couple of year until I noticed that I was suffering from incredibly rapid mood swings. I'd go from calm to absolutley furious in an instant. That wasn't me so I looked into them and came off them. I also had sexual problems on them, but I could cope with that. I came off that cold turkey (not a good idea), which was unpleasant. In hindsight, I think what I was suffering from when I was put on these was "drinking too much alcohol" coupled with stress. 2) Mirtazipine (which is as far as I'm aware the only AD which has shown measurable efficacy (this was on suicidal teenagers)) also made me angry. Its well known for also giving you the munchies. I was put on these by the crisis team and I had high hopes for them. Sadly they didn't do anything positive. 3) Sertraline / Zoloft made me a zombie. I wanted to sleep all the time and I was forgetful. I couldn't function on it. I was "between jobs" at the time and had to come off as I was unable to focus in interviews. 4) Prozac / Fluoxetine was the worst of the lot for me and made me very forgetful and unable to remember words and people's names. It also made me tired and unable to function. I was left with restless leg syndrome after that one which still hasn't gone away. 5) I was tried on a very low dose of Amitriptyline recently (10mg) for my anxiety / trouble sleeping which in larger doses is an AD. I was told to go on for 6 weeks and the Dr would get back to me. He never did and at the 8 week point I was aware it was not doing anything and my sleeping was worse. Coming off that pill was an absolute nightmare. I was constantly dizzy and nauseous. Finally I discovered that water helped (it dehydrates / messes with your water levels).
So I can relate. They work for some people, but sadly have never worked for me. I know I am missing something in my head because I have had a couple of brief moments in my life where I have suddenly felt really happy and like I was suddenly seeing the world in colour rather than black and white. Sadly I've not been able to recapture those moments.
Now I suffer from pretty chronic anxiety coupled with migraines which give me really negative moodswings. I think its down to long term affects of stress and possibly alcohol.
Things I've tried which have had a noticeable impact have been:
1. Unified Protocol for Transdiagnostic Treatment of Emotional Disorder: This is a group therapy which I've done twice, which is available from IAPT on the NHS. Each time I've done this, I've gone in to the 12 week course almost rocking in the corner and too scared to say anything to emerging with new hope and able to function again. I saw positive impacts on everyone who undertook and stayed with that treatment. I'm probably going to do it again. It is basically CBT and mindfulness and was very good. 2. Mindfulness meditation: This is probably the reason I'm still on this earth. It took me out of my thoughts and made me realise that they are not me. They are chemicals and they are my brain which is designed to think and ponder and pick at things and look for anything that it thinks might be a threat to it (all the negative stuff we endure it loves mulling over endlessly). This takes a while to kick in, but has been proven to help depression. It also helps with stress reduction, memory (it encourages increased brain activity and growth in the brain), decision making, inflamation of joints, pain management (next time you have a toothache, really focus on the pain and really experience it and it will reduce), and even ageing (it repairs the telemeres that are the protective caps on DNA and which are used to measure the effect of time on the body) . I need to do this more, but I get complacent. It takes a bit to kick in and to get right. 3. Acupuncture: I thought this was nonsense until I tried it for depression once and the change in my mood was almost instantaneous. I went in "in a very bad place" (divorce) and went out in a hell of a great mood which just went up and up. Downside was I spent a fortune on new clothes for myself that day (something I never do). Other downside is its hard to find someone who is good at this and it hurts. I've also used it for migraines (again I thought "yeah right", but the pain has significantly reduced ever since. It didn't stop the mood swings though. 4. Stopping drinking alcohol: Alcohol is a depressant. Not just short term, but also long term. Its also addictive and I drunk way, way too much of it for way, way too long. It took me a long time to realise I had a problem and that I was friends with people who also had a problem and that most people didn't drink the amount I did. I suspect that alcohol has done long term damage to my brain. From 18 through to 40, I routinely drunk over the guidelines and used to joke that "somethings got to kill me, so it might as well be something I enjoy". It took a long time to realise that I was using it as a crutch and it is a poison that harms every organ in the body. I'm never drinking again. 