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Post by Dougs on May 12, 2023 20:26:25 GMT
Thanks mate. Today went as well as really. Lovely, simple service, then onto the pub for the wake. I'd put a load of old photos on the laptop onto the telly, which was ace. My uncle, who I hadn't seen in 12 years since Dad's funeral, absolutely loved it. Spent ages seeing photos he'd probably never seen. Saw my cousins I'd not seen since then too. Then played pool lots, with lots of hilarity and competition. Haven't quite let it all out yet but that will come.
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Vortex
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Post by Vortex on May 12, 2023 20:27:59 GMT
Glad to hear all went as well as it could Dougs.
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nexus6
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Post by nexus6 on May 12, 2023 20:33:20 GMT
Well done Dougs.
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Post by elstoof on May 12, 2023 20:47:22 GMT
Only just seen the last few pages, I’m so sorry to hear Dougs. Glad you were able to celebrate the life lived today
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Post by Dougs on May 12, 2023 22:35:00 GMT
Thanks Els.
The eulogy I wrote (but didn't read, sod that) went down well too. Lots of tears, laughter and love from the whole family. Feeling quite lucky overall.
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Post by jeepers on May 13, 2023 7:52:41 GMT
Glad that the day went well Dougs. Best to you and family.
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Post by A46Matt on May 30, 2023 8:24:44 GMT
Mums funeral on Thursday. Not sure how that’s going to hit, obviously going to be sad but I’ve been doing ok as far as it goes the last couple weeks. Could be denial, or maybe I’ve dealt with a lot of it in the weeks leading up to her passing. Few wobbles here and there.
As well as the Thursday I’ve also taken the Friday off, give a few days to deal with it without work or anything needing to be done.
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Post by Dougs on May 30, 2023 9:36:44 GMT
Definitely wise to take the time. Look after yourself and those around you - it's a long road but does get easier in time. My wobbles are now only every 3-4 days as opposed to every day! Biggest thing I am struggling with is going into her house. Hits me like a train every time. Once that is cleared fully and sold, it'll be much easier.
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Post by A46Matt on May 30, 2023 14:58:30 GMT
Glad things are getting easier for you Dougs. Fortunately I’ve not had anything to deal with as yet, mum had sorted it all beforehand and her husband has enacted it all before I could even try and help.
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Post by elstoof on Jun 5, 2023 11:40:32 GMT
Just received a letter from the DWP about my dads disability allowance, they need to make sure they didn’t overpay after his death so can they have my bank details as next of kin. Bollocks to that, as if I want to let you direct debit whatever you like from my own account
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Post by Dougs on Jun 5, 2023 14:17:40 GMT
I had similar actually, but it was "we've underpaid you". I'd already sorted out the overpayment of Attendance Allowance...
BHF just took a load of the furniture but sadly couldn't take the sofas and armchairs due to sun damage (most have been in a conservatory for a good few years). Will see if we can give them away for free, failing that, another skip and smash them up.
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mrpon
Junior Member
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Post by mrpon on Jun 5, 2023 14:54:22 GMT
We're struggling with my Dad. He can't move on, misses my Mum so much and just keeps looking at her photo Every suggestion we've had is just batted away. It's hard to get through. Even my sister has had to see "someone" to get through it. That fell on deaf ears when we suggested he do the same. I feel heartless because I've been able to accept and move on. Maybe I'm dead inside. Just venting, no advice needed.
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Post by Dougs on Jun 5, 2023 15:14:13 GMT
My mum was the same after my dad. Was probably 3-4 years before she moved past it enough. Everyone deals with grief differently. Doesn't mean you loved her less.
I'm definitely struggling more than my bro and sis but that's OK. I was the youngest, was always going to be hard. Will be easier when the house is sold.
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EMarkM
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Post by EMarkM on Jun 14, 2023 9:20:12 GMT
mrpon I know you haven't asked for advice but, if it helps, when I lost my wife I had about a two year period before I got back in touch with a fiancée from years ago, and started the new life which I have now. During those two years, I had family and friends around me, and, for a while, a few of the pets that we had owned together, but I just had to trudge through life, one day at a time. I could not see the future. Everything was just "grey", and I had no ambition in any direction at all. I started a new job, literally two weeks after the Mrs. died, and, whilst difficult, it did keep me going, I suppose. Gave me something to focus on. But, honestly, there was almost "nothing" in the Universe around me at all, or at least that's how it felt. Some of those feelings remain even today, sometimes, coming over me in waves, despite the lovely, busy, chaotic new life in which I find myself. But, time WILL make a difference, and your dad (and the rest of those who knew your mum) will find that recovery does gradually happen. The very best to you all.
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