5. Exercise: That old chestnut. The last thing I wanted to do when depressed was get out of bed, never mind run down the street. However, it is good for your body, your self esteem and your mood. I look upon this as a preventative. Not something I can do when "there", but something that helps keep me from there. 6. Changing your life: I've been doing 3 people's jobs for the last few months. I'm now back to one and the difference already in my mood and my body is considerable. I was under a stupid amount of stress and pressure and the body can only take so much. Its easier said than done to just quit, but see if you can pull back a bit and try to be less of a perfectionist 7. Diet: The saying "you are what you eat" is starting to be shown to be true in more ways than we knew. There is a second brain in the gut (the size of a cat's brain) which is directly connected to the main brain by the vagus nerve. Almost all the body's seretonin(95%) is created in the gut (not the brain) and the gut is home to the gut biome which is a collection of trillions of bacteria which are being shown to alter our moods directly. If you are eating crap, you feed the crap bacteria and they grow at the expense of the rest and you feel crap... that's simplistic, but its the basics. See also lactose intolerance and gluten intolerance and IBS (thought to be impacted by seretonin levels in the gut). Oh and a simple thing like diarhoea can really mess up your biome. Did you know that eating something as simple as some nuts will increase the seretonin in your gut for instance? I didn't. Caffeine, chocolate and cheese all give me migraines which all give me low moods (as the body pisses out all its seretonin when you have a migraine). I am what I eat and I need to get my sugar intake down and also reduce my gluten as we eat way too much of that stuff too. 8. Electronics: I'm addicted to my phone. Each time I pick it up I get a hit of dopamine. Each time I hit refresh I get the same. If I see a notification I get a bigger hit. I'm making my brain into an addict for IT and its not doing me good. I've started looking at an IT free Sunday each week where I don't watch TV, look at my phone or touch a computer. Its harder than it sounds and that's disturbing...talking of which its been disturbing my sleep.. 9. Sleep: this stuff is important. caffeine (keeps you awake) and alcohol (messes with your sleep cycle) and white lights (messes with melatonin - the stuff that makes you sleep) from screens all negatively impact sleep. Clutter in your room makes you sleep poorly, so tidy it.Have a relaxing bath. Read a book. Meditate. Listen to a sleep story. Put some lavender on your pillow. Change your mattress. Whatever it takes, do it. When I'm not sleeping properly I'm not in a good place emotionally.
So, TLDR, you're not a miserable cunt, you're someone who needs help and whose brain can not currently cope with what is or has been happening to it.
Maybe start keeping a journal or diary to see what helps and what hurts you. That's how I found out that if I had chocolate, then two days later I had a migraine and a day later my mood went south. I need to do this more and I need to do more mindfulness. I'm also going to get onto IAPT. Oh and I also noticed that my mood seems to be cyclical and this time of year every year (or at least the last few) my mood sucks. It might be SADs (lack of sunlight). It might be that I'm just worrying about affording Christmas. It might be that my diet changes as its colder. Who knows, but I'll figure it out. Regardless, journalling and in particular writing down three good things that happened to you each day (even if its just "I didnt lose my job, my house hasn't fallen down, the sun came up") has been shown to have a positive impact on the brain as the brain is a miserable git that focuses on the negatives as those are the threats to it. There are too many "possible" threats these days and many of them we can't do anything about (COVID, Brexit, Climate Change, Inflation, Housing Shortages, Increasing retirement, Reduction in social interation (I'm not talking about "liking" a post) etc etc).
The body is a complex thing with lots of stuff interconnected. If you get something "off" for a while, then it might eventually hit you. There's a hell of a lot of demands on us these days and we take in a hell of a lot (I read somewhere that we get more information in a week about the world around us "thanks" to the media than someone a couple of hundred years ago did in their lives). We need to realise that we're not invincible and that we need help now and then.
DrPinch try and focus on the here and now if you can. Yes, retirement might be hard, but focus on today and getting through that as best you can.
Also, as people told me, your post is full of negatives. Be aware of that. You're not a miserable cunt having a long whine who needs to apologise about their sorry carcass. You're a person who right now at this point, because of the things you have gone through cannot cope as well as you want to. It is good that you are looking for help and want to get better. I hope you get the help you need. Writing here is a good start as it gets your thoughts out of your head and out in front of you. Things can get better. I've been as low as its possible for a person to be and come out the other end of it and had the best moments of my life after those lows where I thought life was no longer worth living. Even last week I was really down, but now I am up again (and I'm thinking of a certain song now..thanks brain). As the Budhist theory of Impermanence teaches us, nothing stays the same and everything changes. You feel shit now, that wasn't always the case and that probably won't always be the case. Work on now and how you can improve now and tomorrow you can deal with then.
Okay, this was way, way too long, but I wanted to try and help as you're one of those who help others including me. I am not an expert on any of this. I have researched it a lot as I want to be better, so I can support my family and so I can enjoy life, but I am not there yet. On that note, I need to stop this and check on my wife (she's sick, I got one hours sleep between Monday morning and last night) and then meditate. though I'll probably forget the meditation and make myself a cuppa as I'm clueless. Do what I say, not what I do.
Take care.
TLDR You're human and have limits, like all of us.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2021 10:27:36 GMT
Danno . Good man. I hope it continues to help, even if it is as you say, an outlet for you to vent. London can't be easy. I know some days are harder to face than others but I'm blessed with living up here, where, okay, it has it's own problems, but it's no London. Keep going man. drhcnip Sorry to read about your troubles. There's no way I can offer more or expand upon WK's rather excellent post above me, only to echo what I have said before (and what WK quite rightly notes): don't apologise for how you feel. This is, as you know more than most, a safe place for you to offload. This thread is hardly going to be full of "OMG I FEEL AMAZING" so don't post and play yourself down for being "a miserable cunt". You're not. What you are is dealing with a LOT of stuff, and dealing with it you are. It might not feel like it, but I can see from your post you already recognise a lot of things that you need assistance with, and that's good. I understand how bleak it all looks, especially when you line it all up like that and it looks like a series of brick walls you have to push yourself through, but one thing at a time. Don't think about Christmas. Focus on the day ahead, then the next day after that. Don't overwhelm yourself. I don't have a lot of recent personal experience to draw on, so I won't be as helpful as some (had some quite serious issues in my 20's but that's some time ago now, although I am aware there are "things" that are starting to crop up, but it's early days and I too, am just taking one day at a time), and I certainly don't have any advice or opinions on treatment, not that I would offer anything like that anyway, best leave it to the pros. Just know that there are always ears on here willing to listen. quitsking That's a lot of very interesting reading there and there's actually a fair bit to take away from that. Thank you.
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 11, 2021 12:44:47 GMT
thanks, chaps - the miserable cunt is rather tongue in cheek, mainly aimed at the delightful member on here who decided to ask me if I'd 'tried not being a whining piece of shit' a while back, when i was very imbalanced - put me off posting for a while as I was back in my self-harm mood then anyway...as you say, wunt, it's a safe place to offload and I've used it, and its eg counterpart, for years as I have very few other outlets I can open up to
thanks for the detailed response, witch - interesting to hear others' views on mirtazapine - the increased anger is one I can relate to. Had group therapy a few times and various forms of counselling, from GAD groups to bereavement. From what they're saying so far, i think they're planning on pitching in a bit higher this time - hope so. I'm a big advocate of mindfulness, started using it about 5 years ago and the kick out of getting it right is immense. I need to retrain my brain into accepting the use of such tools again as I'm just running on empty at the moment. Hopefully getting the meds right and some perspective will kickstart that. Same with exercise & diet - as you say, I'm in that 'sunk in a chair' space, I don't even go to bed and haven't for a long time, but therein lies another issue. I also have no interest in food whatsoever so anything that goes in isn't even thought about. Also not helpful, being type 2 and having liver cirrhosis. Luckily, I became almost teetotal when my wife's cancer was first diagnosed so have been pretty much sober for 6 - 7 years. Had I not been, I have had issues with it in the past so know I'd be in a pretty dreadful place with it now. The 'changing your life' point is a good one, this is my 'eye on the prize' hook. I've invested all of myself into a fulltime stressful job, fulltime carer for a terminal wife & suicidal daughter plus a few other 'roles' for well over 5 years, the impact of which, plus sudden bereavement, has led to my total collapse. Repairing and renewing is what I need to do to lead to my 'second' life. A good work friend of mine once told me quote 'you have two lives; the second one begins when you realise you only have one'. Far too true.
Gave journalling a go following my wife's death - works for my daughter, didn't work for me. But some things will, it's just finding them and then being back on the level playing-field to be able to engage again. Thanks for your thoughts, fella, it's just good sometimes to know I'm not alone.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2021 13:10:57 GMT
Hi Doc. I had forgotten everything you've been through and about that person. Its amazing what an overworked brain forgets... including what's important. I can't remember anything at home because I'm too busy focusing on work based drivel that I convince myself is the be all and end all of existence. Its not, its a means to an end. Oh and on the forgetting what you've been through, my post seems a bit trite now I read it back as you've got some heavy crap to process, but if just one word helped, then it was worth the rest. I lost someone I cared about due to cancer and that nearly destroyed me. It does get easier. There are times when it hurts (anniversaries, favourite songs playing etc), but its manageable. Neither of us are the first to lose someone we care about and sadly we won't be the last. We will both get there. Keep walking forwards and let your brain heal. Don't overload yourself with that work shite (says the person who just did that). It doesn't help in the long run, quite the opposite. Indeed, I've bust a gut at work and while I did, the lazy buggers spent their time feathering their nests. Who's the mug? Work's to pay for Christmas, not for life... or something. I've got a week off next week (won't know what to do with myself), then 3 weeks later, I've the rest of the year off (sounds more impressive than "3 weeks")). My new job is a demotion, but one I needed so I can sort myself out and have a break. Working 100% day in and day out is not sustainable or sensible even if it was. I'm not great at saying "help" and I should have. I'm not going back there. Much more important to piss about on FG and enjoy life a bit. I have worked very hard the last few years and its about time I became a skiving git and didn't feel guilty about it. I was actually able to do some research on a problem yersterday and that felt good. Its nice having some space in my brain and not getting to the end of the day with a fuck off big To Do list. You and I both need to invest in ourselves first and foremost, then our families and then work... if we can be arsed. And journalling doesn't work for me either, but apparently its good. I think I've never had the time to reflect on it and always saw it as somethign to get out the way at the end of the day, which sort of misses the point. Talking of which I am going to meditate now. Time to practice what I preach. I am well aware how amazing it is and I am also very aware how fucking stupid I am not doing it as much as I should
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Post by drhcnip on Nov 11, 2021 14:19:43 GMT
not to worry, pal - at the end of the day i'm just another internet randomer.. thanks for the support - we sound very similar, especially in the asking for help department - i'm working hard to try and improve that workwise, i think trying for early retirement will work best for me - teaching isn't an easy job in which to reduce the demands of the job...best i could do is ask for a reduction in days but the plate-spinning and responsibility is still there - not fair on the kids if i try to struggle on - better to get out in the best way i can, take the time to 'find me' again then find something more comfortable to supplement the pension in a few years - if i can get the lump sum and then downsize from where i live, that should see me through until i've found my feet again...that's all long-term, though - as you said, affording christmas is a more immediate concern, scraping through from day to day i know people for whom journalling has been wonderful - i think, like you, i just didn't reflect on it enough to help me...it worked for a week or so in terms of bereavement but then i drifted away good luck going forward, mate
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Post by damagedinc on Nov 11, 2021 16:12:46 GMT
Having one of my "crap" days today. Its always a fucking mission to claw myself out of it. Hopefully only be a few days this time.
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Post by Sarfrin on Nov 11, 2021 20:39:40 GMT
I only suffered from relatively mild depression a few years ago so I don't have any useful advice. I don't even know what to say really except that I'm here and wishing for good outcomes for all of you.
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